I'm losing everybody i love within a year

[FMJeff]

<p>So my grandma has just been put on hospice. She's 91. It's her time. I was ready for it years ago.</p><p>My aunt's cancer is spreading. Just found spot on her lungs. Doctors not convinced current therapies will be sufficient to combat the spread. Diagnosis is grim. </p><p>Now just recently discovered a cancerous growth on my cousin's ovaries.&nbsp;</p><p>I'm pretty good with this kind of thing, i have like this abnormal disconnect from feelings that clicks on and off sporatically...but my dad is a waterfall of emotion...</p><p>he's just getting beaten up by life, its crazy. </p><p>to lose his mother, his sister and his niece within a relatively short amount of time...its just too awful to comprehend. &nbsp;</p>

[Fallon]

Damn, sorry to hear that Jeff.

[PapaBear]

I can't imagine losing that many loved ones in such a close period of time. I'm really sorry.

[Justice4all]

<p>Damn Jeff, I don't know what to say other then I am really sorry.</p><p>I hope things get better for you and your dad. I am crossing my fingers for your family.</p>

[patsopinion]

<p>i have a similar comping/disconnect mechanism but with the botteling of pain... to cliche to say</p><p>ive gone through similar and your are due for a good break down cry</p><p>i once watched caccoon in the house that my grandfather had died in 2 months earlier.&nbsp; I cried for like 7 hours staight after...</p><p>find a way to reconect, get it out.&nbsp; Youll be way better off&nbsp;</p>

[Gwen]

Sorry to hear about it Jeff.&nbsp; Hopefully you'll just be able to be there for your dad and then when you're ready to deal with it all someone will be there for you too.

[Death Metal Moe]

Wow, I don't know how I'd deal with all that.&nbsp; All I can say is Sorry man, not that it really helps.

[FUNKMAN]

My Condolences!&nbsp; It's cliche but makes you appreciate just being 'healthy' and everything else in your life is just not as important.&nbsp; Stay close to your Pop and just be there for him.

[reillyluck]

Im really sorry to hear this jeff.&nbsp; Hang in there.&nbsp;

[led37zep]

<p>Jeff, I'm so sorry for your family brotha.&nbsp; It sounds like your dad needs a strong sholder to lean on.&nbsp; I'm sure just being by his side and spendng time with him will help your family get through this.</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[scorpion]

<p>Jeff I am sorry to hear about what is happening to you and your family.&nbsp; I will keep best thoughts and say some prayers for you.</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[Don Stugots]

<p>Jeff,</p><p>i had no idea you were going thru this.&nbsp; stay strong man.&nbsp; you know if you need anything, just ask. &nbsp; you and your family are in my prayers. &nbsp;&nbsp;</p>

[Wallower]

<p>I know there is nothing I can say that will make any of this better. My only advice is to spend as much quality time as you can with these people. Get your grandmother to tell you stories. Let them all know how much you appreciate them.</p>

[TjM]

<p>Jesus</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Hang in there man</p>

[Leticia]

<p>I'm sooo sorry.. The same kind of thing happened to me..</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>I lost my mom, my grandmother and my cousin in the same year...</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>it's messed up... but it makes us stronger as horrible as that is to say.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>I'm really sorry , I hope you gain as much knowlegde and love as you possible can from this horrible tragedy.</p><p>I may not know how you feel but I can know what I felt then and what I wanted to hear.&nbsp;</p>

[high fly]

<p>Damn, Jeff, that's brutal.</p><p>You don't need me telling you to be there for your dad.</p><p>My own father has 9 brothers and sisters. He's 76 and he lost his first sibling about 25 years ago to cancer.&nbsp;Every one of the&nbsp;rest of them have had cancer of one sort or another - every one of them. He had about 40 or so skin cancers removed in the 80s and 90s before he retired, but that's it, and that stopped when he got out of the sun for long stretches in the day.</p><p>Still, he's terrified of getting cancer, we had quite a father-son conversation about it about 6 weeks ago when I was out there visiting. The kind of talk that shakes you to your core. My dad has always been a tough guy and to see that bit of vulnerability.....</p><p>The youngsters out there need to read this and understand just how precious life is and how we need to get over problems with loved ones because nearly everything in life dwindles to insignificance when we see the value of the lives of others to us. We gotta let go of problems of the past and forgive forgive forgive and be strong when and where others falter.</p>

[samnyc]

Once everyone dies no one else can touch you!

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by samnyc on 3-11-07 @ 12:12 PM</span>

[Bulldogcakes]

<p>Sorry to hear about this Jeff. Sometimes these things come in bunches, its just the luck of the draw. I had the same thing happen a few years back. There are some things in life there are really no answers to, they make no sense, you simply have to endure them.</p><p> <br />Good luck bro. </p>

[Friday]

<p>Jeff... I have no words.&nbsp; Losing one is the worst... I cannot imagine what your family is going through.</p><p>You have my prayers and my ear if you should ever need to vent.&nbsp;</p>

[spot]

<p>I lost my mom and my dad this year, I know how horrible you must feel. </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>My condolences to you and your family. &nbsp;</p>

[FMJeff]

<p>well...she's gone...my grandmother died this morning...my dad is beside himself...funeral is on tuesday...graveyard is...its so macabre...when iwas looking for houses on long island to buy i never realized id buy one 5 minutes from my family plot...</p><p>how convenient...when i kick it its just around the corner...wont have to inconvenience anyone too much...</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>death is funny...&nbsp;</p>

[Reephdweller]

<p>Oh man, I'm sorry to hear that Jeff. I know a lot of people who are strong and can get through a lot of adversity, though I'm sure even they would be overloaded with that many things going on. The best thing you and your family can do through this is to show him all the support he needs to help get through this. I'll hope everything works out for you and your family.</p>

[angelinad128]

<p>Deepest sympathies.&nbsp; </p><p>I'm sure it's safe to ay were all here to lean on and vent to.</p>

[Aggie]

All I can say is I'm truly sorry. I lost both of my grandmother's within a month of each other a few years back. It's really tough but it gets a little better every day.

