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thepaulo
07-26-2007, 06:10 PM
when you see a movie like Live Free or Die Hard, John McClaine goes through more shit than most of us see in a lifetime.....
Of course, if you been to war, it probably goes without saying you've been in the shit....
but some people maybe live their whole life in boring complacency.....
I know i've been in a few close calls.....
is your life a movie?

King Hippos Bandaid
07-26-2007, 06:17 PM
being allergic to Bees, i was chased by thousands of Bees when the Queen Bee visited the tree in front of my house

I was a True Hero to Survive this

:king:

DarkHippie
07-26-2007, 06:24 PM
i fell down a cliff

Death Metal Moe
07-26-2007, 06:26 PM
Only on the road for a few split seconds, nothing more than that though.

weekapaugjz
07-26-2007, 06:27 PM
i was rear ended by a semi one time. i was on a country road waiting for the car in front of me to make a left turn after the traffic passed. i looked into my rearview just in time to see a mack truck slamming into me. if i would have been in a small car i probably would have been in serious trouble. good thing my old jeep grand cherokee could take a collision. i will never drive anything but a jeep after seeing how it took the accident.

Fezticle98
07-26-2007, 06:27 PM
I got hit by a car once. My friends said it was pretty movie-like.

Marc with a c
07-26-2007, 06:42 PM
i was hiking one time, and i fell down this gorge type thing, and my arm got stuck in between two huge rocks so i had to break the bones in my arm and cut through my own skin with a pocket knife just to escape.

reillyluck
07-26-2007, 07:23 PM
i had a gun pulled on me while coming home from a mets game.

reillyluck
07-26-2007, 07:25 PM
i was at a gay bar one time, and i fell down on the dance floor, and my arm got stuck in between two huge cocks .

ttthats terrible, im sorry.

PopPop
07-26-2007, 07:27 PM
I was mowing with a rotary mower and tractor once and saw a piece of barbed wire sticking out of the mower. Put the tractor in neutral, reached back and with a gloved hand grabbed the wire to pull it out. As soon as I did it I realized just how stupid it was as the blades grabed the wire and proceeded to pull the wire into the whirling blades. The barbs bit into the glove and my hand and started pulling me off the Ford 8-N backwards. I ripped my hand out of the glove and bled quite a bit. My first thought was that I just narrowly missed some natural selection. The blades on the mower were wrapped with the wire and the glove was cut to shreds. That woud have been my arm. Just plain hayseed dumb.

BoondockSaint
07-26-2007, 07:29 PM
Once:

http://www.riotvideo.com/videoimages/454361512399131564.png

jetdog
07-26-2007, 07:53 PM
I've been in real danger. I put myself there. I will never forget it nor will I ever forgive myself, because I put other people in real danger also.

IMSlacker
07-26-2007, 08:00 PM
Once my I was on a flight with my rugby team and our plane crashed in the Andes. I had to eat some of my teammates to survive.

buzzard
07-26-2007, 08:11 PM
Not too long ago this idiot neighbor tried to run me over with his Bronco cuz I asked his kids to stop walking across my driveway(for real)he's in jail,I moved.:clap:

mdr55
07-26-2007, 08:56 PM
i had a gun pulled on me while coming home from a mets game.

Did the Mets win?

Fezticle98
07-26-2007, 09:01 PM
Not too long ago this idiot neighbor tried to run me over with his Bronco cuz I asked his kids to stop walking across my driveway(for real)he's in jail,I moved.:clap:

Not that the dude's response was in any way reasonable, but why didn't you want the kids walking across your driveway?

DarkHippie
07-26-2007, 09:06 PM
Once my I was on a flight with my rugby team and our plane crashed in the Andes. I had to eat some of my teammates to survive.

I hope its a women's rugby team

Turtle
07-26-2007, 09:08 PM
I was a tank commaner during the First Gulf War.

ScottFromGA
07-26-2007, 09:08 PM
i fell down a cliff

did it make a whistling noise and a cloud of dust poofed up when you hit the ground?

reillyluck
07-26-2007, 09:10 PM
Did the Mets win?

hell yeah....we beat the Braves 5-3

BoondockSaint
07-26-2007, 09:14 PM
hell yeah....we beat the Braves 5-3

How come you never show up in the Mets thread? It's cougarjake, isn't it?

