empulse
10-17-2006, 05:29 PM
<p>Rumored excerpts from the upcoming "Karl Rove Joke Book"</p><p> </p><p>Q: What's brown and black and looks good on a whistleblower?<br />A: A doberman.<br /><br />Q: What do evangelical christians that aren't hypocrites and UFO's have in common?<br />A: You always hear about them but never see them.<br /><br />Q: Do you know why the evangelical christian got fired from the M&M's factory?<br />A: He kept sending his kids and the poor to die for the W's.<br /><br />Q: What do evangelical christians and beer bottles have in common?<br />A: They're both empty from the neck up.<br /><br />Q: How many evangelical christians does it take to wallpaper a room?<br />A: Just two if they're sliced thin enough.<br /><br />Q: What do you call 5000 evangelical christians at the bottom of the ocean?<br />A: A good start.<br /><br />Q: How can you tell when an investigative reporter is well hung?<br />A: When you can just fit your finger in between the noose and his neck.<br /><br />Q: Why don't cannibals eat televangelists?<br />A: Because they taste like they're full of shit too.<br /><br />Q: How do you keep your boss from reading your emails?<br />A: Put them in a folder marked Reality.<br /><br />Q: What do you call a handcuffed Congressman?<br />A: Trustworthy.<br /><br />Q: How many evangelical christians does it take to change a light bulb?<br />A: 100, 99 to pray, 1 to take their money and hire an illegal immigrant to do it on the cheap while keeping the money and taking the credit for talking to Jesus. <br /><br />Q: What's the best way to force Rush Limbaugh to do sit-ups?<br />A: Put the remote control, the oxycotin, the viagra, and a Dominican prostitute between his toes.<br /><br />Q: What's the difference between Big Foot and an intelligent Bill O'Reilly fan?<br />A: Big Foot's been spotted a few times.<br /><br />Q: Why do only 1% of evangelical christians get into Heaven?<br />A: Because if they all went it would be Hell.<br /><br />Q: What's the difference between Jack Abramoff and a vampire?<br />A: Vampires only suck blood at night.<br /><br />Q: How can you tell when Condoleeza Rice is lying?<br />A: Her lips are moving.<br /><br />Q: Why don't parasites attack televangelists?<br />A: Professional courtesy.<br /><br />Q: What do you have when an evangelical christian is buried up to his neck in sand?<br />A: Not enough sand.<br /><br />Q: How do you save thirty drowning Congressional Republicans?<br />A: Tell lies to the voting public through the main stream media and start a war.<br /><br />Q: How do you stop the head of the Family Research Council from drowning?<br />A: Take your foot off his head.<br /><br />Q: What's the difference between a bucket of shit and Pat Robertson?<br />A: The bucket.<br /><br />Q: What should you do if you run over Ralph Reed?<br />A: Back over him to make sure.<br /><br />Q: What's the difference between a catfish and Dick Cheney?<br />A: One's a slimy scum sucking scavenger, the other is a fish.<br /><br />Q: Why are Republicans so good in bed?<br />A: Practice...we've been screwing all of you for years.<br /><br />I have the body of a God ... Buddha! <br /><br />Rove Out</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Looks credible to me..<br /></p>