How Do You Network?

[Reephdweller]

How are you at networking? By that I don't mean computer networking, but rather in your people skills and having good business and social relationships with others. I know a few people who are amazing at having armies of people around them and resources who they can turn to and I always wonder how they do it.

Work is a good example, I find that some people are good at building their own groups or cliques with one another, and while I find that I can get to a certain point with them, I can only go so far and then they close me out as they have their inner circles. I don't know if it's a lack of social skills or finesse on my part that I'm missing or something that I do wrong.

One of the guys I work with has what seems like endless sources of ways to make money for himself by doing odd jobs, he has connections all over, and even in different cities. Which is another networking skill in itself.

Is there a secret to building these kinds of friendships with people?

[fohat]

First you're going to need alot of Cat-5 cable. Then get yourself a really sweet router.

Oh, what? Am I in the Wrong Forum?!>??!

[JPMNICK]

I think it is one of my strong points, and how I have gotten a lot of work, side jobs included. I think you need to be comfortable with talking yourself up without sounding conceited, and then make sure you follow it up by doing a good job. always look a little bit better than anyone else around, not that you need to be in versace, but make sure you are always ironed, nice clothes, and not the typical geek wear. they say first impressions make the difference, but I find that last impressions matter more. people tend to remember the last time they saw you.

[Tall_James]

The fact that I'm a misanthrope often gets in the way of networking activities.

My version of networking nowadays is setting up playdates for my kids with the kids of Milfs and lingering for coffee and conversation.

[Mafialife Chris]

How are you at networking? By that I don't mean computer networking, but rather in your people skills and having good business and social relationships with others. I know a few people who are amazing at having armies of people around them and resources who they can turn to and I always wonder how they do it.

Work is a good example, I find that some people are good at building their own groups or cliques with one another, and while I find that I can get to a certain point with them, I can only go so far and then they close me out as they have their inner circles. I don't know if it's a lack of social skills or finesse on my part that I'm missing or something that I do wrong.

One of the guys I work with has what seems like endless sources of ways to make money for himself by doing odd jobs, he has connections all over, and even in different cities. Which is another networking skill in itself.

Is there a secret to building these kinds of friendships with people?

The Fake Mafia has lots of Networking "connections".
If you ever need anything, hit me up.

[Don Stugots]

everyjob, legal or not, i got from networking. it is who you know, not what you know. how do i do it? you talk to people, ask them questions. people love to talk about themselves.

[RADIO-SHARK]

I found that if you got money and spread it around , then you got friends galor. but if that well runs dry,they start to get scarce.

[Bulldogcakes]

I think it is one of my strong points, and how I have gotten a lot of work, side jobs included. I think you need to be comfortable with talking yourself up without sounding conceited, and then make sure you follow it up by doing a good job. always look a little bit better than anyone else around, not that you need to be in versace, but make sure you are always ironed, nice clothes, and not the typical geek wear. they say first impressions make the difference, but I find that last impressions matter more. people tend to remember the last time they saw you.

An old business axiom
"The good looking person is perceived to have done a better job"

and

"If you dont define yourself, you leave the job to others"
-Harry S Truman

Never be afraid to toot your own horn. No one else will do it for you.

[Reephdweller]

I think it is one of my strong points, and how I have gotten a lot of work, side jobs included. I think you need to be comfortable with talking yourself up without sounding conceited, and then make sure you follow it up by doing a good job. always look a little bit better than anyone else around, not that you need to be in versace, but make sure you are always ironed, nice clothes, and not the typical geek wear. they say first impressions make the difference, but I find that last impressions matter more. people tend to remember the last time they saw you.

Wow those are all really great points Nick, and ones I haven't considered. Talking myself up is something I never do because I never talk positively about myself. I'm my own worst critic and maybe I need to stop being so vocal about it.

