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Why do women like getting treated like crap????? [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard

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CYYYFYYY
10-28-2001, 07:11 PM
Why do women like being
treated like crap? I am
serious I treat women good. I
never cheat I hardly lie I
could be more romantic but I
have my moments I have a solid
job and if I do say so myself
I am a fine looking man....
What happens women always
cheat and lie to me. When I
talk to women especially nice
good looking women they always
say how they boy friends treat
them like crap. My question
is why is he your boyfriend
then. Rule number 8 of my
list of rules of life....
Women like being treated like


David the Franchize
Everyone Loves CYYYFYYY

TooCute
10-28-2001, 07:25 PM
Who likes being treated like
crap??? I have dated my fair
share of jerks, but usually
that doens't come out until a
while into the relationship...
and then it takes some time
for the cons of the
relationship to outweight the
pros... and then it's
buhbye... I mean, nobody
really LIKES being treated by
crap, do they? I think people
just like to bitch about
things. Well, I like to bitch
and whine about things,
anyways. but you all knew that
already.



[IMG]http://eilial.50megs.com/
toocute2.jpg[/IMG

Jennitalia
10-28-2001, 07:35 PM
I agree with Too Cute.
Also, it's not that some women enjoy getting treated like crap. It has to do with them having low self esteem and not thinking they deserve any better in a relationship.

TheGameHHH
10-28-2001, 08:17 PM
Jenn, I don't really agree with what you are saying. While it is true that no woman likes being treated like crap, I don't think they allow themsleves to be treated that way due to low self-esteem. I think that it's harder for women to judge character when it comes to judging men in a relationship. See, what women do is they fantasize their perfect man in their head, and then when they meet a guy they try and compare him to their fantasy guy. If he has just one characteristic of the fantasy guy, the woman will stay with him for as long as she can because that man resembles in the dreamguy in the tinyest way. It therefore takes her longer to realize that man is not what she really wants, just a small aspect of her true ideal man. But allthewhile while she is realizing this, the man is sh*tting on her because he thinks he can get away with it.

IT'S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME-AHHH!

Jester
10-28-2001, 09:02 PM
It seems that for some woman the nicer are you the more they feel they can get away with. The same thing has happened to me like CYYYFYYY but the only difference is no one has cheated on me. Alot of times the girls complain about there boyfriends but in the end they don't mind and go back with them.

On a side note I agree with you TheGameHHH but I think another aspect you have to add is that woman feel they can change men. They do have that perfect guy mold in their heads and they want the guy they are with to fit in it.



<center> <img src="http://a9.cpimg.com/image/7B/7F/4932219-7ab2-012C0064-.jpg"> </center>

girl germs
10-29-2001, 01:58 AM
i don't think women like to be treated like crap, but instead, they are taught and socialized into accepting it, thus making it harder to leave that asshole boyfriend/husband behind.

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RF Godfather
10-29-2001, 02:52 AM
I have to agree with girl germs, she knows more than just her vagina. j/p

Women don't like being treated like crap. I don't think anyone, male or female wants to be treated in such a harsh manner except those sados. AnyWHO, it absolutely depends on your agents of socialization: family, friends, school, etc that effects how you interact with the environment around you.

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Gwen
10-29-2001, 04:22 AM
I have dated my fair
share of jerks, but usually
that doens't come out until a
while into the relationship...
and then it takes some time
for the cons of the
relationship to outweight the
pros... and then it's
buhbye...
Too Cute: You're right on the money with this. If you knew the guy was a jerk in the first place you wouldn't waste your time. Secondly, everyone has their "jerky" moments both men AND women 'cause lets face it no one's perfect, but there are certain acts that can't be tolerated and thats when its time to move on.
i don't think women like to be treated like crap, but instead, they are taught and socialized into accepting it
Germs: you are my hero for writing that. Seriously thats true. Can we have an "Ask The Girl Germs" thread in the ladies room forum?

