I Got PWNED By My Mom Today

[GwEnYpOo]

i had a family therapy session today and my mom completely pwned me . made up shit and exaggerated the shit that was true ... made me out to be a lazy delinquint with no future and told my therapist, my foster parents, my social worker, her social worker and the head of the foster care program im in that she refuses to ever have a relationship with me unless i accept full resposibility for the fact that we have such a fucked up relationship and apologized for as she put it the years of unessesary heart-ache i caused her. for those of you that know me , my mom has done stuff like this before , but it was never this bad before. i do my best. i try hard in school, i try hard at home. i try hard to be a good happy person. she completely berated me , and i cant understan dwhy my own fucking mother needs to break me down so hard and so bad . i dont understand i t. she told them all that i bully and intimidate her, she abandoned the story that i beat her up this time, but she might has well have said that . it was totally unessesary . . . i dont know whether to be sad or in a fucking rage .

[Jujubees2]

<p><font size="2">Gwen,</font></p><p><font size="2">Man that really sucks.&nbsp; But don't let it get your down.&nbsp; It's yor Mom's problem, not yours.&nbsp; You can't control her and how she feels anymore than she can control how you feel.&nbsp; I know it's easier said than done, but don't get all pissed off about what she said.&nbsp; Sounds like your mom needs some serious help.</font></p><p><font size="2">What was the reaction of the social workers?</font></p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by Jujubees2 on 1-12-07 @ 4:40 PM</span>

[phixion]

<p>gwen im soo fuckin sorry that u have to put up with this. dont ever think ur alone, we're all be here for u all the time. my mom shit on me recently too, its not easy to get over. i know that, i wish i could offer you advice or anything like that.......all i can offer is a blunt. </p><p>god life sucks gwen, and i seriously wish i could i tell you that it gets better as you get older but i cant. but im only 22 so i hope it gets better, but i expect a heaping pile of shit to get poured on me tomorrow.</p>

[Team_Ramrod]

<p>You can be both sad and pissed about&nbsp;this.</p><p>Family problems are the worst. If a friend were to do this you could just turn away and never speak to them again. Obviously with family it's a little tougher. I don't know your situation but maybe a little bit of away time is necessary. No seeing each other on therapy sessions, no visits, no phone calls until 'special' days.</p><p>Take it bit by bit. If you only communicate through phone do so sparingly at first. If the first call goes to hell then back away for a few weeks or a month until you can speak decent to each other. If the first phone call goes well, try again in a week, if that goes well try again in another week. You may just need to limit your communication so each person has time to deal with thier own hurt and anger.</p><p>Therapy will not and does not solve anything with the individuals in trouble being sat beside each other in the same room because when one person vents and begins to feel better the other person gets hurt and enraged about the things being said. It goes back and forth until both parties are more pissed than originally.</p><p>Take time, in most cases as we grow and mature we become better friends with our parents. Hopefully this can be the case for you.</p>

[GwEnYpOo]

well i havent seen her since september when i moved out, there hasnt been any contact since then. this is the first time i've been in the same room with her and/or heard her speak.

[Team_Ramrod]

<p>Oh, well then I'm sorry. I truly hope things will work out for you. Don't spend so much time thinking about it that you become consumed&nbsp;by it and fill with anger and hate. </p><p>You will make it through this and trust me, it will get better.</p>

[boeman]

<p>screw that, I'd tell her to fuck off if she was my mom... I don't need that kind of crap and I'm sure it's the same for you...</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>My advice is you talk to your therapist and social worker about the problem alone, let them know that you can't take being around this anymore... It's probably a good time to move on and be the person you want to be. Be as successful as you can without her anchoring you down.&nbsp;It is my opinion that staying around this will only amplify any issues you may already have. </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>but that's all my non professional opinion.</p>

[angelinad128]

