i don't get girls...

[weekapaugjz]

holy fuck, i am so thrown off right now. i don't know what to expect to hear from this girl.

so i have a first date with this girl i had my eye on for a little while. i had met her during a class last summer during smoke breaks and thought it was just a friendship from there. i had seen her at school a few times during last semester and talked for a good 10 mins every time i saw her. so about a month ago i saw her and she asked for my email to go out sometime.

from that we exchanged a few e-mails and decided to go out last friday night. i honestly had the best time out with her. i have been down on my luck for a while and looked forward to going out. we went out to watch the sabres hockey game that night. all in all in comes to me staying over at her place that night. nothing serious, 2nd base at most.

next time i see her is on sunday evening for the yankees red sox game. she is a huge baseball fan. we were at the bar for a while having fun, hanging out, watching the game, playing darts (she kicked my ass) etc. i stayed at her place again, not even going past 1st base this time. i had to go up to school the same time as her on monday morning so i drove her up to school. we were in the library for a while and ended up grabing lunch together.

i ended up seeing her on wednesday up at school because she was there and and i needed to get to the library. i walked her to her class and got a kiss on the cheek so i thought all was going well.

the plans for this friday (tonight) was that she was going to go out with some friends that she hadn't seen in a while. i ended up meeting up with johnniewalker and having a good ol time. at about 12 i meet up with the girl at a bar and hang out for a while. i end up walking her back to her place (which is right around the corner from me). i take her inside and try to give her a kiss goodnight and that's when shit hits the fan.

she tells me that she doesn't think she is into this as much as i am. she doesn't want anything serious, etc., etc, etc, but i haven't heard this the previous three time we have hung out. i really tried to keep it low key because i didn't want to smother her at all, which i have done with past relationships. she pretty much told me that "she didn't see the same thing i saw going forward" (she said this while and after we had been making out)

i have had so much fun hanging out with this girl i can't even explain it and i really want to try to make it work. i am so confused right now of where to go from here. i called her after i got to my place and told her how much it meant to me the last week hanging out, etc. it seemed from what she said she wasn't looking for a relationship right now and i was moving kind of fast.

how am i supposed to deal with this. this is the first time ive hung out with a girl in over a year and a half and have really started to connect with this girl.

im just looking for some advice from here and how to take this right now. i am kind of devastated right now because i thought things had been going so well.

i really appreciate any comments and feedback and ask any questions that weren't fully described.

thanks so much,
-jz

[PapaBear]

Either she has her mind on someone else, or she's playing a game with you. Both options are not good, but it doesn't mean you should drop her. You should, be very cautious. If you don't feel capable of dealing with the "games", the drop her now. Chances are, it will go nowhere. In any case... don't let it bring you down. It's a learning experience. At least you're trying.

[JesterOfSadness]

Either she has her mind on someone else, or she's playing a game with you. Both options are not good, but it doesn't mean you should drop her. You should, be very cautious. If you don't feel capable of dealing with the "games", the drop her now. Chances are, it will go nowhere. In any case... don't let it bring you down. It's a learning experience. At least you're trying.

I kinda had the same experience Week had, and was told almost the same shit papabear did. For me, she was playing a game, but in the end I got the door slammed in my face. (She ended up going back with her abusive boyfriend). Usually I would take it pretty bad (lolz emo time), but as Papa said, its a learning experience. Few days go by and I was fine. We still talk n all, but it's usually down to the "hi" n "bye."

Overall, I know how you feel man.

[Bulldogcakes]

how am i supposed to deal with this. this is the first time ive hung out with a girl in over a year and a half and have really started to connect with this girl.

im just looking for some advice from here and how to take this right now. i am kind of devastated right now because i thought things had been going so well.

i really appreciate any comments and feedback and ask any questions that weren't fully described.

Dude, she's just not into you. It happens. I'll bet you've had girls that were into you but you just didn't feel the same and kinda blew them off, well now you know how it feels from the other side.
To be honest, I think you should date more often. You said you were coming off a long period of inactivity and you really made a big deal out of this one. It wouldn't be such a big deal if you were dating more often. And they don't have to all be "perfect", like you thought this one was. Keep an open mind and you might find you really enjoy being with someone who doesn't knock your socks off at first.

As far as dealing with it goes, I'd suggest large quantities of drugs, alcohol and hookers. If you cant afford all that, just get one big fat drunk hooker.

[sailor]

to me it sounds like she's into you, but just needs a little space. i thought calling her was a little odd after she told you that (shades of swingers?). give her some time and see if she wants to go out in a week or two.

if she's seeing something you said you've done in previous relationships, maybe you should take a hard look at what's giving her this impression. she's probably not inventing it.

[J.Clints]

Hey WEEK just sit back play it cool. (dont call or go see her) Make her want to be with you and think that you dont care. She will change her mind from there.
Good luck bro.

[Jughead]

I think you did everything right...She just might not be the one...But don't give up! Its a fact there is someone out there looking for you......It will happen if you just keep looking...and talking, and you might get stung a few times But believe me she is out there!! You are one of my best buddddiieess on here I hate to see ya having heart pains!!!

[burrben]

Hey WEEK just sit back play it cool. (dont call or go see her) Make her want to be with you and think that you dont care. She will change her mind from there.
Good luck bro.

i agree

[Chainsaw]

My best advice...move on. Don't close the door on her, but don't put all your eggs into this basket. You'll end up driving yourself crazy and making yourself depressed....

When a girl is into, you know it. Trust me. There won't be any talk of moving too fast or anything like that. Sadly, there is a girl who is really into me (I'm really not trying to be arrogant), and I like hanging out with her and being her friend, but she calls all the time, etc...etc... and I found myself saying that "I just got out of a relationship...let's just take this slow and see what happens". If I really liked this girl, I wouldn't have uttered a single word like that.

I know what it's like to really, really like a girl but she's not as interested as you are. The best thing to do is to give her some space. You'll really see what she thinks then. But always be careful, girls love to have someone to hang out with, buy them drinks/dinner, tell them they're pretty,etc..and if they can do all that while keeping you at a distance with "let's take this slow" or "let's be friends first" statements, then they're having their cake and eating it too...

I won't make this post too long, I could go on. I used to have very little self-confidence and would find myself in relationship purgatory like you....I'll never pretend to know girls, but what she said to you sent off huge warning signs/lights for me. She probably honestly believes that a switch will go off in her head and she'll be head over heels for you like you are for her. Sadly, I've never seen that happen, or had that happen to me.

The good news is that there a ton of great women out there. It takes awhile to find them, but when you do: 1) you'll know it 2) she'll know it 3) it was worth every bit of the wait to find her

[drjoek]

*If You Love Something Variations*


THE ORIGINAL VERSION: If you love something, Set it free... If it comes back, it's yours, If it doesn't, it never was yours....


THE PESSIMIST VERSION: If you love somebody, Set her free ... If she ever comes back, she's yours, If she doesn't, well, as expected, she never was.


THE OPTIMIST VERSION: If you love somebody, Set her free ... Don't worry, she will come back.


THE SUSPICIOUS VERSION: If you love somebody, Set her free ... If she ever comes back, ask her why.


THE IMPATIENT VERSION: If you love somebody, Set her free ... If she doesn't comes back within some time limit, forget her.


THE PATIENT VERSION: If you love somebody, Set her free ... If she doesn't come back, continue to wait until she comes back ...


THE PLAYFUL VERSION: If you love somebody, Set her free ... If she comes back, and if you love her still, set her free again, repeat


THE LAWYER'S VERSION: If you love somebody, Set her free... Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the second amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that...


THE BILL GATES VERSION: If you love somebody, Set her free... If she comes back, I think we can charge her for re-installation fees and tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade.


THE STATISTICIAN'S VERSION:: If you love somebody, Set her free... If she loves you, the probability of her coming back is high If she doesn't, your relationship was improbable anyway.


THE POSSESSIVE VERSION: If you love somebody don't ever set her free.


THE MBA VERSION: If you love somebody set her free... instantaneously... and look for others simultaneously.


THE PSYCHOLOGIST'S VERSION: If you love somebody set her free... If she comes back, her super ego is dominant If she doesn't come, back her id is supreme If she doesn't go, she must be crazy.


THE FINANCE EXPERT VERSION: If you love somebody set her free... If she comes back, its time to look for fresh loans. If she doesn't, write her off as an asset gone bad.


THE MARKETING VERSION: If you love somebody set her free... If she comes back, she has brand loyalty If she doesn't, reposition the brand in new markets.

