On my mind.....

[LOAF]

In the past year and a half I lost 3 grandparents, a neighbor i've known since I was young and my best friends mom. My grandparents all lived long meaningful lives and I was more upset for my parents. But its been some time now and I find myself thinking about death ALOT lately. I am turning 30 in a couple years and that adds to it. (I know there are alot of people on here that are older but I am sure you felt the same way?)

To get to the point, I was just wondering if anyone else went through this? I mean I have very scarey thoughts of death on a daily basis, not just my death but my folks as well. I guess the string of recent deaths has me thinking of my own mortality. Do I need therapy or is this a normal thing that will hopefully pass.

[d-rock]

i'm going thru a similar "tramua" (that's what i've been calling it)
6 months ago my 27 year old fiancee had a stroke. she's TOTALLY fine, but everytime i can't get ahold of here when i call (i work away from home for 7 days at a time) the only thing i picture in my head is that she is dead.
the stroke was a huge deal for both of us, and i also had a lot of deaths close to me in the last two years. i just keep hoping that the feeling will pass and (as clicheed as it is) just try to live life to the fullest to get the most from each day.
things like these really tend to put things in perspective and it's important to pull positives from them.
sorry for the long post. i don't mean to hijack your thread, and i hope this might help in some way.

[jetdog]

Wow. That really hit home for me. I'm approaching my thirtieth also, I don't know if that has anything to do with it though, I've always thought about death alot, and have wondered the same thing about therapy. I remember when I was really young, the Haley's comet was in view and everbody was so excited about seeing it, and all I could think was that my forty-something parents would never live to see it come around again. It crippled me and twenty years later I still remember exactly how I felt then. To this day I feel like I think about death more than the average person. But I'm not an unhappy person because of it. I have my moments, particualrly when my father had a massive heart attack last Christmas. But the moments pass, and I go on with life as anybody else would. Hell, I even ride a motorcycle, talk about inducing thoughts about death.

I think what I'm trying to say is that, even if it doesn't pass, I think you will come to grips with it. It's such an incomprehensible part of life, that it just has to overwhelm you somtimes.

[Bossanova]

Im 28. I went through this when I lost both grandfathers a year ago and kinda started thinking about it when my friend was paralysed playing hockey. Even though he wasn't near death it made me think. Its a wierd thing but you will get passed this. Stay strong brother.

[Landblast]

I think it's normal, you just recently experienced loss and it's normal to assess your own mortality, I went through it too. You mourn and you move on, everybody does.

If it becomes an obsession, it's time to take a time out, but I think it's healthy to talk about here. I got stronger, more responsible, as far as taking care of my body getting educated in diets and all that, and preventative precautions. Don't think about therapy, think about being
the healthiest person you can be, that's all you can do. And your still very young Loaf.



edit oh and,.. true sadness and trepidation my good man,.. is being a Washington Capitals fan.

[K.C.]

I'm a bit younger than you, but I've had fairly similar situations.

About two years ago, I was very preoccupied with thinking about death regularly.

But at some point, I reached a comfort zone where I now feel like there's a certain dignity to it, even though that may not be the right word for what I'm trying to say.

To make it short, I've come to terms with it...now, that may wear off when I hit some of the landmark ages like 30, but for now I can handle it.

[ppanda]

Loaf- im not gonna lie to you
I'm kinda going through a doom and gloom phase of my life that has been supressed since my teens. So this might not be very inspirational.
I am 32 and Ive lost ALOT of friends...to suicide, drug overdoses...car crashes...pointless shit. Hell I can count at least a dozen times I should have been dead
I thought about death constantly since I was 12 and in 2 years I lost 1 my grandmother at age 58 when she was in surgery and the surgeon left a piece of gauze in her which caused massive infection and killed her and thenthe next year my uncle was killed by a drunk driver.
Anyway I understand the weight that you are feeling inching on the big Three- O. You satrt analyzing your life and your past and start thinking...shit Im almost half way to retirement. Believe me Ive been there.
Recently a friend of mine who is a year younger than me suffered a heart attack...he survived.. and I was like holy shit!!! But then thinking about it... my friend is at least 90 to a 100 lbs overweight...chain smokes....drinks like a madman... and eats the worst possible food everyday.
Like I said Imgoing to be brutally honest just cuz Im in the same frame of mind right now... I understand why this is on your mind...losing so many people in such a short period of time and I thought turning 30 was gonna be like the end of fun...NOT TRUE...like they say...30's are like the 20's I am having some of the best years of my life. So I would say- dont dwell on death, yes it does pass- and have a good time...all the time.

Sorry for th long reply.
Seeya Budday- and feel free to PM me with any thoughts.- Your not alone.

[reeshy]

Loaf....i recently lost my dad....he was in his eighty's.....I'm 55......i have a few health problems.......I just retired....I want to travel.....but I get depressed when I think about younger people getting concerned about death...like you.....I should have been killed a dozen times with my past job...but it didn't happen.....you just don't know if you will live or die....I had guys shoot at me and try to stab me......well....I'm still here....just live for today .

[ChimneyFish]

I'm 31, LOAF.

Lost my 48 year old mother 3 years back. I have thoughts of death on a daily basis. If it starts to border on an obsession, seek help, but I really think it's just a part of dealing
with loss. It's going to happen. Death is a key part of life.

At the risk of sounding like a cliched ass....try to remember that you really were given a
gift. It's up to you what you do with it.

[Furtherman]

30 came and went without a thought of death. I've lost people. Just realize that when it's over, it's over. It's not like you're going to be sitting somewhere thinking, "Hmmm, I wish I went to New Zealand while I was alive." So what's the point of thinking about it?

Just live for the moment and book your tickets to New Zealand today.

[LOAF]

Thanks everybody for your imput. Its nice to know that other people have these feelings as well and I am not crazy! Its not something that I am obsessing over, its just that the thoughts never had come into my head before and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

[tupper65]

You're NOT crazy. I remember obsessiong on the death of my parents, siblings, myself, when I was around 15. It was a tough time for sure. I couldn't imagine how older people live with the fact that they are closer to death than others. What's gonna happen when my parents die, whats gonna happen when I die, at times it felt like it was too much to handle. It just got to the point where I realized that, as corny as it sounds, death is a part of life. I know that It doesn't make it any easier, but it makes the thought of it more tolerable. If we spend our life worrying about dying, we will waste whatever time we have down here. I'm 41 now and have my own family. I've experienced the deaths of both my sister and my father, and I realized that although you can't change death, you CAN change the way that you deal with it. It's not easy, but you will get through it.

One piece of advice though. You don't know me from a hole in the wall, but if these thoughts start taking control of your life to the point where you can't function normally anymore, PLEASE get some help in handling this.

Good Luck