Best dirty talk [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard

blakjeezis

03-07-2007, 09:11 PM

What is the best, dirtiest, weirdest, or most unexpecte thing (or any combination thereof) you or someone you were with has screamed out in the heat of battle?My first is kinda lame, but it was cool at the time. I was banging a chick and without any prompting whatsoever she starts moaning "Fuck me, Daddy. Fuck me, Daddy," over and over. That was pretty hot.Then another chick, and there's a whole backstory to this, but it ends with here screaming, "YOU FAT BASTARD! FUCK ME YOU BALD LIMEY COCKSUCKER!" She wasn't exactly a prize-winner herself, though. I was like, "Honey, glass houses, huh?"

PapaBear

03-07-2007, 09:16 PM

I vaguely remember having sex. Don't ask me what we said.

Marc with a c

03-07-2007, 09:21 PM

"do you have clean urine?"

Team_Ramrod

03-08-2007, 06:37 AM

Oh, my fucking god! I can't believe...... I can't fucking beleive...... I can't beleive I bothered getting undressed for this shit!I tried to make the best of it and pretend she meant it was so good she should have just pulled up her sun dress and pulled the panties to the side cause she wished she was getting it 30 seconds sooner.

moochcassidy

03-08-2007, 06:38 AM

"that was a picnic for my cunt"

Dan 'Hampton

03-08-2007, 06:49 AM

moochcassidy wrote: "that was a picnic for my cunt"  You crazy bastards across the pond.  Throwing a hotdog down a hallway there?

EliSnow

03-08-2007, 06:50 AM

The best dirty talk is whenever a woman says "fuck me" (or any variation thereof "fuck me hard," "fuck my ass") or "cunt." But the best dirty talk? "It's too big."

ShelleBink

03-08-2007, 06:50 AM

moochcassidy wrote: "that was a picnic for my cunt"  I am *so* using that.

EliSnow

03-08-2007, 06:53 AM

ShelleBink wrote: moochcassidy wrote: "that was a picnic for my cunt"  I am *so* using that.Isn't that what ESD said West Side said?  Or was that someone else's story?

HypnoDude

03-08-2007, 06:56 AM

I told her, "I'm gonna find some new pussy"She replied "If you had 2 more inches you would find some new pussy" "Don The Hypnotist" P.S...I wanna picnic with ShelleBink.......lol

milliehatchett

03-08-2007, 07:02 AM

moochcassidy wrote: "that was a picnic for my cunt" Isn't that what ESD said West Side said?  Or was that someone else's story?I believe that was Giant Brian's wife who said "picnic for my cunt"....

EliSnow

03-08-2007, 07:13 AM

milliehatchett wrote: moochcassidy wrote: "that was a picnic for my cunt" Isn't that what ESD said West Side said?  Or was that someone else's story?I believe that was Giant Brian's wife who said "picnic for my cunt"....I knew it was a bald white goof who said it.   Great memory.

mendyweiss

03-08-2007, 07:23 AM

Shake that fuckin thing honey, you want me to call again !!

Tall_James

03-08-2007, 07:24 AM

"SPLIT ME WITH YOUR SWORD!!!!"True story.

Kevin

03-08-2007, 07:28 AM

Tall_James wrote: "SPLIT ME WITH YOUR SWORD!!!!"True story. By Reggie Bush?? Or John Bellairs?

SouthSideJohnny

03-08-2007, 07:36 AM

The Midnight Ramrod wrote: Oh, my fucking god! I can't believe...... I can't fucking beleive...... I can't beleive I bothered getting undressed for this shit! Holy shit!!! That would scar me for life!

ralphbxny

03-08-2007, 07:42 AM

FFFFFRRRRUUUUUNNNNKKKKIIIIIIIISSSSSSS!!!!!!

ralphbxny

03-08-2007, 07:44 AM

I cant believe im going to cum agaaaaaaiiinnnnn!!!!!That was my fav!!

Kevin

03-08-2007, 07:46 AM

ralphbxny wrote: I cant believe im going to cum agaaaaaaiiinnnnn!!!!!That was my fav!!As the girl yawned, and looked at the ceiling.<img src="/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/bye.gif" border="0" width="26" height="18" />

feralBoy

03-08-2007, 08:00 AM

This was after sex, but I dated a girl with a british accent, and when we were done, she turned to me and said, "please sir, could I have some more."  I never thought a line from oliver twist could be hot, but it was fucking hot. 

scorpion

03-08-2007, 08:45 AM

People have sex?WOW!

