Silly Puddy
11-15-2001, 09:28 AM
(fade back from commercial. Cool riff blasting in the arena, cameras panning the crowd).
Jim Ross: We're back live from the Whatley Memorial Auditorium here in Pinellis Park, FL. Another sold out crowd waiting to see what's gonna happen next..
Paul Heyman: This crowd is jacked, JR. And I have a feeling they're about to get their first glimpse at the man that every woman will be dreaming about when they go to bed at night.
JR: Oh G-d, don't tell me he's here.
(Suddenly, a male voice is heard over the sound system)
Hey Ladies. Do ya think I'm.......sexy.
(cue Rod Stewart's "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy". Out comes the latest addition to the RFW, "The Smooth Operator" Max Silk, along with his valet, Sally Diamond.)
JR: (as Max walks down the aisle) Well, in case you don't know who this is, that's Max Silk, who seems to think he's some kinda pretty boy.
PH: Ross, what would you know about pretty boys. Or maybe you shouldn't answer that.
JR: Well, I'm sure I know as much about being pretty as you do about grooming.
PH: Stick to calling the action, Ross. Comedy is definitely not your specialty. But let's get back to Max Silk. Look at the women in this audience. I can hardly hear myself over the sounds of the screaming girls.
(camera pans to the crowd, with a close-up of a woman looking very confused)
JR: You must be hearing somthing funny in your headphones. I don't think too many people even know this guy.
PH: All anyone needs to know is that women love him, and men don't want to wrestle him. He is the epitome if what every guy wants to be.
JR: Full of himself?
PH: What did I tell you about doing jokes.
(during this time, Max is preening around, dancing to the music. He's wearing tight leather pants, a gold sequined jacket, and gold shoes. He's got black shoulder-length hair, stands 6'1" and wieghs 235 pounds (more toned than muscular). While he's well-groomed, he's hardly an Adonis, and doesn't exactly resemble Tom Cruise, either. Sally is an attractive blonde, dressed in a nice one-piece black dress. She's not a Sable or Trish Stratus type. More a Molly Holly, though a little sexier.)
(The music FINALLY stops, and Max gets a microphone)
PH: He's gonna speak, Ross. He's gonna speak.
JR: Why are you so excited about this guy.
PH: Don't you know anything about "The smooth Operator"?
JR: I know he's competed all over the world, and done quite well for himself, but this is the RFW. Just because you've been successful elsewhere doesn't mean you'll be a RFW superstar.
PH: You said the magic words, Ross. This is the RFW. And that's EXACTLY why a guy like Max Silk is here....Shut up, Ross. He's about to speak.
JR: Don't tell me to shut up, Paul.
Max: Ladies, it's OK. You're not dreaming about me standing here in front of you. I'm really here.
(mixture of boos and sarcasic laughs).
Max: For those of you who've been too busy shoving thier faces in the slop bucket, I am the man they call "The Smooth Operator", Max Silk.
JR: I'll bet he gave HIMSELF that name.
Max: And trust me, it's a name I live up to both in and out of the ring. Just ask this stunning beauty here why she's smiling all the time.
(Sally emphatically nods her head in agreement).
Max: (spotting a fat girl in the crowd), Sorry, Tugboat Annie, but you're gonna have to settle for just fantasizing about me.
(Lady screams obsenities at him. Crowd response is mainly boos).
Max: So, this is what the RFW fans look like. Something tells me that if we did a little study on the characterisitics of the RFW fan, we'd find that the average person here makes about 6 bucks an hour, worked hard to get their Kindergarden dimploma before age 25, and thinks a night of passion involves a gallon of ice cream, a case of beer, and spending quality time with their 5-fingered friend. (Crowd boos. Sally laughs). Well, for obvious reasons, I have no idea what that kind of life is like. But, I can offer you something....Hey, Pugsly, shut up before I
Jim Ross: We're back live from the Whatley Memorial Auditorium here in Pinellis Park, FL. Another sold out crowd waiting to see what's gonna happen next..
Paul Heyman: This crowd is jacked, JR. And I have a feeling they're about to get their first glimpse at the man that every woman will be dreaming about when they go to bed at night.
JR: Oh G-d, don't tell me he's here.
(Suddenly, a male voice is heard over the sound system)
Hey Ladies. Do ya think I'm.......sexy.
(cue Rod Stewart's "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy". Out comes the latest addition to the RFW, "The Smooth Operator" Max Silk, along with his valet, Sally Diamond.)
JR: (as Max walks down the aisle) Well, in case you don't know who this is, that's Max Silk, who seems to think he's some kinda pretty boy.
PH: Ross, what would you know about pretty boys. Or maybe you shouldn't answer that.
JR: Well, I'm sure I know as much about being pretty as you do about grooming.
PH: Stick to calling the action, Ross. Comedy is definitely not your specialty. But let's get back to Max Silk. Look at the women in this audience. I can hardly hear myself over the sounds of the screaming girls.
(camera pans to the crowd, with a close-up of a woman looking very confused)
JR: You must be hearing somthing funny in your headphones. I don't think too many people even know this guy.
PH: All anyone needs to know is that women love him, and men don't want to wrestle him. He is the epitome if what every guy wants to be.
JR: Full of himself?
PH: What did I tell you about doing jokes.
(during this time, Max is preening around, dancing to the music. He's wearing tight leather pants, a gold sequined jacket, and gold shoes. He's got black shoulder-length hair, stands 6'1" and wieghs 235 pounds (more toned than muscular). While he's well-groomed, he's hardly an Adonis, and doesn't exactly resemble Tom Cruise, either. Sally is an attractive blonde, dressed in a nice one-piece black dress. She's not a Sable or Trish Stratus type. More a Molly Holly, though a little sexier.)
(The music FINALLY stops, and Max gets a microphone)
PH: He's gonna speak, Ross. He's gonna speak.
JR: Why are you so excited about this guy.
PH: Don't you know anything about "The smooth Operator"?
JR: I know he's competed all over the world, and done quite well for himself, but this is the RFW. Just because you've been successful elsewhere doesn't mean you'll be a RFW superstar.
PH: You said the magic words, Ross. This is the RFW. And that's EXACTLY why a guy like Max Silk is here....Shut up, Ross. He's about to speak.
JR: Don't tell me to shut up, Paul.
Max: Ladies, it's OK. You're not dreaming about me standing here in front of you. I'm really here.
(mixture of boos and sarcasic laughs).
Max: For those of you who've been too busy shoving thier faces in the slop bucket, I am the man they call "The Smooth Operator", Max Silk.
JR: I'll bet he gave HIMSELF that name.
Max: And trust me, it's a name I live up to both in and out of the ring. Just ask this stunning beauty here why she's smiling all the time.
(Sally emphatically nods her head in agreement).
Max: (spotting a fat girl in the crowd), Sorry, Tugboat Annie, but you're gonna have to settle for just fantasizing about me.
(Lady screams obsenities at him. Crowd response is mainly boos).
Max: So, this is what the RFW fans look like. Something tells me that if we did a little study on the characterisitics of the RFW fan, we'd find that the average person here makes about 6 bucks an hour, worked hard to get their Kindergarden dimploma before age 25, and thinks a night of passion involves a gallon of ice cream, a case of beer, and spending quality time with their 5-fingered friend. (Crowd boos. Sally laughs). Well, for obvious reasons, I have no idea what that kind of life is like. But, I can offer you something....Hey, Pugsly, shut up before I