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keithy_19
07-03-2007, 03:13 PM
To make it quick, my gf moved across state. She started a new school where all the guys like her (she's a very attractive girl). She hated going to that school. Abhored it. She told me how she didnt have any friends, and how she just wanted to come back to her old town. Well, she finally came back. And as soona s she did, she dumped me.

We talked, and I didn't udnerstand why she did that. She said she just needed time. I kept on asking questions till she finally told me why she did.

She went to a party, something we both decided we would go to only when together to avoid any chance for slip ups in the relationship, smoked pot and drank and passed out. Well, I've never been one to use marijuana as many of you may know, and I don't think I ever would, but I was open to the idea if we were going to do it together.

Anyway, she goes tot he party, smokes pot, drinks, passes out, doesn't remember what happened after. When I asked if she cheated on me she said she didn't know.

I love her. And this really hurts. I just don't know what to do. I forgave her for her actions cause everyone makes mistakes. It's just that she lied to me, and went behind my back and that really hurts. I just don't know what to do.

gmat
07-03-2007, 03:53 PM
I am not trying to cause you pain, but if a girl says she does not know if she cheated on you, she did. I know you feel like you are alone, but this happens all the time, someone goes away form their partner and has no intention of cheating, but at the same time their lives are completely changed and they eventually get lonely and go out to try and meet people. They have a good time at a party and end up drinking, smoking and having sex. It’s natural. You are both young and I would suggest, don’t hate the girl, but you should probably move on, the bottom line is even if you forgive her and stay together, she will inevitably go back to school. Long distance relationships simply do not work, especially for college aged student. I suggest go out during the summer and enjoy yourself, you’re young and have your whole life ahead of you. If she's around go out with her if you want, but just keep in mind it probably will end eventualy, but I could be wrong.

Damn I sound like Danny Taner.

FUNKMAN
07-03-2007, 04:04 PM
She went to a party, something we both decided we would go to only when together to avoid any chance for slip ups in the relationship

to avoid any chance for slipups? just sounds like there are insecurities to begin with. not a good way to keep a relationship.

her breaking up with you makes me think her interest has turned to someone else. give her up or ask her if she just wants to be a fuckbuddy...

jetdog
07-03-2007, 04:26 PM
this sounds so cheesy but...play it cool, don't chase her. Try to move on. If you keep after her its only gonna make things harder on the both of you. Let her make up her mind, if she does want you back she'll come running, but by that time you'll probably have found that you don't want her back.
At the risk of sounding condescending, you guys are too young. Take it from some one who has been there and done that, suck it up, put her out of your head, and go out and get some ass.

grlNIN
07-03-2007, 04:40 PM
She doesn't know if she cheated on you?

There are a couple of things:

The first and most important, is she sure that anything sexual happened beyond her own willingness? If so that's a huge issue that should be dealt with before you put your relationship with her under the microscope.

Or is this something where she thinks she may have made out with someone and you consider it cheating?(which it still is but everyone has their own lines)

She seems pretty ambiguous about the issue and i know, as a female, if i had blacked out and had sex with someone i would still be able to tell the next morning, regardless of what memory i may or may not have had.

Saying "she doesnt know" is a copout, she is sparing you from the truth which is only causing you more torment because you dont have a definitive answer.

sailor
07-03-2007, 05:29 PM
To make it quick, my gf moved across state. She started a new school where all the guys like her (she's a very attractive girl). She hated going to that school. Abhored it. She told me how she didnt have any friends, and how she just wanted to come back to her old town. Well, she finally came back. And as soona s she did, she dumped me.

if she's gonna start to whore it, you're better of without her. wait, abhor? um, nevermind.

keithy_19
07-03-2007, 09:48 PM
She said she blacked out on the couch and woke up on the couch where she blacked out.

She's in high school. She moved up north but moved back tot he town. So she's not going anywhere for awhile.

I just feel so lost right now. I understand that when you're young this happens. Feelings randomly change. But she always seemed so sure of her feelings for me. She always made me believe it.

And, as stupid as it is/was, I made a lot of sacrifices for her. The biggest being that I passed up on going away to college. I thought/think that what we have is special and we could/can make it. I've neve been so sure of something in my life.

bensonenson
07-03-2007, 09:56 PM
It sounds like she doesn't want to go out with you anymore.

