When did fortune cookies totally give up?

[furie]

I remember a time when fortune cookies actually gave a fortune. Those days are all gone now. Today we usually get an odd saying with a small Chinese language lesson.

but now, they just plain suck. tonight i opened my cookie and was greeting by "Keep on keeping on". While i appreciate the positive urgings i have to say; "What the Fuck"?!

[Don Stugots]

i got one that said "Take is easy, Sleazy."

[Gvac]

I got two fortune cookies last time I ordered out. One said "Keep On' Truckin'" and the other said "Gas, grass, or ass...no one rides for free."

I think they were a little stale.

[reillyluck]

mine just said PANTIES. is that weird?

[Gvac]

Stick to your own hot word.

[reillyluck]

Better?

[Judge Smails]

"Help me! I'm being held prisoner in a fortune cookie factory."

[freakmagnet1313]

You just need to add "in bed" to the end and they get a little beter. besides what do you want of mass produced drivel.

[Gvac]

Marry me Reilly.

End that farce of an engagement and run away with me.

http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s109/GregRotten/Stallion.jpg

[Don Stugots]

Regina's fortune cookie said "Don't have a cow man" and "One Day at a Time."

another one: "Hulkamania is Running Wild."

[Don Stugots]

"Gimme some skin"
"Sock it to me"

[DonInNC]

My fortune cookie down at the Yee-Haw Buffet said "If front porch collapse and two panda die, you might be Red Chinese."

[burrben]

once my dad got one "you will be invited to a karoke party"


i laughed my balls off

[Snacks]

I havent eaten my fortune cookis in a few years. They always seem to be stale and your right the fortumes suck. Not only do they not tell a fortune they try to teach you chinnese and give you #'s to play in the lotto.

[Don Stugots]

"Don't forget that taxes are due by April 15th"

thanks.

[DonInNC]

"Don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya"

I guess they needed the table.

[Death Metal Moe]

I would usually read my fortune, but probably about 10 years ago I got this, and this is no bullshit or joke.

I seriously opened a cookie and got "Eat more Chinese Food" as a fortune.

I was so fucking pissed I could have spit. And I got it MORE THAN ONCE! FUck you Chinese cookie people! Fucking shitdicks, YOU STINK!

[King Hippos Bandaid]

My Fortune was,

save $ 5 Dowwa whens Spending $20 Dowwas or More

Then on the Back were my Lucky #s

2 18 45 34 27

Which I played Mega Millions and Lost.


I loved Fortune Bubble gum, it was the 5 cent gum, that Ice-Cream Men sold, we all would beg for free gum. But those fortunes were
A. in Color
B. More insight

:king:

[Don Stugots]

haha, i loved that gum. it was the right size and tasted great. you just had to get over the initial staleness.

[DonInNC]

I would usually read my fortune, but probably about 10 years ago I got this, and this is no bullshit or joke.

I seriously opened a cookie and got "Eat more Chinese Food" as a fortune.

I was so fucking pissed I could have spit. And I got it MORE THAN ONCE! FUck you Chinese cookie people! Fucking shitdicks, YOU STINK!

Yeah I've gotten that one. I also got a blank one once. That was creepy.

[Reephdweller]

I got one once that said "That was not chicken."

[sr71blackbird]

http://hackvan.com/pub/stig/pix/subversive/fortune--that-wasnt-chicken.jpg

[sr71blackbird]

I think we are twins

[mikeyboy]

Mine just says:

"Me Chinese. Me play joke..."

[reillyluck]

Marry me Reilly.

End that farce of an engagement and run away with me.

http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s109/GregRotten/Stallion.jpg


ahhh, the white horse! how can you say no to that?:wub:

[Gvac]

I seriously opened a cookie and got "Eat more Chinese Food" as a fortune.

A crummy advertisement???

http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s109/GregRotten/ralph_200.jpg

[EffMeBoobs]

Mine just says:

"Me Chinese. Me play joke..."

Me put peepee in your coke?

[Don Stugots]

regina always gets one that says "big boobied women must be careful not to get lobster sauce on blouse."

[ChimneyFish]

No lie, my friend got one that said "You will acquire the car of your dreams".

[A.J.]

ahhh, the white horse! how can you say no to that?:wub:

Black horses are hung better.

[lleeder]

I got one that said "You will find true love on Flag Day" and another one that said "Stick with your wife"

[Snacks]

I would usually read my fortune, but probably about 10 years ago I got this, and this is no bullshit or joke.

I seriously opened a cookie and got "Eat more Chinese Food" as a fortune.

I was so fucking pissed I could have spit. And I got it MORE THAN ONCE! FUck you Chinese cookie people! Fucking shitdicks, YOU STINK!

I opened a few that said that. I laughed my ass off.

[MONICA5579]

I got a cookie that said, "You and your wife will be very happy together."


I didn't know I had a wife!!

[BoondockSaint]

I had Taco Bell for lunch today and I realized that the messages on the sauce packets are now better than fortune cookies. In fact, one even proposed marriage to me, and I am considering it.

[JerseyRich]

Just got a horrible one that said:
"If it seems the fates are against you today, they probably are."

[Dougie Brootal]

"when all of your wishes are granted, many of your dreams will be destroyed."

"you might as well kill yourself, you're already dead."

[topless_mike]

i had one last week that said something like:

iz be in ur forchun cookiezz givin gude engrish

[StupidGirlllll]

I had gotten this one for lunch today
"Keep Legs Closed: Help control the cat & dog population"

[WhistlePig]

My husband got one several years ago that said "Strike While the Iron Is."

I still laugh about that one.

[underdog]

This was the fortune I got at Kowloon a couple of months ago :

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/194/484155571_94cee796a5.jpg

Ha! I didn't even notice that this was the same "fortune" that started this thread.

[Dingbat_Charlie]

years ago I got this one: "You will earn thousands of dollars daily for doing nothing"


I'm still waiting.

[7fttall500+]

I got one that said "You will find true love on Flag Day" and another one that said "Stick with your wife"


Well honey I wanted a divorce till I saw this fortune in a cookie, now everything is all better.

[IamFogHat]

Question When did fortune cookies totally give up?

About 10 years ago, bro.

[Friday]

"You have a reputation for being straightforward and honest"

[Crippler]

Got one last year that read, "Pick another fortune cookie."

[lleeder]

I agree that they don't try any more. Recently me and my friends went out to eat and opened all of our cookies together. We got ; blood, a robin fetus, an eye, a bug like creature and cockroaches. Not the best fortunes.

[Marc with a c]

I got one that had a picture of a fourth grade boys nipples. Below it read "chinese japanese dirty knees look at these"

[Furtherman]

Mine said "Check your Coke".

[Doctor Z]

My last fortune cookie warned me of impending diarrhea.

[Doctor Z]

and it was right.

[Yerdaddy]

Mine said: "You can read?"

[CaptClown]

Mine asked me if I wanted a happy ending.

[Judge Smails]

We had Chinese last night and both my wife and I got the same exact message: "You should go on a diet tomorrow." WTF is that!? You know what? I'm actually going to take that advice. Just see if I'll be ordering any Chinese anytime soon, ya Moe Howard looking little fucks.