Can you cheer me up?

[reillyluck]

Im feeling extremely sad right now and need a few laughs. anyone care to help?

[sr71blackbird]

I am more handsome than my brother

[BoondockSaint]

A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sun dress, walked into a bar.

She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"

The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the end of the bar, an owly-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink!"

The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down.

She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them, revealing the same hairy armpit, and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"

Once again, the same drunk slapped his money down on the bar and said "Give the ballerina another drink!"

The bartender approached the little drunk and said, "I say, old chap, it's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her the ballerina?"

The drunk replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina!"

[Marc with a c]

http://usera.imagecave.com/oneironama/Super_MaSon/yoshi1.jpg
http://www.trinitytrot.org/Images/Chipotle+BurritoMD.jpg
http://images.jupiterimages.com/common/detail/36/41/22984136.jpg
http://www.scottpauldesigns.com/catalog/images/dildo2.jpg
http://www.canadiancontent.net/images/people/picture/Ryan-Reynolds.jpg
http://www.bakeorbreak.com/images/cornmuffins.jpg

[prothunderball]

Have you heard about Ted Danson's new sitcom?



It's called Danson With the Stars!

[DolaMight]

There's a thread duel of misery between Keith_19 and Citymedic ongoing.

Keith_19's (http://www.ronfez.net/forums/showthread.php?t=61886) is strong but Citymedic's (http://www.ronfez.net/forums/showthread.php?t=62172)is really sad too. Tough call. It's a trend it seems.

Point is, could be worse. Gvac could go missing. Oh wait. sorry.

[sr71blackbird]

I don't know if you know or not, but my wife does some work at my sister in laws house and they have chickens and rabbits. The chickens live in a caged coop. Because it is rural, there is also things like raccoons and opossums and even foxes that have attached the chickens. Raccoons tend to come the most often. One the sun starts to set, chickens will naturally return to their coop for the night. The coop is within a chain link fence that is open during the day. If you are not around early enough in the evening to close the cage, a raccoon could get into the chicken coop and start killing the chickens. It is pitch black at night because there is no lights nearby. We went out one day and returned far later than usual. I was very scared at the prospect of facing a raccoon. My wife and I are approaching the caged coop with flashlights when my wife spots movement within the cage. It is a raccoon. I cant see it because other stuff is in my way, and my wife makes her way around the other side of the cage while I was standing there with my flashlight with the light shining towards the open door. My wife startles the raccoon which suddenly bolts through the open door and it heads right for me, unaware that I am there because the light of my flashlight is blinding it because it is in my trembling hands. I scream like a girl as the fucking thing heads right at me and almost crashes into my legs before it realizes I am there and it does like a mid air back flip and races off terrified into the woods. I almost shit my pants!!!

[Marc with a c]

http://www.ronfez.net/gallery//watermark.php?file=2186&size=1

[sr71blackbird]

A huge fat woman walks into a bar with a duck under her arm.
The bartender looks up and says "Hey, where did you get the pig?".
The woman says, "It's not a pig, its a duck!"
The bartender says "I was talking to the duck."

[sr71blackbird]

http://www.themq.com/issues/105/images/frontal_lobe.jpg

[reillyluck]

i think its starting to work!! continue!!

[FUNKMAN]

pheel better phriend!


some redneck thought he won a mobil home on a ruboff card at his local bakery

the card said 'win a bagel'

[sr71blackbird]

NOTHING works better than THIS (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4Y4keqTV6w)

[Judge Smails]

Hey, things could be worse.

http://i153.photobucket.com/albums/s235/revmyspace2/graphics/other/funny/00y103.jpg

[prothunderball]

<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/YN1L3HN0cvg"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/YN1L3HN0cvg" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>

[Crispy123]

<embed src="http://www.ebaumsworld.com/mediaplayer.swf" flashvars="file=http://media.ebaumsworld.com/2007/07/huge-mouth.flv&displayheight=321&image=http://media.ebaumsworld.com/2007/07/huge-mouth.jpg" loop="false" menu="false" quality="high" bgcolor="#ffffff" width="425" height="345" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" />

[DolaMight]

In the year 2010 you will be able to download vicodin and a manufacturing breakthough will make clothes 17% more comfortable...

[PapaBear]

I almost killed a little kid with my car last night. I figure the "almost" part is something to be cheerful about. WOO HOO!!!

[FUNKMAN]

phor you phriend!

http://www.frenchky.com/images/gif/10.gif

[reillyluck]

you are all wonderful!! thank you so much!!!! Im pheeling better already!!

[sailor]

at work today, we had some blood oranges in the cafeteria. this gal asks how they taste. she thought they sounded appetizing and started to peel one.

when she saw the red color, she said "ooh, why are they that color?"

"that's why they're called blood oranges."

"wait, they don't use real blood do they?"

"yes, that's what we kitchen people do...inject cow's blood into oranges and try to trick people into eating them."

yes, this was an actual conversation i heard at work today...and the lady is 36 years old.

[Marc with a c]

at work today, we had some blood oranges in the cafeteria. this gal asks how they taste. she thought they sounded appetizing and started to peel one.

when she saw the red color, she said "ooh, why are they that color?"

