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Could I be going through puberty 14 years late? [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard

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hwyengr
06-24-2007, 07:21 PM
I am so fucking pissed at my dad right now.

Growing up, I never had the falling out with my parents. The day I left for college, my dad broke down crying, saying "Why did you have to be so good to us." This was the same man who basically threw a party the day my sister left the house.

He turns 55 this year, and his company has an option for early retirement. This is probably one of the last companies in the US that still has a financially sound pension plan, which is the only good thing, because he and my mother have basically saved nothing for their retirement. Not only that, but for the past 4 years they've been competitively outspending each other on vacations (her) and tools and machinery (him).

But, since he's going to be retiring early, he gets just a small fraction of the pension payments. If he stayed working until he was 65, he'd actually make more money in retirement, with the pension, 401(k), and social security, than he's making now.

The problem basically is that both he and my mom have long-term medical issues. They're fine now, but they'll both deteriorate in the future, and probably before they're eligible for Medicare. I have no idea what he thinks he's going to do for insurance after he leaves.

If he wants to trash his own future, fine. That's his business. But I can't stand the fact that my mom's going to have to suffer as well. He claims that he can't stand his job, and has to leave this year, but she's been miserable at her job for decades and put up with it, just so they could live comfortably. So he quits, and she has to keep working? They're going to end up eating dog food, I just know it.

He has some grand plan that he's going to make-up the income difference by selling woodwork arts and crafts shit that he makes. He semi-successfully ran a custom woodwork shop during a 15-year sabbatical, and he seems to have forgotten how much he hated doing that. Why would you work hard your entire life, just to make it that much harder for yourself at the end?

And of course, I can't tell him anything. Me: "Let's compromise, wait until you're at least 60 to retire." Him: "Gee. Thanks for the advice, <i>dad</i>"

He resents me. Maybe he's the one going through puberty late.

JPMNICK
06-24-2007, 07:25 PM
I am so fucking pissed at my dad right now.

Growing up, I never had the falling out with my parents. The day I left for college, my dad broke down crying, saying "Why did you have to be so good to us." This was the same man who basically threw a party the day my sister left the house.

He turns 55 this year, and his company has an option for early retirement. This is probably one of the last companies in the US that still has a financially sound pension plan, which is the only good thing, because he and my mother have basically saved nothing for their retirement. Not only that, but for the past 4 years they've been competitively outspending each other on vacations (her) and tools and machinery (him).

But, since he's going to be retiring early, he gets just a small fraction of the pension payments. If he stayed working until he was 65, he'd actually make more money in retirement, with the pension, 401(k), and social security, than he's making now.

The problem basically is that both he and my mom have long-term medical issues. They're fine now, but they'll both deteriorate in the future, and probably before they're eligible for Medicare. I have no idea what he thinks he's going to do for insurance after he leaves.

If he wants to trash his own future, fine. That's his business. But I can't stand the fact that my mom's going to have to suffer as well. He claims that he can't stand his job, and has to leave this year, but she's been miserable at her job for decades and put up with it, just so they could live comfortably. So he quits, and she has to keep working? They're going to end up eating dog food, I just know it.

He has some grand plan that he's going to make-up the income difference by selling woodwork arts and crafts shit that he makes. He semi-successfully ran a custom woodwork shop during a 15-year sabbatical, and he seems to have forgotten how much he hated doing that. Why would you work hard your entire life, just to make it that much harder for yourself at the end?

And of course, I can't tell him anything. Me: "Let's compromise, wait until you're at least 60 to retire." Him: "Gee. Thanks for the advice, <i>dad</i>"

He resents me. Maybe he's the one going through puberty late.



i am not sure what this has to do with puberty at all, but I can see your point. I think a lot of times peoples with pensions really underestimate how much they spend and how much they should have saved for retirment because they think everything will be OK because they have a pension. In reality, he is 7.5 years from getting social security, and as you said he will only get a fraction of his possible pension. financially it does not make sense for him to leave, but maybe he knows he is going to have health problems later in life and figures he will enjoy retirement while he can.

hwyengr
06-24-2007, 07:26 PM
i am not sure what this has to do with puberty at all,

That was a joke, with the whole, "I HATE my parents" concept, etc.

JPMNICK
06-24-2007, 07:38 PM
That was a joke, with the whole, "I HATE my parents" concept, etc.

oh ok, that's what I was thinking, but you do not come off as hating them but more concerned for their future. either way, it seems like you and your dad have a great relationship and he seems like he trusts you. maybe if you sat down with him and worked the numbers he would see it your way and stay working for a little while longer.

Fat_Sunny
06-24-2007, 07:50 PM
Hwyengr, F_S Is Your Dad's Age And Completely Understands His Desire To Drop Out Of The Game. He Doesn't Seem To Be Realistic About The Financial Implications, Though, As You Said.

However, As The Child, It Is Not Really Up To You To Intervene. It Is An Issue Between Him And Your Mom, And You Probably Should Just Keep Your Nose Out Of It.

If He Goes Forward With His Plan, He Will See In A Couple Of Years That The Economics Are Not Good, And At That Point He Can Get Another Job, Even A Part-Time One (If The Woodworking Does Not Work Out).

But The Reality Is That It Is A Husband-Wife Issue. If They Ask You For Your Opinion, Freely Give It. But Once Your Feelings Are Known, Then Clam Up.

He's Gonna Do What He Wants To Do Anyway, So There Is No Point In Poisoning The Relationship.

JPMNICK
06-24-2007, 07:52 PM
Hwyengr, F_S Is Your Dad's Age And Completely Understands His Desire To Drop Out Of The Game. He Doesn't Seem To Be Realistic About The Financial Implications, Though, As You Said.

However, As The Child, It Is Not Really Up To You To Intervene. It Is An Issue Between Him And Your Mom, And You Probably Should Just Keep Your Nose Out Of It.

If He Goes Forward With His Plan, He Will See In A Couple Of Years That The Economics Are Not Good, And At That Point He Can Get Another Job, Even A Part-Time One (If The Woodworking Does Not Work Out).

But The Reality Is That It Is A Husband-Wife Issue. If They Ask You For Your Opinion, Freely Give It. But Once Your Feelings Are Known, Then Clam Up.

He's Gonna Do What He Wants To Do Anyway, So There Is No Point In Poisoning The Relationship.


F_S advice is better than mine. it is an issue between them. listen to the much older, wiser F_S and disregard my advice.

Fat_Sunny
06-24-2007, 07:59 PM
listen to the much older, wiser F_S

Next Time You Could Just Say "Listen To The Much Wiser F_S", And Drop The Other Part! :D