touching Speech!!!

[reeshy]

listen guys.,....I need a speech to end my ritirement,,,,I don't know who to do it....will you please help... got 2 weeks to pepare,,,just help...please!!!!

[MrPink]

I would just talk about the positive experiences if any that you had working there. Thank anybody that was real helpful and keep it short. That's pretty much what I did for my valedictorian speech.

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by MrPink on 2-27-07 @ 3:23 AM</span>

[reeshy]

WOW...that's sucks....I mean thanks.......I retireing from th fuck CG....these guys eanna hear jokes and shit!!

[PapaBear]

I've never given a speech, but a quick Google search shows <a href="http://speeches.com/speeches/527/Menu/d/speech527.aspx">THIS</a>. It has a free trial, so I assume you can get at least one free speech out of it. Talk about freedom of speech!!!

[PapaBear]

<strong>reeshy</strong> wrote:<br />these guys eanna hear jokes and shit!! <p>You could start with this...</p><p>&quot;I wanted to give you guys a <em><strong>touching</strong></em> speech, but who really wants to hear about my masturbation habits?&quot;<img src="/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/drunk.gif" border="0" width="58" height="30" /></p><p>Don't forget to emphasise the word &quot;touching&quot;.</p>

[Yerdaddy]

Just talk to them like you post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!1

[Reephdweller]

<p>Do what I always do, start your speech by saying &quot;PHUCK THAT, YOU DEAL WITH ME NOW!&quot; </p><p>Then very quickly break into a squat thrust!</p><p><img src="http://www.frixo.com/sites/fitness/exercises/pics/squat2.jpg" border="0" width="262" height="350" /></p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[mendyweiss]

<p><img src="http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/3/3a/230px-Dice_clay.jpg" border="0" width="230" height="230" />Old Mother Hubbard went to the cubbard to fetch her poor dog a bone,</p><p>She bent OVER !!! OoHHHHHHHHHH !</p>

[Don Stugots]

<strong>mendyweiss</strong> wrote:<br /><p><img src="http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/3/3a/230px-Dice_clay.jpg" border="0" width="230" height="230" />Old Mother Hubbard went to the cubbard to fetch her poor dog a bone,</p><p>She bent OVER !!! OoHHHHHHHHHH !</p><p>&nbsp;very nice.&nbsp; </p>

[King Hippos Bandaid]

<strong>mendyweiss</strong> wrote:<br /><p><img src="http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/3/3a/230px-Dice_clay.jpg" border="0" width="230" height="230" />Old Mother Hubbard went to the cubbard to fetch her poor dog a bone,</p><p>She bent OVER !!! OoHHHHHHHHHH !</p><p>LOL&nbsp; 1980s Dice Mentions Always Funny</p><p>2000s Dice Mention&nbsp; um yeah,well I guess he still&nbsp; thinks re he is relivent </p>

[Wallower]

Eat nothing but baby food for a week and take a giant liquid shit on the CEO's car. Key the car once for each good year of your life they wasted. Make sure to get every panel.

[Devo37]

<font face="comic sans ms,sand" size="2">recount all of the wonderful experiences you've had with your co-workers Dirty Sanchez (the Mexican Bandit), Rusty Trombone (the jazz musician), Harry Elvis (the comic who only jokes about pants), Tossie the Salad (the chef), etc...</font>

[MrPink]

you could just call out all the assholes you worked with

[Doctor Z]

You can always fall back on <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yw7KijRfU-c" target="_blank">this old classic</a>.

[Yerdaddy]

Just be yourself. It's not like they can fire you <em>twice</em>!

[lleeder]

<p><font size="3">Just say &quot;I bet you thought I would die first, but no...I'm retiring&quot;</font></p>

[Tall_James]

<p>Start with a joke...</p><p>A Coast Guard Chief and a Navy Admiral were sitting in the barbershop. They were both just getting finished with their shaves and the barbers were reaching for some after-shave to slap on their faces. The admiral shouted, Hey, don&rsquo;t put that shit on me! My wife will think I&rsquo;ve been in a <br />whorehouse!&quot; The Coast Guard Chief turned to his barber and said, &quot;Go ahead and put it on. My wife doesn&rsquo;t know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like. </p><p>Then follow up by screaming...</p><p>&quot;COAST GUARD RULES!&quot;</p><p>You'll have them in the palm of your hand.</p>

[johnniewalker]

<strong>Yerdaddy</strong> wrote:<br />Just talk to them like you post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!1<p>&nbsp;The more n-bombs the better! </p>

[reeshy]

Thank you all for your suggestions....Tall James.....I'm going with that one..thanks!!

[Bellyfullasnot]

Any updates?

[ralphbxny]

I bet he used the N bomb!

[Tall_James]

<p>My joke must have bombed with the crowd.</p>

[raulfd4]

<p>maybe it went something like this other <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JyGLoo9xi9A" title="scarface">classic.</a></p>