How do you tell someone "I'm not interested?"

[El Mudo]

I feel like there's this girl who's interested in me, but I have absolutely NO interest in her at all, frankly because (a) i'm trying to make something work with someone else and (b) I don't really find myself interested in her romantically (we really have nothing in common)


But here's the thing....all my life ive been on the other side of rejection...but ive never been the person who does the rejecting, and I already feel bad about it, because I know all too well how being rejected feels.


Any advice on the best way to let them down easy? I would greatly appreciate it.

[reillyluck]

has she told you she feels this way? it depends on how close you are with this person. if you hang out with her everyday, that might be difficult.

you yourself said how it feels to be rejected. i'd say take that experience and try to do the opposite of how youve been hurt. if she hasnt told you yet, maybe talk to her about the person you like. it might hurt her inside, but i think she will respect that and she wont get that rejected feeling because you never shot her down.

do you know someone that might be interested in her?

[Bulldogcakes]

Don't go there. There's no good or easy way to do it. Try to avoid it, change the subject if it gets brought up somehow. She'll get the hint eventually.

BTW-When the other thing falls through, and this one loses interest in you, you'll be spanking it to her for the rest of your life if she's at all decent looking. Just a warning.

LOVE STINKS
J. Geils Band

You love her
But she loves him
And he loves somebody else
You just can't win
And so it goes
Till the day you die
This thing they call love
It's gonna make you cry
I've had the blues
The reds and the pinks
One thing for sure

(Love stinks)
Love stinks yeah yeah
(Love stinks)
Love stinks yeah yeah
(Love stinks)
Love stinks yeah yeah
(Love stinks)
Love stinks yeah yeah

[King Hippos Bandaid]

you should talk to her about a girl u are interested in ( not her) , she should get the hint and back off

:king:

[reillyluck]

exactly.

[AnnoyedGrunt]

If she does ask you out, say you're flattered but she looks too much like your sister/cousin/ex/mom/whatever and it would be weird to date her.

[Bossanova]

Simply say you have the CLAP

[nevnut]

Fuck off Bitch!!!

[A.J.]

"Let's be friends."

[MellySmelly]

(a) i'm trying to make something work with someone else
It better not be my daughter!

Maybe tell her that you appreciate her friendship and would never want to chance screwing that up by taking it any further.

[spoon]

Just lie and tell the dude you like girls and he's sure to back off. It works for Phishy.

[weekapaugjz]

Maybe tell her that you appreciate her friendship and would never want to chance screwing that up by taking it any further.

oh, the times ive heard that one...

[MadMatt]

I would say treat her normally - you are already friends so act like a friend.

If she "makes a move" beyond friendship, then (and only then) pull out the "well, I just started seeing someone" card. Suggest going out as friends, but you aren't able to take it beyond that at the moment. Then continue to treat her as a friend.

WARNING: Do not try to "read" her too much because you could be completely off base. She might just be very comfortable with you and like hanging out. If you assume too much you might end up looking like an ass. Wait for her to make a definitive move.

[lleeder]

Just be very crude to her she'll get the message.

[spoon]

Ooopps! I'm sure Mudo knows I was joking and this isn't a real touchy subject but I had no idea it was in the "That's Life" forum. Using the "New Posts" and or "Today's Post" links doesn't allow for easy recognition of where the thread originated. Once inside (especially if using the last post link, it's really hard to see unless you go to the top of the thread really. Hence I see a lot of jokes made in the forum in the future without the intention.

I'd like to suggest a different color to threads in the forum or some other easy marker so that it doesn't happen in a more serious thread by accident. I'm sure most topics speak for themselves, but you never know. Just a suggestion that I think makes good sense.

[Krieger]

Sounds like this one time I went to a show to meet a girl , I got stood up. But this girl that new my friend that was there was hitting on me but I found her quite annoying so I just stayed my nice self and every time she'd ask for my number I'd make up a joke (she found me funny?) I held off till I left, she went out with my friend , broke his easily broken heart lol.
But yeah , just avoid it , make it a bit awkward so it doesn't come up. I know all about rejection , and once you see that the person you like likes someone else you back off and try to forget about them.

[CofyCrakCocaine]

I don't agree with what BDC says. At the same time I do agree with BDC. Let me elaborate: You shouldn't broach the topic if she hasn't brought it up herself. It's awkward, kind of bad move to throw yourself into it or bring it up and make her feel like total shit. A chick did that to my brother once, and he's been this passive aggressive overly sensitive prick ever since.

However, if she DOES directly bring it up, and I mean DIRECTLY, like, "will you go out with me" type bringing it up? Then you will just have to man up and deal with it like a man and be straight up and honest with her up-front. You're already in the awkward situation as it is, and you will likely do or say something that will make you feel bad regardless of what you do- better you be somewhat morally courageous about it and be honest with her- as gently but firmly as you can be.

Changing the subject or pretending like she said nothing is a passive-aggressive thing to do, and is actually an assholish thing to do. I speak from experience, having done that to girls and having it been done to me by girls- it creates this weird unresolved non-closure tension that makes shit drag out longer than it would if you were just upfront and honest about it.

I would recommend you stop talking to her or taking a break from her once this kind of talk has taken place however, unless you come across her...then you do talk to her, and treat her like an equal human being. There's more I could say, but that's all I really need to.