"that's why they're called blood oranges."

"wait, they don't use real blood do they?"

"yes, that's what we kitchen people do...inject cow's blood into oranges and try to trick people into eating them."

yes, this was an actual conversation i heard at work today...and the lady is 36 years old.

and people think you're bland. crazy talk. you lead such an exciting life.

[tele7]

http://www.svenskadansband.se/data/media/67/xD0063-Gert-Jonnys.jpg

[sailor]

and people think you're bland. crazy talk. you lead such an exciting life.

i just appreciate silly people.

[FUNKMAN]

http://www.frenchky.com/images/gif/man_lochness_in_whirlpool_lg_nwm.gif

what the?

[Bulldogcakes]

http://internationalkennel.com/images/Bulldog.jpg

Call this Karma for the other day, sweetie. And feel better.

[Kevin]

at work today, we had some blood oranges in the cafeteria. this gal asks how they taste. she thought they sounded appetizing and started to peel one.

when she saw the red color, she said "ooh, why are they that color?"

"that's why they're called blood oranges."

"wait, they don't use real blood do they?"

"yes, that's what we kitchen people do...inject cow's blood into oranges and try to trick people into eating them."

yes, this was an actual conversation i heard at work today...and the lady is 36 years old.

Was this the same total moron that actually thought F_S was getting engaged, and sent him a congratulations PM??

[Friday]

i am not wearing any panties tonight. just phor you.

[PapaBear]

The last real bud I ever smoked...

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y229/snowmaninva66/bud4u.gif

[ChimneyFish]

Done and done.

http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c217/luxa1/IMG_8726.jpg

[Hottub]

http://www.troutsoup.com/photos/albums/sillyshit/burk3sl5gs.jpg

http://www.troutsoup.com/photos/albums/sillyshit/8_G.jpg

[IamPixie]

The last real bud I ever smoked...

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y229/snowmaninva66/bud4u.gif

the most beautiful sight I've ever laid my eyes on

[reillyluck]

the most beautiful sight I've ever laid my eyes on

notice the fine red hairs? thats quaility shit!

[reillyluck]

http://internationalkennel.com/images/Bulldog.jpg

Call this Karma for the other day, sweetie. And feel better.

since alex...i mean alec is allergic to dogs, i am calling off the wedding and getting a bulldog!!!!

[PapaBear]

notice the fine red hairs? thats quaility shit!
If you're going to stop smoking, you gotta go out on top!

[sailor]

notice the fine red hairs? thats quaility shit!

reminds me of the wrigley red playoff ivy.

http://piccies.flybywire.org.uk/General/2005/20051010/RedIvy.jpg

[IamPixie]

http://pinkurocks.typepad.com/pinku/images/2007/03/23/christianbale.jpg

[Tenbatsuzen]

http://pinkurocks.typepad.com/pinku/images/2007/03/23/christianbale.jpg

Last time Mr. Bale had two chicks at once, one of them ended up with an axe in her chest, the other was chased with a chainsaw.

[AngelAmy]

didnt you get my tainted love text, reilly? that shouldve put a smile on your face!

[reillyluck]

Last time Mr. Bale had two chicks at once, one of them ended up with an axe in her chest, the other was chased with a chainsaw.

Oddly hot?

[Tenbatsuzen]

Oh and...

http://img179.imageshack.us/img179/1464/bobbyyanks1px7.jpg

[El Mudo]

http://www.westons.com/acatalog/old12_large.jpg

[reillyluck]

didnt you get my tainted love text, reilly? that shouldve put a smile on your face!

NOOOOOO!!! my phone is off. its charging. I will have to see this tainted love you speak of.

[tele7]

Cheer up Reilly.....just because you're you

http://artfiles.art.com/images/-/Gene-Wilder---Willy-Wonka-the-Chocolate-Factory-Photograph-C10103080.jpeg

[AngelAmy]

NOOOOOO!!! my phone is off. its charging. I will have to see this tainted love you speak of.

AND i sent you the macarena the other day


ive decided to send a mass random text message every few days cause i get bored at work

[Hottub]

I don't know if this will cheer you up or not, but I've just been selected to receive a free Apple iPhone!!

WooHoo!!!

[Tenbatsuzen]

Hey Mr.Reilly? Stephanie's fiance is black.

http://img411.imageshack.us/img411/2382/s11e11budonthesideqa6.gif

[Ax Handle]

Whenever I'm feeling down I picture the most successful person I know getting their ass kicked by the biggest failure I know....have a smoke. And all is right in my world again.

[IamPixie]

Oddly hot?

just ignore him. he can't ruin our fantasy.

[ChrisTheCop]

http://i202.photobucket.com/albums/aa209/Flocat3/Icons/dancingcat.gif

[FANDICK]

I went to fart the other day and it turned out to be the squirts. Good thing I had a long t-shirt on because I was in Target and it covered the stain. I had to finish my shopping with a wet, shitty ass and had to walk out like I had saddle-soar.