<strong>boeman</strong> wrote:<br /><p>My advice is you talk to your therapist and social worker about the problem alone, let them know that you can't take being around this anymore... </p><p>I agree. You must do this alone.&nbsp; I feel so bad for you and can just imagine the hate you have that and it's right for you to have it.</p><p>Does your mom go to therapy?&nbsp; She obviously had something happen to her when she was younger and is taking it out on you.</p>

[mdr55]

Parents aren't perfect. It's obvious that your mom has issues in her life that &quot;may or may not&quot; be any fault of your own. It seems that she is projecting all the disatisfaction in her life onto you and blaming you for the life that she percieves she could have if it wasn't for you. Don't take what see says to seriously. If you argue with her, it'll reinforce what she believes. Do some empathy, reflective listening and motivational interviewing as well as rolling with resistance in dealing with her.<br />

[FUNKMAN]

my initial reaction is she is blaming you for what are her own insecurities but i don't know either of you personally. hopefully you guys can reach an understaning or some common ground. just being civil to each other seems like it should be an easy thing to do but it obviously isn't in so many cases...

[Legolas]

<p>Beat her!</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Oh wait, sorry, wrong movie.</p>

[GwEnYpOo]

<strong>angelinad128</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>boeman</strong> wrote:<br /><p>My advice is you talk to your therapist and social worker about the problem alone, let them know that you can't take being around this anymore... </p><p>I agree. You must do this alone.&nbsp; I feel so bad for you and can just imagine the hate you have that and it's right for you to have it.</p><p>Does your mom go to therapy?&nbsp; She obviously had something happen to her when she was younger and is taking it out on you.</p><p>don't feel bad for me , im not full of hate , anger yes, but not hate . i'll never hate her she's my mom and i'll always love her. she refuses to go to therapy as she had made clear in this little meeting ... telling everyone she refused to participate in family therapy because she wasn't the one with the problem i was. she's had a horrible life. fate dealt her a really shitty hand really early on in life, and she's a miserable ass person for it . i don't blame her but still, im not going to get into my theories about my mother's psyche because i'd be typing for days ... let's just say ... im angry and resentfull ... but i try to keep a clear mind about things ... despite my anger i am gratefull for the life i had and the things i had as well as haven't had because it's made me a stronger better person ... i wouldn't trade my life for anyone else's ever .... im proud of the personi am today . she upsets me ... but in the long run , i feel bad for he and wish i could help her , and knowing that she will never accept help especially from me kills me , but all i can do is keep hope that one day she'll see things for what they really are.</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[Fat_Sunny]

<p><font size="2">Although Fat Has Not Read It And Cannot Therefore Endorse It, And Although She Is Extremely Controversial, Fat Has Heard Several People Say That Dr. Laura Schlesinger's Book <strong><em>&quot;Bad Childhood, Good Life&quot; </em></strong>Has Been Very Helpful In Getting Past Childhood Baggage.&nbsp; It May Be Worth A Look.</font></p><p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Bad-Childhood-Good-Life-Blossom-Childhood/dp/006057786X/sr=8-1/qid=1168816081/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-4058514-8693712?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books">http://www.amazon.com/Bad-Childhood-Good-Life-Blossom-Childhood/dp/006057786X/sr=8-1/qid=1168816081/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-4058514-8693712?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books</a></p>

[angelinad128]

<strong>GwEnYpOo</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>angelinad128</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>boeman</strong> wrote:<br /><p>My advice is you talk to your therapist and social worker about the problem alone, let them know that you can't take being around this anymore... </p><p>I agree. You must do this alone.&nbsp; I feel so bad for you and can just imagine the hate you have that and it's right for you to have it.</p><p>Does your mom go to therapy?&nbsp; She obviously had something happen to her when she was younger and is taking it out on you.</p><p>don't feel bad for me , im not full of hate , anger yes, but not hate . i'll never hate her she's my mom and i'll always love her. she refuses to go to therapy as she had made clear in this little meeting ... telling everyone she refused to participate in family therapy because she wasn't the one with the problem i was. she's had a horrible life. fate dealt her a really shitty hand really early on in life, and she's a miserable ass person for it . i don't blame her but still, im not going to get into my theories about my mother's psyche because i'd be typing for days ... let's just say ... im angry and resentfull ... but i try to keep a clear mind about things ... despite my anger i am gratefull for the life i had and the things i had as well as haven't had because it's made me a stronger better person ... i wouldn't trade my life for anyone else's ever .... im proud of the personi am today . she upsets me ... but in the long run , i feel bad for he and wish i could help her , and knowing that she will never accept help especially from me kills me , but all i can do is keep hope that one day she'll see things for what they really are </p>After reading your reply I have to ask Why are you in therapy? You don't need it!