And really, you can't do anything but accept that, move on, and find someone worth your time.

Because really: if someone who promised not to smoke and drink unless around you slips up ... and dumps you ... possibly cheats on you ... why would you want to hold on to something like that?

Then again, if you try to stay with her, I understand too. Been there done that. Hated it. So my advice: search for someone real and hold on (just without the clingy clingy).

BalzacWB
07-03-2007, 10:02 PM
how old are you guys and how long you've been dating?


not that it matters just curious

keithy_19
07-04-2007, 11:34 AM
I'm 19 and she's 17. We've been dating for over a year and a half.

gmat
07-04-2007, 05:26 PM
No matter what anybody says, it seems like you aready made up your mind and that you still want to be with her. I think it is a mistake, please remeber Jersey is not that big of a state that you could not be in regular contact with her when she was away. She betrayed you once and she will do it again, but if you love her do what you think is best, it's you life you and only you know what will make you happy.
Hope everything works out for you.

keithy_19
07-05-2007, 12:14 AM
I talked to her tonight. I found out some things I'd rather not write about since I just don't want to put myself through thinking about them more. I'm going to see her tomorrow, and that will more than likely be the last time I talk to her. My choice. Not hers, or anyone elses.

There's a scene in the Godfather where Johnny Fontane is with the Godfather, and he asks him what he should do. The Godfather slaps him and says that you cana ct like a man. I need to act like a man. I did nothing wrong in this relationship. She's the one who did wrong. I could spend forever beating myself up over it and it wouldn't do any good. I'm better than that and I'm better than her. She won't find someone who loved her like I did. Who will make the sacrifices I did. It's her loss, not mine. They'll be others. They'll be more lies and more heartache. It sucks but it's life. I've gone through tougher shit than what she's putting me through. I won't let some girl dictate who I am and how I feel. Not anymore. I'm through with that shit.

MM2
07-05-2007, 06:14 AM
I talked to her tonight. I found out some things I'd rather not write about since I just don't want to put myself through thinking about them more. I'm going to see her tomorrow, and that will more than likely be the last time I talk to her. My choice. Not hers, or anyone elses.

There's a scene in the Godfather where Johnny Fontane is with the Godfather, and he asks him what he should do. The Godfather slaps him and says that you cana ct like a man. I need to act like a man. I did nothing wrong in this relationship. She's the one who did wrong. I could spend forever beating myself up over it and it wouldn't do any good. I'm better than that and I'm better than her. She won't find someone who loved her like I did. Who will make the sacrifices I did. It's her loss, not mine. They'll be others. They'll be more lies and more heartache. It sucks but it's life. I've gone through tougher shit than what she's putting me through. I won't let some girl dictate who I am and how I feel. Not anymore. I'm through with that shit.


Well its obvious that she broke up with you so she wouldn't have to feel guilty anymore. You are better off this way, it hurts, but it would probably hurt alot more if you stayed together and the whole time she was out cheating on you. I was with a girl for 3 years that seemed to love me more then anything in the world, I was #1 in her life, and ended up getting an email telling me it was over. So don't ever try to figure out what's in a chicks mind, trust me dude, you are better off. You are 19, go out and enjoy life at 19.

JPMNICK
07-05-2007, 06:27 AM
this is the best thing that can happen to you. go out, meet new chicks, bang some 10's and 2's, and then settle down when you get older. you will not want to look back to your late teens and early 20's and say I wish i would have.

CofyCrakCocaine
07-05-2007, 07:07 AM
I was lucky the crazy chick I loved decided to get engaged a couple months after we broke up. That made it much easier to say 'See Yuh for Life' once that finality hit. Closure's like shitting. It can either be smooth and more comfortable than expected, or your thighs go numb as your whimpering lips quiver pathetic pain-filled moans for 6 hours in the morning. But in the end it gets the shit out of your system. And that's what needs to happen.

And yes, I'm being full out serious here.

