View Full Version : best friends and ex girlfriends...
weekapaugjz
03-01-2007, 09:10 PM
<p>alright, i have a dilemma that i can not figure out on my own about my best friends ex-girlfriend. this could get a little wordy so if you're not in for the long haul, stop reading now.</p><p>not really sure where to start the story so im just gonna ramble. so this guy has been my one of my closest friends since we were kindergarten. when i went to college kind of lost touch with him, but when i came back from school, he has been my best friend since, going on about 4 years now. this is the type of guy that would do anything for his friends no matter what it was, and i would do the same for him.</p><p>so when i moved back to my home town he had a new girlfriend. i thought she was really cool and a lot of fun to hang out with. she ended up moving in with him a few months later and were together for over 3 years. after hanging out with her for a while i really started to get feelings for this girl but know i could never try to do anything or this guy would fucking go berszerk and probably end a 20 year friendship about it. i was shady a few times and went over and hung out with her, at his house when he was at work. we were big time smoking buddys so my friend didn't mind, but i only went over to hang out with her when he wasn't around. i wasn't very proud of my self about it, but continued to do it several times a week. </p><p>fast forward about 2 years to this past november. they "break up" because she started going to school in syracuse, about 3 1/2 hours from my home town and they couldn't deal with the distance. they are both pretty jealous it came to one another. so they were apart for a month but when she was back home for x-mas they were back together, but then broke up again before she went back to school. </p><p>my guy friend, who i see about 1-2 times a month now, i live in buffalo 1 1/2 hours from my hometown, claims they are done and he has been with at least 3 other girls since. i don't buy it though because when i was at his house for the superbowl (a month after they "broke up" again) he signed into another friends facebook to keep tabs on her. he is an extremely jealous person.</p><p>so finally to my point. i get a myspace comment today from this girl, who i haven't talked to in like 2 months saying she missed me and wanted to stop by my place on her drive home next weekend for a pow wow (remember, smoking buddys). i want to tell this girl how i feel but i have a very strong feeling that my friendship with my guy friend would be completly destroyed, which i don't want to happen. should i tell this girl i want to be with her and see how she feels about the situation?</p><p>i am extremely conflicted about this whole thing. i want to tell this girl how i feel but i don't want to lose my best friend. should i take advice of the wise mr. b and keep my feelings inside until i develop stomach cancer or take the chance? </p><p>i was just wondering if anyone has ever been in a similar situation with ex lovers and best friends and how it turned out and if anyone has any advice. ive been wanting to make this post for about a week now and just got the myspace comment and sent me over the edge and had to air this all out. this is the first time i have told anyone i like this girl.</p><p>if you have gotten this far, i sincerely appreciate it.</p><p>--jz </p>
satan-2
03-01-2007, 11:43 PM
<p>wow this is a tough one. i say go for it. life's too short to wonder about woulda, coulda, shoulda. and when it comes to best friends ahh forgot it. the people i thought were my best friends turned out to be flaky people last summer. and people who i considered good friends turned out to be great friends. i'll explain:</p><p>this past summer i was in a hospital for 3 months. my soo called best friend never visited me. i have known this person for over 10 yrs. and his wife for 9-10 yrs. she was prego so she has an excuse not to visit but he does not have that excuse. yeah he lives in jersey but so does my brothers friend who lives closer to atlantic city than NYC. so that excuse is really no excuse. now people whom i have known for less than 5 yrs. were visting me and highly concerned about my well being. this shocked me.</p><p>what about if you just ask her out. if she yes you tell your best friend that she asked YOU out. if she says no, no harm no foul and you immediately move on to someone else. why because some girls get off on stringing guys along for their own amusement.</p><p> to conclude i say you should just overlook the fact that he's currently your best friend because one day he probably won't be anyway.</p><p>tons of luck </p>
Whatever happened to "bros before hos"?