IMSlacker
07-26-2007, 09:34 PM
There was also the time on Halloween when I was throwing eggs at the door of a major league baseball player. He decided to chase me in his car and nearly ran me over.

Fezticle98
07-26-2007, 09:37 PM
There was also the time on Halloween when I was throwing eggs at the door of a major league baseball player. He decided to chase me in his car and nearly ran me over.

Was it Joey Belle?

Reminds me of the time a major leaguer threw a firecracker out of his car and nearly blew my hand off.

cupcakelove
07-26-2007, 09:37 PM
Everyone lives in real danger. Anybody can die at any minute, that's just a fact of life.

reillyluck
07-26-2007, 09:38 PM
How come you never show up in the Mets thread? It's cougarjake, isn't it?

hahaha!!! I didnt think girls were allowed to go in there!!!

BoondockSaint
07-26-2007, 09:40 PM
hahaha!!! I didnt think girls were aloud to go in there!!!


Bossanova is in there all the time!!!!

IMSlacker
07-26-2007, 09:41 PM
Was it Joey Belle?

Reminds me of the time a major leaguer threw a firecracker out of his car and nearly blew my hand off.

Oh, don't call him Joey! He hates that!

sailor
07-26-2007, 09:44 PM
once, i was at my parents' house and a drug dealer and my friends was driving up to pick me up. as the car pulled up and i walked towards it, a guy came out of the alleyway and started firing an automatic basically across our path at some rival drug dealers in the park. good times!

(maybe i didn't get the motif of the thread, but my story was real. :( )

Crispy123
07-26-2007, 09:46 PM
I was in a plane out over the Mediterranean Sea. We were refueling some helicopters when the C-130 burst into flames. Part of our airplane came off (the refueling hose) and stayed on the front of the helicopter.

Immediately the two aircraft separated. The helicopters descended and headed South towards their Aircraft Carrier. We were on fire and turned immediately West towards land.

The pilot asked the observer in the back how the wing fire was looking. The refueling pod had caught on fire and we were streaking flames behind us. The flame was bright yellow and orange and was climbing up the pod towards the wing and main fuel tanks.

We were 8 minutes away from the closest airfield. It was enough time to consider ditching the plane out into the ocean. We decided to press and haul ass for land. It ended up taking 7 1/2 minutes and as soon as we touched down, the pilot slammed on the brakes, and we got the hell off the plane as the fire trucks rolled up.
http://www.air-and-space.com/20031018%20Miramar/4%2034%20KC-130F%20149795%20VMGR-352%20CH-53E%20HMH-466%20l.jpg

The CH-53 ended up making it back to the carrier and landed safely with the hose still attached to the front. There were no procedures written for a refueling pod fire so the books had to be re-done to include the scenario we went through. Apparently a screw inside the reel for the refueling hose was inserted backwards and rubbed against the hose so much that it snapped and ignited the fuel that was passing through it.

foodcourtdruide
07-26-2007, 09:49 PM
I was in a plane out over the Mediterranean Sea. We were refueling some helicopters when the C-130 burst into flames. Part of our airplane came off (the refueling hose) and stayed on the front of the helicopter.

Immediately the two aircraft separated. The helicopters descended and headed South towards their Aircraft Carrier. We were on fire and turned immediately West towards land.

The pilot asked the observer in the back how the wing fire was looking. The refueling pod had caught on fire and we were streaking flames behind us. The flame was bright yellow and orange and was climbing up the pod towards the wing and main fuel tanks.

We were 8 minutes away from the closest airfield. It was enough time to consider ditching the plane out into the ocean. We decided to press and haul ass for land. It ended up taking 7 1/2 minutes and as soon as we touched down, the pilot slammed on the brakes, and we got the hell off the plane as the fire trucks rolled up.
http://www.air-and-space.com/20031018%20Miramar/4%2034%20KC-130F%20149795%20VMGR-352%20CH-53E%20HMH-466%20l.jpg

The CH-53 ended up making it back to the carrier and landed safely with the hose still attached to the front. There were no procedures written for a refueling pod fire so the books had to be re-done to include the scenario we went through. Apparently a screw inside the reel for the refueling hose was inserted backwards and rubbed against the hose so much that it snapped and ignited the fuel that was passing through it.

