Do You Ever Really Know Someone ?

[joeyballsack]

<p>I just found out a pretty good friend of mine has been charged with attempted murder for an incident that occured on Saturday night. </p><p>He has been in Afghanistan for the last six months or so and just came home on his two weeks of leave. His wife has been cheating on him pretty much the entire time he has been over there and he has known it for a while now. He got home on Friday and he and his wife had an argument that ended with him possibly pushing her down some steps. He went back last night for whatever reason and the person his wife has been cheating on him with was there causing him to basically snap in my estimation. He stabbed the guy 8 times before taking a gun from the house and then leaving. The guy he stabbed is in stable condition now so it looks like he is going to make it. Ron is still missing though and the police are still looking for him and I have a really bad feeling that he is going to do something really bad to himself if he hasnt already. The guy has 4 kids, 2 with his current wife, including one he has barely seen because he has been deployed since her birth. </p><p>I know this really sounds terrible, but I dont really feel bad for the person that he stabbed at all. This person has a history of attempting to sleep with women whose husbands are deployed.&nbsp; I think he was&nbsp; basically&nbsp; playing with fire and he finally got burned. </p><p>With that said, I still dont understand the choice that my friend made. I think it was incredibly selfish of him to do what he did. He has not only ruined his own life, but made a mess out of his kids lives. I hope he doesnt take the cowardly way out and kill himself, because thats only going to fuck the kids up more. </p><p>I have been over to this guys house, worked with him and partied with him and never, ever got the feeling he had any violent tendencies in him. I just dont see how this happened and wonder if I missed something. </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[keithy_19]

<p>This is a situation that is made for TV. It really sucks. I really don't know what to say to you to make anything better, but I all hope it works out somehow. </p>

[A.J.]

<strong>joeyballsack</strong> wrote:<br /><p>I have been over to this guys house, worked with him and partied with him and never, ever got the feeling he had any violent tendencies in him. I just dont see how this happened and wonder if I missed something. </p><p>This is a sad story for all concerned.&nbsp; But I have to think that being in combat in Afghanistan, being homesick and knowing what was going on&nbsp;were all factors&nbsp;--&nbsp;not that you (or anyone else) &quot;missed something&quot;.</p><p>I was reading a Washington Post Magazine article yesterday about Doonesbury creator Gary Trudeau and this particular section struck me:</p><p>At the table is a filmmaker named Chuck Lacy, who just produced a documentary called &quot;The War Tapes,&quot; which followed three National Guardsmen to Iraq and back home. Lacy is saying there is something about this war unlike any other in history. The Internet has made it possible for soldiers to be in country, in a theater of war, but still communicate daily with their families, in real time, sometimes with video.</p><p>Is that good or bad? Trudeau asks.</p><p>Both, says Lacy: The soldiers say it's their lifeline, but it's also a terrible drain on their emotions; they're dealing not only with their own anxieties but also with the anxieties of their families 6,000 miles away. It can be surreal. They'll come back from a firefight and then try to resolve a mortgage problem.</p>

[ChimneyFish]

<p><strong><em><font face="georgia,times new roman,times,serif" size="2">Sad. Hopefully he comes to his senses. Wish there was something more I could say.</font></em></strong></p><p><strong><em><font face="Georgia" size="2">As for the other guy, you've got to be a real scumbag to sleep with a soldier's wife. Just a piece of garbage.</font></em></strong></p>

[narc]

<p>Yet this sort of thing (cheating, not att. murder) happens all the time on base during wartime. </p><p>My buddy is an officer, and he went out with a woman who was also an officer a few years ago. Midway through the date, he was horrified when she started talking about her husband as if it were no big thing (he was in Iraq at the time, and she wasn't wearing her wedding ring). Obviously, they didn't go out again. &nbsp;</p>

[johnniewalker]