Doctor Z
03-02-2007, 12:02 AM
<p>I know this sounds bold, but if you are as close as you claim to be with this dude, it could be the best route to take... TELL YOUR FRIEND ABOUT IT. Go to him and say "I like so-and-so. How's that make you feel?" If he says "It makes me wanna kill you", then you know not to act on your feelings for her. If he says "Whatever, I'm over her, go for it" then you're in the clear.</p><p>If you wanna make sure things are cool between you and your friend, I would talk to him about it. </p><p>I've been in a similar situation. It totally sucks. </p>
satan-2
03-02-2007, 01:42 AM
<strong>narc</strong> wrote:<br />Whatever happened to "bros before hos"?<p>excellent point but if your bro is not acting like a bro should you still treat him like a bro. in my opinion i don't think so. what do yas think?? </p>
patsopinion
03-02-2007, 01:58 AM
<p>tooo wordy</p><p>i tried i really did but i started the second paragraph and gave up</p><p>in reality guys do not date girls based on persoanlity wich is the main thingey in a friendship so drop her ass</p><p>was i even close to being on topic? </p>
Lumber
03-02-2007, 03:33 AM
<strong>weekapaugjz</strong> wrote:<br /><p> </p><p> i was shady a few times and went over and hung out with her, at his house when he was at work. we were big time smoking buddys so my friend didn't mind, but i only went over to hang out with her when he wasn't around. i wasn't very proud of my self about it, but continued to do it several times a week. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> No offense James, but you should be ashamed. If I was your Buddy & I found out you were hangin` w/ my old lady I would'nt think twice about giving you 1 massive beat-down. Think about it.</p>
weekapaugjz
03-02-2007, 05:31 AM
<strong>Lumber</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>weekapaugjz</strong> wrote:<br /><p> </p><p> i was shady a few times and went over and hung out with her, at his house when he was at work. we were big time smoking buddys so my friend didn't mind, but i only went over to hang out with her when he wasn't around. i wasn't very proud of my self about it, but continued to do it several times a week. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> No offense James, but you should be ashamed. If I was your Buddy & I found out you were hangin` w/ my old lady I would'nt think twice about giving you 1 massive beat-down. Think about it.</p><p> none taken man, the thing was, my buddy knew that i was going over there to hang out. the times i went over i never would have even thought about making a move. it was just that i enjoyed hanging out with her w/o my friend around. like i said, i wasn't very proud of it.</p><p>thanks everyone else for the advice so far, its always good to here other peoples opinions on shit like this. doctor z, if it was any other friend of mine, i would approach him about it first, but i think i need to talk to the girl first, if anything, to see where she stands on the whole thing. </p>
<p>I would tell your friend you want to ask her out. Note the word 'tell.' I wouldn't ask him for his approval, I would just do him the courtesy of letting him know because he's your friend. </p><p>If he gets pissed and starts yelling at you that you can't do it, you just have to lay it down that what he thinks is inconsequential (not necessarily in those words...that could bruise his ego a little bit, so I'd be a bit more gental) and that you're only letting him know about it up front because of your friendship with him. </p><p>If he's your friend, he may be a little upset, but he'll get over it and keep being your friend. If he bails on you completely because of this, it's probably a sign it wasn't as strong a friendship as you may have thought. </p><p>This shouldn't do any real damage to the friendship, unless this chick crushed him before they broke up, or they are still going out (which you've established they're not). </p>
keithy_19
03-02-2007, 11:37 AM
<strong>narc</strong> wrote:<br />Whatever happened to "bros before hos"? <p>Somewhere along the line a guy noticed that there bros had cocks. He then compared to the vagina, and well, the rest is history. </p>
Furtherman
03-02-2007, 11:42 AM
<p>Do you know how many single women there are out there? How about finding one of them.</p><p>Besides, this girl is in college. Far away. You think she's gonna stay loyal to you?? </p><p>Leave your friend's drama alone.</p>
habibhaddad
03-02-2007, 12:11 PM
Pussy is pussy. Take her out and don't feel any guilt. CYA
ralphbxny
03-02-2007, 12:20 PM
as Ron would say...if your a man...you'll do it.
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