[weekapaugjz]

to me it sounds like she's into you, but just needs a little space. i thought calling her was a little odd after she told you that (shades of swingers?). give her some time and see if she wants to go out in a week or two.


yeah, i was on the drunk side when i called her afterwords. probably not a good idea.

the thing that is still really confusing me is that she has initiated most of the contact when we have gone out. she went out with friends of hers last night then texted me to see where i was and came and met up with me. i didnt try getting her to meet up with me. so i thought that was a good sign.

she is usually the one who calls me first or sends me the first text message. ive tried so far to not be the guy who calls her everyday and seem like the obsessive guy like i have in the past. so when she made the first contact most days, i thought it was a good sign that she liked me and like hanging out with me. that is what confused me so much about last night.

i really want to call and talk to her about it but from some of the advice i hear, i should lay back a bit. should i call today or no?

[sailor]

yeah, i was on the drunk side when i called her afterwords. probably not a good idea.

the thing that is still really confusing me is that she has initiated most of the contact when we have gone out. she went out with friends of hers last night then texted me to see where i was and came and met up with me. i didnt try getting her to meet up with me. so i thought that was a good sign.

she is usually the one who calls me first or sends me the first text message. ive tried so far to not be the guy who calls her everyday and seem like the obsessive guy like i have in the past. so when she made the first contact most days, i thought it was a good sign that she liked me and like hanging out with me. that is what confused me so much about last night.

i really want to call and talk to her about it but from some of the advice i hear, i should lay back a bit. should i call today or no?

do not call, especially if she's in the habit of calling you.

btw, my wife originally didn't go out with me because i was a little older than her and she knew i was looking for something more serious. eventually, we got together and things worked out.

[Death Metal Moe]

Girls are fucked up, it happens man.

[Chainsaw]

Girls are fucked up, it happens man.

and you'll drive yourself crazy trying to figure them out...

Girls have been known to be attention-seekers. I've seen it happen to many of my friends (and myself). They find someone who makes them feel good about themselves, however, not necessarily who they want to date...

How you feel about this girl...you want a girl who feels the same about you.

[Death Metal Moe]

and you'll drive yourself crazy trying to figure them out...

Girls have been known to be attention-seekers. I've seen it happen to many of my friends (and myself). They find someone who makes them feel good about themselves, however, not necessarily who they want to date...

How you feel about this girl...you want a girl who feels the same about you.

Bingo. I wish had a prize closet because you'd be winning something from it.

I remember this one chick in High School. She was flirting with me big time. She's sending a lot of signals. She's changing her shirt next to me in my car as I give her a ride home. I get her phone number and call. Suddenly she has to take another call from her ex boyfriend.

That was the last time I ever called her and about the last time I ever said more that 3 words to her.

[cougarjake13]

yeah, i was on the drunk side when i called her afterwords. probably not a good idea.

the thing that is still really confusing me is that she has initiated most of the contact when we have gone out. she went out with friends of hers last night then texted me to see where i was and came and met up with me. i didnt try getting her to meet up with me. so i thought that was a good sign.

she is usually the one who calls me first or sends me the first text message. ive tried so far to not be the guy who calls her everyday and seem like the obsessive guy like i have in the past. so when she made the first contact most days, i thought it was a good sign that she liked me and like hanging out with me. that is what confused me so much about last night.

i really want to call and talk to her about it but from some of the advice i hear, i should lay back a bit. should i call today or no?


i'd say dont call

like other posters have said make her wait and think its no big deal that you havent talked

you have to play it like you're the one in control even if you're not

dont tip your hand, if she does break down and call you even then dont rush into asking her questions about whats going on and her mixed signals

just be calm and just act like its no big deal

[weekapaugjz]

i just got a text from her about how stupid the training she had to go to today was.

nothing really. i really want to call but im thinking i would just bring up last night again. she has to work the overnight shift for work tonight so the next time i would get to call her would be tomorrow afternoon. im thinking of just waiting for tomorrow and see if she calls me.

[sailor]

i just got a text from her about how stupid the training she had to go to today was.

nothing really. i really want to call but im thinking i would just bring up last night again. she has to work the overnight shift for work tonight so the next time i would get to call her would be tomorrow afternoon. im thinking of just waiting for tomorrow and see if she calls me.

please say you didn't text back! and if it comes up "oh, yeah, i saw that...i was just too busy to get back to ya."

[cougarjake13]

please say you didn't text back! and if it comes up "oh, yeah, i saw that...i was just too busy to get back to ya."

what sailor said

[weekapaugjz]

please say you didn't text back! and if it comes up "oh, yeah, i saw that...i was just too busy to get back to ya."

:wallbash: :wallbash: :wallbash:

damn it! i am way to impatient. i did text her back. i am extremely weak willed. but i figured it was better than calling. all i sent her was asking if she was going to watch the yankees game.

[AngelAmy]

i dont know this chick or anything but it looks like she is playing games and she loves the attention she is getting from you.

i know its hard but dont contact her for a few days and see what happens.

[sailor]

:wallbash: :wallbash: :wallbash:

damn it! i am way to impatient. i did text her back. i am extremely weak willed. but i figured it was better than calling. all i sent her was asking if she was going to watch the yankees game.

it's cool. and much better than calling. next time, tho.

[milliehatchett]

i dont know this chick or anything but it looks like she is playing games and she loves the attention she is getting from you.

i know its hard but dont contact her for a few days and see what happens.


I agree with Amy - don't be so available to her. When she texts - you don't have to text back and when she calls, let her wait a day or two before hearing back from you. That is, if you want to be with a girl who plays these kinds of games. She is either really immature or she's not as into you as you are to her.

[AngelAmy]

just to add, now that she has put it out there you will have to wait for her to make the next move, i know its not what you wanna hear but she did push you away for a reason.

dont give her the satisfaction of playing into this game, though, its so not worth it.

[lleeder]

I think you fucked up by not just goin full out and trying to sleep with this girl the first night you hung out with her. You played everything up like you were developing a relationship with her when all she really wanted was something quick. You should not be friends with her texting back and forth and such. Hang out with her, sleep with her and forget her.

[johnniewalker]

Wow, is it a good thing or a bad thing i don't remember most of this going on? Ha. What kind of personality does she have? Is she the kind of girl that is very hesitant to enter a relatonship? I think that type of girl you could maybe lay it low and maybe try and turn it around in a while. It sucks b/c your in a fucked up position where anything you do could potentially make it worse. Maybe let her cool off for a couple of days and maybe try something casual like going out to eat for lunch. Something that is quick and doesn't put her in a pressure situation. Hopefully you can turn this around.

[Friday]

as sad as i am to say this... i have to agree a bit with Lleeder.

Not that you should see her as a sex object exclusively. But she is clearly not thinking of you in any long term sense except to savor the attention she is getting from you until something more enticing comes along.
Believe me. I have done this.

I say.. if you can see her as friends and enjoy it then do so. But if she gets another guy and that is going to eff with your head... then don't go there sweetie. Cause then you are in for a world of hurt.

Play it cool. Be unavailable. If she sees your merit, then she will find you... and if she doesn't then she is not for you. Not now anyway.

Use your anger to show your man feathers (a la the peacock) and go out there and meet other chicks. We are out there waiting for you! (well.. not me... but other adorable girls to kiss are waiting....i guarantee)

[narc]

Definitely sounds like she's a goer. If so, then this is going to turn into a playing contest between you. She definitely likes you, but maybe doesn't see you as boyfriend material.
I would ignore her. You don't need to necessarily to go out and getting with any girl you possibly can. Just don't talk to her and show her that you're more than just a dick in a box.

[MrPink]

Just fuckin leave that chick. You probably made out with her before because she was fucked up. If she doesn't want to fuck with you, drop it and move on. You gotta know when to say "fuck it".

[lleeder]

as sad as i am to say this... i have to agree a bit with Lleeder.


Yes!!! 10 points for me FACE! FACE!

[JackoTouchedMe]

I understand where you're coming from. This one broad broke up with her boyfriend for me, and then two weeks later she doesn't want to date anybody. I think it was a bullshit excuse to get back with her ex, but at least I got some good bye ass from her. She wanted to be friends, and I basically told her I don't need anymore friends. The only way she'll know how she feels about you is if she sees you with another broad. I say try that or fuck one of her girlfriends. When a chick breaks up with me I always try to fuck one of their girlfriends. Even if they don't find out about it, it still makes me everything feel a hell of a lot better. I suggest you try the same thing.