WOW! That is an absolutely fucking amazing story!

It beats the shit out of the time I left a cigarette in the ashtray! I'm not even going to tell that story now.

Crispy123
07-26-2007, 09:56 PM
WOW! That is an absolutely fucking amazing story!

It beats the shit out of the time I left a cigarette in the ashtray! I'm not even going to tell that story now.

Thanks. I forgot to add the fire had eaten up most of the flaps on the wing and we were probably seconds from losing an engine or the entire wing. I drank a lot of beer and smoked a few cigarettes that night.

IMSlacker
07-26-2007, 09:56 PM
once, i was at my parents' house and a drug dealer and my friends was driving up to pick me up. as the car pulled up and i walked towards it, a guy came out of the alleyway and started firing an automatic basically across our path at some rival drug dealers in the park. good times!

(maybe i didn't get the motif of the thread, but my story was real. :( )

No, I think real stories are the original intent of the thread. I just don't have any good ones.

I'm not following the first sentence. Was the drug dealer your friend?

Bossanova
07-26-2007, 10:02 PM
Bossanova is in there all the time!!!!

You prick fuck

sailor
07-26-2007, 10:06 PM
No, I think real stories are the original intent of the thread. I just don't have any good ones.

I'm not following the first sentence. Was the drug dealer your friend?

ha...i just botched my editing. corrected:

once, i was at my parents' house and my friends were driving up to pick me up. as the car pulled up and i walked towards it, a guy came out of the alleyway and started firing an automatic basically across our path at some rival drug dealers in the park. good times!

sorry for the confusion. i had no drug-dealing pals.

deepinthewoods
07-26-2007, 11:29 PM
One evening back in the vainglorious 80's a friend and I were on cigarette patrol in downtown Detroit. Of course, we were fully decked out with coloured mohawks, leathers, face paint, boots, pyramids, spikes...the works. In fact, my compatriot was wearing his sunglasses at night (prescription Ray-Bans). We thought we were OK because Woodward Ave was a 4 lane major artery which was fairly well lit (though we were well below the punk/white safety net of 8 Mile). About 6 blocks into our trek a car screeched to a stop on a side street behind us and I suddenly felt a fist against the back of my head. "What the fuck are you doing in my neighborhood?" Another fist slammed into my friend and we turned to see 6 Arab-American 20-somethings pouring out of a Mercedes, laughing and smiling, ready to decorate the town with weirdo parts (we were in a what was known at the time as the Chaldean part of Detroit) . The target Union 76 where the life enhancing cigarettes lived was about 2 blocks off and shone like a sun in the distance, so we decided to make a break for this shiny Xanadu of safety. Luckily, our attackers did not want to leave their car behind and so returned to the vehicle to try and head us off at the pass.
We made it to the station alright, relieved to be near both light and the now much desired tobacco products. Comically, though, we rounded the corner into the blinding fluorescents only to see that the entire complex was populated exclusively by another 30 or so 20-something Arab-American youths who apparently did not need to be told what to think about us by the first 6. Like something out of a slapstick film, the entire gas station opened up on us with rocks, sticks, hubcaps, glass bottles (those were the days), curses and war whoops. Even worse, assault force number one pulled up again to join the fracas, this time with baseball bats unsheathed. Corey Hart Jr and I skanked our worthless punk asses to what would normally be a horrifying I-am-going-to-be-raped-and-murdered-and-cannibalized dark Detroit mugger alley. We scavenged a couple old lead pipes (no mean feat because metals are usually a quickly devoured commodity in medieval Motown) and sprinted the 8 blocks back to home base (sans smokes, I might add). Our advantage was that all of our pursuers were, obviously, drivers, and they tried to regroup in their vehicles rather than going it on foot. Large D-town blocks and the scary, scary alley managed to save the Mohicans from being scalped! I like to think that there WERE some muggers skulking in the shadows, but the sight of 2 blurry goth bullets, shifted blue coming, and red going, was either frightening or hilarious enough to quell their violent urges for that split second that we passed into their terror-sphere.
Our report at headquarters spurred the other three subhumans, eagerly awaiting the smoky treats, into action; with a couple knives, an aluminum bat and a hatchet(!) added to the mix. My friend and I made it clear that both our running and fighting days were over and that to die in what amounted to a deadly game of Pac-Man seemed somehow uncouth to our breeding. The mood was calmed by a battered copy of The Cure's "17 Seconds" and we all enjoyed fishing butts out of the household ashtrays until a couple hours had passed and we finally screwed up enough desperation to take someone's car to a gas station on the opposite edge of town. An edge of town where we were still strangers, but not strangers who, it would seem, deserved to die. And though we achieved neither death nor glory, ours WAS just another story in the post apocalyptic landscape that was (and still is) Detroit. Fresh cigarettes never tasted better.