Skellington
07-05-2007, 10:41 AM
before you stated your age, it was easily assumable that you were young. that's not a bad thing, but the sad but true thing is.....she's a evil cunt, forget her, she doesn't deserve you. Commitment wise, it's nice you dated over a year, but it's bad you put stipulations as to who can do what and when. you have to trust your mate. If you cannot imagine your mate at a bar full of the opposite sex, you have building to do. Don't let this relationship fuck up how you treat girls. There are good ones out there that can go to a party and not do something regrettable...and if so, they'll admit it. But don't be so clingy to your mate. Friends are honestly first and foremost, they are the ones that will help you hide the body of your mate and not breathe a word. :) Live and learn. In the meantime, enjoy the surplus of breasts to stare at. I'm not sure what teens are drinking these days, but my mammories are jealous.

Fat_Sunny
07-05-2007, 10:53 AM
before you stated your age, it was easily assumable that you were young. that's not a bad thing, but the sad but true thing is.....she's a evil cunt, forget her, she doesn't deserve you. Commitment wise, it's nice you dated over a year, but it's bad you put stipulations as to who can do what and when. you have to trust your mate. If you cannot imagine your mate at a bar full of the opposite sex, you have building to do. Don't let this relationship fuck up how you treat girls. There are good ones out there that can go to a party and not do something regrettable...and if so, they'll admit it. But don't be so clingy to your mate. Friends are honestly first and foremost, they are the ones that will help you hide the body of your mate and not breathe a word. :) Live and learn. In the meantime, enjoy the surplus of breasts to stare at. I'm not sure what teens are drinking these days, but my mammories are jealous.

Look, She Is Only 17 And You Are Only 19. That Is Not A Patronizing Comment...It Is Just The Truth. You Both Need To "Sew Your Wild Oats"; That Is What Youth Is Meant For!

iF You And She Don't Do That Now, You Would Do It Later (Like After You Were Married). And That Would Be A Much, MUCH Harder Situation.

Honestly, You Should Be Glad This Happened Now And Not Later And Move On.

Chigworthy
07-05-2007, 10:41 PM
The whole cheating thing could be the worst thing someone can do to another. I've never cheated or been cheated on, but just thinking about that hypothetical situation makes my stomach ache. Yuck. You'll probably feel like shit for a while, and there's nothing to do other than get on with your life and weather the storm.

keithy_19
07-06-2007, 12:14 PM
Honestly, You Should Be Glad This Happened Now And Not Later And Move On.

I never had much luck with girls. So when this worked out, I was so thrilled. She's such a beautiful girl. And she was so nice and so great to me. Obviously, thigns changed. It sucks cause she was my best friend too. I'm losing a lover and my best friend.

JPMNICK
07-06-2007, 12:18 PM
I never had much luck with girls. So when this worked out, I was so thrilled. She's such a beautiful girl. And she was so nice and so great to me. Obviously, thigns changed. It sucks cause she was my best friend too. I'm losing a lover and my best friend.

you will have 5 more before you get married. when i was 18-19 i had the same shit happen to me. best friend who i dated, fucked me over, i was a sullen douche in my basement whining to my friends. thought i would never love again and all girls were evil. my friend made me join the gym with him, and by the summer I was partying every night with my boys at house parties and frat parties and banging 10's. every girl i hooked up with that summer was hotter and nice than the girl who i thought was the one for me.

point is, you are to you and live in an area with way to many hot chicks to worry about what this idiot has done to you. i know it takes time, but do not stretch it out longer than it needs to be.

Doctor Z
07-06-2007, 12:20 PM
It sucks cause she was my best friend too. I'm losing a lover and my best friend.

Your best friend needs to be a guy. Get on that.

JPMNICK
07-06-2007, 12:22 PM
Your best friend needs to be a guy. Get on that.

COULD NOT AGREE MORE.

the 3 or 4 people closest to you should be guys.

ever notice how most girls will say "i am so much closer with my guy friends than my GF's." or "i get along so much better with guys"

that is because guys are so much better at being friends than girls. a girl who is a friend is just a chick who does not fuck you but requires every other aspect of being in a relationship. AND on top of all that, will only cause problems when you eventually do get a nice GF.

epo
07-06-2007, 12:22 PM
Keithy I feel terrible for you, but listen to the words of the oldsters on this one...it's better that it happened now.

I'll give you a piece of knowledge that was dropped on me some time ago. The chick is gone and you will always in some way love her. It's not logical as she did wrong by you, but love is not rational. However the her that you love no longer exists and you both have evolved into different people. Always love that moment in time and who the both of you were...but seperate that from who you are now and the people you will love in the future. .

