Anyone ever had a tapeworm?

[Skellington]

i'm on the wrong side of horrified right now, someone comfort me with a tapeworm story with a happy ending. *twitches*

[Fat_Sunny]

Keep 'Em In A Jar As They Come Out....It Should Save You Some Money On "Bait" When You Go Fishing!

[Furtherman]

Starve yourself. Don't eat for 24 hours.

Then sit at the table with a glass of milk in front of you. The worm will smell it out and eventually you'll be able to pull it out through your mouth.








OK, that won't work, but I just remember hearing that as a kid and being really grossed out.

[Keotok]

Enjoy it while it lasts! You can eat, and eat, and eat and never get fat....ahh the life!

[Dougie Brootal]

ew. sorry.

[cupcakelove]

That sucks. Good luck, lets us know how it works out.

[bobrobot]

Eat some tape & they can fight it out... a wise woman once said there's nothing that duct tape can't fix!!!

http://wickedstageact2.typepad.com/life_on_the_wicked_stage_/WindowsLiveWriter/AncientCathedralHeldTogetherWithDuctTape_12787/duct-tape%5B3%5D.jpg

Really, U have my sympathies, as a kid I had one of those parasitic worms that you roll out of a fastering hole in yer foot & onto a stick, usually in the bath, & if the worm breaks the poisons can kill ya or make ya really sick, it took a several days...

[reeshy]

Christ almighty....those things are still around!!!!!

[Skellington]

Christ almighty....those things are still around!!!!!

i eat my cow warm and bloody, and i chew at my fingernails a lot. I am allergic to seafood, and thusly could not have gotten it that way and i don't eat pork. Apparently, bitey bitey at the nails and/or warm cow = wormtastical fun. i have had issues with bleeding ulcers in the past and thought that they had returned with all the stress i've been dealing with. No, i've been hosting timmy the tapeworm.

*blinks* gah, ew.

[JustJon]

And no one has posted the Weekly World News picture yet? I'm ashamed of you people.

[crb1]

I've never had one, but a friend of mine just told me a story the other day about the one he had. It was 7 meters (sorry for the metric system use, but he's from France), and he got it from beef.

He lost a ton of weight and had constant cramps. Apparently there's a medication you can get that kills it in 24 hours. He said it worked really well, although "getting rid" of it was less than pleasant.

Get pictures! :)

[Fat_Sunny]

7 METERS????? That Is Over 20 Feet Long! Ick!

[crb1]

7 METERS????? That Is Over 20 Feet Long! Ick!

Yup. He said they told him it was the longest they had seen. They made him save it because they wanted to make sure it was dead and gone, which means they had to see the head.

[Skellington]

I've never had one, but a friend of mine just told me a story the other day about the one he had. It was 7 meters (sorry for the metric system use, but he's from France), and he got it from beef.

He lost a ton of weight and had constant cramps. Apparently there's a medication you can get that kills it in 24 hours. He said it worked really well, although "getting rid" of it was less than pleasant.

Get pictures! :)

*twitches*

[Dougie Brootal]

ew. what are the symptoms? how do you know if you have it?

[xample]

i always remember my dad saying that i had a tapeworm when i was a kid, usually around times that i just wouldn't stop eating..

i know he was just kiddin... but from the looks of it, i certainly would never want the real thing.

[crb1]

ew. what are the symptoms? how do you know if you have it?

In my friend's case, he said he actually diagnosed himself after researching his symptoms, which where weight loss and severe cramps. I think there may have been another symptom or two, but I can't recall what they were.

[Dougie Brootal]

In my friend's case, he said he actually diagnosed himself after researching his symptoms, which where weight loss and severe cramps. I think there may have been another symptom or two, but I can't recall what they were.

ew. thanks.

[Midkiff]

Most. Disgusting. Thread. Ever. :flush:

[Judge Smails]

Why? Why the fuck did I open this thread? I had steak tartar for the first time just last week. I'm having pschyosomatic cramps as I type this. Goddammit!

[Dougie Brootal]

Why? Why the fuck did I open this thread? I had steak tartar for the first time just last week. I'm having pschyosomatic cramps as I type this. Goddammit!

THEN YOU'D BETTER NOT CLICK ON THIS!!! (myspace.com/douggrasso)

[Landblast]

i've never had a tapeworm but i can direct you to a site where theres a discussion about one.
click here (http://www.ronfez.net/forums/showthread.php?t=48674)

[Wallower]

How do you know it's just one tapeworm? You could have the whole Time Life Collection of tapeworms squirm-fucking just north of your colon.

[FUNKMAN]

7 METERS????? That Is Over 20 Feet Long! Ick!

i wonder if they used a tape measure?

[SatCam]

There's nothing duct-tapeworm and a Sharpie can't fix......

[Hottub]

A fellow walks into his doctor's office, complaining that he thinks he might have a tapeworm. The doctor makes a physical examination and listens to the symptoms, and concurs with the self-diagnosis.

"I want you to come back tomorrow, to start treatment. Bring a banana and a cookie with you," said the doctor.

Despite the seemingly odd request, our hero complies, and returns the next day with a banana and a cookie. The doctor says, "Okay, now drop your pants and bend over. This is going to hurt a bit."

