Wow..does that make me a bad son???

[reeshy]

<p>I was talking with my Mom today....she told me that my dad was diagnosed with Alsheimer's Syndrome last year....I had noticed little changes with my dad's behaviour the last time I say him alive.....I mentioned it to my mom and she just got a little teaary eyed....and then said that's what&nbsp; old age does to you...I just brushed it off..</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>When I heard that today.....I was so glad my dad died....ANd that thought makes me feel like shit....I wan't my dad to live forever.....but not like that....I was an RN <em>in a Va hospital and took care of ALzheimer's patients.....it tore my heart out....that's shy I'm not a nurse anymore.....</em></p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>My dad was pivotal in my life....but to see him live like that....I'm glad he's dead.....and I think he would want that also......but it makes me feel like a bastard.......&nbsp;</p>

[MrPink]

That doesn't make you a bad son, I'm sure your dad wouldn't want to live like that.

[J.Clints]

No man it does not make you a bad son. But I am sorry about your loss

[J.Clints]

No man it does not make you a bad son. But I am sorry about your loss

[Reephdweller]

I don't think it makes you bad at all. You just didn't want him to suffer or go through any of that. A friend of mines dad has Alzheimers and I can tell you that it's devestating to a family let alone the person living with it. I think if anything it's a humane thought.

[mdr55]

<p>You trying to re-shape your &quot;mama's boy&quot; image or what?</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>It doesn't make you a bad son. Since you've worked as a nurse, you've seen how people who are affected by that condition affects them. No one likes to see their parents in a deteriorated mental or physical health status where they are unable to help them despite advances in modern medicine and science. </p>

[reeshy]

Hey MDR...what did you mean bout the momma boy thing?????

[Bossanova]

It makes you a son who only wanted your father to have gone out they way he would have wanted to.&nbsp; Noone would want their parent to go through that awful pain

[patsopinion]

<p>I know where your comming from and what you mean and i sympathize completely.&nbsp; I saw my dads dad degrade like that and it was awful.&nbsp;</p><p>sounds like mdr is confused.</p><p>You were a male nurse?&nbsp;</p>

[reeshy]

No...I was an RN!!!!!

[jetdog]

<p>Reeshy, it's not only painful to see someone live like that, but it's painful for that person to live like that.</p><p>My wife's father suffered a very severe stroke and lived debilitated for a year and a half, shortly before he died he said &quot;I don't want to do this anymore.&quot;&nbsp; My wife didn't want to see him suffer, she was both heartbroken and releived when he passed away.&nbsp; It's okay to have both of those feelings because they are real.&nbsp;</p>

[reeshy]

Thanks Jet.....I know that what I felt was right.....but sometimes it helps to hear others say it...thanks!!!!

[feralBoy]

like 3 years ago my grandmother went in a coma, and eventually she was on a respirator and all that jazz.&nbsp; I remember everyone saying, she'll get better, and they didn't want to take her off the respirator.&nbsp; I remember one night at the hospital, just screaming at everyone, &quot;why are you guys putting her through this.&quot;&nbsp; And nobody understood my stance.&nbsp; I wanted her to die, and everyone else wanted her to live like that.&nbsp; When she died, I was glad she died.&nbsp; It still hit me like a ton of bricks, but I was glad it was over for her.&nbsp; I still feel guilty about it, but everyone thinks of things differently, and what's right for one person isn't right for another.

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by feralBoy on 2-28-07 @ 10:08 PM</span>

[Captain Rooster]

I watched a grandmother deteriorate for 2 years. It may not be better--meaning word choice--but at least the suffering passed mercifully. You know what you meant, you never wanted to see your father fade away. All the best, bro.

[reeshy]

Thanks for all the replys from my friends!!

[mdr55]

No problem.<br />

[Justice4all]

<p>Reeshy, you are not a bad son at all. You loved your father so much, you are happy he has no more pain then having to suffer the indignity of watching him slowly slip away and lose his mind day after day.</p><p>My grandmother died 4 years ago in Feb. and she had dimentia. She did not even know who my father or I or any one of her family members were. When she passed away there was a mix of saddness but also relief because we knew she no longer suffered. So I know exactly where you are coming from.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>No you are definaltely not a bad son.</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[Death Metal Moe]

<p>It doesn't make you bad for wanting your loved one's suffering to stop.&nbsp; I personally hate how we keep people alive these days.&nbsp; I think elderly people should be able to decide when they want to go.&nbsp; Go with a little dignity.&nbsp; Instead, we have this bullshit religious stuff where suicide is wrong, mixed with the fact that the health care system in this country wants to keep these people alive to make money off them.</p><p>Very sorry for your loss Reeshy but don't beat&nbsp;yourself up.&nbsp; </p>

[TjM]

<strong>reeshy</strong> wrote:<br /><p>I was talking with my Mom today....she told me that my dad was diagnosed with Alsheimer's Syndrome last year....I had noticed little changes with my dad's behaviour the last time I say him alive.....I mentioned it to my mom and she just got a little teaary eyed....and then said that's what&nbsp; old age does to you...I just brushed it off..</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>When I heard that today.....I was so glad my dad died....ANd that thought makes me feel like shit....I wan't my dad to live forever.....but not like that....I was an RN <em>in a Va hospital and took care of ALzheimer's patients.....it tore my heart out....that's shy I'm not a nurse anymore.....</em></p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>My dad was pivotal in my life....but to see him live like that....I'm glad he's dead.....and I think he would want that also......but it makes me feel like a bastard.......&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Nah. My dad had a long drawn out in and out of the hospital constant pain death. On his last night I remember him being in allot of pain, and incoherent. At that point I wished the pain would end and he could have some peace. I felt bad but my&nbsp;dad loved&nbsp; life and would never be able to live it. Hell he wasn;t physically able to attend my wedding. </p><p>&nbsp;Sorry for venting</p><p>DOesnt make you a bad son reeshy</p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by TjM on 3-3-07 @ 2:11 PM</span>

[sandyjat]

<table border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" width="100%" height="100%" id="HB_Mail_Container"><tbody><tr width="100%" height="100%"><td id="HB_Focus_Element" width="100%" height="250" valign="top">NO, it doesn't make you a bad son...it's hard to see someone go through life miserable.&nbsp; I was realieved when my Aunt passed, because she was suffering with cancer and in so much pain.</td></tr><tr><td height="1" style="font-size: 1pt"></td></tr></tbody></table>