So... for everyone who's asked what's up with me...

[Bob Impact]

Here's the deal: I've had a lot of people ask me either in the chat or via PM what's going on with me, and I think a lot of people are a little too worried, so here's the deal, all at once:

A month and a half ago I developed what I thought at the time was a stomach bug, I was nauseous and vomiting at least 6 times a day and usually a lot more. When this didn't clear up I went to the doctor to see what was up. He started blood tests to check out my liver and pancreas, both of those tests came back fine. Since then I've gone through tests for Gastro Paralysis and Stomach cancer, both of which were negative. The next round of tests should (hopefully) figure it out. I don't want to get too in depth about my bowels(ge ge ge), but there was just too many people asking and worried about me for me to not answer everyone at once. I intentionally put this in the lounge because i figured my choices were either here or That's Life, and I didn't think me being sick was important enough to fit into the spirit of that forum. Plus, I didn't want to deprive you bastards of the chance to make ass jokes at my expense.

Long story short, i'm sick, but as far as we know, I'm fine and they'll be able to treat this thing with diet changes and medicine.

Edit: Please don't feel like you need to say you're sorry or you hope I get better, I wouldn't be offended if you do, but I didn't post this to garner sympathy. Smooches!

[Tall_James]

Best wishes for a speedy recovery Bob. Hope they catch that thing before it breaks out.

http://www.serenadawn.com/Alien-burster.jpg

[drjoek]

Thanks for the update we all care for ya through the internet

[Fallon]

Get well.

http://www.themoononline.com/images/stomach.jpg

[JPMNICK]

Lot of ass problems on this board. Maybe from sitting in front of a computer all day. we need more softball games to get people out and about.

thanks for the update bob

[SinA]

1. glad to hear you're optimistic, and hope you get back to 100% soon
2. thanks for keeping this out of "that's life"
3. ask the doctor if it might just be a fart caught sideways in your gut

[Bob Impact]

1. glad to hear you're optimistic, and hope you get back to 100% soon
2. thanks for keeping this out of "that's life"
3. ask the doctor if it might just be a fart caught sideways in your gut

On my first visit to the Gastric doctor he had my lie down and he was pushing my stomach. He remarked that I had a lot of gas hanging around in my gut, and pushed down and squeezed, which caused me to release a fart that sounded like a truck backfiring, which caused me to laugh like an asshole for 5 minutes.

[Hottub]

I would have done the same thing, Bob.

Hope you are back up to speed soon.

The Tubs.

[King Hippos Bandaid]

good luck Robert

that was a long story and you did not make it short

:king:

[HBox]

On my first visit to the Gastric doctor he had my lie down and he was pushing my stomach. He remarked that I had a lot of gas hanging around in my gut, and pushed down and squeezed, which caused me to release a fart that sounded like a truck backfiring, which caused me to laugh like an asshole for 5 minutes.

One time they thought I had gallstones and they did an ultrasound on me. I had so much gas down there they couldn't get a clear look at anything.

[Tenbatsuzen]

On my first visit to the Gastric doctor he had my lie down and he was pushing my stomach. He remarked that I had a lot of gas hanging around in my gut, and pushed down and squeezed, which caused me to release a fart that sounded like a truck backfiring, which caused me to laugh like an asshole for 5 minutes.

So, more farting?

[Don Stugots]

whats wrong with you mentally? i am sorry for Sarah.

[mikeyboy]

Sorry about your gas problems, Bob.

I'll mention this now because I've gottem a bunch of PMs asking -- at what point is it ok to ask Sarah out?

[Justice4all]

http://www.cinefex.com/backissues/number43.jpg

Maybe this could be the problem???

[The Blowhard]

Gastro problems really suck, that's why I choose Depends. Get well soon, buddy!

[Reephdweller]

Bob, you know we care about ya and want everything to go well. You and your bum ass need to get your shit together and straighten things out. If you can stomach it, you need to be strong. Just know we're behind you 100%.

Love ya babe, best of luck sweetie.

[Ritalin]

On my first visit to the Gastric doctor he had my lie down and he was pushing my stomach. He remarked that I had a lot of gas hanging around in my gut, and pushed down and squeezed, which caused me to release a fart that sounded like a truck backfiring, which caused me to laugh like an asshole for 5 minutes.

Ah, sweet relief.

[J.Clints]

Thanks for the update bob. I hope everything clears up.

[sailor]

glad you could clear the air.

[Gvac]

Soon sweet Sarah will be all mine!





Feel better Bob.