"if you ran like a punk
it wouldn't amaze me"

--Ice T

PapaBear
07-26-2007, 11:46 PM
I had an idiotic Old Dominion University cop point a 9mm at my face and threatened to blow my head off. He didn't even identify himself as a cop until my buddy and I were already beating the crap out of him. That was pretty dangerous.

ChrisTheCop
07-27-2007, 01:29 AM
Yep.

Soupy_Dreck
07-27-2007, 10:59 AM
i was in a bar when a biker brawl broke out. Apparently, the loser didn't like coming up on the short end of the stick and shot the place up. Being huddled on the floor as glass broke wasn't the way i envisioned the night going and to top it off, i was too far from my beer. i could see it, i just couldn't reach for it. Needless to say, i immediately applied for my carry permit.

Earlshog
07-27-2007, 11:02 AM
i had a gun pulled on me while coming home from a mets game.


who was it Doc or Strawberry?

envirogator
07-27-2007, 11:47 AM
Grave danger?












Is there any other kind?

Yerdaddy
07-27-2007, 12:35 PM
I had unprotected sex in Bangkok.

Thank God the girl was German!

thepaulo
07-27-2007, 01:38 PM
twice i walked away from someone claiming to rob me at gunpoint......
once i became stuck for a few hours in an underground cave......
once i lost my nerve half way up a cliff and had to hang tough for a while until i could stop the anxiety attack......

to be continued....

AlabamaMan
07-27-2007, 03:28 PM
i was hiking one time, and i fell down this gorge type thing, and my arm got stuck in between two huge rocks so i had to break the bones in my arm and cut through my own skin with a pocket knife just to escape.

Yeah, I heard about you. You Sir are A true Man! By the way did you go with a hook or the three swords like the guy in Enter the Dragon. I would have chosen the Enter the Dragon option

ralphbxny
07-27-2007, 04:11 PM
I got a gold chain stole from me at gun point.

I was in South Florida for Hurricane Wilma.

I got hit by a car.

I turned my car over twice once.

If I thought more I could probably think of more stuff but I try and block that bad stuff out.

Sarge
07-27-2007, 04:14 PM
Been there.

fupduck
07-30-2007, 11:05 PM
My son and I were diving on a sunken U-boat off Rhode Island. At the end of the dive we followed the line up from 120ft and after the required stop, we found the parted rope ended just below the surface.
We had to let go and surface and started drifting away from the line. We saw what may have been our boat about 2 miles away. The girls were sunbathing and didnt notice it had cut free.
15 minutes of "Open Water" was quite a rush before they came back looking for us.
We may have gotten lucky and been found a passing freighter, but not a bet I would want to take.

For some reason I never had an urge to see that movie.

FUNKMAN
07-31-2007, 12:18 AM
when i was 10 three men came in our apt and held us up at gunpoint. us included my mom, dad, brother bill who was 12 and brother mike who was 5. at one point they were gonna tie us up but mike began crying and it seemed they got a bit nervous and left shortly after.

was in a head-on collision, the other driver didn't make it. he was speeding, lost control and came in our lane. that's why i have 15 false teeth, man that steering wheel took a beaten :-)

when i was between 5 and 8 I was a second or two from drowning at a family gathering at my uncle's home. if my aunt didn't notice me and frantically waving my fingers just above the surface of the water it was over...