Midkiff

03-08-2007, 08:59 AM

"I can feel it pushing my guts!"

Andomray

03-08-2007, 09:50 AM

Tall_James wrote: "SPLIT ME WITH YOUR SWORD!!!!"True story.Were you at a Renaissance fair?

raulfd4

03-08-2007, 09:53 AM

cum inside me

Fallon

03-08-2007, 11:03 AM

<hr color="cococo" align="left">EliSnow wrote: But the best dirty talk? "It's too big."ÿ <hr color="cococo" align="left">
 
 
I don't want to call the chick a liar when we're fucking though.

Friday

03-08-2007, 11:10 AM

"I felt that in my throat"hey!  i just realized that can be used in a couple of scenarios... *notes to self*  yay

EliSnow

03-08-2007, 11:16 AM

None of the ladies offering what they like to hear in the sack?  Is dirty talk only wanted by men?

torker

03-08-2007, 11:17 AM

When I jokingly told a chick to bring an enima bag, and she did.  Actually, That's more of a visual.

Tall_James

03-08-2007, 11:21 AM

Andomray wrote: Tall_James wrote: "SPLIT ME WITH YOUR SWORD!!!!"True story.Were you at a Renaissance fair?No, but there was a live rabbit in the bed with us at the time.  She was truly a memorable lay.

Fallon

03-08-2007, 11:26 AM

<hr color="cococo" align="left">Tall_James wrote: Andomray wrote: Tall_James wrote: "SPLIT ME WITH YOUR SWORD!!!!"True story.Were you at a Renaissance fair?No, but there was a live rabbit in the bed with us at the time.ÿ She was truly a memorable lay.<hr color="cococo" align="left">
 
 
Didn't the teeth and claws hurt though?

JPMNICK

03-08-2007, 11:28 AM

Fallon wrote: Tall_James wrote: Andomray wrote: Tall_James wrote: "SPLIT ME WITH YOUR SWORD!!!!"True story.Were you at a Renaissance fair?No, but there was a live rabbit in the bed with us at the time.  She was truly a memorable lay.  Didn't the teeth and claws hurt though? i was wondering how he got a tube big enough to fit the rabbit in his ss

Tall_James

03-08-2007, 11:30 AM

JPMNICK wrote: Fallon wrote: Tall_James wrote: Andomray wrote: Tall_James wrote: "SPLIT ME WITH YOUR SWORD!!!!"True story.Were you at a Renaissance fair?No, but there was a live rabbit in the bed with us at the time.  She was truly a memorable lay.  Didn't the teeth and claws hurt though? i was wondering how he got a tube big enough to fit the rabbit in his ssI borrowed you Mom's.  BAM!

JPMNICK

03-08-2007, 11:35 AM

Tall_James wrote: JPMNICK wrote: Fallon wrote: Tall_James wrote: Andomray wrote: Tall_James wrote: "SPLIT ME WITH YOUR SWORD!!!!"True story.Were you at a Renaissance fair?No, but there was a live rabbit in the bed with us at the time.  She was truly a memorable lay.  Didn't the teeth and claws hurt though? i was wondering how he got a tube big enough to fit the rabbit in his ssI borrowed you Mom's.  BAM!Bring it back, she has been looking for it!

grlNIN

03-08-2007, 11:52 AM

"Rape me like a Viking".

Tall_James

03-08-2007, 11:58 AM

grlNIN wrote: "Rape me like a Viking". <img src="http://www.photofile.com/Photos/Photos_Of_The_Day/05_10_04/thumbs/2005%20Minnesota%20Vikings%20Team%20Composite.jpg" border="0" width="326" height="400" />They'd still find a way to ruin it.

grlNIN

03-08-2007, 12:06 PM

Well they are....you know...

Tall_James

03-08-2007, 12:08 PM

...from Minnesota?

EliSnow

03-08-2007, 12:18 PM

grlNIN wrote: Well they are....you know... Tall_James wrote: ...from Minnesota? Hey, I'm from Minnesota!