[JPMNICK]

Wow those are all really great points Nick, and ones I haven't considered. Talking myself up is something I never do because I never talk positively about myself. I'm my own worst critic and maybe I need to stop being so vocal about it.

NEVER say anything bad about yourself. if you do not believe in yourself, no one else will. actually the perfect example of this are O&A. Opie mentions how great the show is all the time. I am sure not everytime he mentions he does he think they are having the best show, but he says it, people listen, soak it in, and they have massive audiences.

talking down about yourself in anyway, in my eyes, is considered a weakness. I try to never mention if I am tired, sick, or behind on work. being your own worse critic is good, if the final outcome is that you push yourself harder. it is bad if it depresses you and you share that with the rest of the office.

i know you work in tech, so just say things to people like "yea we got the server fixed before the morning so none of you would have to be without your files" or "internet was down, but I know how much you love to use it to look up useless shit, so i made sure it was running by the time you got in"

and i am telling you, presentation is a LOT in the buisness, esp since so many tech people are a mess. My boss, who is also the CFO and president of our company looks like he just got done wrestling with his clothes on when we show up places in the morning. he is all wrinkled, shitty cheap clothes, shirts that were giveaways. Now i do not spend a lot on clothes, but the clothes I do have I make sure are high quality so they look nice and last. guess what, a 15 dollar shirt looks like it cost 15 bucks. I wear mostly banana republic. and the thing is you only need like 8-10 nice shirts, just make sure none are overly noticeable or loud. no one notices exactly what you wear, so if you wear the same shit this friday and you did the previous monday, no one knows. but they do know that you look nice, have on some cologne, clean shaved, and look ready for anything.

you need to sell yourself everyday, because slowly people will buy in. sometimes i used to get shit at my old job because most people there dressed more casual, but when it was time to send someone to a law firm to conduct training, you know I was always asked to go, and that is shit i brought up in my yearly eval. push forward by yourself, cause you better believe no one else is going to do it for you.

[Fat_Sunny]

Well, Alot Depends On The Type Of Business You Are In. F_S Has A Mail Order/Wholesale Business, And The Industry It Is In Has A Couple Of Chat Boards Like This.

So Fat Made It His Mission (Even Before The Internet) To Have His Customers Be 100% Satisfied With His Customer Service. 100%. So When The Chat Boards Came Along, And People Would Ask: "Where Should I Buy XYZ, Someone Would Post "Buy It From F_S, Cause He Will ALways Take Care Of You 100%".

When Others Say You Are Good, It Is 1000 Times Better Than When You Say It Yourself!!

[Landblast]

my brother's gift is networking, it comes naturally to him, he's ten times better at it than me, that's probably why he makes ten times the salary as me, i suck at it, i try to excell privately soley to avoid having to do it.

[DonInNC]

Reeph - I'm in the same boat. I'm considering joing Toastmasters. Mostly because I need to practice my presentation skills, but also because it seems like a good way to network.

[KnoxHarrington]

I wait in the bathroom at a park near my house, and when someone comes in, I...

Oh, wait, that's not the topic of this thread, is it? Never mind.

[furie]

I guess over the years i've become less gregarious. I've now much more reliant on my co-workers for personal interction rather than my friends "from home".

[A.J.]

I'm quiet and keep to myself.

[SatCam]

One of the guys I work with has what seems like endless sources of ways to make money for himself by doing odd jobs, he has connections all over, and even in different cities. Which is another networking skill in itself.

Probably ass pennies

[LiddyRules]

I'm in law school and always hear people talking about how networking is one of the most important things you can do. I suck at small talk generally, constantly having that dead-eyed foreigner look when people say something warranting a response but no real response can come to mind. And something like networking which might determine my future is much, much worse because it's not just for lame conversation, it's selling yourself to people who, because of who I am, I find intimidating. And they know what you're there for, you know what you're there for, so what? You just walk up and say "Hi, here's my resume! Hire me." I don't have the fantastical resume nor the small talk/people skills to actually network. My people skills are worse than my resume and my resume is shit. I really haven't the faintist idea of how to small talk.

