What Did I Get Myself Into??!!!

[Reephdweller]

This is more of a work related question. How do you deal with people you work with who have opinions on the way to do things at the job that is different from your own opinion and be able to do so intelligently without ruffling feathers.

Case in point I am a supervisor and I work with two other supervisors. One of the supervisors is brand new to the job and she publicly voiced an opinion to one of the higher ups on the way to do one of the things that we do in our jobs. When I came in to work that day she got me just as I walked in and started telling me about it. I really wasn't ready for her so I pretty much yes'd her because I wanted to go about my business. I wanted to see where she was going with it logically but I also wanted to move on. What she suggested I didn't agree with, but I didn't say anything. Now a week later she's going around saying that she and I are in agreement on this but I'm not. Instead I now look like an ass for not speaking up at the time and waiting until I was settled and could absorb things more. The other supervisor voiced her opinion as soon as she was asked (which was a few days later), she had time to think it over and to intelligently respond to her. I totally agree with her opinion, but because I never said anything I ended up looking like an idiot.

My problem is that I don't always know the best approach to responding with a differing opinion especially on the spot. For one thing these two women have alternate view points. By not saying anything, I've magically placed myself in the middle of them...(not a good place). One of the things that concerned me at the time was that I didn't want to end up in an argument with the new supervisor - I'm still trying to build up a repore with her. I also wanted to hear her out primarily because she is new and I wanted to hear an outside perspective. I now feel like because I didn't say anything I'm lumped in with her, and I'm probably going to get slammed because the thing she believed in is wrong and will likely open a debate that I didn't want to get into.

I guess I just don't know enough about how to let someone talk and say something without sounding like I agree with them. I want to be able to hear them out and understand where their coming from but I don't know how to do that without sounding like I agree with them. Any ideas on how to probe for details without coming off that way?

[sailor]

yeah, you can't turn around and throw her under the bus. you have to make her idea work somehow.

[CofyCrakCocaine]

Well, that is a tricky question. While you are being Vincent VagueA with the details, I generally get the idea of what you're asking. So here goes.

I think you have to look at something with the intent of either agreeing or disagreeing. If she is asking for your endorsement of whatever it is she is talking about, you flat out give her your answer...while being nice about it...and diplomatic...and considerate. At the very least, if you disagree, you do so but not rudely. If she can't take a hint, or whatnaught, then you are permitted to be brusque in a non-insulting manner. Then again, I don't know your job so I don't know when you're allowed to be brusque and when you're not. But if I were in that situation, that's how I would play it. Regardless of rules.

Also, if you disagree with her idea and she's walking around saying "T is agreeing with me" you should set her straight right away, preferably in privacy so as not to make her lose face with her other employees. You don't want to let her know you disagree with her in a "behind your back" sorta way. That leads to senses of betrayal and resentment, which is fucking A-Class Toxic for a work environment.

As for probing for details... you can always just ask questions. But if you want to probe for details, I recommend you do so when you are actually in the mood to do so- if she catches you off guard, you say, 'Later, I have a couple things to do this instant that are on my mind so let me think about it and I'll get back to you on it in 5 minutes' or something like that. That usually helps. My ADHD-addled brain requires some time to process information anyway. When you're more with it, and able to listen or "probe for details without taking a side", is when you should talk to her. Don't brush it aside, or rush it. Give it thought, give it consideration. If she wants to know your opinion, then you can be honest. Again, be honest in a nice way. "Well, I like the idea that you are pushing forward, it's really quite useful in this and that...BUT...it doesn't really work in the end cuz A)B)C) and so on. Hopefully that helps and I'm not talking out my ase.

[Reephdweller]

I'm sorry I was vague in my approach. I wrote it that way because I've done this before in other situations so I felt it was better to be more generic.

Ok here's the situation. Each supervisor has about 15-17 employees under them. I work in a call center, the standard goal set forth by our director is that we evaluate each of our respective employees four times during the calendar month. In addition to evaluating our employees 4 times, the employes are also evaluated by the quality department at corporate. I review all of the evaluations, the scores and a certain portion of the calls I lsten back to with the employee with coaching and training purposes.

9 times out of 10 I meet these goals and then some, so it's no problem for me or the other supervisor to do. We have both found the proper way to manage our time and get our work done and of late have found the perfect groove to the point where both of our groups have very high quality scores.

The new supervisor I don't think is really doing a good job of managing her team. She suggested that we only focus on the "bad" employees and pretty much ignore the good ones. We really can't do that though, we are in a union environment so everyone needs to be treated equally. I listened to her suggestion but I didn't tell her that I disagreed with her. I was wrong to do that, especially since it has put the other supervisor in a bad spot because now she seems like the bad guy. I feel bad because I should have spoken up or countered her at the time that I disagreed. I just wanted to get more info from her, but I guess by me doing so I appeared to be agreeing with her. Plus by me not saying anything it only confirmed to her that I must agree. I was wrong to do that.

[Reephdweller]

It seems I've smoothed things over well with the other supervisor, it's just the new one I have to deal with. Problem is, that I am out on vacation from tomorrow through next week so I hope that nothing blows up from all this and I come into a nightmare when I get back.

[CofyCrakCocaine]

Well you could offer to give advice to the supervisor you agree with, via email. If shit hits the fan, she's free to ask your advice/consul or something via email. It IS your vacation so I doubt you wanna do that per say. But it *might* give you forewarning of what's going on in your absence...which might better prep you in case something does in fact go crazy. So you come back with guns blazing instead of just ur dick in your hand.

[Reephdweller]

Well you could offer to give advice to the supervisor you agree with, via email. If shit hits the fan, she's free to ask your advice/consul or something via email. It IS your vacation so I doubt you wanna do that per say. But it *might* give you forewarning of what's going on in your absence...which might better prep you in case something does in fact go crazy. So you come back with guns blazing instead of just ur dick in your hand.

Believe me if anything goes down the supervisor that I agree with will tell me, so I'll know in advance.

Thanks :)

[CofyCrakCocaine]

Believe me if anything goes down the supervisor that I agree with will tell me, so I'll know in advance.

Thanks :)

Then my work here is done. :cool:

[SatCam]

Just tell the new chick you thought about it further and you disagree with her on some points

the line I always use is "I see what you're saying". It's not "I agree with you" but it's also not "Your idea is shit". Then you go ahead and explain why your idea is better. Just keep in mind her intentions are good and she has her head in the right place. Start from there and work up