This message was edited by EliSnow on 3-8-07 @ 4:26 PM

sailor

03-08-2007, 12:21 PM

Tall_James wrote: grlNIN wrote: "Rape me like a Viking". <img src="http://www.photofile.com/Photos/Photos_Of_The_Day/05_10_04/thumbs/2005%20Minnesota%20Vikings%20Team%20Composite.jpg" border="0" width="326" height="400" />They'd still find a way to ruin it. was that on their booze cruise?

grlNIN

03-08-2007, 12:32 PM

I was going to say black.

ralphbxny

03-08-2007, 01:05 PM

Kevin wrote: ralphbxny wrote: I cant believe im going to cum agaaaaaaiiinnnnn!!!!!That was my fav!!As the girl yawned, and looked at the ceiling.<img src="/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/bye.gif" border="0" width="26" height="18" /> You know her too huh....damn hoes!!!

ralphbxny

03-08-2007, 01:06 PM

raulfd4 wrote: cum inside me Tom Brady's favorite line!!!

lleeder

03-08-2007, 01:14 PM

Your right, it feels better than it looks

narc

03-08-2007, 01:18 PM

I have a terrible memory when it comes to sex, especially anything that gets said. But you were right whoever said Giant Brian. GB's wife also said: "You just took my cunt to the Amusement Park"

EliSnow

03-08-2007, 01:21 PM

narc wrote: I have a terrible memory when it comes to sex, especially anything that gets said. But you were right whoever said Giant Brian. GB's wife also said: "You just took my cunt to the Amusement Park" Another great line.  Wow.

Leticia

03-08-2007, 01:23 PM

I like to say fuck me till it hurts...i like it when the guy makes comments on how wet I am. I hate the whole insulting as dirty talk... that was always a big turn off for me... things like you little slut.. oe bitch... I see how someone could like that i guess but i could never get into it.

Marc with a c

03-08-2007, 01:37 PM

i was a little thrown from this one, but it got me going a bit.  it was the night of the christmas party. "do you think sheepy has a big penis?" as she was on top of me with a blanket over my face.

lleeder

03-08-2007, 01:39 PM

Marc with a c wrote: i was a little thrown from this one, but it got me going a bit.  it was the night of the christmas party. "do you think sheepy has a big penis?" as she was on top of me with a blanket over my face.What was you answer? "I don't have to think, I know"

Jughead

03-08-2007, 01:57 PM

Wanna hear us??   Come on... wanna hear it???  There!!...There!! ....There!!!...Feel it and listen to it sweetheart............. Ok Im not sure about the sweetheart thing???But it was something like that.........<img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/happy.gif" border="0" />

Ritalin

03-08-2007, 02:58 PM

I used to bang this optometrist chick, and it was pretty annoying. The whole time, while we were having sex she would be like "is it better like this....or like this? Like this.....or like this?"

Gvac

03-08-2007, 03:03 PM

Some things are incredibly hot in the heat of passion, but sometimes it's an incredible turnoff.  One chick started screaming at me to hit her.  I had no idea what the fuck she was talking about, but she wanted me to belt her in the face.  I gave her a few light slaps and she started screaming "hit me harder you pussy!"I've knocked out guys twice my size so there was no way I was going to haul off and wail this broad, but she really wanted it.  I ended the "session" right then and there.  I told her if she really thought I was a pussy she could go get her dad, her brother, and a couple of their friends and I'd kick the shit out of all of them but there was no way I was clocking a chick in the face.  Who the fuck thinks that's "hot?" Some people are sick.

Lumber

03-08-2007, 03:08 PM

blakjeezis wrote:  I was banging a chick and without any prompting whatsoever she starts moaning "Fuck me, Daddy. Fuck me, Daddy," over and over. That was pretty hot.           It's a regular for me. Yes...life is good.

Marc with a c

03-08-2007, 03:11 PM

Lumber wrote: blakjeezis wrote:  I was banging a chick and without any prompting whatsoever she starts moaning "Fuck me, Daddy. Fuck me, Daddy," over and over. That was pretty hot.           It's a regular for me. Yes...life is good.how many kids do you have?

FUNKMAN

03-08-2007, 03:14 PM

and your still hard

Bulldogcakes

03-08-2007, 04:17 PM

moochcassidy wrote: "that was a picnic for my cunt"  Her cunt was covered with ants?

Bulldogcakes

03-08-2007, 04:22 PM

Tall_James wrote: Andomray wrote: Tall_James wrote: "SPLIT ME WITH YOUR SWORD!!!!"True story.Were you at a Renaissance fair?No, but there was a live rabbit in the bed with us at the time. So I stuck and carrot in my ass and had him nibble his way down as she was blowing me. She was truly a memorable lay. Fixed that for ya.