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Thanks Rooster!
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jay d
10-29-2001, 08:08 AM
BY SAYING WOMEN DON'T LIKE BEING TREATED LIKE CRAP DON'T U THINK THAT'S GENERALIZING THINGS A LITTLE IKNEW THIS ONE CHICK WHO DROVE ME CRAZY CUASE I WOULD BE NICE AND ROMANTIC AND SHE WAS ONLY HAPPY IF WE WERE FIGHTING OR IF SHE WERE BY HERSELF AND LONELY SHE'D BE HAPPY. AS FOR SOCIETY DOING THINGS TO PEOPLE TO MAKE THEM ACT THAT WAY WE'VE ALL GOT PROBLEMS IT'S UP TO EACH PERSON AND THIER ABILITY TO ADAPT THAT MAKES THEM THAT WAY THE STRONGER YOU ARE THE LESS YOU'LL FEEL THAT WAY SORRY FOR THE CAPSITALS BUT I DON'T FEEL LIKE CORRECTING IT THIS LETTER WAS NOT WRITTEN IN ANGER IT MAY SEEM THAT WAY BUT NO

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Gvac
10-29-2001, 07:55 PM
Truth of the matter is, a vast majority of women prefer a man who is confident and decisive. Whether they care to admit it or not, most women will take a brash, bold man over a mamby pamby sensitive type any day of the week. Many men misconstrue this to mean that a woman must like a man who is cold and unfeeling towards her. Big difference.

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HordeKing1
10-30-2001, 04:26 AM
People in general like being treated with respect.

As GIRLGERMS pointed out, women are socialized to be docile and accepting and this makes it more difficult for them to leave abusive relationships.

However, there is another factor that must be considered and understood as most are unaware of the frighteningly large number of people who are affected by this.

Over 30% of girls are sexually abused. The affect this has on their psyche is unimaginable. On it's most obvious and understandable level, it destroys self-esteem, particularly when the abuser is a family member. It's compounded when they tell the other parent and are not believed.

This often leaves women in a position where they come to expect being treated like crap and that they do not deserve more than a crappy relationship.

If their boyfriend abuses them, (in any way) it's just confirming their own self-image.

The statistics are frightening. Yet, our society does nothing about it. Where is the outrage that rapists and child abusers and molesters rarely serve more than a few years? Where is the fury that these animals are not immediately put to death?

Having witnessed firsthand the effect of child abuse and rape on both men and women, I'd personally kill every one of the offenders if I could.



http://members.aol.com/rnfpantera/hking2

TooCute
10-30-2001, 10:24 AM
Just out of curiosity, HK, you
are ALWAYS coming up with
stats (eg 30% of women are
sexually abused) and I was
wondering where these were
coming from... sometimes
they're totally unbelievable
(like this one) and it'd be
nice to go get some more info
on them...




<img src="http://gvac.50megs.com/images/toocute2.jpg">

HordeKing1
10-30-2001, 01:51 PM
TOOCUTE - This particular figure sounds unbelievable and that's the problem. It's easy to summarily dismiss something that is too horrific to imagine.

I just read these particular stats from one of the many journal's I read - I don't reacall if this was from the American Psychiatric Association. Child Care Services or perhaps a sociology journal. There was also a fairly big write up about it as a repudiation of Freud's repudiation of his thoughts on incest. (I also discussed it with a professor of mine who did her doctorate on this issue.)

Stats for the prevelance of psychopathologies are reported in the DSM-IV. There you can find all sorts of interesting stuf such as the percentages of bullimics, anorexics and people with proclivites towards the sexual paraphenelia.

A quick read through of pretty much any Gender Studies article will give you the stats on rape.

A quick search of the web turned up these stats from the Child Abuse and Prevention Counsel. These figures differ slightly from those I quoted, particularly in the number of abused girls. I'm pasting the relevant stuff here:

Sexual Abuse

* More cases of child sexual abuse are never reported than are ever tried in court.

* Girls are sexually abused 3 times more often than boys.

* 1 out of every 4 girls, (My figures show one in 3), and 1 out of every 6 boys are sexually abused by the age of 18 years old.

* Victims by gender:
77% Female
13% Male

* Women sexually abused before age 18 have lower levels of interpersonal functions and social adjustments as adults and are less likely to form trusting relationships.