PapaBear
07-31-2007, 12:22 AM
when i was 10 three men came in our apt and held us up at gunpoint. us included my mom, dad, brother bill who was 12 and brother mike who was 5. at one point they were gonna tie us up but mike began crying and it seemed they got a bit nervous and left shortly after.

was in a head-on collision, the other driver didn't make it. he was speeding, lost control and came in our lane. that's why i have 15 false teeth, man that steering wheel took a beaten :-)

when i was between 5 and 8 I was a second or two from drowning at a family gathering at my uncle's home. if my aunt didn't notice me and frantically waving my fingers just above the surface of the water it was over...
The robbery must have been scary as shit!

The wreck reminds me of one an ex girlfriend had. The guy that hit her wasn't restrained and didn't come close to surviving. She was belted and had an air bag and barely survived. She ended up speaking before Congress about seat belts and air bags.

FUNKMAN
07-31-2007, 12:38 AM
when i was 10 three men came in our apt and held us up at gunpoint. us included my mom, dad, brother bill who was 12 and brother mike who was 5. at one point they were gonna tie us up but mike began crying and it seemed they got a bit nervous and left shortly after.

was in a head-on collision, the other driver didn't make it. he was speeding, lost control and came in our lane. that's why i have 15 false teeth, man that steering wheel took a beaten :-)

when i was between 5 and 8 I was a second or two from drowning at a family gathering at my uncle's home. if my aunt didn't notice me and frantically waving my fingers just above the surface of the water it was over...

The robbery must have been scary as shit!

The wreck reminds me of one an ex girlfriend had. The guy that hit her wasn't restrained and didn't come close to surviving. She was belted and had an air bag and barely survived. She ended up speaking before Congress about seat belts and air bags.

i remember the robbery being kind of surreal. my brothers and i were in a back room playing pool(yeah we had a pool table in a railroad apt on the 4th floor) anyway I hear my mom slightly yell in a scared voice for my dad and then my dad calling us. I looked through a few of the rooms and wondering 'what the heck is that' as I saw the three men, the gun, and my parents. we didn't have a peephole and the guys knocked on the door. my mom asked 'who is it' and she thought they said a name of one of my eldest brother's friends and opened the door.

my mom was very nervous and kept telling them a cop lived downstairs and they should leave or they are gonna get caught. my dad wanted to start throwing punches but was too nervous for the kids. as they left my dad jumped up in the ceiling and got his snubnose 32 and loaded it as we ran downstairs. as soon as we went out the door a cop car pulled up to the corner. a little too much time elapsed and the robbers were no where to be found.

with the car accident it was 2am and my ex and I were coming from Kearney towards the Turnpike. I wasn't drunk and the roads were icey so i was going pretty slow. Turns out the guy was really going fast, he skidded and came into our car sideways. So I never saw the headlights and never even hit the brake. This was in 87 and we weren't wearing seatbelts. He died because the nose of our car hit his driver's side door and pushed in up to his center console(saw cars at the garage afterwards) so he had too much internal injury.

to show how fast he was going you would think if you hit someone in their drivers door their car would stop or get pushed back. after we hit his car continued down the road for 75 feet.

A.J.
07-31-2007, 02:50 AM
I almost drowned in my Aunt's pool when I was 2 or 3.

I had guns pulled on me in college.

If I had been on the way to my Pentagon office on 9/11 I'd probably been at the point of impact.

MellySmelly
07-31-2007, 03:29 AM
I have had guns pointed at me when I lived in Detroit while trying to help a woman having a domestic problem.

I was violently attacked and beaten when I was 21.

A few years ago, I had a dead baby who had been killed by it's mother in my arms trying to give it CPR.

I had a crazy person try to cut me in half with an axe.

I can't tell you how many times I almost crashed when I worked as a flight attendant.

So, yeah lol

PapaBear
07-31-2007, 03:32 AM
I can't tell you how many times I almost crashed when I worked as a flight attendant.
I hope Fez doesn't read this!

Yerdaddy
07-31-2007, 03:33 AM
My mom thought I might come out half Mexican. Fortunately when she gave him the coathanger and said "Get to work" he stole her car and left.