[Fat_Sunny]

I'm in law school and always hear people talking about how networking is one of the most important things you can do. I suck at small talk generally, constantly having that dead-eyed foreigner look when people say something warranting a response but no real response can come to mind. And something like networking which might determine my future is much, much worse because it's not just for lame conversation, it's selling yourself to people who, because of who I am, I find intimidating. And they know what you're there for, you know what you're there for, so what? You just walk up and say "Hi, here's my resume! Hire me." I don't have the fantastical resume nor the small talk/people skills to actually network. My people skills are worse than my resume and my resume is shit. I really haven't the faintist idea of how to small talk.

Dude, Making Small Talk Is The Easiest Thing In The World. When In Doubt, Just Ask The Other Person Questions. People Love Talking About Themselves, And People Like People Who Seem Interested In What They Have To Say. So, When There Is A Lull In The Conversation, Or To Start A Conversation, Just Ask A Question...And Ask As Many As Needed To Keep Things Moving.

Ask Questions!!

[MellySmelly]

I've done a lot of favors for people. If I ever need anything, all I have to do is ask. I also keep in contact with people. I am very nice and polite and hold my tongue even when I think that they are a douche. The old, "you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar" really does work.

[LiddyRules]

Dude, Making Small Talk Is The Easiest Thing In The World. When In Doubt, Just Ask The Other Person Questions. People Love Talking About Themselves, And People Like People Who Seem Interested In What They Have To Say. So, When There Is A Lull In The Conversation, Or To Start A Conversation, Just Ask A Question...And Ask As Many As Needed To Keep Things Moving.

Ask Questions!! Initiating conversations have never been my strong suit. When I ask questions I do really bad "follow-up" type questions like I'm some third rate reporter and if I can't think of a good follow-up or segue I'm fucked. Also, it's gettng harder and harder for me to hide my apathy. I also give off a bit of an unsocial vibe.

[Gvac]

One of the guys I work with has what seems like endless sources of ways to make money for himself by doing odd jobs, he has connections all over, and even in different cities. Which is another networking skill in itself.

Is there a secret to building these kinds of friendships with people?

I don't think it's really a "secret" or a skill, Reefy. I'm a sales rep and I would say that a full 50% of my clients were referred to me by customers that I actively sought out.

I use no "closing techniques" or salesmanship methods that are taught by motivational speakers or in books, I'm just myself. I approach potential clients the exact same way I approach any new person I meet. I figure that the main thing I'm selling is myself; the products can be bought by about 5 different companies in the area and we're all in the same price range. They're going to buy from the guy they like best, and if I can forge a friendship with whomever I'm dealing with they're going to recommend my services to their buddies and speak highly of me.

You're an incredibly likable buy, Reefy. You've got warmth and an easy laugh that makes people enjoy being around you. Don't over-think about "secrets" or "skills" or "techniques", just be yourself. You'll find a lot of people will be drawn to you instead of you having to chase them.

[IamPixie]

I just smile, giggle and nod.

[Gvac]

I just smile, giggle and nod.

Well yeah...but that doesn't work for those of us that aren't hot chicks!

But I always say use whatever works for you!

[Nothing Sound]

I don't network.
I don't care for people and pretty much mind my own business.
All the people I work with know this and leave me be.

People used to ask me questions about my vacation and shit like that.
I would tell them to mind their own business and don't worry about what I do or where I go.
It didn't take long for them to get the hint. They don't ask questions anymore.

[MellySmelly]

Well yeah...but that doesn't work for those of us that aren't hot chicks!

But I always say use whatever works for you!

I think you're a pretty hot chick.

[sailor]

not well at all. although i've never not gotten a job thru personal contacts, so maybe i'm wrong. i'm definitely not a schmoozer, but my bosses generally seem to like me.