[weekapaugjz]

alright, ive tried to take a bunch of peoples advice here and tried to limit my contact with this girl over the last few days. only have sent maybe 6 texts over the last two days (but only answering her texts, which came first)

so on sunday afternoon, i got the first text about she wanted "to go to a bar to watch the game and needed someone to be "irresponsible" with. i simply returned i had to do some work for school and couldn't.

then about 8 i got another message seeing if i wanted to walk down to the mexican place to get some dinner. i sent back that i just had dinner, which i did.

this is confusing me because she said I was the one moving to fast and had to slow things down on friday night but then wants to meet up with me on two separate occasions. wtf?

then she me a message today saying she had one more class tonight, i think just looking for small talk.

im really confused where to take it from here. should i call her in the next few days or wait until she calls me?


i really appreciate all the advice from this thread. i would have already totally ruined this thing if left to my own devices...

[johnniewalker]

See you guys are a bunch of negative nancies. Im talking to you fat sunny and lleeder. Ha. The only thing i thought was maybe to let that cool down and maybe start off maybe with something brief and then work your way back up. I don't think there is any set rules or anything just step back and think whether your going to get yourself into a potentially awkward situation with her bringing this thing back up. Im sure it will inevitably be brought back up, but she must still have interest in you. I don't think it would hurt to ask her to go get some food or something brief.

[Gvac]

Weeks, I feel for you bro. Younger women are insane. Once they feel that you're chasing them they want no part of you. If you remain aloof, they start to chase you.

It makes no sense to the logical male brain, but that's just the way it is. The cooler you play it, the more interest she'll have.

Don't worry, though...as they get older women generally stop playing mind games.

Hang in there, and best of luck.

[lleeder]

alright, ive tried to take a bunch of peoples advice here and tried to limit my contact with this girl over the last few days. only have sent maybe 6 texts over the last two days (but only answering her texts, which came first)

so on sunday afternoon, i got the first text about she wanted "to go to a bar to watch the game and needed someone to be "irresponsible" with. i simply returned i had to do some work for school and couldn't.


This is code for she wanted you to get drunk and bang her. I say hang out with her one time this week make it very obvious that she is a sexual object and you are willing to treat her that way. Go fast and close the deal. Then avoid texting her or answering texts. Only 6 is still more than none. If she was impressed with how you ravaged her she'll be looking for more of you if not you can move onto someone else.

[RoseBlood]

See you guys are a bunch of negative nancies. Im talking to you fat sunny and lleeder. Ha. The only thing i thought was maybe to let that cool down and maybe start off maybe with something brief and then work your way back up. I don't think there is any set rules or anything just step back and think whether your going to get yourself into a potentially awkward situation with her bringing this thing back up. Im sure it will inevitably be brought back up, but she must still have interest in you. I don't think it would hurt to ask her to go get some food or something brief.

lleeder has responded to this thread, Fat_Sunny has not. Wait... Heeeeyyyy!!!

I get it nnoow... :rolleyes:

[weekapaugjz]

This is code for she wanted you to get drunk and bang her. I say hang out with her one time this week make it very obvious that she is a sexual object and you are willing to treat her that way.

thats the thing, i think its completely opposite from this. in response to your other post in this thread, i tried closing the deal the first night and she wouldn't let it go past second. so the other times i was with her, i didn't try to push it cause i didn't want to take it "too fast". that's why i was in such confusion on friday night.

[sailor]

This is code for she wanted you to get drunk and bang her. I say hang out with her one time this week make it very obvious that she is a sexual object and you are willing to treat her that way. Go fast and close the deal. Then avoid texting her or answering texts. Only 6 is still more than none. If she was impressed with how you ravaged her she'll be looking for more of you if not you can move onto someone else.

it's not all aboot sex. a lot, but not all.

[crabbyjohn]

You tried to kiss her? what did you miss her lips? Dude you should have forced yourself on her told her to stfu and that in a few minutes she would be enjoying it!

Guys today are such pussies!....man invented date rape for a reason!

[weekapaugjz]

You tried to kiss her? what did you miss her lips? Dude you should have forced yourself on her told her to stfu and that in a few minutes she would be enjoying it!

Guys today are such pussies!....man invented date rape for a reason!

wow, you're a classy guy...

[Jujubees2]

You tried to kiss her? what did you miss her lips? Dude you should have forced yourself on her told her to stfu and that in a few minutes she would be enjoying it!

Guys today are such pussies!....man invented date rape for a reason!

Damn, you must be a chick magnet!

[sailor]

Damn, you must be a chick magnet!

that's the beauty of his plan. he doesn't NEED to be.

[nate1000]

thats the thing, i think its completely opposite from this. in response to your other post in this thread, i tried closing the deal the first night and she wouldn't let it go past second. so the other times i was with her, i didn't try to push it cause i didn't want to take it "too fast". that's why i was in such confusion on friday night.

Dude,
This chick has already put you through more than she's worth. Call the next number: "Now serving #XX"

If something falls into your lap from this chick -great. But focus your attention elsewhere. If she's jerking your chain this much before sleeping with you- there is way too much downside risk here. Keep it light and find something else to do.

[ralphbxny]

Use her like she is using you. Text her if you feel like gettin laid. Dont make her your one. She is only going to hurt you. Have fun but protect the old heart.

[Jujubees2]

http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/ch/1991/ch910206.gif

[weekapaugjz]

http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/ch/1991/ch910206.gif

that's great. that just made my day.

[Furtherman]

Walk away.

This is obviously causing you a lot of heartbreak. Worth it for someone who wasn't into you in the first place? NO.

She's in it for the attention.

The best case senario, you ignore her completley, she misses your attention, and she'll jump you.

But she will leave you after that. You think she's breaking your heart now? Wait until she stops paying attention to you and starts this all up again with someone else.

Walk away.

[weekapaugjz]

Worth it for someone who wasn't into you in the first place? NO.



the thing is, she is the one that initiated anything going on to start with. she got my email when i saw her one day. she asked me out the first time. she told me she wanted to go out with me the first time i met her.

[Furtherman]

the thing is, she is the one that initiated anything going on to start with. she got my email when i saw her one day. she asked me out the first time. she told me she wanted to go out with me the first time i met her.

But you went to kiss her and she said she wasn't as in to it as you are?

If that's the way it went down, I wouldn't waste your time any more, find someone who IS into you.

[weekapaugjz]

But you went to kiss her and she said she wasn't as in to it as you are?

If that's the way it went down, I wouldn't waste your time any more, find someone who IS into you.

that's true, but then she kept on kissing me for a few minutes afterward.

[Furtherman]

Look, the fact that you have to go and find a lot of advice as to what you should do shows too much of a problem in the first place.

Time to show your cards. Tell her, hey, you want to date? Go out on dates? See if we can make something here.

If she's not sure, she's not sure and it's time to move on.

Do not waste your time wondering if you do this or do that, it might work out. SHE had to want it to work out in order for it to. If she doesn't, then walk away.

[AngelAmy]

shes fucking with your brain weeka, dont give her the satisfaction.

[MM2]

Its true that some girls can actually be very into you and want to have a relationship, but aren't ready for applying labels and giving up some of their independence. My current girlfriend is 22 and has concentrated on school for the past 5 years and is about to recieve her masters. During that time she had one or two relationships that lasted 2 or 3 months. So she's never had what I would call a long term relationship. When we first started dating we went through the dating history and I'm 25 and have had two 3 year relationships, which blew her mind. We dated pretty seriously for a few months before she would even commit to being in a relationship. But it was just the label, she wasn't afraid of being only with me, she wanted to be with me, she was just afraid of the label and thinking that she had to give something up. So it can happen that way, but from my experience its very very rare.

On to your situation, I don't feel like this is the same thing that is happening with your girl. To me it really sounds like she's into you, and likes being with you, but in no way wants a relationship. From what she's told you, it sounds like she is allowing herself to not have to feel guilty when she inevitably breaks your heart. By laying it on the line that she's not interested in anything serious, it allows her to be guilt free if she suddenly finds another guy to spend time with because "hey, we were never dating".

My advice would be to go ahead and have fun with her and just don't let your heart get in the way. If you are really looking for a serious relationship, then move on, this girl isn't looking for that.

[Friday]

Girls are poop.