Of course that being said, nobody truly understands how you feel and they can all f-off. :eek:

Justice4all
07-06-2007, 12:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doctor Z
Your best friend needs to be a guy. Get on that.


COULD NOT AGREE MORE.

the 3 or 4 people closest to you should be guys.

ever notice how most girls will say "i am so much closer with my guy friends than my GF's." or "i get along so much better with guys"

that is because guys are so much better at being friends than girls. a girl who is a friend is just a chick who does not fuck you but requires every other aspect of being in a relationship. AND on top of all that, will only cause problems when you eventually do get a nice GF.


Sorry guys, but the woman you eventually give your heart and everything else to will be your best friend.

But overall, you DO need to have guy friends who will always be there for you.


And wbskell...well said. there should never be 'restrictions' placed on a relationship.
Every time you meet someone or spend time with them you have to allow for the fact that they had a life BEFORE you and that life is going to continue even after he/she meets you.

JPMNICK
07-06-2007, 12:57 PM
I think your bestfriend is someone you can go to with anything. hence disqualifing yoru GF/wife as your BF due to the fact that is you have a problem with her, you can not go to her to discuss it or get outside opinions.

keithy_19
07-07-2007, 12:12 AM
I do have a guy best friend. He's been by me through this whole thing. But, after being with someone so close and talking to them so much, it's hurts never hearing my phone ring. And when it does, I jump to it and when it's not her my heart drops to the floor. She helped me get through a lot of shit, and I just feel like it shouldn't end like this. I just think this will end really bitter.

And, I went out tonight and tried to have a good time and forget about her for a little bit at least. It didn't work, but this girl I work with came out with me and my friend. My ex hated her cause she elft me a comment on myspace saying she thought I was "so cute and so funny" and, jokingly of course, that "she wanted my body." My ex asked me tot ake it off of my myspace page. I did, figuring, even though it didn't mean anything, I should calm my girl friend down. Little did I know she was getting chummy with some douche bag from her school and would then elave me to date him for a little while. Fucking skank.

Anyway, I was out with my friend and the girl I work with and I would have a chance with the girl I work with if I was taller. Damn my shortness (5'6 or 5'7) and damn taller girls.

And I've realized I've started to morph into the chracter fromt he 40 eyar old virgin who's girl friend left him and he hates her and loves her at the same time. Hopefully it won't take me as long too find someone new.

drjoek
07-07-2007, 04:46 AM
I'm 19 and she's 17. We've been dating for over a year and a half.

Dude youve got a whole world of women out there and all the time to enjoy them . It sucks but the best thing thast ever happened to you is that the cheat is gone time to enjoy life Good Luck

keithy_19
07-07-2007, 09:40 PM
I feel so pathetic right now. I keep trying to think about being without her. And I start to convince myself I'll be fine and then a memory pops up and I get pulled back in.

Justice4all
07-07-2007, 10:25 PM
Hang in there Keith. Time does heal all wounds. Like many others have said, you are young and you have a long life ahead of you.
No girl is worth this much misery.
She fucked YOU over, so stop feeling like YOU owe HER something.

You are a good guy, and I am very certain this chick can be replaced in a heartbeat.

Let time help you forget all about her. Someday you will look back and be GLAD that you moved on. Because if this happened another year or two down the line it would have been worse.
Let the coward go and screw around with whoever. Odds are she will not last with him, want you back, and you will be able to say to her "You Snooze...You LOSE...SEEEYUH!" (and that will feel mighty good)

Doctor Z
07-08-2007, 12:04 AM
Good virtues to have in upcoming weeks/months:

* Patience
* Confidence
* Pride
* Restraint
* Discipline
* The ability to keep yourself distracted

Consider this whole experience an exercise in these things. When it's all behind you, you will have strengthened these traits 10 fold.
Good luck.

keithy_19
07-09-2007, 01:38 PM
I really can't seem to make a clean rbeak from her. No matter where I go, I can't stop thinking of her. It sucks so fucking much. And, I know eventually I'll get passed it. But right now I really can't find anything in me to go and do something with my life.

drjoek
07-09-2007, 01:41 PM
I really can't seem to make a clean rbeak from her. No matter where I go, I can't stop thinking of her. It sucks so fucking much. And, I know eventually I'll get passed it. But right now I really can't find anything in me to go and do something with my life.

