Need Relationship Advice (again)

[dereckfishboy]

<p>My girlfriend says she's no longer sexually attracted to me, and hasn't been since even before the baby has been born. She's finally becoming filled with sexual desire for the first time in almost a year, and she says she still has no desire to have sex with me. This has her feeling like the relationship is already over, and that I'm more of a friend than a boyfriend. Here's a little background. She's a social girl. She loves to talk (all day long) and as a saleswoman, it's even been her career since she was a teenager. Right around the second trimester of her pregancy, complications became severe enough that she essentially became housebound for the remainder of the pregnacy. She didn't little else but go to work, and even then, came home or called in an awful lot. Towards the end of the pregnancy, she was even put on bedrest. Since the baby has been born, it's not gotten much easier. While she is a healthy and happy baby and a joy to be around, she has been sick for several months (which pretty much amounts to half her life) and still is not sleeping through the night. On top of that, there was an incident months back in which she was talking to people on the internet and preemptivly lying to me about it before I even thought to question it. Rather than assume I had no problems with it, she assumed me to disaprove of her talking to, meeting, and hanging out with guys she met on the internet. The lies wound up creating distrust, and I began becoming more and more suspicious. Started question her more and confronting her when I caught her in a lie. I theorize that my controlling behavior that resulted from being hurt on betrayed by multiple deceptions led to her feeling as if she can't hang out with other people without me being jealous. I am currently trying as hard as possible to be understanding and convince her that my jealousy and suspiscion was sparked by the lying and deliberatly keeping things from me and that deep down, that's not who I am. <br /><br />I guess where this is all leading is that I'm clinging to the hope that the reason why she's no longer sexually attracted to me is because she is a normally social person who has had next to no social relationships outside of me and her best friend, and that the resulting &quot;Dereck Overdose&quot; creates far too much comfort and destroys sexual tension. I'm hoping, for the life of me, that if I do what I can to watch the kids and give her time to develop friendships and be socially active, that I wont be such a constant in her life any more. Also, seeing as I'm in the same boat, she seems to think it'd help if I became socially active again. I'm kind of anti-social, but I always at least had friends and spent time with them, which really hasn't happened at all since my daughter has been born.</p><p>If there is anyone out there who has read all this and can relate in any way or offer me any advice whatsover, please speak up. I know there are plenty of parents on this born, as well as people who are in sustained long-term relationships, so if anyone can help, I'm eager to hear what you have to say. I never had such deep, unconditional love for anyone before, and reviving our relationship (that was only a few months young when I knocked her up) means more to me than anything else right now. </p><p>Does my assesment of what I think might be the cause of the sexual stagnation of relationship make sense, or am I just rationalizing at this point? </p>

[Don Stugots]

WOW, man, i feel so bad for you.&nbsp; i cant even think about how to give you advise on this.&nbsp; i am sorry you are going through this, i really am.&nbsp;

[Snacks]

<p>Sorry to hear that. Its a fucked up thing to go through, but these things happen. Good luck in whatever happens, just know if she feels this way and has told you that means she probably told you b/c she wants it over and doesnt want to fix it. Maybe she was trying to give you hints, but if you didnt get he hints she felt it was time to just be blunt.</p><p>I know its hard and I feel like an ass even writing it too you. I dont mean to put fuel to the flame, just know you will be hirting at first, things get better. Just be there for your child and things will eventually work out!</p>

[KC2OSO]

Wow, you are a man of words.&nbsp; Lots of them.&nbsp; Most of the time there's no need for them.&nbsp; Shhhh...

[dereckfishboy]

<strong>KC2OSO</strong> wrote:<br />Wow, you are a man of words. Lots of them. Most of the time there's no need for them. Shhhh...<p>&nbsp;</p><p>Merry Christmas to you too, bud&nbsp;</p>

[spoon]

<p>I'm with Stu in that this is a tough situation you have.&nbsp; However, it sounds to me that she's not taking having this kid with you seriously and she has a lot of growing up to do.&nbsp; If not for you, I'd feel sorry for the little girl, as you at least sound like you want to do right by her.&nbsp; There doesn't seem to me that you can do much more than be a good father, but I surely wouldn't bow down to her &quot;social&quot; needs.&nbsp; Everyone has friends and needs to work to get by and that's normal, but the behavior you speak of sounds trivial and childish, almost as if she's blaming you for her quick intro into adult life.&nbsp; Like it or not she's a mother now and has to roll with it and adjust or she'll fuck up the relationship and worse yet, the life of your child.&nbsp; How can the love/lust/? be gone in less then a few years?&nbsp; I doubt she's being totally honest with her remarks and I don't think you should allow her to mess with your relationship under the guise of social activity.&nbsp; I'd let her know that you just had a kid together and you owe it to her and each other to be adults about it and try to make it work.&nbsp; If there is truly love lost bt you both then at least be civil and raise a great kid based on the love you once had.&nbsp; </p>

[DJEvelEd]

<p>I would try to get custody of&nbsp;my child if I were you. She is immature and she is eventually going to squeeze you for support money, maybe even&nbsp;while living with someone else down the road! I would contact a lawyer and find how to protect yourself. I wouldn't put up with that shit and I would be proactive NOW and Cover Your Ass! There's nothing worse than having to pay money out of your pocket and the money goes to her&nbsp;to spend on a&nbsp;new boyfriend. Fuck that shit! She is treating you like a dog and no man should be disrespected like that! I&nbsp;hear about&nbsp;shit like this all the time and it sickens me how some women act towards their baby daddys. Awful! I'm sorry to hear this.</p><p>Your lawyer will tell you how to get the most out of this,&nbsp;but keep good records. Anything you have on her will help you to keep your child.</p><p>Unless you don't want the baby, then that's different.</p><p>Whatever is is, good luck...and remember to C.Y.A.</p>

[spoon]

<p>As you can see Ed and I agree on a lot of things and he adds some great tips.&nbsp; I wouldn't let her know that you're covering your ass and prepping for a fall-out she seems all to sure of.&nbsp; Definately don't use it as leverage or anything too bc that would backfire pretty bad too.&nbsp; Bottom line is that ED is right as this happens to a ton of guys these days and it sounds like you do care.&nbsp; It may work out in the end as we can't know all the factors here, but a safety net never hurts.&nbsp; Good luck kid.</p>