[King Hippos Bandaid]

Women, Can't Live with them

End Quote

:king:

[ScottFromGA]

holy fuck, i am so thrown off right now. i don't know what to expect to hear from this girl.

so i have a first date with this girl i had my eye on for a little while. i had met her during a class last summer during smoke breaks and thought it was just a friendship from there. i had seen her at school a few times during last semester and talked for a good 10 mins every time i saw her. so about a month ago i saw her and she asked for my email to go out sometime.

from that we exchanged a few e-mails and decided to go out last friday night. i honestly had the best time out with her. i have been down on my luck for a while and looked forward to going out. we went out to watch the sabres hockey game that night. all in all in comes to me staying over at her place that night. nothing serious, 2nd base at most.

next time i see her is on sunday evening for the yankees red sox game. she is a huge baseball fan. we were at the bar for a while having fun, hanging out, watching the game, playing darts (she kicked my ass) etc. i stayed at her place again, not even going past 1st base this time. i had to go up to school the same time as her on monday morning so i drove her up to school. we were in the library for a while and ended up grabing lunch together.

i ended up seeing her on wednesday up at school because she was there and and i needed to get to the library. i walked her to her class and got a kiss on the cheek so i thought all was going well.

the plans for this friday (tonight) was that she was going to go out with some friends that she hadn't seen in a while. i ended up meeting up with johnniewalker and having a good ol time. at about 12 i meet up with the girl at a bar and hang out for a while. i end up walking her back to her place (which is right around the corner from me). i take her inside and try to give her a kiss goodnight and that's when shit hits the fan.

she tells me that she doesn't think she is into this as much as i am. she doesn't want anything serious, etc., etc, etc, but i haven't heard this the previous three time we have hung out. i really tried to keep it low key because i didn't want to smother her at all, which i have done with past relationships. she pretty much told me that "she didn't see the same thing i saw going forward" (she said this while and after we had been making out)

i have had so much fun hanging out with this girl i can't even explain it and i really want to try to make it work. i am so confused right now of where to go from here. i called her after i got to my place and told her how much it meant to me the last week hanging out, etc. it seemed from what she said she wasn't looking for a relationship right now and i was moving kind of fast.

how am i supposed to deal with this. this is the first time ive hung out with a girl in over a year and a half and have really started to connect with this girl.

im just looking for some advice from here and how to take this right now. i am kind of devastated right now because i thought things had been going so well.

i really appreciate any comments and feedback and ask any questions that weren't fully described.

thanks so much,
-jz


my two cents....

shes not into you or she's afraid to be in anything serious right now.......dont allow yourself to put out on a spot so this kinda situation can happen to you. Be her friend more than anything......and just be there for her when need be. Its tough to be turned down after you thought everything was going fine, I've been there. Just don't turn bitter and be hateful to her...........I did that to a girl that I thought was perfect for me, we was great friends that started to develop over time and then she turned on me like yours did, it fucking sucked. So the next few weeks, she wanted to be back like friends and I was crushed...I didnt wanna be just friends, i wanted more. So I treated her really bad, REALLY bad....

at my moms wake, this girl came there to support me in my time of sadness after years of us two not talking....we sat and talked for a long time about our life and where it had taken us............she told me how she messed up by not taking me and said it was cause of her stupid, childlike antics, granted....we was young at the time. Then she said that if I didnt treat her as bad as I did, I coulda had her back at anytime...nice fucking time to tell me...

so....my point is, dont turn bitter on her...her feelings could change and she might come running after you, who knows?

or if she doesnt.......plenty of pussy in the barrel....a few tunas, too. Just add soap and water.

[Falling Pyramid]

Hey i am super new to this board so i dont know any of you. But in reading this thread my advice would be to listen to your own heart. If it aches mend it. If she said no move on. If its maybe still move on. If she cant see you for what you are worth (not money wise) then maybe she is shallow. I dont know this women but have known many like her. These kind know the game and the few txt's she sends keeps you hanging on just that much more. Tell me during a period of the day do you stop thinking of her and then when the txt comes you start all over again? Keep in mind the old saying "Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me." Dont let there be a third! Women are out there time is your only friend at the moment. Learn to accept that and you will be better off. Especially if it happens again which is always a possibility. Just to sum it up "Learn to except". and i am not saying that to sound mean just honest. Anyway goodluck with the rest of this Mona Lisa!

[Angelfuck]

it sounds like she finds you attractive and wanted to get to know you, now it seems like you guys have slipped into a relationship in a matter of weeks. just let her know that you like her a lot and you enjoy spending time with her. tell her you dont have to label it, just two people hanging out enjoying each others company. This is nothing compared to some of the fucked up relationship problems Ive seen on wackbag. Shes just scared, all girls are scared when it comes to relationships, I once dumped a guy I really liked for talking about what we were going to do in the summer during winter, scared the shit out of me.

[K.C.]

I'd say you owe it to yourself to try one more time if you dig the chick...if you come to the conclusion she's messing with your head this time, I'd just lay it out for her that you don't really want to get caught up in a bunch of games.

It's probably the best option on the table...if you don't do something, it'll bug you for a while thinking maybe she was waiting there for you, and if you go way over the deep end the other way, you could look like a pretty big fool.

So just play it cool, go out with the chick and see where it goes this time, but tell yourself as you're going in that you have a specific set of goals with this chick and if you don't hit them, then it's time to get out for good.

[ppanda]

Budday- all I can say is that I empathize with you.
My last 3 realationships were the same way. One of them I found out just got out of an engagement 3 months prior...so yes, I was looking for a relationship and she was not.
Woman are a riddle.
Recently I have been concentrating on myself and I've found that when you put the girl second fiddle to your life (essentailly ignoring them) they try harder for you.
I havent followed through with any of them (Im not gay) because like I mentioned I want to get my own life straightened out.
Bottom line is budday- I dont understand them either- but just something to consider (not knowing the girls history prior to you) maybe you think you weren't smothering her but to her you were?

[weekapaugjz]

yeah, so i think this whole thing has run it's course. she came over to my place last tuesday night to watch the end of the sabres game. i asked her about the conversation we had the other night and pretty much told her i didn't want to waste my time if she didn't see the relationship moving forward beyond friends. i told her i wasn't looking to get involved in anything serious, but told her that everytime we hung out i liked her even more, so if she wasn't willing to even give it a chance, i didn't want to waste my time. she said a bunch of shit how she has been in school for so long and not being with anyone for awhile. i told her that was fine.

i then talked to her on thurs night for about five minutes on thurs. night. and exchanged 1 text with her on fri. afternoon. i wanted to see if she would call me at all over the weekend and here it is tuesday night without a peep.

so im guessing she thought about it and didn't want to pursue anything. oh well, it all sucks cause i really had a great time hanging out with this chick and would have liked to see how things would have turned out (either good or bad, just wanted a chance)

i appreciate all the advice i have gotten from the buddays here, cause as stated in one of my previous posts, this whole thing would have ended a lot sooner if left to my own devices...

[Jeff Bridges]

Hmmmm
sounds like your in the friend zone at this time
what made her feel smothered? was it your staying over???
why have you not gone any futher then secound base??
I say go for it all
but never sleep at her place again
if she likes your company and likes being with you but is afraid of a relationship then give her attention and get sex but do not stay till the morning and let her change her mind if she wants to be with you
if you do not push this till you are happy with the results you will regret it
if you push too far and she says no then you know you did not have a chance but at least you know

Stephen

aka Jeff Bridges

[Angelfuck]

i then talked to her on thurs night for about five minutes on thurs. night. and exchanged 1 text with her on fri. afternoon. i wanted to see if she would call me at all over the weekend and here it is tuesday night without a peep.


are you crazy or do you really not like her? call her!! Jeff Bridges is right. She may not be ready but shes into you, so if you like her you owe it to yourself to pursue it because she didnt really shut you down. Ask her if she wants to go to carvel, wednesdays are buy one get one free sundaes :D

[weekapaugjz]

are you crazy or do you really not like her? call her!! Jeff Bridges is right. She may not be ready but shes into you, so if you like her you owe it to yourself to pursue it because she didnt really shut you down. Ask her if she wants to go to carvel, wednesdays are buy one get one free sundaes :D

i actually just tried calling her on my way home from work and left a message. i was going to see if she wanted to go out to watch the sabres game tomorrow night or grab some dinner on friday night.

damn, i dont think there are any carvels around here. that sounds like a great idea.

[Angelfuck]

you could always go to a regular ice cream shop and pay full price :p

[weekapaugjz]

you could always go to a regular ice cream shop and pay full price :p

im just waiting for a call back first...