[FMJeff]

<p>Here is the eulogy I wrote for my grandmother. I thought it be nice to share it with you all, so maybe you could get an impression of her.</p><p class="MsoNormal">&nbsp;</p><p class="MsoNormal">&nbsp;</p><p class="MsoNormal">&nbsp;</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Beloved family and friends. Many of you are heavy with sorrow. I wish I could share that sorrow with you, but I did not come here to mourn my grandmother&rsquo;s death. I came here to celebrate her life, because I know she would have none of this. Alice Shain lived her life so selflessly, so in devotion to the happiness of her friends and family that I wonder when she left time for herself. This is a woman, as you all know, who would offer to pick up the check for her own birthday meal. &ldquo;Barry&rdquo;, she would say to my father, &ldquo;you need money?&rdquo; Bear in mind, friends, my father is a very successful businessman, respected by his peers, feared by his rivals, known the world over for his powers of persuasion and razor sharp business savvy&hellip;but the minute he heard that gentle question, all he could do was bow his head and reply, &ldquo;No mom&rdquo;, like he was ten years old all over again.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">&nbsp;</p> <p class="MsoNormal">That was the simple elegance of the woman. She showed little regard for earthly possessions&hellip;status&hellip;title. You could be a millionaire or president of the world, but in her eyes, you were son&hellip;daughter&hellip;granddaughter&hellip;loved equally, completely, without condition. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">&nbsp;</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Some of you may be wondering if I visited my grandmother in her final days. I did not. The woman we bury today is not what&rsquo;s in here. I choose not to remember the woman shackled by a failing body. I choose to remember Alice Shain, survivor of Nazi Europe, great grand-mother, student of adventure. I choose to remember the woman who held my hand at the mountaintop of Massada, who bathed in mud and floated effortlessly in the shallows of the dead sea. I choose to remember the woman who brought me every day to eat Kosher Chinese food, not because she liked it, but because she liked that I liked it. I choose to remember the survivor, who fled her native Hungary for the safety of the United States, to live a full and wonderful life, only to travel to Israel with her grandson to plant trees for loved ones lost to Nazi hatred. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">&nbsp;</p> <p class="MsoNormal">You all have your own memories. They will comfort you in the silence of her passing. If there&rsquo;s one lesson to be learned from the life of Alice Shain, it is this. Value people for who they are, and love equally.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">&nbsp;</p> <p class="MsoNormal">We Shain&rsquo;s are no stranger to death. New Montefiore receives another of our legends today. But mourn not for my Alice Shain, my grandmother. She would want none of this.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">&nbsp;</p> <p class="MsoNormal">&nbsp;</p> <p class="MsoNormal">&nbsp;</p> <span class="post_edited"></span> <span class="post_edited"></span>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by FMJeff on 3-13-07 @ 1:44 AM</span>

[johnniewalker]

Very sweet, god bless.

[A.J.]

<p>I'm sorry for your loss Jeff.&nbsp; </p><p>Being 91 means she lived a <em>long</em> life.&nbsp; Your eulogy indicates she lived a <em>rich</em> one as well.</p>

[Gvac]

<p>Sorry to hear about your loss Jeff.&nbsp; That was a touching eulogy and I know where you're coming from.&nbsp; My grandmother passed away on Christmas morning of 2002 and it was brutal on the family, especially my mother.&nbsp; </p><p>Life goes on, however, and as trite as it sounds, the memories of people who deeply touched your life really do keep them alive.&nbsp;</p>

[Friday]

<p>Thanks for posting that.... it was very well put.&nbsp; All my support, my friend.... chin up.</p><p>**hugs**&nbsp;</p>

[ralphbxny]

My condolences brother. Keep ya head up!

[Reephdweller]

Well written Jeff. I'm so sorry for your loss.

[FMJeff]

So the cancer has now spread to my aunt's brain. Looks like its terminal.

[mendyweiss]

<p>Thoughts go out to you man. I lost my mother and brother within 5 months. I know it is tough</p>

[Don Stugots]

Jeff,&nbsp; i read what you wrote.&nbsp; it is very fitting.&nbsp; my words cannot express how sorry i am for you and your family.&nbsp; My you have the strenth to get through these times.&nbsp;

[FMJeff]

so my aunt was pronounced brain dead today. they're keeping her on a respirator and a bed warmer until my cousin can fly in from guam. apparently there's some kind of major storm/tsunami or something and she can't get out of there.

the only good news is there isn't anyone else in my family with any pressing illnesses so i might have a couple of years of peace before i have to go through this shit again.

i still see flashes of her lifeless brain dead body behind my eye lids.

i swear to god im not going out like that. no way.

[PapaBear]

Shit, Jeff. I'm hating this for you. And yes... there was an earthquake and tsunami there.

[Friday]

Jeff.... I am really sorry sweetie.
Hugs and Strength coming your way...