Encounters of the retard kind

[BigFluffyFriend]

Me and my friend went to a rock concert for local bands, to present themselves and whatnot. Well as one of the bands are rocking out my friend starts laughing, taps me on the shoulder, and points out this bald retarded guy who was pretending to play the drums.
I tried not to laugh but, my ass-hole of a friend had to say "Hey check out brother baldey over there! I wonder if he did the beats for Tupoc (probably misspelled)!" I don't why that was funny but I just started breaking down laughing right in front of this retarded guy.

Im not good a telling stories but i was wonder if anyone of you have had funny, akward, maybe even sad retard encounters.

[sr71blackbird]

Was it like this? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSJ8gUsaJuo) :laugh:

[angrymissy]

My brother was in some sort of drama class at the local arts center when he was like 12.

They had a recital.

My sister and I went, and little did we know, before my brothers group went on, a group of "mentally challenged" adults did THEIR recital. The Wizard of Oz and a charming rendition of "I Heard it Through the Grapevine".

Need I say more? We had to step out of the hall.

[A.J.]

This guy in my college dorm used to do a great imitation of Corky (Chris Burke) from "Life Goes On". He used to kill us all the time. Well, one day he's working his magic with some girl and starts doing his "Corky" figuring it'll get a laugh. Turns out the girl's little brother was retarded.

[nevnut]

Me and my friend went to a rock concert for local bands, to present themselves and whatnot. Well as one of the bands are rocking out my friend starts laughing, taps me on the shoulder, and points out this bald retarded guy who was pretending to play the drums.
I tried not to laugh but, my ass-hole of a friend had to say "Hey check out brother baldey over there! I wonder if he did the beats for Tupoc (probably misspelled)!" I don't why that was funny but I just started breaking down laughing right in front of this retarded guy.

Im not good a telling stories but i was wonder if anyone of you have had funny, akward, maybe even sad retard encounters.

Reading this post.

:lol:

[Judge Smails]

Growing up we had a kid who used to ride around town on a big clunky bicycle just like Ron talks about. We used to call him "Frankie the Retard" but that's about it. I can't really remember any instances where anyone was rude to him, in fact we used to go out of our way to be nice. We just figured he was harmless and a complete innocent. Or so we thought.

My first job was working at a Blimpie and I worked with this REALLY cute girl. Frankie would come in all the time to just hang out and talk mostly to her. One day he runs in the door in a panic, screaming "I need a napkin! I need a napkin!" We thought he cut himself or something. The girl leans over the counter to give him some napkins and notices that his hands are covered in jizz. Then Frankie just looks at her and gives a really mischievous smirk. Our manager literally chased him out of the store while weilding the sandwich cutting knife. Good times. Good times.

[Febreeze]

My nephew is my age. He had a challenged fellow, named Mickey, that lived around the block.

A buddy of ours decided to start yelling "Mickey the Tart" over and over as he rounded the corner. What our buddy was never informed of, is what is called "Tart Strength".

Mickey got a good grip on our friend and almost ripped him in half. Lucky for my buddy that my nephew had a neighborly relationship with Mickey, and was able to calm Mickey down.

That never happened again.

[Badinia]

My brother was working in a video rental place, and there was a developmentally delayed fella who was a regular customer. He worked as a janitor at an elementary school in the area. Bro didn't think it was that weird that what he mostly rented were kid's movies.

Except.

He got in trouble at the school for attempted kid touching, and when the police went to his house, he had a videtape collection that the had dubbed from the store, (not so retarted he can't work two VCR's) and on one tape, Little Warriors, about Russian kid wrestlers, he had written in marker "DO NOT TAPE OVER! DO NOT TAPE OVER! THIS IS LITTLE WARRIORS DO NOT TAPE OVER!"


The best part of the story is that now we have a gift idea for Fez!

[PapaBear]

When I was a kid, my aunt's retarded neighbor murdered two women, the got put on death row. I guess it wasn't really all that funny.

[raulfd4]

one time at a party my friend and i were discussing some bit on howard or o&a that involved making fun of someone with downs syndrome.

after the punchline had been delivered i was like, "oh man, it's bad but retarded people are so...." then i looked to my left and noticed this cute girl who i remembered had an older brother with downs syndrome was listening.

luckily my friend was a bit quicker than i was and finished my sentence with "...cool, right?" oh man. so awkward.

[Dougie Brootal]

Was it like this? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSJ8gUsaJuo) :laugh:


that was the funniest goddamn video i have ever seen!:lol:

[BoxerAF]

I was building a bar in Brooklyn that was right next door to a school / daycenter for Speds. I would have an audience of 15 to 20 retards while i would rip down panels of plywood. For whatever reason a table saw soothes a retarded soul. They would watch in awe as I made my passes.

[RapistWit]

My friend told me that he walked into a Papa Ginos bathroom one night to find a retarded worker using the urinal bare assed. Apparently the guy had his pants and underwear around his ankles just standing there doing his buisness.

[ralphbxny]

These stories are freakin awesome!!

[BoxerAF]

haha retarded urinal cakes

[Febreeze]

My friend told me that he walked into a Papa Ginos bathroom one night to find a retarded worker using the urinal bare assed. Apparently the guy had his pants and underwear around his ankles just standing there doing his buisness.

After reading the first sentence, I thought that he was shitting in the urinal. That would have been ridiculous.

[Wallower]

Where I grew up there was a retarded guy in his forties who would walk around town and mutter to himself. He always wore a dirty old Superman t-shirt. One night he was in the bowling alley and this teenager yelled at him, "Superman is dead". This guy was usually really easy going but he just lost his shit that night. It took three men to pull the retarded guy off that teenager.

[Furtherman]

This guy in my college dorm used to do a great imitation of Corky (Chris Burke) from "Life Goes On". He used to kill us all the time. Well, one day he's working his magic with some girl and starts doing his "Corky" figuring it'll get a laugh. Turns out the girl's little brother was retarded.

I went to a wedding once and met a guy who actually worked with Chris Buke. He was the spokesman for the charitable agency he worked at.

He said he was an asshole. Every week he wanted a different office and they HAD to change offices whenever he wanted or he'd throw a fit.

Then, one time they were touring special needs schools and when it was time to have Chris talk to the kids in the audotorium, they couldn't find him. Well they heard some shuffling backstage.

He was having - or at least trying to have - sex with a female student.

As they pulled him off he yelled "I can do this! I'm a big star!"

I feel guilty every time I laugh but goddamn I laugh everytime. This guy told this story and had 30 people in tears.