Hayseedisms

[Yerdaddy]

One thing hayseeds are good at is turning a good phrase.

I had an uncle who used to say about an ugly woman: "She could eat a apple through a chain-link fence."

I think it was in "Fletch" or "The Last Boy Scout" that someone said: "Happier 'n a puppy with two peckers."

"Nervouser than a cat in a room full of rockin chairs."

"Dumber 'n a sack a hammers."

Gimme yer best hayseedisms.

[IMSlacker]

"Better 'n a poke in the eye with a sharp stick."

[IamFogHat]

My chick's dad is a hayseed and I've heard him say 'more nervous than a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.'
(and she didn't grow up with him, so no, she's not a hayseed.)
Oh also, I've heard him say 'jerk a knot in your tail' which I think means to kick your ass.

[JerseyRich]

One that I always liked was referring to a sexy woman:

"She'd make a Hound Dog break it's chain!"

[topless_mike]

happier than a tornado in a trailer park - from the movie cars.

[A.J.]

"Crazier than a rat in a tin shithouse."

[prothunderball]

<a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A18711-2005Mar8_2.html">I prefer "Ratherisms"</a>

[Hottub]

Damn! My sister is HOT!!:nono:

[cupcakelove]

Git R Done

[marky2bucks]

Slicker than goose snot

[Jughead]

Higher than a Georgia pine....Higher than giraffe balls...That car has been hit more than Joe Lewis...My dad says ::::Lower than a snakes belly in a wheel rut...Or lower than whale shit...Stuff like that..

[angrymissy]

ten cent millionaire

[ScottFromGA]

Damn! My sister is HOT!!:nono:

I need to find my cowbell......::searching::

[SHANEFROMGA]

well piss fire and save matches

[ScottFromGA]

Good Lord willin and if the creek don't rise.

[DonInNC]

I'd post the ones I grew up hearing, but I don't want to get DiFranco'd.

[flipper21]

I once visited one of our factories in Savannah, GA and the old-timer Plant Engineer pointed to some guy and said "That boy ain't done a lick of work since Jesus shit yellow!"

Another of his, when he was surprised by something, was "Sweet Jesus on a go kart!"

[BoondockSaint]

"What's my zip code? 46041."

[J.Clints]

Im busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest

[Jughead]

"What's my zip code? 46041."

Dork!!!!!!!!:bye::bye:

[ScottFromGA]

stupider than a screendoor on a submarine.

[J.Clints]

If the south would have won we would have had it made.

[Jughead]

Busier than a one armed paper hanger...

[buzzard]

Happier than ants at a picnic :drunk:

[EliSnow]

If the south would have won we would have had it made.

I heard that from a man on Long Island. Defiinite hayseed statement.

[Recyclerz]

I heard this one from a Southern colleague at my old job:

That boy is a day late and a dollar short.

[Jughead]

My old boss used this one....That boy is about a half a bubble out of plumb ....

[Jughead]

Car sayings....he couldn't sell pussy on a troop train...He couldn't sell pop corn at a free movie....

[Gvac]

When drunk - "Piss on the fire and call in the dogs; I'm goin' home."

When misfortune hits - "Worse shit's happened to better people."

"She's so ugly she could scare a buzzard off a shit wagon."

[King Hippos Bandaid]

I like when those Rhubarb Hayseeds say Dang It

or in 1884 I surrender

:king:

[Don Stugots]

"i dont care how you used to do it up north!"

"da south gonna do it again." do what?

[PapaBear]

"It felt like I got hit in the head with a sack of chisels."

Oh... Wait. Nevermind.

[BoondockSaint]

"He's my brotherdad."
"She's my sistermom."

[Enabler]

"Finer than a frogs hair"--- Corky Watley

[Yerdaddy]

Where's this from: "I'll git them doors open if it hairlips ever'body on Deer Creek!"

My grandma used to say to me when I couldn't decide something: "Shit or git off the pot, Yerdaddy!"

"She's uglier than a bucket full of armpits."

Dumb: "He lost some dots off his dice."

[Hottub]

Not bad, fer a couple of hairlips.

This boy gets more ass than a tawlet seat!

[Jughead]

She look's like she ran through a ugly forest and hit every tree...I'm too good at these....

[Jughead]

Last time I saw a mouth like that I was taking a hook out of it...

[midwestjeff]

"i wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers"

"that boy's got about as much cooth as a tird in a punchbowl"

"tighten up"

"hi, Jeff"

[tele7]

Useless as tits on a bull

[tele7]

"You look like two miles of bad road"

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/a/a0/Foghorn_Leghorn.png/200px-Foghorn_Leghorn.png

[Fezticle98]

Happiern' a pig in shit.

Not funny ha-ha, funny queer.

There were these two fellars standin' on a bridge, a-goin' to the bathroom. One fellar said, "The water's cold" and the other fellar said, "The water's deep". I believe one fella come from Arkansas. Get it?

[Kevin]

Where's this from: "I'll git them doors open if it hairlips ever'body on Deer Creek!"

My grandma used to say to me when I couldn't decide something: "Shit or git off the pot, Yerdaddy!"

"She's uglier than a bucket full of armpits."

Dumb: "He lost some dots off his dice."

Your Grandma called you Yerdaddy??

[waltermitty]

"The South will rise again!"



That's a Hayseedism, not a statement or declaration.....

[Yerdaddy]

Your Grandma called you Yerdaddy??

What's so strange about that? I call her Reeshy.

[PapaBear]

How'ya want yer grits?

[StupidGirlllll]

what is a Hayseeder?

[mendyweiss]

I did'nt just fall off the turnip truck you know !!

[Cleophus James]

Before going out on Friday night in high school someones dad would say,
"What cha guys doing tonight.... Fighten and fucking?"

[envirogator]

When trying to get someone to do something for you an old boss of mine used to say " you go tell 'em whose hog ate the cabbage" and if that didn't work, "you tell him I'm gonna clean his plow".

[scottinnj]

More perverted then a [you] at a 10 dollar an hour motel.