Time heals all wounds Itll seem like a funny thing soon enough. Open your eyes to the possibilities that are out there now

SatCam
07-09-2007, 01:47 PM
Keithy in a situation in which you have been with the girl for a good portion of your last few years, breaking up with her can be a wakeup call for you. Think of the positives and not the negatives.

negatives: you lost your love, you spent a year and a half with someone who fucked you over etc.

those suck,,,

positives:
you're a new keith
you can meet new ppl
you're not chained down... you can do anything you want and go anywhere you want and there's no one to worry about but you
no guilt

think of the positives my friend :thumbup:

drjoek
07-09-2007, 02:13 PM
Keithy in a situation in which you have been with the girl for a good portion of your last few years, breaking up with her can be a wakeup call for you. Think of the positives and not the negatives.

negatives: you lost your love, you spent a year and a half with someone who fucked you over etc.

those suck,,,

positives:
you're a new keith
you can meet new ppl
you're not chained down... you can do anything you want and go anywhere you want and there's no one to worry about but you
no guilt

think of the positives my friend :thumbup:

Again the wet balls and ahole make this the wrong place for your posts:wink:

IamPixie
07-09-2007, 02:26 PM
I really can't seem to make a clean rbeak from her. No matter where I go, I can't stop thinking of her. It sucks so fucking much. And, I know eventually I'll get passed it. But right now I really can't find anything in me to go and do something with my life.

I know it's hard and crap. But you really gotta try and distract yourself. I stopped listening to music for like 2 weeks because every song that I heard reminded me of the relationship that I was/am in. You can take this time as an opportunity to get reaquainted with yourself and what makes you happy. Alot of times in a relationship you can lose sight of who you are because you're so busy trying to make things work. Who knows maybe your newly found independence will make you even more attractive to your ex, just for the simple fact that you're not as available. Even if that doesn't work out, atleast you're taking the steps to move foward with your life.

keithy_19
07-09-2007, 02:27 PM
positives:
you're a new keith
you can meet new ppl
you're not chained down... you can do anything you want and go anywhere you want and there's no one to worry about but you
no guilt

think of the positives my friend :thumbup:

She also has those "positives". That's all I think about now.

ChimneyFish
07-09-2007, 05:15 PM
Unfortunately, all I can do is sympathize with you at this point, keithy.

My situation as of Saturday night:

My ex-girlfriend calls me up on Saturday night. Drunk.
I haven't heard from the girl in over 3 years.
She ends up coming from her friend's house(over half hour away). Knowing her the way I do, I know there is no talking here out of it.

I had heard rumor that she had gotten married. She had, and now(in her own words) she had realized that she really wasn't in love with this guy, and she had basically driven him away.

The thing of it is, she was there for me when my mom died even though she was with someone else at the time. She dropped everything when I needed her most, so I really felt/feel like I owe her that much.

So we hung out, got drunker, ended up hooking up a little, and she brought me home the next afternoon. We talked on the phone for awhile last night, too.

After all this time, I had really thought that I had gotten over her.
Obviously not.

I've been sitting here for most of the night with my stomach in a terrible knot.
I am, literally, in pain.
I want so bad to call her right now, but I don't want to be a nuisance.
She said she would try to call me tonight, but I don't think she will.

3 fucking years!!!!
I can't believe the power this woman has over my emotions.

So, there are other people out there struggling in somewhat the same sense as you, keithy.Do what you have to do to keep your head up.

I'll be over in the corner, freaking out.

keithy_19
07-09-2007, 07:11 PM
I've decided that I'm gonna just let her be. If she wants to be with me later, she will. Me seeming desperate will do nothing for me. I just miss her a lot. And I will. But I can't wait around for her. I need to get on with my life too.

I have a feeling she'll be back. I'll see what happens when/if that time comes.

JPMNICK
07-09-2007, 07:54 PM
I've decided that I'm gonna just let her be. If she wants to be with me later, she will. Me seeming desperate will do nothing for me. I just miss her a lot. And I will. But I can't wait around for her. I need to get on with my life too.