Reynolds
07-31-2007, 04:35 AM
Once in 8th grade, my girlfriend was sleeping over at one of my neighbor's houses across the street(her friend). They called me to tell me that the people next door were screaming at each other, and some fighting was going on, so I went over to check it out, and then talked to my girlfriend through the neighbor's window. The guy that was involved in the fight took off in his car past the house my girlfriend was in, and started firing shots through the window behind the car. First shot I hid behind a tree.

We called the police, one shot lodged in the tree I was hiding behind, another two bullets went into the side of the house, through the wall and into the adjacent wall inside the house, lucky fucker.

Skellington
07-31-2007, 12:11 PM
I was on my Katana on 66E doing 55mph until an Escalade or Excursion switched lanes...into me (no blinker, just wung on over). I haven't ridden a motorcycle since. The asshat had no clue he merged onto me either, other people had to chase him down.

Badinia
07-31-2007, 01:45 PM
I was at a late-night rave in an industrial park, and I was walking with a friend, and we were promptly mugged. We were on several types of drugs, and it didn't go well- a shot rang out, and the muggers ran off, and my friend and I had to examine each other to see who had been shot. It was him.

I had a lot of adventures that night: I got to call an ambulance, talk to the cops, and go to the hospital on acid. The nurse in the ambulance said that although she did not condone its use, the large amounts of ketamine in my friend's system probably kept him out of shock. He literally felt no pain. And he's fine now.

buzzard
07-31-2007, 03:02 PM
Not that the dude's response was in any way reasonable, but why didn't you want the kids walking across your driveway? If yer serious,I'll answer anyway....cuz that's where my car came out of the garage(blindspot)..his kids were below bumper height.

thepaulo
08-10-2007, 01:55 PM
Driving at 4am on a four lane.......fell asleep....swerved back and forth across all four lanes

Are Gee
08-10-2007, 04:26 PM
When I was 12 me and my buddy Vic were walking home pretty close to midnight. For some reason I felt a need to stop. I put my arm to stop Vic from walking as well.. As soon as we stopped.. a car drove by and whipped a 40 bottle at the wall next to us. The bottle hit two feet in front of us. If we hadn't stopped I would be dead.

After this the car whipped around and chased us. They eventually caught up and tackled us to the floor.

We fought back, but only for a moment. They stopped once we were pinned. Turns out, they thought we were somebody else. They got in the car and drove away. I'm pretty sure an apology was in order... some people aren't that considerate I guess.

thepaulo
08-10-2007, 08:31 PM
here's a good one...I was about 10....my father and I were walking up a hill....about 10 feet behind us, an air conditioner crashed 6 stories down to the sidewalk....

Mike from Bklyn
08-10-2007, 08:42 PM
Had a butchers knife pulled on me.

Been jumped by three guys in a dark parking lot.

Had about 10 - 12 guys going fucking crazy on a subway car about 10pm. Two other working guys and myself. They both got their faces slapped in and I didn't get touched.

I'm a very lucky person.

Are Gee
08-11-2007, 01:14 PM
Had about 10 - 12 guys going fucking crazy on a subway car about 10pm. Two other working guys and myself. They both got their faces slapped in and I didn't get touched.

I'm a very lucky person.

People are nuts. These crazy guys just smacked these two guys for no reason lol.

citymedic27
08-11-2007, 02:19 PM
yeah, a couple of times. I try not to tell "war stories"

KaballoH
08-11-2007, 08:17 PM
When I was 12 me and my buddy Vic were walking home pretty close to midnight. For some reason I felt a need to stop. I put my arm to stop Vic from walking as well.. As soon as we stopped.. a car drove by and whipped a 40 bottle at the wall next to us. The bottle hit two feet in front of us. If we hadn't stopped I would be dead.

After this the car whipped around and chased us. They eventually caught up and tackled us to the floor.

We fought back, but only for a moment. They stopped once we were pinned. Turns out, they thought we were somebody else. They got in the car and drove away. I'm pretty sure an apology was in order... some people aren't that considerate I guess.

Here is something reallly funny. A couple years back I was out driving with a friend of mine. I had a 40 sitting underneath my seat. I threw it out the window aiming for a tree - but just missed hitting 2 young kids walking down the block.

Maybe it was you...