Edit: Oh, and one more thing: No matter what you do, you will probably feel like an asshole, but keep in mind it's not your fault and try to not feel overly guilty about it.

[RoseBlood]

Just lie and tell the dude you like girls and he's sure to back off. It works for Phishy.


Is that what he told you?

Rejection hurts doesn't it? :glurps:

I'm so sorry.

[Justice4all]

I don't agree with what BDC says. At the same time I do agree with BDC. Let me elaborate: You shouldn't broach the topic if she hasn't brought it up herself. It's awkward, kind of bad move to throw yourself into it or bring it up and make her feel like total shit. A chick did that to my brother once, and he's been this passive aggressive overly sensitive prick ever since.

However, if she DOES directly bring it up, and I mean DIRECTLY, like, "will you go out with me" type bringing it up? Then you will just have to man up and deal with it like a man and be straight up and honest with her up-front. You're already in the awkward situation as it is, and you will likely do or say something that will make you feel bad regardless of what you do- better you be somewhat morally courageous about it and be honest with her- as gently but firmly as you can be.

Changing the subject or pretending like she said nothing is a passive-aggressive thing to do, and is actually an assholish thing to do. I speak from experience, having done that to girls and having it been done to me by girls- it creates this weird unresolved non-closure tension that makes shit drag out longer than it would if you were just upfront and honest about it.

I would recommend you stop talking to her or taking a break from her once this kind of talk has taken place however, unless you come across her...then you do talk to her, and treat her like an equal human being. There's more I could say, but that's all I really need to.

Edit: Oh, and one more thing: No matter what you do, you will probably feel like an asshole, but keep in mind it's not your fault and try to not feel overly guilty about it.



DING DING DING...We have a winner. Pretty much sums up what I was going to say.

One side note though, if you are polite and kind with the rejection and the girl still does not get the hint...then it is ok to just outright avoid her (on a personal level, not professional) because you did try every other way to do what you could to give her the hint.

[drjoek]

http://images.contentreserve.com/ImageType-100/1069-1/%7B4A64F73F-91CE-44B2-9117-84351661FB90%7DImg100.jpg


According to Jivin you can just IM them

[Chainsaw]

To quote Homer Simpson...

"Three simple words: 'I am gay'"


The answer is there...

[Wolf]

I always prefer the line:

"It's not me, it's you."

Works every time.

[torker]

thought and prayers

[boeman]

start to act really interested... that turns them away real quick.

[DolaMight]

Pull the ol' He-Man move next time you're out. Should change things.

http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/m38/wh00pa/9578361149618107061.gif

[topless_mike]

tell her either "its not you, its me" or "i'll call you"

[ralphbxny]

Pull the ol' He-Man move next time you're out. Should change things.

http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/m38/wh00pa/9578361149618107061.gif


This is why you should not stand too close to Earl...this is what happens!!


Dude show her the old crank and say You can have a ride but it will only be a once in a while trip. I got me a ho that rides all the time!!!!

[Turtle]

I feel like there's this girl who's interested in me, but I have absolutely NO interest in her at all, frankly because (a) i'm trying to make something work with someone else and (b) I don't really find myself interested in her romantically (we really have nothing in common)


But here's the thing....all my life ive been on the other side of rejection...but ive never been the person who does the rejecting, and I already feel bad about it, because I know all too well how being rejected feels.


Any advice on the best way to let them down easy? I would greatly appreciate it.

I wnat to be your friend but not your boyfriend.

[Bulldogcakes]

I don't agree with what BDC says. At the same time I do agree with BDC. Let me elaborate: You shouldn't broach the topic if she hasn't brought it up herself. It's awkward, kind of bad move to throw yourself into it or bring it up and make her feel like total shit. A chick did that to my brother once, and he's been this passive aggressive overly sensitive prick ever since.

However, if she DOES directly bring it up, and I mean DIRECTLY, like, "will you go out with me" type bringing it up? Then you will just have to man up and deal with it like a man and be straight up and honest with her up-front. You're already in the awkward situation as it is, and you will likely do or say something that will make you feel bad regardless of what you do- better you be somewhat morally courageous about it and be honest with her- as gently but firmly as you can be.

Actually, we agree totally. I'm assuming that she's dropping hints, flirting, stuff like that. If she's totally direct about, you're left with little choice but either taking your direct approach or just lying and say " I have a girlfriend". In that case, I'd suggest lying. It lets her off the hook easy and you don't have to feel like an asshole for hurting her feelings.

[gmat]

Dude don’t listen to these people. What you need to do is figure out your other situation, maybe the girl you like is not interested in you. Make a move on her if you are rejected you have contingency plan in your friend. You may not be interested in your friend because the other girl is blinding you. You’re friend may be the love of your life and you don’t see it because you are infatuated with another girl.
I don’t know how much experience you have with women, but do not say anything to your friend that could kill your chances in the future. You never want to burn bridges when it comes to women always keep that door open, because I am telling you if you break her heart and then she moves on to another guy, you will be jealous.
This is all moot, of course if she is fat and hideous, in that case just have a couple of drinks and use her for sex.

[gmat]

Sorry hit the wrong button