[weekapaugjz]

i really am a sucker when it comes to girls. i probably sound like such a whiny cunt in this thread. ahhhh! (i know this is long but if you don't want to read it, hit the back button now.)

its been a few weeks since i posted in this thread so i thought i would let everyone know what a sucker i am and see what kind of feedback i can get.

so a couple weeks ago i told this girl i really didn't want to waste my time if she just wanted to be friends and couldn't see anything going forward. she said the typical shit like she hadn't had a boyfriend in a while blah blah blah and would think about it. about a week went by before any contact and called to meet up for lunch on a sat. went and had a great time.

talked to her a few more times and she came over to watch the yanks/red sox game at my place last monday night. she is the biggest baseball fan i have ever met, its pretty sweet being able to talk baseball with a chick. so we watched the game and in the process killed a case and a few j's. had a great fucking time, we were pretty much laughing the entire time at each other's retarded jokes. so 7 turned into 130 pretty quick and she wanted to take off. i walked her home around the block and went in for a good night kiss. completely fucking denied. was pretty pissed.

then she calls up on wed. night to watch the last yanks/sox game and because the sucker that i am i tell her to come over. drink a bunch of beers having a good time. game ends and a friend calls her up and tells her to meet her at the bar. she doesn't even ask if i want to come. whatever.

so comes today, and she came with me over to my brothers place for a bbq and drinks. again, have a fantastic time hanging out with her. hang out all afternoon then came back to my place to watch the yanks/jays game. walk her home and didn't try to make a kiss cause of the awkwardness from last monday.

i really want to stay friends with this girl because we have such a great time hanging out. i don't really have many friends in town to hang out with so its great hanging out with someone to laugh with. it sucks cause everytime she looks over at me i want to fucking kiss her so bad.

i don't know if i should just bite the bullet and stay friends and stop trying to hook up or tell her how i feel and just not hang out with her because i want to take it past a friendship. i don't know what's worse, being a miserable fuck sitting home alone or hanging out with a girl who just wants to be friends.

[epo]

i really want to stay friends with this girl because we have such a great time hanging out. i don't really have many friends in town to hang out with so its great hanging out with someone to laugh with. it sucks cause everytime she looks over at me i want to fucking kiss her so bad.

i don't know if i should just bite the bullet and stay friends and stop trying to hook up or tell her how i feel and just not hang out with her because i want to take it past a friendship. i don't know what's worse, being a miserable fuck sitting home alone or hanging out with a girl who just wants to be friends.

My man you are deep into the friend zone. You have to either lay it on the line (in which case she's probably gone) or give it up. There is no inbetween, as the unknown will kill you.

[FUNKMAN]

maybe she's very sensitive from being hurt in another relationship? maybe she was abused mentally, physically, or sexually in her life? you guys need to sit and have a chat without the booze and the weed, find out what your feelings are for each other and where is the relationship going or not going?

then party

[MadBiker]

i really am a sucker when it comes to girls. i probably sound like such a whiny cunt in this thread. ahhhh! (i know this is long but if you don't want to read it, hit the back button now.)

its been a few weeks since i posted in this thread so i thought i would let everyone know what a sucker i am and see what kind of feedback i can get.

so a couple weeks ago i told this girl i really didn't want to waste my time if she just wanted to be friends and couldn't see anything going forward. she said the typical shit like she hadn't had a boyfriend in a while blah blah blah and would think about it. about a week went by before any contact and called to meet up for lunch on a sat. went and had a great time.

talked to her a few more times and she came over to watch the yanks/red sox game at my place last monday night. she is the biggest baseball fan i have ever met, its pretty sweet being able to talk baseball with a chick. so we watched the game and in the process killed a case and a few j's. had a great fucking time, we were pretty much laughing the entire time at each other's retarded jokes. so 7 turned into 130 pretty quick and she wanted to take off. i walked her home around the block and went in for a good night kiss. completely fucking denied. was pretty pissed.

then she calls up on wed. night to watch the last yanks/sox game and because the sucker that i am i tell her to come over. drink a bunch of beers having a good time. game ends and a friend calls her up and tells her to meet her at the bar. she doesn't even ask if i want to come. whatever.

so comes today, and she came with me over to my brothers place for a bbq and drinks. again, have a fantastic time hanging out with her. hang out all afternoon then came back to my place to watch the yanks/jays game. walk her home and didn't try to make a kiss cause of the awkwardness from last monday.

i really want to stay friends with this girl because we have such a great time hanging out. i don't really have many friends in town to hang out with so its great hanging out with someone to laugh with. it sucks cause everytime she looks over at me i want to fucking kiss her so bad.

i don't know if i should just bite the bullet and stay friends and stop trying to hook up or tell her how i feel and just not hang out with her because i want to take it past a friendship. i don't know what's worse, being a miserable fuck sitting home alone or hanging out with a girl who just wants to be friends.

Weeks, you are neither a sucker nor a whiny cunt. We all go through this, men and women. Men play these games with women too (maybe you don't, but many men do).

This is just part of the nature of dating. It sucks, its the downside, but trust me, the pain of a breakup is far, far worse and cuts much deeper than the ache of a relationship-that-will-never-be.

It sounds like you should stay in the Friend-Zone with this girl. I know she is awesome in your eyes, you have a great time with her, and she captivates you. There is nothing more in it for you right now, she wants a fall-back guy for whatever reason - she is young, she is not sure what she wants, perhaps she is on the verge of getting a career started and is tentative about commitment to a guy when she also has to commit to a career...Life's balance is difficult to find when you are just starting out.

Don't let your friendship with her blind you to other possibilities. What do you like to do? Any new activities you want to try? Go out and get into the world. Meet new friends, guys and girls alike. When you expand that circle you really enrich your experiences and find great perspectives on love, life, good and bad times, and become better adjusted to handling the downside of things when they happen.

You will find someone one day. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to make it work with this chick or to find someone soon. Just date and have fun. I left a guy after 7 years and went out and spent a year just dating and meeting new people and doing the stuff I loved until one day the man of my dreams and I randomly met at a park. We're getting married next year - go figure, it will happen when you least expect it and be the best time you've ever had.

When its right for both people, there aren't any feelings of uncertainty or any back-and-forth about not being ready for a relationship. There is not discussion, it just happens because it is natural.

Summer is ahead of you, rise up and grab the sunshine and the sweetness of each day and do what makes YOU happy. Confidence is a huge attention grabber!

[high fly]

Jz, when you got the kiss on the cheek, that was a hay-yooge clue she wasn't into sex with you.
There were probably others you didn't pick up on.
In my experience, this "friends first" biz never goes past the friends part.
You gotta make your move right off the bat, otherwise you get stuck in gay-friend hell.

You need to learn from this.
For one thing, read over your first post and look at how you misread the situation. Look at how you misinterpreted the attention you got from the girl.
Next time, don't daydream a bunch in there that is not.
By the end of the second date, you'll know whether you're going to get that thang or not.

Ok, so you're in a slump.
To break out, you gotta do some things differently.
Think about the things you say to a girl.
Are you giving her reasons to think you are a loser?
Are you talking about how you can't do anything right?
Are you blabbering on with your whole life history so she can't get a word in edgewise? Don't tell her everything right away. Remember, a relationship takes place over time so let there be plenty to talk about the next time. Let there be some mystery as to what you are about, stuff for her to get curious about.
How 'bout that posture?
Do you slump like a beaten man or are you the captain on the quarter deck, weight balanced, ready for anything?

I'd say get into something you can do really well and focus on that. The pride you get naturally from that will spill over into other things, making you more confident and relaxed.

And keep on moving, man.

[Bossanova]

In the words of Jay Mohr. "Pull out your dick and say what are we gonna do about this"

Seriously though man, I say be straight with her. I know it sucks to possibly lose a friend, but don't fucking kill your self over a chick who doesn't get it. You dig her and I know how that goes. I was friends with a girl who I fell for big time. We loved hanging out and she was the female me. We eventually slept together and started to date. It was cool for a while, but we never had the same thing. I also realized that I didn't want to date myself.I'm not gonna lie, if you tell her how you feel, but want to still be friends if she isnt into it, its going to be wierd.

I hate to say it but I think you need to walk and save some face. Trust me chicks love stoner hockey players who listen to jam bands, you will find someone else.

[Gvac]

Trust me chicks love stoner hockey players who listen to jam bands, you will find someone else.

Not just chicks. :wub:

[Bossanova]

Not just chicks. :wub:


:lol: See it really works

[weekapaugjz]

well, i finally told this girl how i really felt about her after another month of hanging out (yes, i know i suck). let's see how this goes in the next few days...