When I got home I had to immediately run upstairs and of course, my girlfriend was in the bedroom as I bolted past her to the bathroom. I emerged with the long shirt and no pants on and she asked me what happened. I told her she didn't want to know. Knowing me, she said with a smile, "You shit your pants, didn't you?" I said, "Yep" She just shook her head and sighed.

Later, when she was doing the laundry, she exclaimed, "...And here's your shit stained underwear" right in front of the kids!

I told her that she stinks more than my underwear.

[IamPixie]

I went to fart the other day and it turned out to be the squirts.
also known as a "shart"

[EliSnow]

Just remember the connection that you made the other night:

http://img57.imageshack.us/img57/3333/dsc01677lg3.jpg

And if that doesn't cheer you up, that means Ron was right: women have no true feelings because their genitals are on the inside!!!

[ralphbxny]

I got some Orange Jubilee......we need to hang out smokey!!

[Earlshog]

and people think you're bland. crazy talk. you lead such an exciting life.


:lol:

[reillyluck]

Just remember the connection that you made the other night:

http://img57.imageshack.us/img57/3333/dsc01677lg3.jpg

And if that doesn't cheer you up, that means Ron was right: women have no true feelings because their genitals are on the inside!!!

Hahahahaha!!!!!!!! Thank you ELI!!!!!! That is phantastic!!!! see...i knew it was meant to be!!!

[Jughead]

http://mud.mm-a5.yimg.com/image/3159021920 Hi Sweetieee I just saved ya 10 grand that should make ya feel better!!!

[MadMatt]

http://www.all-creatures.org/ak/photo-sleepkitty.jpg
http://z.about.com/d/paranormal/1/0/K/T/cute_little_fairy.jpg
http://www.hickerphoto.com/data/media/65/cute_baby_photo_T3496.jpg
http://www.webweaver.nu/clipart/img/holidays/valentines/bunny.gif
http://graphicssoft.about.com/library/tuts/ak/arizkate01-Avalentinedancer.gif

[Dougie Brootal]

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g130/douggrasso/sasa.jpg

[nate1000]

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g130/douggrasso/sasa.jpg

miss sasa

"every body hir like animal

bucose jost you want sex and nude

crezy body"

Best. First. Post. Ever.

[A.J.]

miss sasa

Miss Zaza.

http://www.godfatherfilms.com/images/zaza_dead.jpg

[reillyluck]

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g130/douggrasso/sasa.jpg

miss sasa

"every body hir like animal

bucose jost you want sex and nude

crezy body"

Best. First. Post. Ever.


I second that!!! where the hell is he? Miss S.A.S.A.

[nate1000]

miss sasa

"every body hir like animal

bucose jost you want sex and nude

crezy body"

Best. First. Post. Ever.


I second that!!! where the hell is he? Miss S.A.S.A.

Let's not forget some of his lesser known hits like:

ooooooooooooohhhhhhhh

thank you babe for informateon

ammmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

ok

i am sorry

i am not american or any contry eorb or any thenk

i am arabic man jost

jost i come her and i see evry topic

i see more than not good topic >>>>every topic nude and sexy

okkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk"


and

"why all body not gooooooooooo

gooooooooooooo for take the milk

finaly sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep"


and who can forget:

"maby ask me simple

bucose my lingouig english .......you know"


good times. still miss sasa.

[reillyluck]

[QUOTE=reillyluck;1411599]

Let's not forget some of his lesser known hits like:

ooooooooooooohhhhhhhh

thank you babe for informateon

ammmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

ok

i am sorry

i am not american or any contry eorb or any thenk

i am arabic man jost

jost i come her and i see evry topic

i see more than not good topic >>>>every topic nude and sexy

okkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk"


and

"why all body not gooooooooooo

gooooooooooooo for take the milk

finaly sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep"


and who can forget:

"maby ask me simple

bucose my lingouig english .......you know"


good times. still miss sasa.


Timeless classics!!!

I dont care how many times i read that, its still Phunny as hell!!!

[Dougie Brootal]

[QUOTE=reillyluck;1411599]

Let's not forget some of his lesser known hits like:

ooooooooooooohhhhhhhh

thank you babe for informateon

ammmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

ok

i am sorry

i am not american or any contry eorb or any thenk

i am arabic man jost

jost i come her and i see evry topic

i see more than not good topic >>>>every topic nude and sexy

okkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk"


and

"why all body not gooooooooooo

gooooooooooooo for take the milk

finaly sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep"


and who can forget:

"maby ask me simple

bucose my lingouig english .......you know"


good times. still miss sasa.


:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: :lol::lol:
:clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::c lap::clap::clap::clap:
:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: :lol::lol:
:clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::c lap::clap::clap::clap:
:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: :lol::lol:
:clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::c lap::clap::clap::clap:
:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: :lol::lol:
:clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::c lap::clap::clap::clap:

[Judge Smails]

http://www.all-creatures.org/ak/photo-sleepkitty.jpg


INVISIBLE BLOWJOB

[IamFogHat]

This will cheer you up if you still need it!
http://i78.photobucket.com/albums/j110/IamFogHat/Batman_panel_-_Robin_what_have_I_do.jpg