Although leery about the turn of events, the patient drops his pants and bends over. The doctor peels the banana and with one deft motion rams it up the guy's butt. While the doctor consults his watch, our hero dances around the room shouting at the doctor.

"Okay, one minute is up, and we have to complete the second part of the treatment if your truly want to get rid of this tapeworm," advises the doc.

Despite the pain, the patient does want to be cured, so complies with the order to bend over again. Again, the doctor takes the cookie and rams it up the patients butt.

"Okay, tomorrow I want to see you here at the same time, and bring another banana and a cookie," says the doctor.

The now humbled patient, with tears of pain in his eyes, nods his head.

Next day, the same routine ensues. First the doctor rams up a banana, waits exactly one minute, then rams up a cookie. And the next day, and the next day and the next!! Every day UP goes a banana, wait one minute, then UP goes a cookie.

After one full week of treatments, the doctor finally says, "Well, tomorrow is the LAST day of treatments. I want you to bring in a banana and a hammer."

"Not a cookie?" asks the very frightened patient, trying to imagine what a hammer was going to feel like.

"Nope, a hammer," confirmed the doctor.

The last day the doctor says, "Okay, you know the routine".

So the man drops his pants and bends over. UP goes the banana, and the doctor looks at his watch and picks up the hammer. One minute passes. Then two minutes. Three. Four minutes pass.

Then a little head pokes out of the patients ass yelling, "WHERE'S MY COOKIE!?!"

[SatCam]

what was the hammer for?

[Fat_Sunny]

what was the hammer for?

To Clobber The Worm On The Head When He Came Out To Ask "Where's My Cookie"!

[Fezticle98]

I got some sort of parasite when I lived in Spain, almost certainly from eating serrano ham. Luckily, it went away on its own. It wasn't a tapeworm but still gross.

[FUNKMAN]

i had ringworm once


and crabs

[Fat_Sunny]

Keep Going....

[Hottub]

I opted for the shrimp.

[jennysmurf]

I got scabies once from a kid in my preschool class. Kids are disgusting.

Did anyone else have to watch that video in biology about parastic worms? I still have nightmares.

[Fat_Sunny]

I got scabies once from a kid in my preschool class. Kids are disgusting.

F_S His Whole Life Was Under The Impression That "Crabs" And Scabies Were The Same Thing.

Only Recently Did He Learn That Scabies Are Not Lice.

And Yeah, Kids Are Disgusting!!

[jennysmurf]

F_S His Whole Life Was Under The Impression That "Crabs" And Scabies Were The Same Thing.

Only Recently Did He Learn That Scabies Are Not Lice.

And Yeah, Kids Are Disgusting!!

You have NO idea!

[Hottub]

I sure do!

[Midkiff]

i'm on the wrong side of horrified right now, someone comfort me with a tapeworm story with a happy ending. *twitches*

Perhaps you should hang out with topless_mike. He enjoys ripping the dead skin off other men and eating it. (http://www.ronfez.net/forums/showthread.php?p=1340757#post1340757)

[DarkHippie]

i'm on the wrong side of horrified right now, someone comfort me with a tapeworm story with a happy ending.

Someone gives the tapeworm a handjob?

[bobrobot]

I <3 The Cramps!!!
http://members.shaw.ca/thecramps/cramps2.jpg

[Skellington]

My eating beef tartar days did not cause me the pregnancy for an unwelcome parasite. The diagnosis is an infection of my stomach lining which has spread to my intestines. I am very sick right now with a 103 fever. Not that i'd prefer a tapeworm, but this is by far worse. And here i thought i was going to make it to bar night with a parasite and drink it to death........... boo.

[Bulldogcakes]

My eating beef tartar days did not cause me the pregnancy for an unwelcome parasite. The diagnosis is an infection of my stomach lining which has spread to my intestines. I am very sick right now with a 103 fever. Not that i'd prefer a tapeworm, but this is by far worse. And here i thought i was going to make it to bar night with a parasite and drink it to death........... boo.

Did I ever tell you I have antibiotic jizz?

Taken orally, twice daily should get both of us fixed up in about a week.:wink:

[TheMojoPin]

Did I ever tell you I have antibiotic jizz?

Taken orally, twice daily should get both of us fixed up in about a week.:wink:

http://blog.kir.com/archives/stunned%20coach.jpg

[cougarjake13]

http://youtube.com/watch?v=dNG4G6xZZhU

[Skellington]

Did I ever tell you I have antibiotic jizz?

Taken orally, twice daily should get both of us fixed up in about a week.:wink:

Apparently your mom didn't fall for that one either.

[midwestjeff]

Apparently your mom didn't fall for that one either.

Mine did.

[TheMojoPin]

Apparently your mom didn't fall for that one either.

http://www.muntedmess.com/images/posts/high-five-1.jpg

[reillyluck]

http://www.muntedmess.com/images/posts/high-five-1.jpg


:lol: you made me spit back fetuccine on my plate!

[Midkiff]

http://youtube.com/watch?v=dNG4G6xZZhU

rock and fuckin roll bra

I need a beard braid like that guitarist