[d-rock]

i've been on both sides of the &quot;not sexually attracted&quot; argument before, and it's always been about something much deeper than sexual attraction.&nbsp; and, i obviously can't be sure because i don't know you two, but i doubt that it has anything to do with her being a previously social person.&nbsp; if this a relationship you really want to keep intact for yourself, then you have to call her on it and get to the bottom of what really is wrong in her mind.&nbsp; now, i know that having a child makes this much more complicated, but you first have to see if this relationship is going to be worth salvaging for you.&nbsp; if the answer is no, then definatly contact a laywer, etc, to cover your ass and be there for your daugther.&nbsp; i really hope that everything works out for you buddy.&nbsp;

[angelinad128]

<p>Where to start...</p><p>I remember well when you thought she was cheating as well as you should be thinking that since she was being secretive and in general &quot;hiding&quot; things from you.&nbsp; How long have you to been together? And how old is she?</p><p>If you are her real first or even second boyfriend, she is confused. She reminds me of someone who was very close to me and trust me, she will find out very soon enough she lost something great.</p><p>If she is as social as you say she is, please try to convice her that your daughter should be wih the better parent, you.</p><p>She really does need to grow up.</p>

[dereckfishboy]

<strong>angelinad128</strong> wrote:<br /><p>Where to start...</p><p>I remember well when you thought she was cheating as well as you should be thinking that since she was being secretive and in general &quot;hiding&quot; things from you. How long have you to been together? And how old is she?</p><p>If you are her real first or even second boyfriend, she is confused. She reminds me of someone who was very close to me and trust me, she will find out very soon enough she lost something great.</p><p>If she is as social as you say she is, please try to convice her that your daughter should be wih the better parent, you.</p><p>She really does need to grow up.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>She's 27. We've been together since May of '05. She became pregnant roughly 2 1/2 months into the relationship. She knows she's going to lose something great, she's said it time and time again. She even tells her friends and family that I'm perfect for her and she's fucking it up. Her longest relationships has been 2 1/2 years, and that was the father of her son. I think she has issues with commitment. Like, she feels like she's expected to act and behave a certain way so she hides shit so that I wont be mad at her regardless of knowing whether I'd actually be mad or not. If we do split I'm, I'm going to take Ed's advice and fight for custody, although I'm sure she'll fight tooth and nail. </p><p><br />She's a rebelious girl who never fully grew out of her punk days, and she's still defiant towards anyone that expects anything from her other than what she wants to do. If I tell her I don't like that she smokes, she'll start smoking twice as much out of spite. It's the most difficult and frustrating thing in the world, but it's also part of what I fell in love with (or maybe I just fall for crazy girls, who knows).</p><p>Fuck.&nbsp; </p>

[Stankfoot]

<p>&nbsp;</p><p>It might just be that she's not sexually attracted to you because she associates having sex with you to having a baby. And since that was such a difficult experience, its a turnoff. This is not uncommon and usually temporary ....&nbsp;</p>

[angelinad128]

<strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>angelinad128</strong> wrote:<br /><p>Where to start...</p><p>I remember well when you thought she was cheating as well as you should be thinking that since she was being secretive and in general &quot;hiding&quot; things from you. How long have you to been together? And how old is she?</p><p>If you are her real first or even second boyfriend, she is confused. She reminds me of someone who was very close to me and trust me, she will find out very soon enough she lost something great.</p><p>If she is as social as you say she is, please try to convice her that your daughter should be wih the better parent, you.</p><p>She really does need to grow up.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>She's 27. We've been together since May of '05. <font style="background-color: #ffff00">She became pregnant roughly 2 1/2 months into the relationship.</font> She knows she's going to lose something great, she's said it time and time again. She even tells her friends and family that I'm perfect for her and she's fucking it up. Her longest relationships has been 2 1/2 years, and that was the father of her son. I think she has issues with commitment. Like, she feels like she's expected to act and behave a certain way so she hides shit so that I wont be mad at her regardless of knowing whether I'd actually be mad or not. If we do split I'm, I'm going to take Ed's advice and fight for custody, although I'm sure she'll fight tooth and nail. </p><p><br />She's a rebelious girl who never fully grew out of her punk days, and she's still defiant towards anyone that expects anything from her other than what she wants to do. If I tell her I don't like that she smokes, she'll start smoking twice as much out of spite. It's the most difficult and frustrating thing in the world, but it's also part of what I fell in love with (or maybe I just fall for crazy girls, who knows).</p><p>Fuck.&nbsp; </p><p>Sorry to tell you this but this is where the problem starts.&nbsp; Way to early into the relationship to get started. </p><p>If she knows she fucking up, then let her know what you said, about her &quot;thinking&quot; that now she needs to act a certain way is not true. You understand her being a rebel and that it's ok. Maybe that will make her feel more comfortable?</p>

[dereckfishboy]

<strong>d-rock</strong> wrote:<br />i've been on both sides of the &quot;not sexually attracted&quot; argument before, and it's always been about something much deeper than sexual attraction. and, i obviously can't be sure because i don't know you two, but i doubt that it has anything to do with her being a previously social person. if this a relationship you really want to keep intact for yourself, then you have to call her on it and get to the bottom of what really is wrong in her mind. now, i know that having a child makes this much more complicated, but you first have to see if this relationship is going to be worth salvaging for you. if the answer is no, then definatly contact a laywer, etc, to cover your ass and be there for your daugther. i really hope that everything works out for you buddy. <p>&nbsp;<br />You're dead on. The lack of sexual attraction isn't the problem, it's a symptom of the problem. Just wish I could figure out what the actual problem is. </p>

[dereckfishboy]

<strong>angelinad128</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>angelinad128</strong> wrote:<br />She really does need to grow up.<br /><p><font style="background-color: #ffff00">She became pregnant roughly 2 1/2 months into the relationship.</font> </p><p>Sorry to tell you this but this is where the problem starts. Way to early into the relationship to get started. </p><p>If she knows she fucking up, then let her know what you said, about her &quot;thinking&quot; that now she needs to act a certain way is not true. You understand her being a rebel and that it's ok. Maybe that will make her feel more comfortable?</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>I hope so. So far it doesn't work. Maybe it's association with past boyfriends, but she just can't seem to get past feeling like she has to act of be a certain way no matter how much I reincforce that it's okay. I keep telling her, if something bothers me, just keep doing it anyways and I'll get over it. For example, she keeps telling me she's going to quit smoking, but she never does. I first it pissed me off, especially since we were supposed to quit together and I wound up quitting solo. Does that mean I'll be pissed at her the rest of her life if she doesn't quit smoking? Of course not. But <em>somewhere</em> in her that's what she thinks, and it's fucking stupid.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p> She's mentioned before me moving out and us just dating again. Back when we were just dating, she did what she want and didn't feel the need to please me or conform to my needs. Once the kid came and moved in together, that changed. Maybe I can try to help her feel like she can live her life how she wants and prove to her I wont judge, and maybe just maybe she'll be happy again. <br /><br />I reiterate, Fuck. </p>