Sheeplovr

03-08-2007, 04:35 PM

Marc with a c wrote: i was a little thrown from this one, but it got me going a bit. it was the night of the christmas party. "do you think sheepy has a big penis?" as she was on top of me with a blanket over my face. lies

Dougie Brootal

03-08-2007, 04:36 PM

i always liked cum in my ass

Kevin

03-08-2007, 04:38 PM

Sheeplovr wrote: Marc with a c wrote: i was a little thrown from this one, but it got me going a bit. it was the night of the christmas party. "do you think sheepy has a big penis?" as she was on top of me with a blanket over my face. liesLies on what she asked about you, or lies that he is actually with  women?? I call shenanigans on both stories.

FUNKMAN

03-08-2007, 05:07 PM

douggrasso wrote: i always liked cum in my assewww

SatCam

03-08-2007, 06:05 PM

Gvac wrote: Some things are incredibly hot in the heat of passion, but sometimes it's an incredible turnoff. One chick started screaming at me to hit her. I had no idea what the fuck she was talking about, but she wanted me to belt her in the face. I gave her a few light slaps and she started screaming "hit me harder you pussy!"I've knocked out guys twice my size so there was no way I was going to haul off and wail this broad, but she really wanted it. I ended the "session" right then and there. I told her if she really thought I was a pussy she could go get her dad, her brother, and a couple of their friends and I'd kick the shit out of all of them but there was no way I was clocking a chick in the face. Who the fuck thinks that's "hot?" Some people are sick. 

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/8/8c/Racheldratchdebbie.jpg/250px-Racheldratchdebbie.jpg

sailor

03-09-2007, 05:28 AM

Gvac wrote: Some things are incredibly hot in the heat of passion, but sometimes it's an incredible turnoff. One chick started screaming at me to hit her. I had no idea what the fuck she was talking about, but she wanted me to belt her in the face. I gave her a few light slaps and she started screaming "hit me harder you pussy!"I've knocked out guys twice my size so there was no way I was going to haul off and wail this broad, but she really wanted it. I ended the "session" right then and there. I told her if she really thought I was a pussy she could go get her dad, her brother, and a couple of their friends and I'd kick the shit out of all of them but there was no way I was clocking a chick in the face. Who the fuck thinks that's "hot?" Some people are sick.  some chicks like to be smacked.  nothing wrong with that.  if she wanted you to punch her (didn't sound like it) that would be going too far.  everyone's sick to someone else.

Dougie Brootal

03-09-2007, 06:16 AM

FUNKMAN wrote: douggrasso wrote: i always liked cum in my assewwwi cant believe i said that and only 1 person noticed!

EliSnow

03-09-2007, 06:20 AM

douggrasso wrote: i always liked cum in my assIs this an attempt to get a different mod quote, because I think it works.

terry1979

03-09-2007, 06:26 AM

Leticia wrote: I like to say fuck me till it hurts...i like it when the guy makes comments on how wet I am. I hate the whole insulting as dirty talk... that was always a big turn off for me... things like you little slut.. oe bitch... I see how someone could like that i guess but i could never get into it. This chick is the best

CaptClown

03-09-2007, 06:41 AM

Hurry up my pimp is waiting.

Dougie Brootal

03-09-2007, 06:45 AM

EliSnow wrote: douggrasso wrote: i always liked cum in my assIs this an attempt to get a different mod quote, because I think it works.that was not an attempt at another mod quote. but it would be good for someone who is not me.i probably shouldve said, i always like when my chick says cum in my ass. but it was not a deliberate attempt. id admit it if it was.

EliSnow

03-09-2007, 06:50 AM

douggrasso wrote: EliSnow wrote: douggrasso wrote: i always liked cum in my assIs this an attempt to get a different mod quote, because I think it works.that was not an attempt at another mod quote. but it would be good for someone who is not me.i probably shouldve said, i always like when my chick says cum in my ass. but it was not a deliberate attempt. id admit it if it was.Hey,  you like cum in your ass.  No one's judging you.  Say it loud and say it proud, you're here, you're queer, you like it in the rear.