* More than half of the child victims of rape or sexual assault are age 11 or younger.

* For mothers who were age 15 at the time their child was born, 39% of the fathers were age 10 or older.

* Some 74% of women who had intercourse before age 14, and 60% of those who had sex before age 15, report having had sex involuntarily.

We are facing an epidemic here that is unlike that faced by any civilized country before us. This crap has always gone on. But now we all know about it. How can we let it continue?

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Dirtybird11
10-30-2001, 02:30 PM
maybe SOME women are aware that they are nuthing more than evil sluts that deserve nuthing more than a bucket full of C** spilled over em and treated like white trash-
very few women i know are like that. but there are chicks who just dont deserve to be treated with respect-
ask this chick.. 519-657-72...oh nevermind~

<IMG SRC="http://wwfallon.homestead.com/files/RFnetPNN.jpg">
wheel chair ridin' male whore

Pootertoot
10-30-2001, 02:45 PM
It's not cum bucket, Perrynoid, it's cum dumpster.

It's already been said, but self-esteem has a LOT to do with this. Just look at this board...tons of GORGEOUS women hanging out with these sewer mutants. ;P

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IrishAlkey
10-30-2001, 02:55 PM
Be confident and be a man. Don't be a dick. If you find a girl that wants you to act like a dick, get away. Not worth the ensuing problems.

Yes, there's even room for Alkey on RF.net!

TooCute
10-31-2001, 08:53 AM
Sorry HK, it's not that I find
those stats too horrific and
don't wnat to believe them or
anything like that; it's
rather that since I do not
know how the stats were
acquired (those in particular
and many others on various
subjects that you see bandied
about) that there is no way of
assessing their validity. for
example, you might might
expect that the child abuse
and prevention society (btw I
did a few quick searches and
no where am I finding any
references to primary
literature and the methods of
data acquisition) would use
potentially inflated numbers -
not necessarily fabricated but
rather numbers that were taken
by methods that might tend to
inflate results - because the
more shocking the stats that
they present are, the more
likely people will be to take
action, donate to their cause,
whatever.

I'm not saying that this is
BAD in terms of the particular
issue involved here (if you
need to fib a little to get
more people aware of child
abuse/prevention, go for it),
but simply
that it is far too often that
people are fed numbers and
they have NO CLUE what they
actually mean (and this could
also be largely attributed to
the fact that the
people/organizations who are
citing these studies/results
have NO CLUE what makes a
good/valid scientific study,
how stats should be run, etc.)

I recall a SNL weekend update
once with lines like "4 out of
5 dentists... leaves 1
denist". It was hilarious, but
maybe that's just me.

My point is, that I see far
too many people (including
professionals who should know
better, and in MANY fields of
science) who are totally
clueless (not to say that you
or anyone here is one of them)
running around wielding all
kinds of data which in truth
are COMPLETELY baseless and
stupid and are impossible to
believe were actually accepted
into a journal.

"Some surveys suggest that..."
is NOT valid evidence.

You HAVE to take ANY numbers
quoted in a forum meant for
the general populace with a
grain (or a shaker) of salt,
and even in the primary
literature must keep out a
VERY critical eye.




<img src="http://gvac.50megs.com/images/toocute2.jpg">

HordeKing1
10-31-2001, 10:50 AM
TOO CUTE - The stats are for the GENERAL POPULATION - Among those seeking psychiatric health the figures are much larger (as is expected).

You may not be aware of the statistical techniques or the metanalysis used to compile the statistics, but not having read the journals and seen the reasearch you cannot address their validity.

I wish I could tell you otherwise, but the stats are scientifcally and empiracally, gathered, compiled and reported.

(I can't verify this in terms of the stuff I found on the net, but since they agree with the genuine stats, I included them above.)

http://members.aol.com/rnfpantera/hking2

CYYYFYYY
10-31-2001, 02:22 PM
Woo Woo and all I thought I
would get from this thread
was.... You are a MO-ron
CYYYFYYY.... Love these
debates!!!