[Don Stugots]

good for you. not a better feeling in the world then spilling your heart out to a chick.

[weekapaugjz]

good for you. not a better feeling in the world then spilling your heart out to a chick.

yeah, especially when you have been trying to build up the courage to not blow it for a couple weeks now...

[Don Stugots]

yeah, especially when you have been trying to build up the courage to not blow it for a couple weeks now...

good for you man.

[Justice4all]

then she calls up on wed. night to watch the last yanks/sox game and because the sucker that i am i tell her to come over. drink a bunch of beers having a good time. game ends and a friend calls her up and tells her to meet her at the bar. she doesn't even ask if i want to come. whatever.



JZ I know you really like this girl but what you wrote right THERE spoke volumes to me.
It would appear to me she thinks you are cool enough to hang out with when there is no one else around but balks when it comes to taking you out to public places with friends and such.

Yes it might be because the does not want to send mixed signals but it also might be she is taking advantage of your good nature! That is the feeling and vibe I am getting here.

But I will say it took alot of guts to spill yours to this girl. I hope everything works out for you in the end. But, and I may be pessamistic here, you might mentally want to prep yourself for the possability of this gal not wanting to talk to you anymore.

And if she does, make sure it is not to use you just for some beers and a place to hang for a short bit.
There ARE plenty of fish in that big sea of ours!

[Jennitalia]

I agree with Justice. Sounds like you're in the friend zone. chances are she'll continue to ditch you for anything else that suddenly comes up. it sucks and probably hurts you like a good kick to the balls, but, like a good kick to the balls, the pain will go away and you'll find another chick that drives you batty. hopefully for the right reasons.

[Bulldogcakes]

Count me in as #3 with Justice and Jenn (BTW-Welcome back Jenn! Long time no see!) If you wanted to maintain this friendship, which I think is a bad idea, then pushing your all chips to the middle of the table like you did was a big mistake. It should force her to deal with this, and if were reading this correctly then she'll give you the "lets be friends" speech.
I'll bet she already knew how you feel about her, you've made it clear a bunch of times just from what you've posted and I'm sure your body language tells her in ways you don't even realize. So that move was unnecessary, but I think its for the best if this gets resolved one way or the other.


BTW-I hope I'm wrong. You really sound into her.

[weekapaugjz]

But I will say it took alot of guts to spill yours to this girl. I hope everything works out for you in the end. But, and I may be pessamistic here, you might mentally want to prep yourself for the possability of this gal not wanting to talk to you anymore.


i totally see your pessimistic side. its the reason it took me so long to to bring up what i talked about the other night. i have issues with rejection, a main reason im not very good with chicks, so i keep having this internal debate with myself about if i should tell her how i really feel or ride out the friendship. the other night being with her, i had to finally say something about the whole thing. we're supposed to hang out for the fourth tomorrow when she gets out of work at 10 am, she works a night shift a lot of nights so i didn't really get a chance to talk to her at all today. ill see how tomorrow works out, but im keeping my fingers crossed...

[Justice4all]

i totally see your pessimistic side. its the reason it took me so long to to bring up what i talked about the other night. i have issues with rejection, a main reason im not very good with chicks, so i keep having this internal debate with myself about if i should tell her how i really feel or ride out the friendship. the other night being with her, i had to finally say something about the whole thing. we're supposed to hang out for the fourth tomorrow when she gets out of work at 10 am, she works a night shift a lot of nights so i didn't really get a chance to talk to her at all today. ill see how tomorrow works out, but im keeping my fingers crossed...


We'll all keep em crossed for you too bud. Let us know how it goes.
Just remember, rejection is not a bad thing. It won't kill you, it makes you stronger for the next girl and what is the worst thing that could happen...she says "No I do not like you"? After that everything should be a cakewalk. yes it sucks to hear but in the scheme of things it is not so terrible.

You will be ok buddy, you got a good heart. Keep using it and the right chick with come along for the right reasons at the right time and make you feel ALL right!

[JerseyRich]

i totally see your pessimistic side. its the reason it took me so long to to bring up what i talked about the other night. i have issues with rejection, a main reason im not very good with chicks, so i keep having this internal debate with myself about if i should tell her how i really feel or ride out the friendship. the other night being with her, i had to finally say something about the whole thing. we're supposed to hang out for the fourth tomorrow when she gets out of work at 10 am, she works a night shift a lot of nights so i didn't really get a chance to talk to her at all today. ill see how tomorrow works out, but im keeping my fingers crossed...

From what I understand, you are a big Ryan Adams fan. My suggestion is to start listening to less sentimental music, like Robert Randolph or Radiohead. Just some music to clear your head of women that give off a vibe of wanting to fuck but then shut you down.

And if this all falls apart...start listening to Ryan Adams again.

[weekapaugjz]

so today i got the infamous, "i just want to be friends" bullshit.

im pretty upset about the whole thing but what can i really do. i want to be with a chick that doesn't want to be with me. tale as old as time.

she said stuff about how she doesn't want any type of "relationship" with a guy the rest of her life. she has been screwed in relationships in the past and been with from what i can tell, total assholes.

she told me, "i don't want what you want out of this". and that she hopes that we can still be friends. i am really fucking torn on this because i really want to stay friends with her because i think she is an awesome woman. but i don't think i can do it.

everytime i am with this girl i like her more and more. so i don't think i can stay friends because i will only be torturing myself thinking about if i can figure out how to make it work.

i have never met anyone who i have had a better time being with than this girl. she is very independent and has done everything in her life by herself without help from anyone else. this is one of the things i really like about her, because she is independent and doesn't have to rely on anyone else. she said that the reason i like this aspect about her was the reason she didn't want to be with anyone. she claims she doesn't want a relationship the rest of her life, which i do not buy.

i am really fucking torn on this. i really want her to be a friend, because i have never met anyone like her and we connect really well. but i know that i will not be able to really be "just friends" without hoping for something more.

why is it that when you finally find someone you want to be with, they rip your heart out?

[pittphantoms]

I have been on both ends - I stayed friends with some - I stopped being friends with others... neither choice ever was right...

What is wierd is everytime this bs happened to me, something else in my life happened that made me feel much better - either got a promotion - made a major change that made me happier with myself... I hope you start getting delt a better hand as well...

[Yerdaddy]

so today i got the infamous, "i just want to be friends" bullshit.

im pretty upset about the whole thing but what can i really do. i want to be with a chick that doesn't want to be with me. tale as old as time.

she said stuff about how she doesn't want any type of "relationship" with a guy the rest of her life. she has been screwed in relationships in the past and been with from what i can tell, total assholes.

she told me, "i don't want what you want out of this". and that she hopes that we can still be friends. i am really fucking torn on this because i really want to stay friends with her because i think she is an awesome woman. but i don't think i can do it.

everytime i am with this girl i like her more and more. so i don't think i can stay friends because i will only be torturing myself thinking about if i can figure out how to make it work.

i have never met anyone who i have had a better time being with than this girl. she is very independent and has done everything in her life by herself without help from anyone else. this is one of the things i really like about her, because she is independent and doesn't have to rely on anyone else. she said that the reason i like this aspect about her was the reason she didn't want to be with anyone. she claims she doesn't want a relationship the rest of her life, which i do not buy.

i am really fucking torn on this. i really want her to be a friend, because i have never met anyone like her and we connect really well. but i know that i will not be able to really be "just friends" without hoping for something more.

why is it that when you finally find someone you want to be with, they rip your heart out?

Do yourself a favor: get yourself a postcard of Thailand and stick it up on your fridge. When you get tired of being in the friend zone go to Thailand. The place is full of beautiful Thai women with a totally different set of standards than western women - they literally go man-shopping in the friend zone. See "Yerdaddy of Arabia" for more details and colorful brochures.

[weekapaugjz]

damn, i could go for some thai action right now...

[Yerdaddy]

Keep it in mind, seriously. But if you go DO NOT go to pick up on Kao San Road after midnight. That's ladyboy territory and there's enough disguising face make-up and swinging bats on that street to make you think you were in a fight with the Baseball Furies.

http://bryan.coolmojo.net/wp-content/uploads/2006/11/baseballf.jpg

[Andomray]

Judging by everything you have said, you've spent too much time dwelling on the "relationship" for something that will probably not happen.

Unfortunately, it's a lose-lose situation. It's probably best for you to get out as soon as possible, though. The fact that you like her more every time you're with her makes the situation difficult, but imagine how hard it's going to be if she meets another man and you're her "friend". You'll constantly be questioning what you had done wrong with her, and would have wasted a lot of time waiting for a relationship that wouldn't happen.