[ThePointer]

On my first visit to the Gastric doctor he had my lie down and he was pushing my stomach. He remarked that I had a lot of gas hanging around in my gut, and pushed down and squeezed, which caused me to release a fart that sounded like a truck backfiring, which caused me to laugh like an asshole for 5 minutes.
no wonder there is Global warming.

Hoping you get well soon and back on your feet. here is hoping poor Sarah can soon breathe freely

[EffMeBoobs]

It must have been our car ride to Bar 9. For that I apologize.


Feel better! We were in Bethel last night thinking about you guys!

[Marc with a c]

where's sarah?

[Don Stugots]

where's sarah?

she is in an oxygen tent so she doesnt have to smell him.

[FUNKMAN]

sorry your ass is broke :tongue:


seriously hope it's nothing serious and you make a full recovery!!

[Don Stugots]

bob is your problems a product of our love? i told you i was big. now you know why theresa would cry during sex.

[bobrobot]

Bless ya Bob!!! Maybe it's time to change yer board name to Bob Bowels!!!
Sometimes folk remedies are the best...
Have you considered sitting on a piece of cheese & swallowing a mouse?

http://www.petinfo4u.com/images/Cheese%20Block%20with%20mouse.JPG

Butt seriously folks...

[Bob Impact]

So I'm starving, and I have to go for an ultrasound and a CAT scan today. This sucks. Someone sneak me some food!

[Dougie Brootal]

So I'm starving, and I have to go for an ultrasound and a CAT scan today. This sucks. Someone sneak me some food!

ive got a 7 inch "italian sausage"....

[Bob Impact]

ive got a 7 inch "italian sausage"....

Only if I can bite it... just got back, I'll know when the bab'ys due tomorrow.

[Dougie Brootal]

Only if I can bite it... just got back, I'll know when the bab'ys due tomorrow.

kinky!

[EffMeBoobs]

So I'm starving, and I have to go for an ultrasound and a CAT scan today. This sucks. Someone sneak me some food!

I can do your ultrasound!! I bet I would have been nicer and used warm gel and not pushed your ribs so hard too. I know. They will do that.

I hope you feel better soon!

[Bob Impact]

I can do your ultrasound!! I bet I would have been nicer and used warm gel and not pushed your ribs so hard too. I know. They will do that.

I hope you feel better soon!

She was actually decent, she did use warm (almost hot) gel, but she kept tickling me when she had me on my side doing my kidneys, although I was thinking of you during the ultrasound.

[reillyluck]

nothing the five fingers cant handle!!! youre in my thoughts, bob.

[JustJon]

I can do your ultrasound!! I bet I would have been nicer and used warm gel and not pushed your ribs so hard too. I know. They will do that.

I hope you feel better soon!

And you might have gotten a happy ending too.

[EffMeBoobs]

She was actually decent, she did use warm (almost hot) gel, but she kept tickling me when she had me on my side doing my kidneys, although I was thinking of you during the ultrasound.

Ooooo!! I'm telling Sarah!!!

[EffMeBoobs]

And you might have gotten a happy ending too.

I'm always good for a happy ending.

[PhishHead]

have they tested for Ulcerative Colitis, Crohns, IBD, IBS, problems with the splenic fixture, or other things of that nature.

It took them over 6 years to finally get my diagnosis correct.

[Bob Impact]

Ooooo!! I'm telling Sarah!!!

just don't tell her about the two knuckle shuffle, I didn't even realize!

[Marc with a c]

bob can you start a thread for the people that could care less what you're up to?

[Bob Impact]

bob can you start a thread for the people that could care less what you're up to?

Eat it, cartoon man.

[Gvac]

bob can you start a thread for the people that could care less what you're up to?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! !


What a fucking prick!

I love Marc.

I love you too, Bob...but in a different way.

[Bulldogcakes]

Maybe Sarah is trying to poison you.





So she can be with me.






and then I wake up.




Feel better Bob!

[Don Stugots]

bob can you start a thread for the people that could care less what you're up to?

zactly.

did anyone really ask what is up with you? who are these people?

[Hottub]

So... for everyone who's asked what's up with me...


http://img175.imageshack.us/img175/6968/giveahey2qtju2.gif

[Friday]

I'm always good for a happy ending.

I feel jipped.


In other news... Boberino... hang in there!! I miss you and you are always in my prayers.

[Bulldogcakes]

I didn't post this to garner sympathy. Smooches!

http://cdn.maximonline.com/uploadedCmsFiles/Slides/35_jennifer_garner_3064.jpg

He posted it to Garner, Jennifer.