Meet the kid?

[Poochie]

<p><font size="2">Much to my pleasure, I went out on my first date in over a year...The guy is great, I really like him so far. I met him on MySpace, we emailed back and forth for a week, then talked on the phone for about a week. We set up our date for this past Sunday night..Well he called me last Thursday asking if I wanted to stop by after class and meet his son (I knew he had one, which is cool with me)..My question is this..Is it normal (maybe thats not the right word) to have a guy, at that point I haven't even met in person yet, ask me to come over and meet his son? Isn't that WAY too soon? Is that weird? Is that okay for the kid (he's 4)? Is this a red flag? </font></p><p><font size="2">ALSO, my other problem..the guy was with his kids mom for 6 years, up until 3 months ago..Is that bad? Rebound?</font></p><p><font size="2">As you can tell, I absolutely suck when it comes to men and dating..I need some help here!! </font></p><p><font size="2">Also...i did not meet the kid, and the date Sunday was by far the BEST i have ever been on...</font></p><p><font size="2">Any advice would help buddies....and no, peeing in&nbsp;my butt won't help.</font></p>

[Gaia]

<p>UUmmmmm you need to meet him in a public place first off. I dont think it's &quot;normal&quot; at this point to meet his son yet, but if you must, do it at a chucky cheese or something. EDIT: I didnt catch everythinthe first time because im a bit &quot;slow&quot;...I guesss since you already went on the first date, you could meet the son at home, and not at a public place.</p><p>Also, he was with this girl for 6 years, I think you need to be careful, he may still be emotionally tied, not to mention there is a child, which you know, and that means &quot;baby mamma drama&quot;. Tread lightly, take this as something that may not work, it's very difficult to be involved with someone who has all this going on. I really dont have much else to say!</p><p>Good luck, be careful, and I hope this works out for you!!!!!!</p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by Gaia on 12-13-06 @ 11:59 AM</span>

[UnknownPD]

<font size="2">A lot of people on mysapce, match.com etc count the pre-meeting emailing and phone calls as dating. I think that's a little wierd. Too much too soon.</font>

[Furtherman]

He's been single for 3 months?&nbsp; I'd be REAL careful of that one.

[angelinad128]

<p>Way to early to meet his son if you haven't even met each other yet.</p><p>Being that he has only been single 3 months makes me a little uncomfortable. The ex may still be around. Plus Psychologists say you should actually take 1 year to be by yourself after a break up, basically to know yourseslf again and get strong again.&nbsp; I would feel better for you if he was at least 6 months single.</p><p>But meet each other first!!&nbsp; Kinda creepy to introduce you to the kid so soon.</p>

[PapaBear]

<p>Psychologists say you should actually take 1 year to be by yourself after a break up</p><p>I agree with that. After my&nbsp;2nd divorce, I went through a string of relationships for a couple of years. It messed me up so bad, I haven't even tried to have another one for 3 years, now.</p>

[Poochie]

<strong>PapaBear</strong> wrote:<br />Psychologists say you should actually take 1 year to be by yourself after a break up <p>I agree with that. After my&nbsp;2nd divorce, I went through a string of relationships for a couple of years. It messed me up so bad, I haven't even tried to have another one for 3 years, now.</p><p>Sorry Papa...you always have me <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smile.gif" border="0" width="15" height="15" /> </p><p>His ex cheated on him..does this speed up recovery time? Does this cause trust issues? </p><p>Like I said I am really terrible at dating... and relationships for that matter. I have been in 2 serious relationships with men that could not have been more horrible.</p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by Poochie on 12-14-06 @ 4:40 AM</span>

[sr71blackbird]

Like the others have said, and you yourself have wondered, I agree that this is very much too soon and this is a very big warning flag.&nbsp; Sorry, but be extremely cautious, and please dont give your heart too quickly to avoid pain, sweety!

[Poochie]

<strong>sr71blackbird</strong> wrote:<br />Like the others have said, and you yourself have wondered, I agree that this is very much too soon and this is a very big warning flag.&nbsp; Sorry, but be extremely cautious, and please dont give your heart too quickly to avoid pain, sweety! <p>you're right..i think since this is the first good guy I have met in well over a year, i am getting my hopes up too soon with the hopes that these blatant red flags will turn into pretty pink ones i could learn to deal with..blah blah, i don't know.</p>

[PapaBear]

<strong>Poochie</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>PapaBear</strong> wrote:<br />Psychologists say you should actually take 1 year to be by yourself after a break up <p>I agree with that. After my&nbsp;2nd divorce, I went through a string of relationships for a couple of years. It messed me up so bad, I haven't even tried to have another one for 3 years, now.</p><p>Sorry Papa...you always have me <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smile.gif" border="0" width="15" height="15" /> </p><p><strong>His ex cheated on him..does this speed up recovery time? Does this cause trust issues?</strong> </p><p>Like I said I am really terrible at dating... and relationships for that matter. I have been in 2 serious relationships with men that could not have been more horrible.</p><span class="post_edited">This message was edited by Poochie on 12-14-06 @ 4:40 AM</span> <p>It actually slows down the recovery (at least in my case and others I know). There's also the trust thing, but a lot of people have that problem, whether they were cheated on, or not. And... It's good to know I'll always have you to bend over on command, Poochie!<img src="/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/devil2.gif" border="0" width="25" height="23" /></p>

[AKA]

<p>Odds are this whole thing is really weirding him out too - sounds like he identifys himself as a father first above even just being a man, or a boyfriend, and if it's only been 3 months he's still a bit shell shocked. Tread lightly!</p>