mikeyboy
08-08-2007, 06:18 PM
Below is Kathleen's first installment of her blog "Dear Ron and Fez Shooow," Enjoy
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Dear Ron and Fez Shooow,
Hey, I was thinkin... I was thinking about what this one caller said today about, "having an unhealthy obsession with your show." Yeah...me too!! I was wondering if maybe most everyone who loves this program is likely to wonder at some point or another if it is indeed taking over their lives.....
Over the years I have found myself in many the uncomfortable situation realizing that I am laughing out loud.... by myself.... in public. It happens all the tiiiime....I'll be walkin down to the 7-11 cause 5 O'clock is a-comin and the ole gal needs her St. Ides....Just maybe as I'm trudging along I'll remember that time today when some woman called in to yell at Fezzie and he responded with, "I'm sorry sir!" HAH! She was a chick and you knew it... and it killed me I tells ya!!!
I made a mental note to remember to address the next telemarketer as, "Sir Ma'am," the next time I receive an annoying call about them, "turning my off my cable," or something..... Oh...they aren't telemarketers! Right... right...they're bill collectors... same diff... Whatever...you know what I mean....Also, I may have invented, "Sir Ma'am," but all a yez...seriously...feel free to utilize..... Anyway, when I catch me laughing to myself I then ponder that it must seem like I'm an escaped mental patient, blithering to myself there, to the people driving by on road ... How they must pity, "oooh that poooor soul....." .... and yeah.... that unintentional crazy act is always due to remembering one line or another....or some conversation that I'm thinking back on.
I wonder if people find me crazy during such moments... but then say somethin bitches! I dare you... If you catch me out on my back deck today laughing to myself.... maybe you'll wanna throw some kinda hairy eyeball up my way....Yeah, I'm talkin to you, lady who's walking very small breed dogs! You might find yaself on the business end of a, "Fuck YOU Fuckball!" just cause I heard that on the show today and it made me laugh like crazy... I'll steal your lines Ronnie B! I told you...... "USEFUL!" .....or maybe I shouldn't yell that.... especially after all that mending fences talk today.... Yeah! I should forgive her for thinking I am a madwoman an' shit......Who couldn't use more friends, right??
It's like East Side Dave said, "Friends are like sausage links!" Yeah they are! I eventually cut my friends off and grill them over hot coals..... You are right!!! I've thought this before and I'm pretty sure that it's true.....Some of that ESD's ideas are so crazy.....they are ideas so crazy they are the stuff on which religions' laws are based! Most of his religious laws would be of the, "thou shalt not call that a sandwich," variety.....but along with parables like, "friends are like sausage links," and ideas about cloud cities....I'm tellin ya.... Write that stuff down and bury it in the desert!!! In many, many years someone will dig it up and find it as pure revelation.... and base a religion offa it....... Oooooh you learn things.....Where was I goin wit this??? Oh yeah.... So I'm obsessed too.... but I'm not sure if it's unhealthy. Ya see, if not for The Ron and Fez Show I might be prone to keeping varied musings to myself... and we all know that keeping shit to yourself is not good for you! Share!
I now feel perfectly free to share this.... since the show M.A.S.H came up for a split second today..... For that reason alone I feel the need for all to know that the mere mention of, "M.A.S.H," makes me think of plaid sofas and butter rum lifesavers and visiting elderly relatives. All them elderly relatives sure love M.A.S.H!! M.A.S.H. also always gives me the distinct feeling that either football is over or that we are in between games....That means, kinda drunk, and a little sad... Look, I realize it was a funny show, but I'm just tellin you the facts..... With all my confessions being blurted out here, I guess you should know that the seeing the beginning of M.A.S.H. on T.V. doesn't necessarily make me feel like happy fun times are around the corner.... Hey, didn't someone bring up Mama's Family, too? I HAAAAAATE Mama's Family.... You think a certain Vicki Lawrence might mind her p's and q's after whaaaaatever that shit was about...thinking she should sing, "The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia?!?!"
If not for The Ron and Fez Show I might not spend as much time planning what I'd do if the time machine was created, but I can tell you this much....... Though going back in time to smack Vicki Lawrence in the face while screaming, "DON'T SING!" isn't like the top of my list of, "What I Would Do if Time Machines Were Invented;" it seriously might be liiiiiike probably number seven....Anyway... I dug ole syndicated sitcoms talk....
Yeah, so I'm obsessed alright.... I'm so into this show that I too would go to Ronnie's one book signing... AND I wouldn't be surprised at all to find myself camped out all Grateful Dead tickets style in sleeping bags in a parking lot, either....! I would see the movie too.... It would be a, "Close up of Ronnie B. reading the book," I believe he said...... Hell yeah, who among us wouldn't show up for that!!?? He said, "The NEXT Kerouac??!!?? I didn't see him comin up with 3,000 interesting lines!" Ya right about that too....and I'd buy the workbook.....
Ohhh man, I am just goin on and onnnnn here.... better end this soon......but this I guess is the point: I feel the obsession too that a caller spoke of...... I don't want to miss even a minute ever..... I don't want to miss a moment... That includes the times that they are doin the show from a broom closet while Earl is conducting, "the Pink Floyd light show...."
As long as I get to hear my peoples I'm feeling mad healthy :) Hey, some other time don't let me forget to remind you about the time that I learned that a bag of oranges can be used as a weapon!!!! I told ya... You LEARN things!! That's healthy too....