[dereckfishboy]

<strong>Stankfoot</strong> wrote:<br /><p>&nbsp;</p><p>It might just be that she's not sexually attracted to you because she associates having sex with you to having a baby. And since that was such a difficult experience, its a turnoff. This is not uncommon and usually temporary .... </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>I thought that for a while, I really did. Thought the passage of time would take care of that. Our daughter's almost seven months old, now, though, so I think the problems are more deep-rooted than that.&nbsp;</p>

[dereckfishboy]

By the way, you guys rock for helping me vent like this.

[Don Stugots]

<strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>Stankfoot</strong> wrote:<br /><p>&nbsp;</p><p><font size="2"><strong>It might just be that she's not sexually attracted to you because she associates having sex with you to having a baby. And since that was such a difficult experience, its a turnoff. This is not uncommon and usually temporary ....</strong></font> </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>I thought that for a while, I really did. Thought the passage of time would take care of that. Our daughter's almost seven months old, now, though, so I think the problems are more deep-rooted than that. </p><p>&nbsp;not always true.&nbsp; after my sister's first kid, she hated her husband.&nbsp; they fought over everything and then one day i talked to him about stuff (he is like my brother and talk about everything) and he told me that him and my sister sleep in different rooms because he now finds him disgusting.&nbsp; i told him to take her on a getaway.&nbsp; they went on a 2nd honeymoon and she came back pregnant with my second nephew.&nbsp; things went right back to the way they were with them sleeping in different rooms.&nbsp; my sister now thinks of this as normal and is disgusted by him, sexually.&nbsp; it doenst always pass sorry to say. &nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>relations are hard, having a kid or even a pet changes things alot.&nbsp; more than you realize until after you are knee deep into it. &nbsp;&nbsp;</p>

[dereckfishboy]

<strong>Don Stugots</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>Stankfoot</strong> wrote:<br /><p>&nbsp;</p><p><font size="2"><strong>It might just be that she's not sexually attracted to you because she associates having sex with you to having a baby. And since that was such a difficult experience, its a turnoff. This is not uncommon and usually temporary ....</strong></font> </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>I thought that for a while, I really did. Thought the passage of time would take care of that. Our daughter's almost seven months old, now, though, so I think the problems are more deep-rooted than that. </p><p>&nbsp;not always true.&nbsp; after my sister's first kid, she hated her husband.&nbsp; they fought over everything and then one day i talked to him about stuff (he is like my brother and talk about everything) and he told me that him and my sister sleep in different rooms because he now finds him disgusting.&nbsp; i told him to take her on a getaway.&nbsp; they went on a 2nd honeymoon and she came back pregnant with my second nephew.&nbsp; things went right back to the way they were with them sleeping in different rooms.&nbsp; my sister now thinks of this as normal and is disgusted by him, sexually.&nbsp; it doenst always pass sorry to say. &nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>relations are hard, having a kid or even a pet changes things alot.&nbsp; more than you realize until after you are knee deep into it. &nbsp;&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>But I'm sexy.....</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[ShelleBink]

<strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>angelinad128</strong> wrote:<br /><p>Where to start...</p><p>I remember well when you thought she was cheating as well as you should be thinking that since she was being secretive and in general &quot;hiding&quot; things from you. How long have you to been together? And how old is she?</p><p>If you are her real first or even second boyfriend, she is confused. She reminds me of someone who was very close to me and trust me, she will find out very soon enough she lost something great.</p><p>If she is as social as you say she is, please try to convice her that your daughter should be wih the better parent, you.</p><p>She really does need to grow up.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>She's 27. We've been together since May of '05. She became pregnant roughly 2 1/2 months into the relationship. She knows she's going to lose something great, she's said it time and time again. She even tells her friends and family that I'm perfect for her and she's fucking it up. Her longest relationships has been 2 1/2 years, and that was the father of her son. I think she has issues with commitment. Like, she feels like she's expected to act and behave a certain way so she hides shit so that I wont be mad at her regardless of knowing whether I'd actually be mad or not. If we do split I'm, I'm going to take Ed's advice and fight for custody, although I'm sure she'll fight tooth and nail. </p><p><br />She's a rebelious girl who never fully grew out of her punk days, and she's still defiant towards anyone that expects anything from her other than what she wants to do. If I tell her I don't like that she smokes, she'll start smoking twice as much out of spite. It's the most difficult and frustrating thing in the world, but it's also part of what I fell in love with (or maybe I just fall for crazy girls, who knows).</p><p>Fuck.&nbsp; </p><p>Your description of her in the 2nd paragraph fit me to a T.&nbsp; It is a matter of her growing up ((something I'm still working on)).&nbsp; She is the mother of your child, and I can tell in how you talk about your daughter you love her like crazy.&nbsp; I don't know what advice to offer, but for what its worth, do all you can to at least have a friendship with your girlfriend.&nbsp; Hopefully she'll realize she's got to grow up not only for her sake, for for the sake of her kids.&nbsp; But there's really no method in having someone &quot;grow up&quot; ... they just kinda have to do it on their own terms... I know I did.</p>

[dereckfishboy]

<strong>ShelleBink</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>angelinad128</strong> wrote:<br /><p>She really does need to grow up.</p><p>She's a rebelious girl who never fully grew out of her punk days, and she's still defiant towards anyone that expects anything from her other than what she wants to do. </p><p>Your description of her in the 2nd paragraph fit me to a T.&nbsp; </p><p>Well goddamnit,&nbsp;you're supposed to have an ideal to rebel against,&nbsp;not just whatever chafes you today!&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[WhistlePig]

I agree with Spoon and Ed's advice. This girl is very immature and is
selfishly thinking of herself when she should be thinking of her baby. Do
everything you can to protect your child, Dereck, and try to get custody.
This baby doesn't need a parade of men through her life.