David the Franchize
Everyone Loves CYYYFYYY

TooCute
10-31-2001, 07:36 PM
You may not be aware of
the statistical techniques or
the metanalysis used to
compile the
statisticsFYI HK - I
am perfectly well aware of
stats and meta analyses; in
point of fact I'm in the
middle of preparing a meta
analysis of bivalve feeding
rates for publication as we
speak - LOL I just presented
my preliminary results in
seminar this morning :)
but not having read the
journals and seen the
reasearch you cannot address
their validity.This is
my point exactly - I have NOT
read the journals and can NOT
address their validity. I do
not know if you have ever
actually noticed this (I know
that I had no clue until I
actually started to extract
data from papers to do meta
anlyses) but the number of
papers published in
'reputable' and 'elite'
journals that do not report
sample sizes, variances, etc.
is APALLING. It is
unfortunate, but in a majority
of cases the writers,
reviewers, and readers alike
do not actually understand how
various stats work and simply
run them straight from the
textbook. Simply doing an
ANOVA and coming up with a
significant result does not
make your study valid. I need
to see how the data were
collected, what type of data
they were and how they were
analyzed before I can assess
validity.
Since I have not seen the
primary literature, I prefer
to tend to err on the
conservative side and be
skeptical until I have reason
to be otherwise, and hope that
most other people will be
aware enough to do the same.
I wish I could tell you
otherwise, but the stats are
scientifcally and empiracally,
gathered, compiled and
reported. (I can't verify
this in terms of the stuff I
found on the net, but since
they agree with the genuine
stats, I included them
above.)I wish you
could tell me otherwise, too!!
But like I said, I am not
going to trust numbers -
especially ones that seem to
vary so widely even just in
second or thirdhand summary on
the net (I came across numbers
as high as 1 in 6, just
flipping through a few
websites) without more
concrete evidence. I most
certainly am not going to
believe that the numbers
you've quoted are valid simply
because you say that they are
- especially since they seem
to be the most 'outrageous'
ones of all the ones that seem
to be thrown about. I am
probably not really in th e
best position to judge (but at
the same time I know more than
the general populace about
this) but I am extraordinarily
skeptical of studies published
in medical journals. Most of
the people who do these
studies (and I say do, not
design, because most of the
time it seems fairly evident
that there was not a large
amount of forethought given to
the specifics of a given
problem) and most of the
people that review them for
publication have never learned
how to properly design an
experiment, and have most
likely never had anything
beyond a general stats course
in graduate school. Sample
sizes are ridiculously small,
there is rarely replication
(these two are through no
fault of the experimenters;
study on humans is necessarily
difficult in this sense) and
as I've said about ten million
times in this post, stats are
often poorly applied.
Okay, I'm starting to sound
condescending and I don't mean
to; it's just that
experimental design (good
experimental design) and
analysis is a pretty important
topic to me. I know plenty of
people - grad students, post
docs, professors - who you
would hope would understand
these things, but really
don't. Ignorance is bliss, I
suppose :)


<img src="http://gvac.50megs.com/images/toocute2.jpg">

This message was edited by TooCute on 10-31-01 @ 11:58 PM

HordeKing1
11-01-2001, 01:10 PM
TOOCUTE - Firstly, I have to commend you for questioning statistics. Most people do not. That's why people accept as factual things they hear from many different sources.

Since you're familiar with metanalysis I'll assume you're familiar with the peer review process necessary before any stastical data or conclusion is published in scholarly journals.

Most stats are crap. That's the importance of peer reviewed publication.

After I finish my latest paper, I'll get an abstract for you from the world's formost expert on matters of sexual abuse of children under age 18, David Finkelhor.

Be assured however, that I too have a healthy dose of skepticism especially to what sounds like fantastical claims. That's a good thing and a quality you should continue to cultivate.

At the same time, you should not dismiss something as an "exaggeration" or "unscientific" simply because you disagree with the facts.



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TooCute
11-01-2001, 06:53 PM
I'm so glad I have your
approval LOL!!