I have a feeling she'll be back. I'll see what happens when/if that time comes.

the girl that did to me what this girl is doing to you came back. 3+ years later she called one night drunk and wanted to come over. i said no, and she showed up anyway. my cousin let her in and we slept together. she told me how big of a mistake she made and how she wanted me to get back with her. no joke i dreamed of this night for years.

i told her we would talk about it, and the next day told her no way after what she had put me through. it was one of the best things in my life to this day. nothing felt better than that. you seem like a nice guy who treated her right, she will be back no doubt about it. the problem will be that eventually you will realize how much better you can do, and how far below your level she really is. i know you can not see it now, but it is true.

Justice4all
07-09-2007, 10:37 PM
the girl that did to me what this girl is doing to you came back. 3+ years later she called one night drunk and wanted to come over. i said no, and she showed up anyway. my cousin let her in and we slept together. she told me how big of a mistake she made and how she wanted me to get back with her. no joke i dreamed of this night for years.

i told her we would talk about it, and the next day told her no way after what she had put me through. it was one of the best things in my life to this day. nothing felt better than that. you seem like a nice guy who treated her right, she will be back no doubt about it. the problem will be that eventually you will realize how much better you can do, and how far below your level she really is. i know you can not see it now, but it is true.


Keith, you are doing the right thing.
And Nick...damn man that is awsome. I bet you felt 1000 times better when you did that.
Nothing like complete closure and reminding someone how they made a huge mistake.

Jennitalia
07-10-2007, 03:17 AM
the girl that did to me what this girl is doing to you came back. 3+ years later she called one night drunk and wanted to come over. i said no, and she showed up anyway. my cousin let her in and we slept together. she told me how big of a mistake she made and how she wanted me to get back with her. no joke i dreamed of this night for years.

i told her we would talk about it, and the next day told her no way after what she had put me through. it was one of the best things in my life to this day. nothing felt better than that. you seem like a nice guy who treated her right, she will be back no doubt about it. the problem will be that eventually you will realize how much better you can do, and how far below your level she really is. i know you can not see it now, but it is true.


i have to admit, i was that girl once. i was living with a boyfriend and we were pretty much all but broken up, and he was away one weekend and i was lonely, and started thinking about a guy i dated in college senior year who lived in my area. i treated him like crap. so, i did what any psycho girl would do...got drunk and called him up. it wasnt even that i missed him or still loved him...i was pretty much just lonely and bored and needed something to do. but i did use the "oh, i miss you so much" lines. he came over. we shagged. hooked up a few days after that. then he never talked to me again. a few weeks after that, things officially ended with the bf i was living with, and i moved out. so yeah, what goes around comes around. im much more stable now in my older age :unsure:

ChimneyFish
07-11-2007, 12:17 PM
the girl that did to me what this girl is doing to you came back. 3+ years later she called one night drunk and wanted to come over. i said no, and she showed up anyway. my cousin let her in and we slept together. she told me how big of a mistake she made and how she wanted me to get back with her. no joke i dreamed of this night for years.

i told her we would talk about it, and the next day told her no way after what she had put me through. it was one of the best things in my life to this day. nothing felt better than that. you seem like a nice guy who treated her right, she will be back no doubt about it. the problem will be that eventually you will realize how much better you can do, and how far below your level she really is. i know you can not see it now, but it is true.

Strange.
That's exactly what I'm going through right now.

Haven't seen the girl in 3+ years, hooked up on Saturday night. Had sex last night, and she's on her way over again tonight.
The difference is, I feel like I'm f'ing 14-year-old-boy, with my stomach in such a knot that it physically hurts.

And the killer is, I'm a drunk who lost her because I treated her wrong.

JPMNICK
07-11-2007, 12:18 PM
Strange.
That's exactly what I'm going through right now.

Haven't seen the girl in 3+ years, hooked up on Saturday night. Had sex last night, and she's on her way over again tonight.
The difference is, I feel like I'm f'ing 14-year-old-boy, with my stomach in such a knot that it physically hurts.

And the killer is, I'm a drunk who lost her because I treated her wrong.

so you want her back?

MadBiker
07-11-2007, 12:44 PM
Keithy, give your cell phone to a friend you know won't give it to you no matter how much you beg. Then, go somewhere you cannot access a computer or other phone.

Proceed to drink her off your mind, at least for a little while (advice above will prevent the dreaded and always-regretted drunk-dial/drunk-email/drunk-myspace-messaging that often occurs when drinking someone off your mind).