Go out, meet other people. If you start dating some other girls and find out you have many things in common with them, you may find the right one...

Good luck, Weeky. Don't let people walk all over you.

[Fat_Sunny]

Possible Mod-Quote For Andomray: Gives Excellent Advice.

[weekapaugjz]

Possible Mod-Quote For Andomray: Gives Excellent Advice.

possible mod quote for F_S: gives no advice

[Fat_Sunny]

possible mod quote for F_S: gives no advice

Aw, Shaddup!!!

F_S Only Gives Advice In Areas Where He Can Give Good Advice, And When It Comes To Dating, He Doesn't/Can't Give Good Advice!! So He Figures No Advice Is Better Than Bad Advice!

But F_S Did Recognize Good Advice When He Saw It, So He Re-Inforced It!!

[MadBiker]

Sorry to hear how it panned out, Weeky. It is better this way - that will become apparent in the near future, when you have other things to occupy your time.

Guys and gals play games with each other like this for far too long, and usually they hurt each other more deeply than they realize in the process. My guess is she KNEW how you felt about her and kept you hanging on as a back-up guy. Sorry, that might sting, but others have said it before, so it is not news. Now that you know how she feels, its easier to leave her in the dust.

I am not sure how old you are, but I know you've finished grad school (did you get the job teaching the charter school, btw?) so you are at least mid-20s. You've got lots of youth left to spend going to bars, watching ball games and cheering on the Sabres. You never know where a good one will pop up - hell, you might even sit next to her at a hockey game this season.

You seem like a bright guy, and if you plan to teach you probably do not have any self-expression or confidence issues. Do not focus on what you cannot do or cannot have. Think instead of your strengths and what you CAN do to make your day or someone else's a little bit more happy or fun. You will attract to yourself the same thing you project out into the world, I guarantee it. (That pearl does not come from The Secret - never read it. Just my own experience).

My grandma has a candy dish that I love. She never puts candy in it, so's everyone can read what it written in the bottom: "those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves."

Best ~ MB

[Fat_Sunny]

My grandma has a candy dish that I love. She never puts candy in it, so's everyone can read what it written in the bottom: "those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves."


Nice! Grandmothers Are The Best.

Rumor Has It JZ Is Giving Up On Girls.
He Is Actively Being Recruited By The Other Team.
It Seems They Need A Starting Goalie Real Bad!

[lleeder]

Nice! Grandmothers Are The Best.


Possible F_S Mod Quote?

[weekapaugjz]

Sorry to hear how it panned out, Weeky. It is better this way - that will become apparent in the near future, when you have other things to occupy your time.

Guys and gals play games with each other like this for far too long, and usually they hurt each other more deeply than they realize in the process. My guess is she KNEW how you felt about her and kept you hanging on as a back-up guy. Sorry, that might sting, but others have said it before, so it is not news. Now that you know how she feels, its easier to leave her in the dust.

I am not sure how old you are, but I know you've finished grad school (did you get the job teaching the charter school, btw?) so you are at least mid-20s. You've got lots of youth left to spend going to bars, watching ball games and cheering on the Sabres. You never know where a good one will pop up - hell, you might even sit next to her at a hockey game this season.

You seem like a bright guy, and if you plan to teach you probably do not have any self-expression or confidence issues. Do not focus on what you cannot do or cannot have. Think instead of your strengths and what you CAN do to make your day or someone else's a little bit more happy or fun. You will attract to yourself the same thing you project out into the world, I guarantee it. (That pearl does not come from The Secret - never read it. Just my own experience).

My grandma has a candy dish that I love. She never puts candy in it, so's everyone can read what it written in the bottom: "those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves."

Best ~ MB

thanks mb. lots of great advice there. i told myself i was going to be friends with her. i hung out last night and just didn't feel right. i think i have to move on.

[weekapaugjz]

Nice! Grandmothers Are The Best.

Rumor Has It JZ Is Giving Up On Girls.
He Is Actively Being Recruited By The Other Team.
It Seems They Need A Starting Goalie Real Bad!

F_S has officially gained entry on the JZ shitlist...

[Fat_Sunny]

Possible F_S Mod Quote?

He's Quite Happy With The Current One, Thank You!

You Should Be Working On Pixie's!

[Fat_Sunny]

F_S has officially gained entry on the JZ shitlist...

Not Again!!!!

F_S Will Have To Send You Some Flowers To Smooth Things Over!

[lleeder]

thanks mb. lots of great advice there. i told myself i was going to be friends with her. i hung out last night and just didn't feel right. i think i have to move on.

I think your making the best decision. I was in a similar situation and friends never worked. Clean cut is the way to go. Sorry Buddy.

[Jughead]

JZ....I'm real sorry you are having some girl troubles..It really makes no sense to me...But on a brighter side ........I meet couples everyday and there is someone out there you just have not come across her yet..You will Buddieeee...The F_S shit list post made me laugh out loud....FYI....Juggggy

[MadBiker]

Nice! Grandmothers Are The Best.

Rumor Has It JZ Is Giving Up On Girls.
He Is Actively Being Recruited By The Other Team.
It Seems They Need A Starting Goalie Real Bad!

Play Nice Sunny! It Does Not Seem As Though He Is In A Place Right Now Where This Is Funny To Him.

[Fat_Sunny]

Play Nice Sunny! It Does Not Seem As Though He Is In A Place Right Now Where This Is Funny To Him.

F_S Is Pretty Sure It's Ok. It Was From Last Night's Seinfeld Episode, And JZ Razzez F_S About Growing Flowers. If JZ Is Ever Mad, He Can Just Send F_S A PM.

[MadBiker]

F_S Is Pretty Sure It's Ok. It Was From Last Night's Seinfeld Episode, And JZ Razzez F_S About Growing Flowers. If JZ Is Ever Mad, He Can Just Send F_S A PM.

ah, it was just a reason for me to try Posting Like F_S. It Is Not As Easy As It Seems. :p

[weekapaugjz]

I think your making the best decision. I was in a similar situation and friends never worked. Clean cut is the way to go. Sorry Buddy.

that's what im trying to convince myself about. the way i felt being with her last night sucked, probably just cause it was so soon after the fact, but i really want her to be a part of my life. ah, so fucking frustrating.

[weekapaugjz]

Play Nice Sunny! It Does Not Seem As Though He Is In A Place Right Now Where This Is Funny To Him.

F_S Is Pretty Sure It's Ok. It Was From Last Night's Seinfeld Episode, And JZ Razzez F_S About Growing Flowers. If JZ Is Ever Mad, He Can Just Send F_S A PM.

yeah, if the post was from anyone but F_S, jz might have been pissed about it. this does not mean F_S is off the shitlist quite yet...

[lleeder]

that's what im trying to convince myself about. the way i felt being with her last night sucked, probably just cause it was so soon after the fact, but i really want her to be a part of my life. ah, so fucking frustrating.

If you don't get away from her now you'll look back at the time you spent with her as wasted time in the future. There are many women you could be meeting that you arent cause your with her now.

[weekapaugjz]

well, finally some good news to post in this thread. so i went out with this chick again last night. after i told her how i felt about her close to two months ago now, i had very limited contact with her. didn't see or talk to her for over three weeks, then after that started talking about once or twice a week and hung out two or three times.

when i talked to her last weekend, she said we should go out because there is a bar that shows movies on their back patio on a huge projection screen on their back patio. they were showing american psycho, a favorite movie of the both of us. we got dinner before hand then went to the movie. during dinner she said after the movie we were going to go to a bar we hung out at a bunch of times and get silly drunk in celebration of my new job. went there and had a great time. one of her friends showed up and then we hit up a few more bars. drinks were flowing and it turned into 4:00 am really quickly. the entire night i could sense some non-verbal cues that she was really into me.

went back to my place for a night cap and chill for a bit. started cuddling on the couch a little bit, then she said she was exhausted and needed to go to sleep and went and laid down in my bed. after a few minutes i made my move and started hooking up a bit. started talking a bit and she said how she made a mistake in how she handled the whole situation when i told her my feelings a few months back and how sorry she was about it. she said she wanted to give us a try. we ended up sleeping til 12:30 and were both pretty hung over.

i am really happy about this cause i had given up all hope of having a relationship with this girl and conceded to only being friends. from having a really shitty summer dealing with all of this and the whole job search coming up nil until last week, everything is finally coming together.