[douchebagsean]

so sorry to hear that gwenny, phixxon is right ur never alone always keep that in mind.&nbsp; try to smile and stay happy luv<br />

[cozzie]

<strong>Fat_Sunny</strong> wrote:<br /><p><font size="2">Although Fat Has Not Read It And Cannot Therefore Endorse It, And Although She Is Extremely Controversial, Fat Has Heard Several People Say That Dr. Laura Schlesinger's Book <strong><em>&quot;Bad Childhood, Good Life&quot; </em></strong>Has Been Very Helpful In Getting Past Childhood Baggage.&nbsp; It May Be Worth A Look.</font></p><p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Bad-Childhood-Good-Life-Blossom-Childhood/dp/006057786X/sr=8-1/qid=1168816081/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-4058514-8693712?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books">http://www.amazon.com/Bad-Childhood-Good-Life-Blossom-Childhood/dp/006057786X/sr=8-1/qid=1168816081/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-4058514-8693712?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books</a></p><p>hey Fat go back to school and learn how not to talk about your fat self in the 3rd person!</p>

[GwEnYpOo]

<strong>angelinad128</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>GwEnYpOo</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>angelinad128</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>boeman</strong> wrote:<br /><p>My advice is you talk to your therapist and social worker about the problem alone, let them know that you can't take being around this anymore... </p><p>I agree. You must do this alone.&nbsp; I feel so bad for you and can just imagine the hate you have that and it's right for you to have it.</p><p>Does your mom go to therapy?&nbsp; She obviously had something happen to her when she was younger and is taking it out on you.</p><p>don't feel bad for me , im not full of hate , anger yes, but not hate . i'll never hate her she's my mom and i'll always love her. she refuses to go to therapy as she had made clear in this little meeting ... telling everyone she refused to participate in family therapy because she wasn't the one with the problem i was. she's had a horrible life. fate dealt her a really shitty hand really early on in life, and she's a miserable ass person for it . i don't blame her but still, im not going to get into my theories about my mother's psyche because i'd be typing for days ... let's just say ... im angry and resentfull ... but i try to keep a clear mind about things ... despite my anger i am gratefull for the life i had and the things i had as well as haven't had because it's made me a stronger better person ... i wouldn't trade my life for anyone else's ever .... im proud of the personi am today . she upsets me ... but in the long run , i feel bad for he and wish i could help her , and knowing that she will never accept help especially from me kills me , but all i can do is keep hope that one day she'll see things for what they really are </p>After reading your reply I have to ask Why are you in therapy? You don't need it!<p>cause my mom put me there, but i think that everyone could benefeit from at least a little therapy.</p>

[CofyCrakCocaine]

<strong>cozzie</strong> wrote:<br /><p>hey Fat go back to school and learn how not to talk about your fat self in the 3rd person!</p><p>&nbsp;Doesn't get the bit guy. <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/rolleyes.gif" border="0" /> Fat rules.</p><p>&nbsp;Gwen, don't know what to tell ya other than you're not alone and we'll help you as best we can. It sounds like this woman is manipulative, but then, I have no idea about either of you two in terms of who's telling the truth and who's the guiltier one, etc. Best advice is you both need to let go of whatever bitter squabbling you've got going. If one of you is unwilling to do so, then that person is the one who remains in the wrong. Just take the high road and remain willing, and she'll be the asshole.&nbsp; </p>