[ShelleBink]

<strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>ShelleBink</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>angelinad128</strong> wrote:<br /><p>She really does need to grow up.</p><p>She's a rebelious girl who never fully grew out of her punk days, and she's still defiant towards anyone that expects anything from her other than what she wants to do. </p><p>Your description of her in the 2nd paragraph fit me to a T.&nbsp; </p><p>Well goddamnit,&nbsp;you're supposed to have an ideal to rebel against,&nbsp;not just whatever chafes you today!&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>I'M REBELLING AGAINST T</p>

[dereckfishboy]

<strong>ShelleBink</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>ShelleBink</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>angelinad128</strong> wrote:<br /><p>She really does need to grow up.</p><p>She's a rebelious girl who never fully grew out of her punk days, and she's still defiant towards anyone that expects anything from her other than what she wants to do. </p><p>Your description of her in the 2nd paragraph fit me to a T.&nbsp; </p><p>Well goddamnit,&nbsp;you're supposed to have an ideal to rebel against,&nbsp;not just whatever chafes you today!&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>I'M REBELLING AGAINST T</p><p>I hope just capitol T. Lowercase t is nothing but trouble.</p>

[ShelleBink]

<strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>ShelleBink</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>ShelleBink</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>angelinad128</strong> wrote:<br /><p>She really does need to grow up.</p><p>She's a rebelious girl who never fully grew out of her punk days, and she's still defiant towards anyone that expects anything from her other than what she wants to do. </p><p>Your description of her in the 2nd paragraph fit me to a T.&nbsp; </p><p>Well goddamnit,&nbsp;you're supposed to have an ideal to rebel against,&nbsp;not just whatever chafes you today!&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>I'M REBELLING AGAINST T</p><p>I hope just capitol T. Lowercase t is nothing but trouble.</p><p>lowercase t is a goer though.</p>

[dereckfishboy]

<strong>WhistlePig</strong> wrote:<br />This baby doesn't need a parade of men through her life. <p>I'll be the constant no matter what</p>

[ShelleBink]

<strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>WhistlePig</strong> wrote:<br />This baby doesn't need a parade of men through her life. <p>I'll be the constant no matter what</p><p>Yeah, you strike me as a good daddy.&nbsp; Kudos to you for that :o)</p>

[dereckfishboy]

<strong>ShelleBink</strong> wrote:<br />lowercase t is a goer though. <p>Then I'm gonna go out and get me some t</p>

[ShelleBink]

<strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>ShelleBink</strong> wrote:<br />lowercase t is a goer though. <p>Then I'm gonna go out and get me some t</p><p>t</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>its the new h</p>

[dereckfishboy]

<strong>ShelleBink</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>WhistlePig</strong> wrote:<br />This baby doesn't need a parade of men through her life. <p>I'll be the constant no matter what</p><p>Yeah, you strike me as a good daddy.&nbsp; Kudos to you for that :o)</p><p>Thanks, but I think being a good Quarterback would have gotten me farther. You&nbsp;can buy&nbsp;people to be good daddy's for you.&nbsp;</p>

[ShelleBink]

<strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>ShelleBink</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>WhistlePig</strong> wrote:<br />This baby doesn't need a parade of men through her life. <p>I'll be the constant no matter what</p><p>Yeah, you strike me as a good daddy.&nbsp; Kudos to you for that :o)</p><p>Thanks, but I think being a good Quarterback would have gotten me farther. You&nbsp;can buy&nbsp;people to be good daddy's for you.&nbsp;</p><p>Eh, I prefer guys who are good daddies... they are sometimes hard to find.</p>

[dereckfishboy]

<strong>ShelleBink</strong> wrote: <p>Eh, I prefer guys who are good daddies... they are sometimes hard to find.</p><p>Yeah, cuz you women appreciate them so much when you find them&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;<img src="/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/tongue.gif" border="0" width="20" height="20" /></p>

[ShelleBink]

<strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>ShelleBink</strong> wrote: <p>Eh, I prefer guys who are good daddies... they are sometimes hard to find.</p><p>Yeah, cuz you women appreciate them so much when you find them&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;<img src="/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/tongue.gif" border="0" width="20" height="20" /></p><p>Took me a&nbsp;long, long, LONG time&nbsp;but NOW I appreciate a good guy when he comes around.</p>

[dereckfishboy]

<strong>ShelleBink</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>ShelleBink</strong> wrote: <p>Eh, I prefer guys who are good daddies... they are sometimes hard to find.</p><p>Yeah, cuz you women appreciate them so much when you find them&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;<img src="/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/tongue.gif" border="0" width="20" height="20" /></p><p>Took me a&nbsp;long, long, LONG time&nbsp;but NOW I appreciate a good guy when he comes around.</p><p>Got any cute friends with similar insight?</p>

[ShelleBink]

<strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>ShelleBink</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>ShelleBink</strong> wrote: <p>Eh, I prefer guys who are good daddies... they are sometimes hard to find.</p><p>Yeah, cuz you women appreciate them so much when you find them&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;<img src="/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/tongue.gif" border="0" width="20" height="20" /></p><p>Took me a&nbsp;long, long, LONG time&nbsp;but NOW I appreciate a good guy when he comes around.</p><p>Got any cute friends with similar insight?</p><p>No, just a cunty psycho alcoholic roommate.</p>

[Tenbatsuzen]

<p>Derek:</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>My advice may seem cliche, but maybe it's time to give her some space.&nbsp; It's obviously hurting you a lot, but sometimes you have to sacrifice for your own happiness.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Move out, leave her alone, but maintain contact with her.&nbsp; Be there when she needs you, but don't be a doormat. &nbsp;&nbsp;</p>

[d-rock]

sorry tenbuatz, usually i'd agree with you on giving her some space, but it seems like she's becoming more and more distant without a clear reason, and that this has maybe been going on for awhile.&nbsp; i really think you need to sit down and confront/talk to her, but what ever you do, don't be confrontaional or hostile, no matter how shitty the conversation goes

[Tenbatsuzen]

<strong>d-rock</strong> wrote:<br />sorry tenbuatz, usually i'd agree with you on giving her some space, but it seems like she's becoming more and more distant without a clear reason, and that this has maybe been going on for awhile. i really think you need to sit down and confront/talk to her, but what ever you do, don't be confrontaional or hostile, no matter how shitty the conversation goes<p>&nbsp;</p><p>My point was, he's staying in a bad relationship because of the issue of the child, but if she is out front telling him she is no longer sexually attracted to him, it's a situation that may be beyond repair.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>In giving her space, he can develop relationships to help rebuild himself outside of the situation with his child's mother, and she can do the same.&nbsp; Staying in a relationship for the sake of the child can lead to even more issues between mother, father, AND child.</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[Bulldogcakes]

