Anthony Bourdain Shits On the Food Network [Archive]

JohnWC

02-23-2007, 10:08 AM

This is awesome. I agree with Tony's opnions on pretty much all the hosts. Plus Giada is hotter than Rachael Ray.Anyone who has seen even a little bit of Paula Deen's show has to laugh at this:PAULA DEEN: I’m reluctant to bash what seems to be a nice old lady. Even if her supporting cast is beginning to look like the Hills Have Eyes--and her food a True Buffet of Horrors.  

This message was edited by JohnWC on 2-23-07 @ 2:08 PM

KC2OSO

02-23-2007, 10:11 AM

Brilliant perhaps.  IMO the Food Network is just out to make a buck like everyone else.  They understand that the public likes dog shit and pabulum.  The Galloping Gourmet, Julia, and that bearded kid-toucher guy are long gone.  Ubiquitous Rachel and all her teeth are here now. Tony says, absinthe makes the fart go honda!

JPMNICK

02-23-2007, 10:35 AM

I do not understand the bashing of the food network. are the making the recipes from French Laundry, of course not! But it is not supposed to be some high society way of cooking. Most people do not have the tools or the access to the ingredients that you might find at the top restaurants. But that is the reason we have those restaurants. i think what the food network does well is teach people how to cook simple, and mostly healthy things during the week. You can not complain about food TV and the fact that americans are getting fatter and fatter from fast food. there is not enough time to cook a wonderful meal on a tuesday night. that is a fact of most peoples lives. So instead of spending 30 bucks at Charlie Browns for some fried shit with cheese on it, you can cook up something nice and enjoy it at home. We all can not be Anthony Bordain and be able to travel the world tasting the finest chefs have to offer. I am not sure if this post is an attack on him and his attack on FoodTV, or just a general backlash against all the winey comlany people who need to have something to bitch about. 

This message was edited by JPMNICK on 2-23-07 @ 3:40 PM

jetdog

02-23-2007, 10:46 AM

whether you agree with him or not (and I happen too, love the sarcastic bastard), you gotta admit he's a great writer/storyteller.  I wonder if he can actuslly cook?I feel vindicated in my enjoyment of Iron Chef, Good Eats and Giada's breasts.

KC2OSO

02-23-2007, 10:49 AM

JPMNICK wrote: Most people do not have the tools are the access to the ingredients that you might find at the top restaurants.... Amen.  Can't say I love every show but I'm a fan of Good Eats and have learned a bunch from Alton.  He gets a little goofy at times but it's a good show.  Chefs in general are a pretty odd bunch.  Toughest/best job I ever had was being a waiter.

JPMNICK

02-23-2007, 10:52 AM

KC2OSO wrote: JPMNICK wrote: Most people do not have the tools are the access to the ingredients that you might find at the top restaurants.... Amen.  Can't say I love every show but I'm a fan of Good Eats and have learned a bunch from Alton.  He gets a little goofy at times but it's a good show.  Chefs in general are a pretty odd bunch.  Toughest/best job I ever had was being a waiter. I was a waiter and a bus boy at a few places, and all the chefs were insane. I am not saying bourdain is not is great writer, he is. I actually have his book the Nasty Bits.  As for him being able to cook, he is Executive Chef at Les Halles, which is a very well respected restaurant in NYC. 

This message was edited by JPMNICK on 2-23-07 @ 3:39 PM

torker

02-23-2007, 11:48 AM

jetdog wrote: I feel vindicated in my enjoyment of Iron Chef, Good Eats and Giada's breasts. Them shits bobble.<img src="http://z.about.com/d/gourmetfood/1/0/r/4/GiadaLaurentiis.jpg" border="0" width="348" height="400" />edit ~ I said 'booble'

This message was edited by torker on 2-23-07 @ 3:49 PM

Tall_James

02-23-2007, 12:14 PM

<img src="http://xs67.xs.to/pics/06066/everydaycrazy.jpg" border="0" width="370" height="493" />"I WILL COOK AND EAT YOUR SOUL !!!!"