Yes, I am perfectly aware of
what peer review is, heck, I
even have a paper published in
Science which I think is
pretty damn scholarly LOL and
I've had papers rejected from
other fairly well recognized
journals but my point was that
these 'peer's often know no
more than the people
submitting their papers. I
don't mean to say that all
papers and studies are crap -
most aren't - but there are
more than even most academics
believe. Even my advisor
didn't believe me when I told
him that of the first 15
papers I grabbed for my meta
analysis (which, btw, he
thinks is crapw but I think is
fantastic so I'm goingto do it
anyways) one of them had no
sample size, two of them
reported no measure of
variation, and more than half
of them mentioned 'mortality'
and 'survivorship' but didn't
give you the actual sample
sizes that they ran their
analyses with - who knows what
their real sample sizes were!

Okay but to sum I wasn't
dismissing your numbers, which
implies that I thought they
were ridiculous and not worth
any further consideration,
only that I'm not just going
to take your word for it that
they're valid




<img src="http://gvac.50megs.com/images/toocute2.jpg">

TooCute
11-01-2001, 07:07 PM
Oh btw back to the topic at
hand, another reason why
chicks let guys treat them
like crap? It gives drama
queens something to whine
about and makes everyone else
act that much nicer to them!




<img src="http://gvac.50megs.com/images/toocute2.jpg">

Pootertoot
11-02-2001, 07:05 AM
I'm surprised it hasn't been said before...

It's because women JUST DON'T LISTEN.

I'm going to go put on my wifebeater now and watch some NASCAR.

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CYYYFYYY
11-05-2001, 02:10 PM
This week alone 3 different
women have told me there
problems with there
boyfriends.... Only one of
them was I interested in
dating and I told all of them
that the guy was treating them
like crap and they should get
rid of them... They all
decided to give them ONE MORE
C


David the Franchize
Everyone Loves CYYYFYYY

CYYYFYYY
11-15-2001, 07:22 PM
More news on nice guys finish
last.... The last Young Lady I
saw told me I am a good egg
but not her egg......WOO
WOOO!


David the Franchize
Everyone Loves CYYYFYYY

shotgirl
11-15-2001, 08:08 PM
maybe sometimes we think
that if we just stick it out a
little longer, we can change
the relationship or change
the guy and then we won't
be treated like crap
anymore. which is just
nonsense of course, but it
does happen.


<img src=http://kidafrika.homestead.com/files/shotgirlpic.jpg>

Jennitalia
11-16-2001, 05:02 AM
shotgirl, i agree. I've had a couple of relationships where i did feel that way, even though deep down i knew it was wrong and there was nothing i could do about it. i just kept thinking "in his own way, i know he loves me" which is retarded, but part of my psychoticness ;)




"Sit on my face and tell me that you love me
I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too!"

sketchy
11-16-2001, 07:59 AM
As a layperson I cant intelligently comment on the discussion of scientific and statistical research methods, I can, from personal experience talk about some of the other topics brought up here.

My recent ex is still troubled by - as I would expect her to be - being molested by her uncle as a child. I like CYYYFYY am one of the "nice guys" one of the "lets just be friends" guys. I love to cook and I would frequently make dinner for her, breakfast in bed on sunday, buy her little things here and there flowers etc., plan weekend getaways from the city, surprise her at work at the end of the day with dinner reservations, etc. But this she says is one of the reasons we broke up. All of that made her feel terribly guilty. She has this twisted idea that she doesnt deserve to me treated like that.

Before that ex fiancee was physically and verbally abused -never sexually although just as devastating - by her father. To her fighting and negative attention seemed to be the only type of attention she recognized. She would continually pick fights she would literally crave them. There were several occasions - including one where she came at me with a butchers knife - where she would try to provoke me to become violent, but I wouldnt concede which only made her more upset. Granted make up sex is great but I couldnt take the fighting anymore and called it off. What really disturbs me is how much the verbal abuse became a normalcy for her. It didnt even bother, but on the contrary, it comforted her.

Now of course there is more to each story, intertwined with my own faults and fuck ups. But I guess my question is will the nice guy ever win?

sketchy