<strong>spoon</strong> wrote:<br /><p>I'm with Stu in that this is a tough situation you have. However, it sounds to me that she's not taking having this kid with you seriously and she has a lot of growing up to do. If not for you, I'd feel sorry for the little girl, as you at least sound like you want to do right by her. </p><p>Agreed. </p><p>Dereck didn't you post before that this is her 2nd or 3rd kid? I haven't seen parenting like this since Jerry Springer went off the air. <br /> </p>

[dereckfishboy]

<strong>Bulldogcakes</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>spoon</strong> wrote:<br /><p>I'm with Stu in that this is a tough situation you have. However, it sounds to me that she's not taking having this kid with you seriously and she has a lot of growing up to do. If not for you, I'd feel sorry for the little girl, as you at least sound like you want to do right by her. </p><p>Agreed. </p><p>Dereck didn't you post before that this is her 2nd or 3rd kid? I haven't seen parenting like this since Jerry Springer went off the air. <br /> </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Yeah, this is kid number 2.</p><p>Today she's a different girl. Bi-polar chicks suck.&nbsp;</p>

[Don Stugots]

<strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>Bulldogcakes</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>spoon</strong> wrote:<br /><p>I'm with Stu in that this is a tough situation you have. However, it sounds to me that she's not taking having this kid with you seriously and she has a lot of growing up to do. If not for you, I'd feel sorry for the little girl, as you at least sound like you want to do right by her. </p><p>Agreed. </p><p>Dereck didn't you post before that this is her 2nd or 3rd kid? I haven't seen parenting like this since Jerry Springer went off the air. </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Yeah, this is kid number 2.</p><p>Today she's a different girl. Bi-polar chicks suck.&nbsp;</p><p>doulbe up on her meds and hope for the best.&nbsp; i am not making a joke, with the kid in the picture, you have to hope for the best.&nbsp; </p>

[Snacks]

<strong>Don Stugots</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>Stankfoot</strong> wrote:<br /><p>&nbsp;</p><p><font size="2"><strong>It might just be that she's not sexually attracted to you because she associates having sex with you to having a baby. And since that was such a difficult experience, its a turnoff. This is not uncommon and usually temporary ....</strong></font> </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>I thought that for a while, I really did. Thought the passage of time would take care of that. Our daughter's almost seven months old, now, though, so I think the problems are more deep-rooted than that. </p><p>&nbsp;not always true.&nbsp; after my sister's first kid, she hated her husband.&nbsp; they fought over everything and then one day i talked to him about stuff (he is like my brother and talk about everything) and he told me that him and my sister sleep in different rooms because he now finds him disgusting.&nbsp; i told him to take her on a getaway.&nbsp; they went on a 2nd honeymoon and she came back pregnant with my second nephew.&nbsp; things went right back to the way they were with them sleeping in different rooms.&nbsp; my sister now thinks of this as normal and is disgusted by him, sexually.&nbsp; it doenst always pass sorry to say. &nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>relations are hard, having a kid or even a pet changes things alot.&nbsp; more than you realize until after you are knee deep into it. &nbsp;&nbsp;</p><p>could you imagine the shit a guy would get for saying he is no longer sexually attracted to his wife? I think people loose the attration at times and I personally have no problem with it. I just find it ironic that when a man says hes no longer attracted to his wife he hears a lot of shit and called shallow and an asshole etc.</p>

[dereckfishboy]

<strong>Snacks</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>Don Stugots</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>Stankfoot</strong> wrote:<br /><p>&nbsp;</p><p><font size="2"><strong>It might just be that she's not sexually attracted to you because she associates having sex with you to having a baby. And since that was such a difficult experience, its a turnoff. This is not uncommon and usually temporary ....</strong></font> </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>I thought that for a while, I really did. Thought the passage of time would take care of that. Our daughter's almost seven months old, now, though, so I think the problems are more deep-rooted than that. </p><p> not always true. after my sister's first kid, she hated her husband. they fought over everything and then one day i talked to him about stuff (he is like my brother and talk about everything) and he told me that him and my sister sleep in different rooms because he now finds him disgusting. i told him to take her on a getaway. they went on a 2nd honeymoon and she came back pregnant with my second nephew. things went right back to the way they were with them sleeping in different rooms. my sister now thinks of this as normal and is disgusted by him, sexually. it doenst always pass sorry to say. </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>relations are hard, having a kid or even a pet changes things alot. more than you realize until after you are knee deep into it. </p><p>could you imagine the shit a guy would get for saying he is no longer sexually attracted to his wife? I think people loose the attration at times and I personally have no problem with it. I just find it ironic that when a man says hes no longer attracted to his wife he hears a lot of shit and called shallow and an asshole etc.</p><p>&nbsp;<br />True. I could be bitching that she still has a paunch since the kid, but I'm a bigger man than that. </p>

[angelinad128]

Wait!&nbsp; Is she bi-polar for sure? And is she on meds?&nbsp; That could be the cause of the sexual problem too!&nbsp;

[dereckfishboy]

<strong>angelinad128</strong> wrote:<br />Wait! Is she bi-polar for sure? And is she on meds? That could be the cause of the sexual problem too! <p>She is bi-polar for sure. She was taking Lamictal before, and she's back on it now. Post-partum from after the baby made the bi-polar kick in a little stronger. She upped from 100 mg to 200 mg a couple of days ago. </p>

[KC2OSO]

<strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>KC2OSO</strong> wrote:<br />Wow, you are a man of words. Lots of them. Most of the time there's no need for them. Shhhh...<p>&nbsp;</p><p>Merry Christmas to you too, bud </p><p>&nbsp;I had a feeling that that might be misconstrued.&nbsp; Sorry if it was I wasn't trying to be mean rather I was just trying to say that you might want to try to simplify things a bit and analyze the situation a little less.</p><p>Babies have a way of driving all the fun out of a relationship and it can be hard to get the intimacy back no matter how hard you try/what you do. Maybe if you just try to go about your business as it seems you have been doing and not let the situation eat at you as much, things will sort of work themselves out.&nbsp; Obviously easier said than done.&nbsp; In the present climate there, it doesn't seem to me like there's a lot you can do anyway.</p><p>Anyway, no hard feelings I hope and I hope that, if it's a good thing to do, you can work things out.&nbsp;</p>