[PapaBear]

See? Girls DO like guys with jobs!

[Kevin]

See? Girls DO like guys with jobs!

Are you calling Weeka's chick a gold digger???

Congrats Weeka.. Glad to hear!

[nate1000]

Now, whatever you do, don't lose that job.

[Kris10]

Congrats weeka, hope it all works out for you.

[Thrice]

well, finally some good news to post in this thread. so i went out with this chick again last night. after i told her how i felt about her close to two months ago now, i had very limited contact with her. didn't see or talk to her for over three weeks, then after that started talking about once or twice a week and hung out two or three times.

when i talked to her last weekend, she said we should go out because there is a bar that shows movies on their back patio on a huge projection screen on their back patio. they were showing american psycho, a favorite movie of the both of us. we got dinner before hand then went to the movie. during dinner she said after the movie we were going to go to a bar we hung out at a bunch of times and get silly drunk in celebration of my new job. went there and had a great time. one of her friends showed up and then we hit up a few more bars. drinks were flowing and it turned into 4:00 am really quickly. the entire night i could sense some non-verbal cues that she was really into me.

went back to my place for a night cap and chill for a bit. started cuddling on the couch a little bit, then she said she was exhausted and needed to go to sleep and went and laid down in my bed. after a few minutes i made my move and started hooking up a bit. started talking a bit and she said how she made a mistake in how she handled the whole situation when i told her my feelings a few months back and how sorry she was about it. she said she wanted to give us a try. we ended up sleeping til 12:30 and were both pretty hung over.

i am really happy about this cause i had given up all hope of having a relationship with this girl and conceded to only being friends. from having a really shitty summer dealing with all of this and the whole job search coming up nil until last week, everything is finally coming together.

Congrats on joining the 1% club. Studies have shown that only 1 in 100 guys can escape the Friend Zone. You have completed this task and you're now a beacon of light to every guy who's been fed the cliched "I really like you as a person" line.

Now please provide the rest of the class pictures of said girl, please.

[Fat_Sunny]

well, finally some good news to post in this thread. so i went out with this chick again last night. after i told her how i felt about her close to two months ago now, i had very limited contact with her. didn't see or talk to her for over three weeks, then after that started talking about once or twice a week and hung out two or three times.

when i talked to her last weekend, she said we should go out because there is a bar that shows movies on their back patio on a huge projection screen on their back patio. they were showing american psycho, a favorite movie of the both of us. we got dinner before hand then went to the movie. during dinner she said after the movie we were going to go to a bar we hung out at a bunch of times and get silly drunk in celebration of my new job. went there and had a great time. one of her friends showed up and then we hit up a few more bars. drinks were flowing and it turned into 4:00 am really quickly. the entire night i could sense some non-verbal cues that she was really into me.

went back to my place for a night cap and chill for a bit. started cuddling on the couch a little bit, then she said she was exhausted and needed to go to sleep and went and laid down in my bed. after a few minutes i made my move and started hooking up a bit. started talking a bit and she said how she made a mistake in how she handled the whole situation when i told her my feelings a few months back and how sorry she was about it. she said she wanted to give us a try. we ended up sleeping til 12:30 and were both pretty hung over.

i am really happy about this cause i had given up all hope of having a relationship with this girl and conceded to only being friends. from having a really shitty summer dealing with all of this and the whole job search coming up nil until last week, everything is finally coming together.

Dude!

1. New Job !
2. New Girlfriend ! (Fingers Crossed)

Things Come In Three's, So F_S Strongly Advises You To Buy A Few Lottery Tickets. August 2007 Is Your Lucky Month!

[weekapaugjz]

Dude!

1. New Job !
2. New Girlfriend ! (Fingers Crossed)

Things Come In Three's, So F_S Strongly Advises You To Buy A Few Lottery Tickets. August 2007 Is Your Lucky Month!

well, i did win $230 at the casino last weekend.

[Fat_Sunny]

well, i did win $230 at the casino last weekend.

F_S Was Thinking More In The Neighborhood Of, Say, $230 Million!

[Yerdaddy]

Congratulations! Your life just became a John Cusak movie.

[weekapaugjz]

Congratulations! Your life just became a John Cusak movie.

:lol:

now, off to lunch with said chick.

[ralphbxny]

Are you calling Weeka's chick a gold digger???

Congrats Weeka.. Glad to hear!

She aint messin with a broke Weeka

[Bulldogcakes]

Good luck to you in your new job and with your new chick. Hope it all works out and keep us posted, buddy.

Personally, I would never trust a woman who put me in the friend zone. Don't get me wrong I'd still want to fuck her, but I wouldn't trust her. I figure there was a reason she felt that way and its just going to rear its head again sooner or later. But I'm a jaded motherfucker.

I hope I'm wrong in your case and that it works out for you.

[Kevin]

Good luck to you in your new job and with your new chick. Hope it all works out and keep us posted, buddy.

Personally, I would never trust a woman who put me in the friend zone. Don't get me wrong I'd still want to fuck her, but I wouldn't trust her. I figure there was a reason she felt that way and its just going to rear its head again sooner or later. But I'm a jaded motherfucker.

I hope I'm wrong in your case and that it works out for you.

See here is where you have it wrong Bully.. The prob with your theory is.. Girls know they can fuck anytime they want.. So putting you on her friends list is nothing to her..She knows you will be still there.. Where the fuck are you going?? Your a guy! She prob had some issues that she had to deal with until she was ready to take the next step.. You just have to be patient with them, if you really like them enough.. Of course.. You have to set your limits.. But they also have to be reasonable..

[Bulldogcakes]

See here is where you have it wrong Bully.. The prob with your theory is.. Girls know they can fuck anytime they want.. So putting you on her friends list is nothing to her..She knows you will be still there.. Where the fuck are you going?? Your a guy! She prob had some issues that she had to deal with until she was ready to take the next step.. You just have to be patient with them, if you really like them enough.. Of course.. You have to set your limits.. But they also have to be reasonable..

I'm not saying thats what is going on here, because I don't have all the details. I'm just saying thats how I generally react to this kind of thing. Its hard enough to make relationships work when both people really want to. When one is only halfway into it, I wouldn't take it too seriously. I'd be kicking myself when its over for not seeing it coming.

Again, I hope thats not the case here and it all works out. Weeka's good peeps.

[weekapaugjz]

I'm not saying thats what is going on here, because I don't have all the details. I'm just saying thats how I generally react to this kind of thing. Its hard enough to make relationships work when both people really want to. When one is only halfway into it, I wouldn't take it too seriously. I'd be kicking myself when its over for not seeing it coming.

Again, I hope thats not the case here and it all works out. Weeka's good peeps.

the major issue with her is that she was burned badly by guys in the past and didn't want to put herself out there again. im just going to take things kinda slow to show her im not one of those dicks.

[GregFromBuffalo]

Which bar shows the movies outside on the patio? Is it downtown? The 2 drive-ins we have here are both shutting down this year...It's too bad...Nothing like stepping out the door of the car to take a piss and not miss any of the movie...lol

[weekapaugjz]

Which bar shows the movies outside on the patio? Is it downtown? The 2 drive-ins we have here are both shutting down this year...It's too bad...Nothing like stepping out the door of the car to take a piss and not miss any of the movie...lol

bacchus, down on chippewa. it was pretty cool, if you want a table though, you have to call ahead and make a reservation and get dinner, which from there is pretty expensive i think. they have a bunch of chairs set up to for first come first serve and can get drinks. im not sure how much longer they are going to be doing it with the summer is coming to an end.

[weekapaugjz]

well, maybe this thread title can be changed to "i get girls".

the girl that this whole thread is about is out, too much drama for nothing but fucking headaches. but i did meet a new chick. last monday night went out for margaritas with my friend, his chick and a bunch of her friends from work. i met this one girl who was really cool but she was there with another guy so i didnt really make any moves. so the next day my friends g/f calls me up and says that this chick is really into me and that the guy she was with was just one of her good friends.

so then we made plans to meet up on thurs night. went out to dinner with her, my friend and his chick. so i get her number at the end of the night and things were looking pretty good. so i gave her a call last night and we met up for drinks after she got out of work. a few drinks turn into a few more. i ended up driving her home cause she didn't want to drive and i had stopped drinking earlier so i could drive. ended up staying over and having some fun.

im pretty excited cause this chick seems like a lot of fun. we were both laughing and having a great time all night. and one of the best aspects about the whole thing is that she is a licensed massage therapist! :thumbup: