View Full Version : The Ex Relationship
<p>Let me preface this by saying I don't really believe in maintaining friendships with Exs...it just complicates things too much, because one person or another usually has linger or unresolved feelings. </p><p>That said, one of my ex-girlfriends works at a store near my house. Now, we broke up a little over two years ago. I go in there maybe twice a month or so, when I need to pick stuff up and usually she is working there. </p><p>I know she sees me everytime. Yet she makes a habit to more or less runaway, or pretend she's doing something else, or basically anythng to avoid any sort of contact with me, or to even give off the impression she realizes I'm there. </p><p>Like I said, I don't believe in the whole Ex-friendship gimmick, but I would say hi to her and make some small talk with her in that type of situation. </p><p>I guess what I'm saying is, is the reaction she has to me normal? It doesn't seem so to me. </p><p> </p><p>And for the record, she broke up with me...and no, it wasn't because of something I did...it was pretty amicable actually. </p>
<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by K.C. on 12-19-06 @ 9:38 PM</span>
Tall_James
12-19-2006, 05:43 PM
Some people don't want to be reminded of their past, be it good or bad. They just want to move on with their life. What you may want, she may not so don't force it.
sr71blackbird
12-19-2006, 05:43 PM
Sounds like she still has lingering feelings and is hiding because she got hurt and wishes to avoid getting hurt again. Id find a new store.
<strong>Tall_James</strong> wrote:<br />Some people don't want to be reminded of their past, be it good or bad. They just want to move on with their life. What you may want, she may not so don't force it. <p>That's why I don't force it. I just don't understand how people can't act like adults in a situation. It's not like I'm going to run up to her and say "hey, remember the time..." Basically it'd just be, "Hey, how's it going...etc..."</p><p> </p><p>Sounds like she still has lingering feelings and is hiding because she got hurt and wishes to avoid getting hurt again. Id find a new store. </p><p>See, I don't get that. She broke up with me. We talked it through and it was a pretty nice breakup, actually. I don't know how she could be still be dwelling on it, unless it's a regret type of thing. </p>
sr71blackbird
12-19-2006, 05:51 PM
<strong>K.C.</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>Tall_James</strong> wrote:<br />Some people don't want to be reminded of their past, be it good or bad. They just want to move on with their life. What you may want, she may not so don't force it. <p>That's why I don't force it. I just don't understand how people can't act like adults in a situation. It's not like I'm going to run up to her and say "hey, remember the time..." Basically it'd just be, "Hey, how's it going...etc..."</p><p> </p>Sounds like she still has lingering feelings and is hiding because she got hurt and wishes to avoid getting hurt again. Id find a new store. <p><strong>See, I don't get that. She broke up with me. We talked it through and it was a pretty nice breakup, actually. I don't know how she could be still be dwelling on it, unless it's a regret type of thing. </strong></p><p>But why her reaction then? It doesnt make sence, unless shes with a guy in this store..</p>
ShelleBink
12-19-2006, 05:53 PM
i've gotten to be friends with a lot of my exes... its kind of amusing to me in a way. it doesn't bother me, and to the ones who have found new girlfriends, i'm always happy for them. i dont like hating people or being hated. too much effort.
<strong>sr71blackbird</strong> wrote:<br /><p>But why her reaction then? It doesnt make sence, unless shes with a guy in this store..</p><p>That's what I'm trying to figure out. Her seeing someone else who's also there, and feeling uncomfortable about it, may explain it, but I don't get why she'd act upset to the point where like if I have something to check out, and she's the only register open, she'll run away from the register.</p><p>And the odd thing is, my mom and sister go to the same place, and she'll talk to both of them, yet she won't acknowledge I exist. </p><p>I can see if I did something to her, or I broke up with her, or it ended badly...any of those things as explaining it, but none of those things happened. </p><p>It's just way too weird for me. I wouldn't go there anymore, but it's one of the few places that are open late when I need to get stuff. </p>
MadMatt
12-19-2006, 05:58 PM
<p>Sometimes it just doesn't make sense. Even though you are OK with everything, she is obviously uncomfortable about something. Reason and logic don't necessarily play into it, even if the breakup was mutual or friendly.</p><p>I would stick to a simple acknowledgement of "hi" if you see her. Don't ask how she is doing or try for any conversation - don't be a dick and ignore her, but don't go "out of your way" to be nice to her either. </p><p>There are times when all you can do is go with the flow.</p>
<strong>ShelleBink</strong> wrote:<br />i've gotten to be friends with a lot of my exes... its kind of amusing to me in a way. it doesn't bother me, and to the ones who have found new girlfriends, i'm always happy for them. i dont like hating people or being hated. too much effort. <p>Yeah, I don't hold any ill will towards any of mine or anything like that. I'm pretty friendly with everyone in general.</p><p>My only thing about trying to not keep Exs as friends is I've seen too many times where friends of mine will remain friends with theirs, and then they'll slowly get roped back into the relationship and the breakup the second time around is so much worse. </p>
<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by K.C. on 12-19-06 @ 9:59 PM</span>
GonzoStyle
12-19-2006, 07:09 PM
I'm not friends with any one of my ex's, especially the ones I broke up with in AIM and then blocked them.
Ritalin
12-19-2006, 08:12 PM
<p>Dude, now is the perfect time to bang her that one last time. She's going to be really mad with you afterwards, but so what? It will be the best lay you ever got out of her. </p><p><>Pretend that you're really angry while you're doing it. Like grunt with every thrust "You fucking cunt". </p><p><>And, then switch it up, and say with each thrust "fuck, I love you"</p><p>(I know, it's bad to use the word love when you don't mean it, except this one time. Trust me)</p><p><> If you know that she's still on the pill, cum hard inside her. Otherwise, cum on a pillow. </p><p><><> Then, leave. Be like "Oh my God, I can't believe we just did that! I'm so confused. I have to think about this" and then leave. </p><p> </p><p><>But, stupid, she didn't take her pill, and you knocked her up, and now you're the baby daddy, chump.</p><p> </p><p><>Good luck, Pickles. </p>
<strong>Ritalin</strong> wrote:<br /><p>Dude, now is the perfect time to bang her that one last time. She's going to be really mad with you afterwards, but so what? It will be the best lay you ever got out of her. </p><p><>Pretend that you're really angry while you're doing it. Like grunt with every thrust "You fucking cunt". </p><p><>And, then switch it up, and say with each thrust "fuck, I love you"</p><p>(I know, it's bad to use the word love when you don't mean it, except this one time. Trust me)</p><p><> If you know that she's still on the pill, cum hard inside her. Otherwise, cum on a pillow. </p><p><><> Then, leave. Be like "Oh my God, I can't believe we just did that! I'm so confused. I have to think about this" and then leave. </p><p> </p><p><>But, stupid, she didn't take her pill, and you knocked her up, and now you're the baby daddy, chump.</p><p> </p><p><>Good luck, Pickles. </p><p>As intriguing as that would be, this chick was pretty uptight...and plus I really have no interest in her anymore. </p><p>Plus, I've got a few other angles I'm trying to work at the moment. </p><p>I think the lack of acknowledgment just bothers me a little...it just seems all way too childish.</p><p>I see people I don't necessarily want to see all the time, but to consistently go out of your way to avoid any type of contact with the person like she's doing with me that...that's calculated, and I have to think it's fueled by some type of resentment, I just can't figure out what or how. </p><p>Maybe she just really hates me...or maybe felt the need to convince herself she hates me as some sort of mechanism of moving forward. </p>
<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by K.C. on 12-20-06 @ 12:32 AM</span>
angelinad128
12-20-2006, 05:59 AM
<p>If she is avoiding you then what's the problem. She is doing that so she doesn't have to talk to you. Are you the one with lingering feelings? Seems to me youare since you want to be acknowledged so you can talk with her.</p><p>Just go in get what you need and anf get out like she's just someone who works there and you don't know. </p>
<strong>angelinad128</strong> wrote:<br /><p>If she is avoiding you then what's the problem. She is doing that so she doesn't have to talk to you. Are you the one with lingering feelings? Seems to me youare since you want to be acknowledged so you can talk with her.</p><p>Just go in get what you need and anf get out like she's just someone who works there and you don't know. </p><p>I don't think it sounds like he has lingering feelings...he's just confused as to why people that once were pretty close, can't be adults and give the occasional "Hi, how are ya?" I have to agree that seems so weird to me too.</p><p> Like someone else said, you just gotta go with the flow. You've tried to be nice and say hi, for whatever reason she doesn't want any part of knowing you anymore, so fuck it! But it's also kinda crazy that she still will talk to your family when they come in....sounds like she's got some issues with something...and you'll most likely never find out, which makes it all the more intriguing to find out lol....</p>
angelinad128
12-20-2006, 07:18 AM
<strong>MM2</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>angelinad128</strong> wrote:<br /><p>If she is avoiding you then what's the problem. She is doing that so she doesn't have to talk to you. Are you the one with lingering feelings? Seems to me youare since you want to be acknowledged so you can talk with her.</p><p>Just go in get what you need and anf get out like she's just someone who works there and you don't know. </p><p>I don't think it sounds like he has lingering feelings...he's just confused as to why people that once were pretty close, can't be adults and give the occasional "Hi, how are ya?" I have to agree that seems so weird to me too.</p><p> Like someone else said, you just gotta go with the flow. You've tried to be nice and say hi, for whatever reason she doesn't want any part of knowing you anymore, so fuck it! But it's also kinda crazy that she still will talk to your family when they come in....sounds like she's got some issues with something...and you'll most likely never find out, which makes it all the more intriguing to find out lol....</p><p>It just seems from what I can understand is that he is looking for a reactions from her. Knowing that she won't give him one should be the answer that it's "normal" for her. Most people, years later won't be like that. You will get at least a nod and a hello.</p>
<strong>angelinad128</strong> wrote: <p>It just seems from what I can understand is that he is looking for a reactions from her. Knowing that she won't give him one should be the answer that it's "normal" for her. Most people, years later won't be like that. You will get at least a nod and a hello.</p><p>No, I don't have lingering feelings for this chick. The only reason I even noticed it is because she works at a store that I go to. </p><p>And it's like, if she's working at the service counter, and I have to go up there for some reason, she'll walk away from the counter and just leave me standing there until someone else finally comes over to help me out. </p><p>As far as the time frame, we broke up over two years ago. I've a seen chicks since...and I'm pretty sure she's gone out with at least one guy since. </p><p>So it just makes no sense to me, and I think that's why I'm so interested in this reaction I'm getting. </p><p>I mean, is this how people normally react, like she does? </p><p> </p>
<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by K.C. on 12-20-06 @ 11:34 AM</span>
<strong>angelinad128</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>MM2</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>angelinad128</strong> wrote:<br /><p>If she is avoiding you then what's the problem. She is doing that so she doesn't have to talk to you. Are you the one with lingering feelings? Seems to me youare since you want to be acknowledged so you can talk with her.</p><p>Just go in get what you need and anf get out like she's just someone who works there and you don't know. </p><p>I don't think it sounds like he has lingering feelings...he's just confused as to why people that once were pretty close, can't be adults and give the occasional "Hi, how are ya?" I have to agree that seems so weird to me too.</p><p> Like someone else said, you just gotta go with the flow. You've tried to be nice and say hi, for whatever reason she doesn't want any part of knowing you anymore, so fuck it! But it's also kinda crazy that she still will talk to your family when they come in....sounds like she's got some issues with something...and you'll most likely never find out, which makes it all the more intriguing to find out lol....</p><p>It just seems from what I can understand is that he is looking for a reactions from her. Knowing that she won't give him one should be the answer that it's "normal" for her. Most people, years later won't be like that. You will get at least a nod and a hello.</p><p>Oh, well I get the opposite vibe from his story. It sounds like he would be alright if she paid him no attention, at that point he would see that she just doesn't care. But he actually is getting a reaction from her, as she will noticably avoid him at every cost. Like you can tell if someone is avoiding you or if they just don't notice you, you know? And normally you would get a nod, or a hi, even a fake hi, but he's just confused as to why she can't be an adult and just say hello, or even just totally ignore him, if it were either of those he'd be able to understand what the deal is. And what makes it even odder is that from what he said, it sounds like she chose to end things, just doesn't make a whole lot of sense. But what relationships that end ever do?</p>
<strong>MM2</strong> wrote:<br />Oh, well I get the opposite vibe from his story. It sounds like he would be alright if she paid him no attention, at that point he would see that she just doesn't care. But he actually is getting a reaction from her, as she will noticably avoid him at every cost. Like you can tell if someone is avoiding you or if they just don't notice you, you know? And normally you would get a nod, or a hi, even a fake hi, but he's just confused as to why she can't be an adult and just say hello, or even just totally ignore him, if it were either of those he'd be able to understand what the deal is. And what makes it even odder is that from what he said, it sounds like she chose to end things, just doesn't make a whole lot of sense. But what relationships that end ever do?<p>Exactly.</p>
angelinad128
12-20-2006, 07:39 AM
<strong>K.C.</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>angelinad128</strong> wrote: <p>It just seems from what I can understand is that he is looking for a reactions from her. Knowing that she won't give him one should be the answer that it's "normal" for her. Most people, years later won't be like that. You will get at least a nod and a hello.</p><p>No, I don't have lingering feelings for this chick. The only reason I even noticed it is because she works at a store that I go to. </p><p>And it's like, if she's working at the service counter, and I have to go up there for some reason, she'll walk away from the counter and just leave me standing there until someone else finally comes over to help me out. </p><p>As far as the time frame, we broke up over two years ago. I've a seen chicks since...and I'm pretty sure she's gone out with at least one guy since. </p><p>So it just makes no sense to me, and I think that's why I'm so interested in this reaction I'm getting. </p><p>I mean, is this how people normally react, like she does? </p><p> </p><span class="post_edited">This message was edited by K.C. on 12-20-06 @ 11:34 AM</span> <p>I would have to say no. She was theone who broke up with you right? Then she should have no problem saying hi or doing her job. Maybe she thinks that if she in helping you you will bring up the past, which I'm sure you wouldn't.</p>
IamFogHat
12-20-2006, 07:43 AM
This could be about a million things, but in all honesty it's very juvinile of her to behave that way, especially after so much time has past.
angrymissy
12-20-2006, 07:44 AM
That is probably the way I would act. I don't stay friends with exes (all it does it incite drama), and if I saw someone I broke up with, I would avoid having to see/talk to them at all costs, because to me, it would be horribly akward to have to speak to them. Then again I have all sorts of quirky social phobias.
reeshy
12-20-2006, 07:59 AM
<p>I still bang my first wife an a regular basis....what a maroon she is!!!!!!!!!!!!</p>
DJEvelEd
12-20-2006, 11:32 AM
<p>Next time you see her, ask her if she is going to run away when you walk to the counter. Tell her you have a girlfriend and she doesn't need to act this way, (and you dont need to spend the whole night at the damn store because some C*** has issues). Go to her boss if you have to because you have a life, and life's too short to wait at a fuckin customer service counter. You happen to be a customer in her store and the customer is always right. </p><p>But that's just me....</p>
ralphbxny
12-20-2006, 01:01 PM
I recently ran into an ex I had not seen since college and I was an asshole too before we broke up. She was actually nice and pleasant.She actually looked better now then she did then. We spoke hung out caught up and parted ways amicably. No exchange of numbers cause that stage has passed. It was kind of cool.
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