<strong>A.J.</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>joeyballsack</strong> wrote:<br /><p>I have been over to this guys house, worked with him and partied with him and never, ever got the feeling he had any violent tendencies in him. I just dont see how this happened and wonder if I missed something. </p><p>This is a sad story for all concerned. But I have to think that being in combat in Afghanistan, being homesick and knowing what was going on were all factors -- not that you (or anyone else) &quot;missed something&quot;.</p><p>I was reading a Washington Post Magazine article yesterday about Doonesbury creator Gary Trudeau and this particular section struck me:</p><p>&nbsp;</p>At the table is a filmmaker named Chuck Lacy, who just produced a documentary called &quot;The War Tapes,&quot; which followed three National Guardsmen to Iraq and back home. Lacy is saying there is something about this war unlike any other in history. The Internet has made it possible for soldiers to be in country, in a theater of war, but still communicate daily with their families, in real time, sometimes with video.<p>&nbsp;</p><p>Is that good or bad? Trudeau asks.</p><p>Both, says Lacy: The soldiers say it's their lifeline, but it's also a terrible drain on their emotions; they're dealing not only with their own anxieties but also with the anxieties of their families 6,000 miles away. It can be surreal. They'll come back from a firefight and then try to resolve a mortgage problem.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>To me that's kind of cynical.&nbsp; To say that a total disconnect from reality is more healthy is rediculous.&nbsp;&nbsp; </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;<br />It must be so hard to come back, and be able to relate your experiences to people who cannot possibly comprehend the pain your feeling.&nbsp; I met a soldier in an airport who was silent to me the whole time, until we got on the plane and sat next to each other.&nbsp; He explained his bracelet on his wrist of how he lost his buddy.&nbsp; He was only 19.&nbsp; It was hard for me to even compare, I felt bad talking about an immediate family member I had lost months before.&nbsp; Its frustrating when you can explain these things to people and they don't understand things the way you do or how it can be so painful.&nbsp; People act disapprovingly when you might act violently or strangely and I think that further alienates soldiers.&nbsp; I hope terribly that the soldier's return to society is given special consideration on mitigating his sentence.&nbsp; It would be a shame if we turn our back on him.&nbsp; That's a terrible situation.<br /></p>

[cougarjake13]

<strong>johnniewalker</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>A.J.</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>joeyballsack</strong> wrote:<br /><p>I have been over to this guys house, worked with him and partied with him and never, ever got the feeling he had any violent tendencies in him. I just dont see how this happened and wonder if I missed something. </p><p>This is a sad story for all concerned. But I have to think that being in combat in Afghanistan, being homesick and knowing what was going on were all factors -- not that you (or anyone else) &quot;missed something&quot;.</p><p>I was reading a Washington Post Magazine article yesterday about Doonesbury creator Gary Trudeau and this particular section struck me:</p><p>&nbsp;</p>At the table is a filmmaker named Chuck Lacy, who just produced a documentary called &quot;The War Tapes,&quot; which followed three National Guardsmen to Iraq and back home. Lacy is saying there is something about this war unlike any other in history. The Internet has made it possible for soldiers to be in country, in a theater of war, but still communicate daily with their families, in real time, sometimes with video. <p>&nbsp;</p><p>Is that good or bad? Trudeau asks.</p><p>Both, says Lacy: The soldiers say it's their lifeline, but it's also a terrible drain on their emotions; they're dealing not only with their own anxieties but also with the anxieties of their families 6,000 miles away. It can be surreal. They'll come back from a firefight and then try to resolve a mortgage problem.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>To me that's kind of cynical.&nbsp; To say that a total disconnect from reality is more healthy is rediculous.&nbsp;&nbsp; </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>i disagree, if he's engaged in a fight or battle, the only thing he should be thinking about is whats in front of him or around him and how to stay alive, not having trivial at home issues flowing through his mind</p>

[Bulldogcakes]

<p>THis is nothing new. Soldiers have been coming home with all sorts of shell shock/post traumatic stress disorders for as long as wars have been fought. A whole generation of Vietnam vets had all sorts of trouble re-integrating into society. <br /></p><p>You wonder if someone who's attracted to military service for the wrong reasons comes back and is any different than they were going in, or if war affects normal people so much that they do things they otherwise wouldn't. Probably both. One thing is sure. Many of the lessons you learn in military service dont always translate well to the rest of society. <br /></p><p>But is this really such a suprise? A man catches his wife cheating in the heat of the moment does something crazy. I think we all like to think we would never do anything like that, but were probably full of shit to think that. In certain situations, especially coming off years of constant stress plus a bad relationship its probably too much to expect anyone to take. Dont get me wrong, it's still not justified in any way, and he deserves whatever the legal system throws at him. But alot of people (military or not) are capable of doing crazy things when at their wits end. </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p>



<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by Bulldogcakes on 10-23-06 @ 7:45 PM</span>