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Rectum? It damn near killed him. [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard

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Judge Smails
07-24-2007, 11:07 AM
. . . that old gag. (http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,22124882-13762,00.html?from=mostpop)(How soon before we're reading about Dave doing something like this in a drunken stupor?)


A man rammed a pool cue into the rectum of a drunken friend with such force it snapped off, leaving 31 centimetres stuck inside his bowel, the Tasmanian Supreme Court in Hobart has been told.


Roofer Matthew Noel Triffett, 21, who'd previously pleaded guilty to a charge of grievous bodily harm, was given a six-month jail sentence, suspended for two years, and was ordered to perform 140 hours of community service.

*****

The court was told Triffett had drunk alcohol at various locations around Hobart to celebrate the birthday of one of two friends with him at the time.

Justice Crawford said the trio ended up at the Village Green Tavern, east of Hobart, where the complainant crashed to the floor with his buttocks exposed while his friend ran around the pub in the nude.

He said Triffett had used considerable force to thrust the cue into the man's anus, including lateral force, because it snapped in two.

"What he (Triffett) did excites disgust and horror," Justice Crawford said.

He said Triffett thought it was a big joke until the full extent of what he had done was revealed.

In crippling pain, the complainant went home and removed the cue from his rectum.

Unable to tolerate the agony any longer, he went to Royal Hobart Hospital three days later and underwent immediate surgery for a perforated colon.

His body waste had been emptying into his body cavity, which could have killed him, Justice Crawford said.

King Hippos Bandaid
07-24-2007, 11:18 AM
Did He Call Anus Side Pocket Before inserting

:king:

cupcakelove
07-24-2007, 11:26 AM
I can't believe it took the guy three days to go to the hospital.

Jughead
07-24-2007, 11:27 AM
A lot or no chalk????

tele7
07-24-2007, 12:34 PM
No wire pool cues!!!

Bulldogcakes
07-24-2007, 12:43 PM
The problem here is the speed.

If he had done it more slowly, they both might have had a memorable evening.

KC2OSO
07-24-2007, 12:50 PM
Them Aussies know how to party fair dinkum.

The olde air compressor and nozzle plugged into some poor chap's butt with associated exploded colon story surfaces regularly too and is always good for a laugh.

What always gets me is how hard do you have to be drinking (in a pub no less) to get to a point where one guy is dancing naked and the other has a pool cue broken off in his ass?

FUNKMAN
07-24-2007, 03:18 PM
the doctor had to use a bridge to maneuver around the small intestine

DonInNC
07-24-2007, 03:26 PM
Hope he doesn't scratch

Hottub
07-24-2007, 03:31 PM
http://www.somareview.com/VitoSopranos.jpeg

cougarjake13
07-24-2007, 04:11 PM
I can't believe it took the guy three days to go to the hospital.

i cant believe he didnt die by not going for 3 days

FUNKMAN
07-24-2007, 04:17 PM
rumor has it he's got a tryout with the local football team

wide receiver

cougarjake13
07-24-2007, 04:54 PM
rumor has it he's got a tryout with the local football team

wide receiver

yeh thats b/c he lost his job as the catcher for the aussie national team

DarkHippie
07-24-2007, 04:54 PM
It was a million to one shot, Doc

FUNKMAN
07-24-2007, 04:58 PM
sounds like he copped some bad crack

Hottub
07-24-2007, 05:02 PM
The Official report was Botulism...

FUNKMAN
07-24-2007, 05:37 PM
he had to wipe his ass with a pencil sharpener

what the?

sr71blackbird
07-24-2007, 06:27 PM
And they say not to insert Q tips into your ear canal....

FUNKMAN
07-24-2007, 06:38 PM
rumor has it he's really upset over the whole thing. family members said he was ready to break