KC2OSO

02-23-2007, 12:25 PM

Main Entry: pen·du·lous <a href="javascript:popWin('/cgi-bin/audio.pl?pendul02.wav=pendulous')"><img src="http://www.m-w.com/images/audio.gif" border="0" width="16" height="11" /></a> Pronunciation: -l&s Function: adjective Etymology: Latin pendulus, from pendEre to hang 1 archaic : poised without visible support 2 a : suspended so as to swing freely <boobies hung with pendulous nature> b : inclined or hanging downward <pendulous boobies> - pen·du·lous·ness noun

realmenhatelife

02-23-2007, 01:36 PM

i read this like last week and actually thought he takes it easy compared to how hard he used to bash emeril-  im just glad he likes alton cus good eats is my favorite cooking show.   i think he's a little off on mario batali though, i know everyone loves mario and says he's probably the best chef around and all but molto mario was pretty mundane bordering on corny- i liked the stuff he would cook though and really liked the mario touring italy show.  its also awesome that his old man retired to make salami and mario left a lucritive white collar position to become a chef.

JPMNICK

02-23-2007, 01:45 PM

realmenhatelife wrote: i read this like last week and actually thought he takes it easy compared to how hard he used to bash emeril-  im just glad he likes alton cus good eats is my favorite cooking show.   i think he's a little off on mario batali though, i know everyone loves mario and says he's probably the best chef around and all but molto mario was pretty mundane bordering on corny- i liked the stuff he would cook though and really liked the mario touring italy show.  its also awesome that his old man retired to make salami and mario left a lucritive white collar position to become a chef.   Mario is far and away the best chef on that channel. The problem is that his meals are very complex, with odd ingredients that are hard to find. An example is today he was making Sweet Breads with baby artichokes. Sweet Bread, although delicious sounding, are the lungs of a sheep i think. His meals are very hard to make and although they really show off some of truer italian dishes from multiple regions, most of better left to a chef or an experienced cook to make. His restaurant Babbo in NYC is one of my favorites though. You can see what a great chef he is, and how quickly his mind can combine raw ingridents into something awesome by watching him on Iron Chef

sailor

03-11-2007, 09:45 AM

JPMNICK wrote: realmenhatelife wrote: i read this like last week and actually thought he takes it easy compared to how hard he used to bash emeril- im just glad he likes alton cus good eats is my favorite cooking show.  i think he's a little off on mario batali though, i know everyone loves mario and says he's probably the best chef around and all but molto mario was pretty mundane bordering on corny- i liked the stuff he would cook though and really liked the mario touring italy show. its also awesome that his old man retired to make salami and mario left a lucritive white collar position to become a chef. Mario is far and away the best chef on that channel. The problem is that his meals are very complex, with odd ingredients that are hard to find. An example is today he was making Sweet Breads with baby artichokes. Sweet Bread, although delicious sounding, are the lungs of a sheep i think. His meals are very hard to make and although they really show off some of truer italian dishes from multiple regions, most of better left to a chef or an experienced cook to make. His restaurant Babbo in NYC is one of my favorites though. You can see what a great chef he is, and how quickly his mind can combine raw ingridents into something awesome by watching him on Iron Chef <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sweetbread" target="_blank">sweetbread</a> is the pancreas or thymus.

burrben

03-11-2007, 09:55 AM

i was just talking about this with someone. the food network is pretty shitty. i remember when i was a kid i would come home and watch "great chefs of the world" (i think) on the discovery channel. i like to watch people who talk about different styles of cooking like julia child and her french style and stuff. and graham kerr. on satyrday mornings i watch the cooking shows on PBS, the quailty of the show isn't great but it's still a thousand times better