[dereckfishboy]

<strong>KC2OSO</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>KC2OSO</strong> wrote:<br />Wow, you are a man of words. Lots of them. Most of the time there's no need for them. Shhhh...<p>&nbsp;</p><p>Merry Christmas to you too, bud </p><p> I had a feeling that that might be misconstrued. Sorry if it was I wasn't trying to be mean rather I was just trying to say that you might want to try to simplify things a bit and analyze the situation a little less.</p><p>Babies have a way of driving all the fun out of a relationship and it can be hard to get the intimacy back no matter how hard you try/what you do. Maybe if you just try to go about your business as it seems you have been doing and not let the situation eat at you as much, things will sort of work themselves out. Obviously easier said than done. In the present climate there, it doesn't seem to me like there's a lot you can do anyway.</p><p>Anyway, no hard feelings I hope and I hope that, if it's a good thing to do, you can work things out. </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>I try to go back to biz as usual, and I hate to say this, but ever since she started lying to me months ago, I always wonder. Friend of hers sends her a text message saying he wants to kiss her when he sees her, and I have to wonder every time they hang out now cuz she already established in the past that she's willing to lie and hide things. I wish I could just go back to the way things were. You know, I stopped drinking habitually and I quit smoking and I no longer particiapte in the usuage of mind-altering substances.... perhaps I need old friends to comfort me.... the absence of a vice has left me.... uptight..... </p>

[dereckfishboy]

<strong>Don Stugots</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>Bulldogcakes</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>spoon</strong> wrote:<br /><p>I'm with Stu in that this is a tough situation you have. However, it sounds to me that she's not taking having this kid with you seriously and she has a lot of growing up to do. If not for you, I'd feel sorry for the little girl, as you at least sound like you want to do right by her. </p><p>Agreed. </p><p>Dereck didn't you post before that this is her 2nd or 3rd kid? I haven't seen parenting like this since Jerry Springer went off the air. </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Yeah, this is kid number 2.</p><p>Today she's a different girl. Bi-polar chicks suck. </p><p>doulbe up on her meds and hope for the best. i am not making a joke, with the kid in the picture, you have to hope for the best. </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>We can do the whole seperate lives things. But I settled down with this chick because I wanted a family. She just doubled her dosage, so maybe I still have a shot.&nbsp;</p>

[ShelleBink]

<strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>Don Stugots</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>Bulldogcakes</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>spoon</strong> wrote:<br /><p>I'm with Stu in that this is a tough situation you have. However, it sounds to me that she's not taking having this kid with you seriously and she has a lot of growing up to do. If not for you, I'd feel sorry for the little girl, as you at least sound like you want to do right by her. </p><p>Agreed. </p><p>Dereck didn't you post before that this is her 2nd or 3rd kid? I haven't seen parenting like this since Jerry Springer went off the air. </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Yeah, this is kid number 2.</p><p>Today she's a different girl. Bi-polar chicks suck. </p><p>doulbe up on her meds and hope for the best. i am not making a joke, with the kid in the picture, you have to hope for the best. </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>We can do the whole seperate lives things. But I settled down with this chick because I wanted a family. She just doubled her dosage, so maybe I still have a shot.&nbsp;</p><p>we're all pullin for ya bud... good luck :o)</p>

[Tenbatsuzen]

<strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote: <p>&nbsp;</p><p>We can do the whole seperate lives things. But I settled down with this chick because I wanted a family. She just doubled her dosage, so maybe I still have a shot.&nbsp;</p><p>Dereck:</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>What you want and what she may want on any given day could be two different things.&nbsp; Is the &quot;doubling up&quot; on her medication Doctor-prescribed, or is she doing it just to feel better?</p><p>I hate to use a show-based example, but this sounds like Paul O. version 2.0.&nbsp; She's out of her mind, she's not regulating her medication, and you're staying in it because you want a family.&nbsp; But considering the facts that it seems like she's cheating on you, she is no longer attracted to you, and a slew of other issues, that's NOT a family.&nbsp; That's a dyfunctional relationship with a child involved.&nbsp; And NOT the healthiest environment for it to grow up in.</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[angelinad128]

<p>I am the first to say stick it out and work on it. But this is really unhealthy.</p><p>Start the new year and a new you and <strong>alone</strong>, getting your child as often as you can!</p>

[dereckfishboy]

<strong>Tenbatsuzen</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote: <p>&nbsp;</p><p>We can do the whole seperate lives things. But I settled down with this chick because I wanted a family. She just doubled her dosage, so maybe I still have a shot. </p><p>Dereck:</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>What you want and what she may want on any given day could be two different things. Is the &quot;doubling up&quot; on her medication Doctor-prescribed, or is she doing it just to feel better?</p><p>I hate to use a show-based example, but this sounds like Paul O. version 2.0. She's out of her mind, she's not regulating her medication, and you're staying in it because you want a family. But considering the facts that it seems like she's cheating on you, she is no longer attracted to you, and a slew of other issues, that's NOT a family. That's a dyfunctional relationship with a child involved. And NOT the healthiest environment for it to grow up in.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>She's not cheating, I know she's not. She's mainly flirting and smoking pot behind my back, which I can live with. And the upped dosage is normal. It's a five week build-up of low dosage to high dosage. <br /><br />And I would love to review movies. </p>

[dereckfishboy]

<strong>angelinad128</strong> wrote:<br /><p>I am the first to say stick it out and work on it. But this is really unhealthy.</p><p>Start the new year and a new you and <strong>alone</strong>, getting your child as often as you can!</p><p>&nbsp;<br />Well, there's this whole issue with the lease....... </p>

[dereckfishboy]

I'm making excuses now, aren't I?

[ShelleBink]

a ge ge ge?