Chip196

03-09-2007, 06:53 AM

This isn't exaclty a specific phrase, but ... I hooked with a girl that I had known for years.  We went back to my apartment both pretty drunk.  We had never hooked up before.  When I returned from brushing my teeth she was undressed, on my bed, and suddenly speaking in a sultry souther belle accent.  I know for a fact the neither her, or any of her family is southern.  It was definitely hot since it seemed like bordering on inpomptu role-playing, but I never asked her about it.  When we woke up the next morning she was right back to her normal voice.

sailor

03-09-2007, 06:53 AM

EliSnow wrote: douggrasso wrote: EliSnow wrote: douggrasso wrote: i always liked cum in my assIs this an attempt to get a different mod quote, because I think it works.that was not an attempt at another mod quote. but it would be good for someone who is not me.i probably shouldve said, i always like when my chick says cum in my ass. but it was not a deliberate attempt. id admit it if it was.Hey, you like cum in your ass. No one's judging you. Say it loud and say it proud, you're here, you're queer, you like it in the rear. this has been my grass-atorial...THAAAAAAAAANK YOU!!!!

Dougie Brootal

03-09-2007, 06:57 AM

sailor wrote: EliSnow wrote: douggrasso wrote: EliSnow wrote: douggrasso wrote: i always liked cum in my assIs this an attempt to get a different mod quote, because I think it works.that was not an attempt at another mod quote. but it would be good for someone who is not me.i probably shouldve said, i always like when my chick says cum in my ass. but it was not a deliberate attempt. id admit it if it was.Hey, you like cum in your ass. No one's judging you. Say it loud and say it proud, you're here, you're queer, you like it in the rear. this has been my grass-atorial...THAAAAAAAAANK YOU!!!! if i get this as a mod quote i will kill both of you.

sailor

03-09-2007, 07:12 AM

douggrasso wrote: sailor wrote: EliSnow wrote: douggrasso wrote: EliSnow wrote: douggrasso wrote: i always liked cum in my assIs this an attempt to get a different mod quote, because I think it works.that was not an attempt at another mod quote. but it would be good for someone who is not me.i probably shouldve said, i always like when my chick says cum in my ass. but it was not a deliberate attempt. id admit it if it was.Hey, you like cum in your ass. No one's judging you. Say it loud and say it proud, you're here, you're queer, you like it in the rear. this has been my grass-atorial...THAAAAAAAAANK YOU!!!! if i get this as a mod quote i will kill both of you. now it sounds like you're beggin' for it to happen.

Dougie Brootal

03-09-2007, 07:15 AM

soooooooooooooooooooooo.......how bout that jim norton, huh? funny guy isnt he?

high fly

03-10-2007, 11:38 PM

I've never had a woman spontaneously call out for her daddy, but two of them have called out, OH MAMA!

Justice4all

03-11-2007, 07:03 AM

terry1979 wrote: Leticia wrote: I like to say fuck me till it hurts...i like it when the guy makes comments on how wet I am. I hate the whole insulting as dirty talk... that was always a big turn off for me... things like you little slut.. oe bitch... I see how someone could like that i guess but i could never get into it. This chick is the bestAGREED!Gvac wrote:Some things are incredibly hot in the heat of passion, but sometimes it's an incredible turnoff. One chick started screaming at me to hit her. I had no idea what the fuck she was talking about, but she wanted me to belt her in the face. I gave her a few light slaps and she started screaming "hit me harder you pussy!"I've knocked out guys twice my size so there was no way I was going to haul off and wail this broad, but she really wanted it. I ended the "session" right then and there. I told her if she really thought I was a pussy she could go get her dad, her brother, and a couple of their friends and I'd kick the shit out of all of them but there was no way I was clocking a chick in the face. Who the fuck thinks that's "hot?" Some people are sick.  <img src="http://www.boxing-memorabilia.com/images/Mike_Tyson.jpeg" border="0" width="250" height="313" />"Maybe I can punch her in her uterus"    Ok...now that all the jokes are aside....I agree with black jeebus....I had this gal and when she started not only screaming DADDY but went into the entire "You're little girl is such a slut isn't she?" routine...I lost it (in the good way) about 7 times that night. Never was able to hit a high like I did with her.Too bad she was also Bi-polar. (what...you are actually SHOCKED about that?)I know some gals who liked to be hit in the face when having that animal side come out. We ALL have some inner freak inside of us that we share with a select person or two. But Leticia...it's nice to know that the whole 'wet pussy' comment turns a woman on. I love saying it when it is true.