Bulldogcakes

03-11-2007, 10:05 AM

RACHAEL: Complain all you want. It’s like railing against the pounding surf. She only grows stronger and more powerful. Her ear-shattering tones louder and louder. We KNOW she can’t cook. She shrewdly tells us so. So...what is she selling us? Really? She’s selling us satisfaction, the smug reassurance that mediocrity is quite enough. She’s a friendly, familiar face who appears regularly on our screens to tell us that “Even your dumb, lazy ass can cook this!” Wallowing in your own crapulence on your Cheeto-littered couch you watch her and think, “Hell…I could do that. I ain’t gonna…but I could--if I wanted! Now where’s my damn jug a Diet Pepsi?” Where the saintly Julia Child sought to raise expectations, to enlighten us, make us better--teach us--and in fact, did, Rachael uses her strange and terrible powers to narcotize her public with her hypnotic mantra of Yummo and Evoo and Sammys. “You’re doing just fine. You don’t even have to chop an onion--you can buy it already chopped. Aspire to nothing…Just sit there. Have another Triscuit…Sleep….sleep….”  I still hate this guy, but thats just fuckin hilarious.

lleeder

03-11-2007, 10:14 AM

It seemed pretty brutal. I'm sure it would make more sense to me if I actually watched the Food Network.

sailor

03-11-2007, 10:31 AM

Bulldogcakes wrote:  RACHAEL: Complain all you want. It’s like railing against the pounding surf. She only grows stronger and more powerful. Her ear-shattering tones louder and louder. We KNOW she can’t cook. She shrewdly tells us so. So...what is she selling us? Really? She’s selling us satisfaction, the smug reassurance that mediocrity is quite enough. She’s a friendly, familiar face who appears regularly on our screens to tell us that “Even your dumb, lazy ass can cook this!” Wallowing in your own crapulence on your Cheeto-littered couch you watch her and think, “Hell…I could do that. I ain’t gonna…but I could--if I wanted! Now where’s my damn jug a Diet Pepsi?” Where the saintly Julia Child sought to raise expectations, to enlighten us, make us better--teach us--and in fact, did, Rachael uses her strange and terrible powers to narcotize her public with her hypnotic mantra of Yummo and Evoo and Sammys. “You’re doing just fine. You don’t even have to chop an onion--you can buy it already chopped. Aspire to nothing…Just sit there. Have another Triscuit…Sleep….sleep….”   I still hate this guy, but thats just fuckin hilarious.  he's way too pretentious for me.  so if you're not aspiring to be a gourmet chef you don't get to watch cooking shows?

DonInNC

03-11-2007, 10:35 AM

Entertaining article.Since my wife started watching Food Network, her cooking has gone to whole diiferent level. She's always had the basic skills, but it was mostly meatloaf, pot roast, basic kind of stuff. She's gotten much more creative in the kitchen since she's started wathcing and she even enjoys cooking now.With that said, a while back, as part of a project for a Marketing class, I watched the Food Network for three hours on a weekend morning. Specifically, I was studying the advertising. I fully expected a lot of commercials for cookbooks, ginsu knives, etc. What I found was quite the opposite - the commercials were predominately for restaraunt chains and pre-packaged meals. It's really the same as ESPN, whose programming features athletes in top-notch conditioning, but whose advertising is mostly for products that are unhealthy. Just like ESPN knows its average viewer isn't going to turn off the TV and go work out after watching a game, the Food Network and its sponsors know that the average viewer isn't going to go off and prepare a gourmet meal. It's all a fantasy, and fantasies are supposed to be entertaining.

midwestjeff

03-11-2007, 11:27 AM

i'm starving. we got any already chopped onions around here?

bootzilla6

03-11-2007, 11:32 AM

KC2OSO wrote: Brilliant perhaps.  IMO the Food Network is just out to make a buck like everyone else.  They understand that the public likes dog shit and pabulum.  The Galloping Gourmet, Julia, and that bearded kid-toucher guy are long gone.  Ubiquitous Rachel and all her teeth are here now. Tony says, absinthe makes the fart go honda!<img src="/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/lol.gif" border="0" width="20" height="20" />  You made spit my coffee out.

keithy_19

03-11-2007, 09:50 PM

I don't like Giada. In fact, I prefer Rachel Ray over her. This guy really seems angry and like a douche bag. Perhaps he was turned down for a show on the food network and holds a terrible grudge over it. And Paula Dean will add a pound of sugar and 3 sticks of butter just because you only live once. God bless her.