[Dougie Brootal]

<p>have you tried cumming on her face? always works for me.</p><p><img src="http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g130/douggrasso/splooge.gif" border="0" width="448" height="272" /></p>

[dereckfishboy]

<strong>ShelleBink</strong> wrote:<br />we're all pullin for ya bud... good luck :o) <p>&nbsp;<br />Now if I can just get my chick to &quot;pull for me&quot;. Or at least a couple tugs.</p>

[dereckfishboy]

<strong>douggrasso</strong> wrote:<br /><p>have you tried cumming on her face? always works for me.</p><p>&nbsp;Why not, she's got to fall asleep at some point, right? </p>

[dereckfishboy]

<strong>ShelleBink</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote:<br />Got any cute friends with similar insight? <p>No, just a cunty psycho alcoholic roommate.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Now your just trying to get me all worked up. She have near non-existant self esteem? Cuz if so, we might be talking business....&nbsp;</p>

[angelinad128]

<strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote:<br />I'm making excuses now, aren't I? <p>Sadly in every relationship, there is always one person who loves more than the other.</p>

[VaCutie]

Dereck,
you have to think that if she is not honest with you what kind of a relationship can you have. Relationships are based on trust and if that is gone how can you go on?
I always find to trust your gut. If she is getting text messages from her friend saying they want to kiss her then something is up with that.

You need to love yourself and if you aren't in a healthy relationship it isn't going to help your daughter or you.

You have to do what you think is best for you.

[Tenbatsuzen]

<p>Dereck, if she's smoking up, is she breastfeeding?</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[KC2OSO]

<p>I'm hoping not to elicit anger but can you define why you want to be with this person other than in emotional terms?&nbsp; </p><p>There's just so many not so good things going on here (imo).</p>

[ShelleBink]

<strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>ShelleBink</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote:<br />Got any cute friends with similar insight? <p>No, just a cunty psycho alcoholic roommate.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Now your just trying to get me all worked up. She have near non-existant self esteem? Cuz if so, we might be talking business.... </p><p>&nbsp;As long as you dont mind being woken up at night to be screamed at for no reason and have your shit moved around and hidden on you.&nbsp; If I were fucking her, I'd let her get away with it. </p>

[ShelleBink]

<strong>angelinad128</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote:<br />I'm making excuses now, aren't I? <p>Sadly in every relationship, there is always one person who loves more than the other.</p><p>&nbsp;Yup, what she said.</p>

[dereckfishboy]

<strong>Tenbatsuzen</strong> wrote:<br /><p>Dereck, if she's smoking up, is she breastfeeding?</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Nope. She's a good mom, believe it or not.&nbsp;</p>

[dereckfishboy]

<strong>KC2OSO</strong> wrote:<br /><p>I'm hoping not to elicit anger but can you define why you want to be with this person other than in emotional terms? </p><p>There's just so many not so good things going on here (imo).</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>I'm a sucker for a pretty face&nbsp;</p>

[Bulldogcakes]

<strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>douggrasso</strong> wrote:<br /><p>have you tried cumming on her face? always works for me.</p><p> Why not, she's got to fall asleep at some point, right? </p><p>If it works, she's your forever. If it doesn't, she's bi-polar and will probably bite your cock off right then and there. </p><p>I say GO FOR IT!&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[dereckfishboy]

<p>Well, I finally told her how I felt. Told her she's a selfish bitch and a horrible girlfirend and all the other nasty shit on my mind. I was emotional, and in retrospect, it might not have been a good thing. Now she's all fucked up and uncomfortable around me because I scolded her even though it's days later now....</p><p>&nbsp;&nbsp;</p>

[KC2OSO]

<strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote:<br /><p>I was emotional,...</p><p>Well, at least she knows now.&nbsp; Perhaps not the best way of communicating your feelings but whatever.<br />Any way to approach the subject(s) more calmly with her? <br />Also, did you shoot a load in her hair?</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[CofyCrakCocaine]

<p>The whole bi-polar and post-partum part of the equation makes the rest of the shit-formula make sense. Her emotional disorders are probably the biggest problem right then and there. Having been in similar relationships (though none as serious as yours), I can say that it's not in your long-term best interest to stay with this chick if she remains this emotionally devastated- ditto for your child: you sound like you have the makings of a good father. BP can cause alot of problems for seemingly no reason, and you are right to be suspicious of her activities behind your back. Has she always been bi-polar? </p><p>Now, when I was deep in love with this one crazy girl, I would have hated someone if they told me she was no good for me. I suspect the same is true for you, and you would prefer to do whatever it takes to salvage this relationship. Apologies for the analogy, but if this relationship is a sinking ship, you shouldn't go down into the deep black sea with her and start drinking and doing other shit that will just fuck yourself up. You've got a kid now, and if she really is as emotionally distraught as she sounds to me, it's in their best interest to have you around- with or without her.&nbsp; </p><p>I think you really should talk to a lawyer, just as a precautionary measure. You don't need to tell her about this, unless there's some legal requirement that she knows about it. In which case, still go to see the lawyer, because I don't see this getting better with time.&nbsp; </p>

[dereckfishboy]

<strong>KC2OSO</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote:<br /><p>I was emotional,...</p><p>Well, at least she knows now. Perhaps not the best way of communicating your feelings but whatever.<br />Any way to approach the subject(s) more calmly with her? <br />Also, did you shoot a load in her hair?</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>She just sent me a very angry email attacking me, telling me how badly what I said hurt her and how we should probably split up. The email I responed with aparently calmed her down immensly, because she changed her tune to &quot;we both need to go out and have fun&quot;. Which is true. I've been out with my friends three times since Sierra was born. I've had it beat into my head so badly that they grow up so fast that I'm scared to miss anything. I'm neglecting my own needs and exhausting myself I think. I need to buy a quarter of nugg I think.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>And I prefer the tits over the hair.&nbsp;</p>

[dereckfishboy]

<strong>CofyCrakCocaine</strong> wrote:<br /><p>The whole bi-polar and post-partum part of the equation makes the rest of the shit-formula make sense. Her emotional disorders are probably the biggest problem right then and there. Having been in similar relationships (though none as serious as yours), I can say that it's not in your long-term best interest to stay with this chick if she remains this emotionally devastated- ditto for your child: you sound like you have the makings of a good father. BP can cause alot of problems for seemingly no reason, and you are right to be suspicious of her activities behind your back. Has she always been bi-polar? </p><p>Now, when I was deep in love with this one crazy girl, I would have hated someone if they told me she was no good for me. I suspect the same is true for you, and you would prefer to do whatever it takes to salvage this relationship. Apologies for the analogy, but if this relationship is a sinking ship, you shouldn't go down into the deep black sea with her and start drinking and doing other shit that will just fuck yourself up. You've got a kid now, and if she really is as emotionally distraught as she sounds to me, it's in their best interest to have you around- with or without her. </p><p>I think you really should talk to a lawyer, just as a precautionary measure. You don't need to tell her about this, unless there's some legal requirement that she knows about it. In which case, still go to see the lawyer, because I don't see this getting better with time. </p><p>&nbsp; </p><p>She's always been bi-polar, but the kid kicked it into high gear. Looking into it, post-partum depression and bi-polar are so closely related that supposedly (and I never trust statistics) 25% of women who become bi-polar do so initally as a result of post-partum. A chick who's never been bi-polar can have a kid and be bi-polar the rest of her life is supposedly what I read.. So the fact that she was bi-polar BEFORE the post-partum just sent her into a severe bi-polar episode of drastic mood swings.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Maybe I should just fuck around behind her back or something....&nbsp;</p>