Cry if you must, until you feel so overwrought you could puke. Do not repeat more than two or three times! The goal is a little fun and forgetfulness, not a journey into alcoholism.

You will feel better after a good crying jag. I would also suggest some Haagen Daz or Dove Chocolate Cherry ice cream, but ice cream binges do not seem to work for men the same way they do women...

Seriously, the loss of your first love is tough to handle. You feel like no one in the world could possibly love you as much, and you will never love anyone as much as you loved this girl...It is a rite of passage as sure as growing your adult teeth and getting a drivers license. It just hurts a hell of a lot more. But what you take away from this situation will be very valuable. You will better understand some things about yourself, and the difference between healthy adult relationships and adolescent love.

There are a whole host of other responsibilities you will have to master over the next several years, and cultivating friendships and relationships with men and women changes in nature as you mature. Keep a journal if it is helpful, of the good and the bad days, and reflect on any new perceptions you have as a result of this experience. It will help you develop a healthy emotional intelligence to complement your mental intelligence and physcial health.

All the best ~ MB

keithy_19
07-11-2007, 03:23 PM
She's seeing someone else. She's such a bitch. Oh well. Fuck her.

JPMNICK
07-11-2007, 03:29 PM
nice! best thing that could have happened to you. it will make it so much easier to move on.

you should not be suprised. chicks never leave 1st unless they know they will make it to 2nd.

keithy_19
07-11-2007, 04:29 PM
nice! best thing that could have happened to you. it will make it so much easier to move on.

you should not be suprised. chicks never leave 1st unless they know they will make it to 2nd.

I'm not. She lied to me about it too. She told me how she wanted to be my friend too. But, now I see that there is no way a friendship could ever happen, even in the future since she lied to me repeatedly.

keithy_19
07-11-2007, 04:59 PM
The terrible thing is this though, all I want to do is hold her and start over with her.

keithy_19
07-13-2007, 01:31 PM
Well, that's that. I went and talked to her friend last night, whois also my friend mind you and was the person who said she would help us get through tough times. I went to her and basically poured my heart out. She talked to my ex today, and right after my ex called me sobbing and pretty pissed. She accused me of going to her friend and trying to get her to guilt her to go back out with me. That was never my intention. I needed to talk to someone, and she was available to talk.

I talked to her my ex in a very calm manner though, and I think I made leaps and bounds of growing myself. I was very calm and just talked to her about how I felt. I didn't get emotional, and just told her how it was.

Also, today is our anniversary, so it's kinda stinging pretty bad.

Doctor Z
07-13-2007, 01:59 PM
Fuck it, have a beer.











or 9.

keithy_19
07-13-2007, 02:18 PM
Fuck it, have a beer.











or 9.

I had quite a bit of sangria last night. Not much of a beer fan, but it gets the job done.

Jujubees2
07-13-2007, 02:20 PM
Keith, all the suggestions posted above are spot on but the fact is you know yourself better than any of us and I think you know (or will know) what and how long it will take to get over her.

I was in a serious relationship for almost three years with a woman who I though was the one for me (I was in graduate school). She ended up telling me that she was never in love with me and that I had no self-confidence when she dumped me. I was a wreck for a long time. It took 4-5 years before I felt comfortable enough to date someone again. And as luck would have it, the next person I dated turned out to be my wife and we've been together for 15 years.

So chin up there Keithy!

Jujubees2
07-13-2007, 03:02 PM
Oh, and Keith here's a song from Ben Folds taht may help:

Song for the Dumped

then we have a little hearty
rock number for you...
about being dumped.
incidentally it's called:
Song for the Dumped.

so you wanted
to take a break
slow it down some
and have some space
well, fuck you too!

give me my money back
give me my money back, you bitch
I want my money back
and don't forget
and don't forget
to give me back my black t-shirt

I wish I hadn't
bought you dinner
right before you
dumped me on your front porch

give me my money back
give me my money back, you bitch
I want my money back
and don't forget
and don't forget
to give me back my black t-shirt

so you wanted
to take a break
slow it down some
and have some space

give me my money back
give me my money back, you bitch
I want my money back
I want my money back
and don't forget

1, 2, 3

thanks a lot, ya'll.
we're the Spice Girls,
we'll be back in March.