Signed,
kathleen from the bronx :):):)
--
Dear Ron and Fez Shooow,
Hey, I was thinkin... I was thinking about what this one caller said today about, "having an unhealthy obsession with your show." Yeah...me too!! I was wondering if maybe most everyone who loves this program is likely to wonder at some point or another if it is indeed taking over their lives.....
Over the years I have found myself in many the uncomfortable situation realizing that I am laughing out loud.... by myself.... in public. It happens all the tiiiime....I'll be walkin down to the 7-11 cause 5 O'clock is a-comin and the ole gal needs her St. Ides....Just maybe as I'm trudging along I'll remember that time today when some woman called in to yell at Fezzie and he responded with, "I'm sorry sir!" HAH! She was a chick and you knew it... and it killed me I tells ya!!!
I made a mental note to remember to address the next telemarketer as, "Sir Ma'am," the next time I receive an annoying call about them, "turning my off my cable," or something..... Oh...they aren't telemarketers! Right... right...they're bill collectors... same diff... Whatever...you know what I mean....Also, I may have invented, "Sir Ma'am," but all a yez...seriously...feel free to utilize..... Anyway, when I catch me laughing to myself I then ponder that it must seem like I'm an escaped mental patient, blithering to myself there, to the people driving by on road ... How they must pity, "oooh that poooor soul....." .... and yeah.... that unintentional crazy act is always due to remembering one line or another....or some conversation that I'm thinking back on.
I wonder if people find me crazy during such moments... but then say somethin bitches! I dare you... If you catch me out on my back deck today laughing to myself.... maybe you'll wanna throw some kinda hairy eyeball up my way....Yeah, I'm talkin to you, lady who's walking very small breed dogs! You might find yaself on the business end of a, "Fuck YOU Fuckball!" just cause I heard that on the show today and it made me laugh like crazy... I'll steal your lines Ronnie B! I told you...... "USEFUL!" .....or maybe I shouldn't yell that.... especially after all that mending fences talk today.... Yeah! I should forgive her for thinking I am a madwoman an' shit......Who couldn't use more friends, right??
It's like East Side Dave said, "Friends are like sausage links!" Yeah they are! I eventually cut my friends off and grill them over hot coals..... You are right!!! I've thought this before and I'm pretty sure that it's true.....Some of that ESD's ideas are so crazy.....they are ideas so crazy they are the stuff on which religions' laws are based! Most of his religious laws would be of the, "thou shalt not call that a sandwich," variety.....but along with parables like, "friends are like sausage links," and ideas about cloud cities....I'm tellin ya.... Write that stuff down and bury it in the desert!!! In many, many years someone will dig it up and find it as pure revelation.... and base a religion offa it....... Oooooh you learn things.....Where was I goin wit this??? Oh yeah.... So I'm obsessed too.... but I'm not sure if it's unhealthy. Ya see, if not for The Ron and Fez Show I might be prone to keeping varied musings to myself... and we all know that keeping shit to yourself is not good for you! Share!
I now feel perfectly free to share this.... since the show M.A.S.H came up for a split second today..... For that reason alone I feel the need for all to know that the mere mention of, "M.A.S.H," makes me think of plaid sofas and butter rum lifesavers and visiting elderly relatives. All them elderly relatives sure love M.A.S.H!! M.A.S.H. also always gives me the distinct feeling that either football is over or that we are in between games....That means, kinda drunk, and a little sad... Look, I realize it was a funny show, but I'm just tellin you the facts..... With all my confessions being blurted out here, I guess you should know that the seeing the beginning of M.A.S.H. on T.V. doesn't necessarily make me feel like happy fun times are around the corner.... Hey, didn't someone bring up Mama's Family, too? I HAAAAAATE Mama's Family.... You think a certain Vicki Lawrence might mind her p's and q's after whaaaaatever that shit was about...thinking she should sing, "The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia?!?!"
If not for The Ron and Fez Show I might not spend as much time planning what I'd do if the time machine was created, but I can tell you this much....... Though going back in time to smack Vicki Lawrence in the face while screaming, "DON'T SING!" isn't like the top of my list of, "What I Would Do if Time Machines Were Invented;" it seriously might be liiiiiike probably number seven....Anyway... I dug ole syndicated sitcoms talk....
Yeah, so I'm obsessed alright.... I'm so into this show that I too would go to Ronnie's one book signing... AND I wouldn't be surprised at all to find myself camped out all Grateful Dead tickets style in sleeping bags in a parking lot, either....! I would see the movie too.... It would be a, "Close up of Ronnie B. reading the book," I believe he said...... Hell yeah, who among us wouldn't show up for that!!?? He said, "The NEXT Kerouac??!!?? I didn't see him comin up with 3,000 interesting lines!" Ya right about that too....and I'd buy the workbook.....
Ohhh man, I am just goin on and onnnnn here.... better end this soon......but this I guess is the point: I feel the obsession too that a caller spoke of...... I don't want to miss even a minute ever..... I don't want to miss a moment... That includes the times that they are doin the show from a broom closet while Earl is conducting, "the Pink Floyd light show...."
As long as I get to hear my peoples I'm feeling mad healthy :) Hey, some other time don't let me forget to remind you about the time that I learned that a bag of oranges can be used as a weapon!!!! I told ya... You LEARN things!! That's healthy too....
Signed,
kathleen from the bronx :):):)