[dereckfishboy]

<strong>CofyCrakCocaine</strong> wrote:<br /><p>The whole bi-polar and post-partum part of the equation makes the rest of the shit-formula make sense. Her emotional disorders are probably the biggest problem right then and there. Having been in similar relationships (though none as serious as yours), I can say that it's not in your long-term best interest to stay with this chick if she remains this emotionally devastated- ditto for your child: you sound like you have the makings of a good father. BP can cause alot of problems for seemingly no reason, and you are right to be suspicious of her activities behind your back. Has she always been bi-polar? </p><p>Now, when I was deep in love with this one crazy girl, I would have hated someone if they told me she was no good for me. I suspect the same is true for you, and you would prefer to do whatever it takes to salvage this relationship. Apologies for the analogy, but if this relationship is a sinking ship, you shouldn't go down into the deep black sea with her and start drinking and doing other shit that will just fuck yourself up. You've got a kid now, and if she really is as emotionally distraught as she sounds to me, it's in their best interest to have you around- with or without her. </p><p>I think you really should talk to a lawyer, just as a precautionary measure. You don't need to tell her about this, unless there's some legal requirement that she knows about it. In which case, still go to see the lawyer, because I don't see this getting better with time. </p><p>&nbsp;btw, i always liked your screen name&nbsp; </p>

[Dougie Brootal]

<strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>CofyCrakCocaine</strong> wrote:<br /><p>The whole bi-polar and post-partum part of the equation makes the rest of the shit-formula make sense. Her emotional disorders are probably the biggest problem right then and there. Having been in similar relationships (though none as serious as yours), I can say that it's not in your long-term best interest to stay with this chick if she remains this emotionally devastated- ditto for your child: you sound like you have the makings of a good father. BP can cause alot of problems for seemingly no reason, and you are right to be suspicious of her activities behind your back. Has she always been bi-polar? </p><p>Now, when I was deep in love with this one crazy girl, I would have hated someone if they told me she was no good for me. I suspect the same is true for you, and you would prefer to do whatever it takes to salvage this relationship. Apologies for the analogy, but if this relationship is a sinking ship, you shouldn't go down into the deep black sea with her and start drinking and doing other shit that will just fuck yourself up. You've got a kid now, and if she really is as emotionally distraught as she sounds to me, it's in their best interest to have you around- with or without her. </p><p>I think you really should talk to a lawyer, just as a precautionary measure. You don't need to tell her about this, unless there's some legal requirement that she knows about it. In which case, still go to see the lawyer, because I don't see this getting better with time. </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>She's always been bi-polar, but the kid kicked it into high gear. Looking into it, post-partum depression and bi-polar are so closely related that supposedly (and I never trust statistics) 25% of women who become bi-polar do so initally as a result of post-partum. A chick who's never been bi-polar can have a kid and be bi-polar the rest of her life is supposedly what I read.. So the fact that she was bi-polar BEFORE the post-partum just sent her into a severe bi-polar episode of drastic mood swings.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Maybe I should just fuck around behind her back or something....&nbsp;</p><p>i wouldnt recommend that.</p>

[dereckfishboy]

<strong>douggrasso</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>CofyCrakCocaine</strong> wrote:<br /><p>The whole bi-polar and post-partum part of the equation makes the rest of the shit-formula make sense. Her emotional disorders are probably the biggest problem right then and there. Having been in similar relationships (though none as serious as yours), I can say that it's not in your long-term best interest to stay with this chick if she remains this emotionally devastated- ditto for your child: you sound like you have the makings of a good father. BP can cause alot of problems for seemingly no reason, and you are right to be suspicious of her activities behind your back. Has she always been bi-polar? </p><p>Now, when I was deep in love with this one crazy girl, I would have hated someone if they told me she was no good for me. I suspect the same is true for you, and you would prefer to do whatever it takes to salvage this relationship. Apologies for the analogy, but if this relationship is a sinking ship, you shouldn't go down into the deep black sea with her and start drinking and doing other shit that will just fuck yourself up. You've got a kid now, and if she really is as emotionally distraught as she sounds to me, it's in their best interest to have you around- with or without her. </p><p>I think you really should talk to a lawyer, just as a precautionary measure. You don't need to tell her about this, unless there's some legal requirement that she knows about it. In which case, still go to see the lawyer, because I don't see this getting better with time. </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>She's always been bi-polar, but the kid kicked it into high gear. Looking into it, post-partum depression and bi-polar are so closely related that supposedly (and I never trust statistics) 25% of women who become bi-polar do so initally as a result of post-partum. A chick who's never been bi-polar can have a kid and be bi-polar the rest of her life is supposedly what I read.. So the fact that she was bi-polar BEFORE the post-partum just sent her into a severe bi-polar episode of drastic mood swings.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Maybe I should just fuck around behind her back or something.... </p><p>i wouldnt recommend that.</p><p>&nbsp;Eh. I got treated a lot better by women back when I was younger and treated them like dirt. Doesn't matter, she doesn't have any friends hot enough and it's no fun with a stranger.</p><p>&nbsp;<br />I'm just playing, I haven't fucked around on a girl since I was a teenager.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p>

[angelinad128]

Being that she flips all the time, and she is the one who wants to get away, plus she now knows how you feel and you shouldn't feel guilty about that because she tells you how she feels and you can't blame that on her being crazy, you should be feeling relief!

[ShelleBink]

<strong>dereckfishboy</strong> wrote:<br /><p>And I prefer the tits over the hair.&nbsp;</p><p>You ARE the perfect guy!</p>