Kathleen From The Bronx
08-10-2007, 06:02 PM
Dear Ron and Fez Shooow,
Hey! I was watching that Big Brother After Dark last night tooo!!! I completely agree that it may just have been the, "lowest moment in television history," like Ronnie said...HAH.... It was UGLEEEE... and yet..... I found it simply delicious! I hadda laugh when Ron said that he now understands why people dig arguments on the air...... and how watching it gives you a, "God-like feeling." For real....Well... I had a God-like feeling, as all that and Big Brother 8 talk got me thinkin....
Fezzie brought up a study outta Chicaaaaaago today in which it claimed that there were only 24 homeless people left in the entire city..... When Ron said, "If that's true let's start n read off their names," it tickled my brain..... "Funny!"I thought, and then, "24 people?!? That's the makings of some reality show...."
If there are truly only 24 homeless people left, I'm sure that some television network could concoct a sceme to put them all in a house together somewhere in Chicago .....and then there'd be NO homeless people left on their fair streets...... and then let the reality ensue!!
I imagine one occurrence that might arise quite frequently in Homeless House is that we'd be forced to hear warnings go out over the loud speaker in the house like, "House guests.....Stop singing My Kind of Town!" and we'd be privy to conversations about that deep dish supposed pizza of theirs being so great.... Hey! Remember that time a whiles back when Ronnie said, "that bundt cake they call pizza !?" Hah.... yeah... me too.... They wouldn't fight about that pizza subject though, as they are all from Chicago and probably like it.... Uhh... oh yeah.. but so I do imagine that there might be a squabble or two...... there always are.....in reality shows..... In the Big Brother house they are only able to use plastic knives so that they don't stab each other. I think this might be a good plan for Homeless Habitat, as well.... Yeah... I forgot to tell you, that might be a good name for the show....Homeless House was really a dumb name... lazy really..... but, "Homeless Habitat!" That has a ring to it, huh??! Let me know what you think! Sometimes I'm too much wit the alliteration... Ohhh maybe this is too much Big Brother spying babble.... Yet...this may be the best idea or the worst idea that I've ever had! Ahhh, these idears of mine are such a crap shoot!
Wait... seriously... uh oh....bad vibes! What would the prize even be...????? Ohh no..... Will only one homeless person be able to win money or a house of their own? ....... Then those other 23 gotta go back out and live on the streets of that windy city??? Man, no homeless activist group worth its salt is gonna agree to the premise of this show! Daaaahh! I have just made a mental note to myself that I should really think these things out before I go rambling on to you about em..... Heh.. Sorry!
When you guys were talking about the homeless issue, Ronnie said this other thing...about how when you see a mentally disturbed homeless person on the street talking to themselves, it's as rare as never that are laughing at a joke.... Yeah! Good point! In my experience there definitely generally seems to be instances more of the, "BACK OFF!!!!" and, "No!!! YOU shut up!!!" to no one in particular variety....Also in my experience.... as it's all about meeeee....... I know that I've mentioned before that I am preeeety sure that random passerbys have thought me a bit peculiar as I often laugh out loud...to myself....in public about stuff that I'm mentally rehashing from the show...... but now here's this:
See, sometimes bugs attack me..... and by attack, I mean fly near me even slightly..... and I freak out and yell homeless shit to what must seem like imaginary or invisible people like, "Stay the fuck away from me!!!" while flailing wildly........... I'm not gonna lie to yez, I may make things more confusing to strangers and onlookers by opting for this, "gypsy look," as an outfit.... but it got me thinking.... I wonder how many people that we think are homeless and insane, are really just yelling at bugs....... I know right!??! It also got me thinking that I can absolutely relate to the distressing events that went down in that piece that you've been playing this week....I meant to tell you that I dug this days ago....I believe is called, "Wasp Vs. Girl!" I appreciate that wasp vacuum trapping technique! From now on, when I leave my house, entering into the world of horrifying insects, dressed like a gypsy, I will carry a Dirt Devil with me down the street! Then no one will think that I'm homeless!!! OR CRAZY!! Right??? Right....?
Well anyway, many circumstances can be construed in a very different light if you take away context....... Just like everyone else I so lovelove a Ronnie B impression... and Ron's impression of Earl's moms today was no different!!! I laughed so hard when in that voice he yelled, "Come 'ere baby! Come here and take this snowball from your Mama! How old are you now...? 38!??? You're NEVER too old for a snowball from your mama!!!"
I was thinkin that with the right heartfelt music in the background, and with the right and appropriate Courier and Ives type landscape in the background, such a line might be just perfect for a charming film about a mother and son who reconnect at Christmas time, over an impromptu snowball fight............. OR........ without all that..... it could be taken just as it was meant, depicting an utterly appalling and gagworthy... HILARIOUS situation! Ahhh yes.....
Annnnnyway Ron and Fez Show, as I sit here typing feverishly at my typewriter beneath the shelter of a mosquito net in the swealtering jungle heat, my mind is never far from thoughts of the radio war.... As many others I thought that it was over.....As Fezzie lamented, "I thought we wrapped this up at the V.I.P Club with my ass in a g-string!!!" I shrieked back at my radio," So did I Tiffany, sister.... SO DID I!!!" Yes... I yell back at the radio......My tent-mates must attribute this to the jungle madness that grips a malaria riddled body....... I may not understand your war, General Whatley, but I do support our troops!! At the same time I feel what Ronnie said about, "Not on my show!!! I want to sleep at night..." Yes... it is difficult to sleep restfully, if at all, when one relives the radio war atrocities we have seen..... or heard... radio... HEARD... yeah.... Oh wait, has it all been documented for clips on YouTube?
Ron and Fez Show, I was wondering..... Do Anti-Radio War protesters exist??? Protesters who will stick flowers into industrial strenght staple guns, and who will dive in front of doggie bowls filled with viscous milky substances chanting, "MY GOD MAN! Have we learned NOTHING from that poor Scottish Rod Stewart!!?? STOMACH PUUUUUUUMPED!!!!!!" Like Opie who called in today, I worry too that, "this radio war is gonna end in some basement somewhere..." I'm too shaken to go on........ I worry that this may be the case... It all reminds me of this quote from a little film I like to call, "Platoon:"
"I think now, looking back, we did not fight the enemy, we fought ourselves. The enemy was in us. The war is over for me now, but it will always be there, the rest of my days." Yes......... Indeed......The tales will live on........ and besides that, our Ron and Fez infirmaries are dangerously stocked full as it is (GET WELL EVERYBODY!!!!!)!!!
Hey Ron and Fez Show, thanks for all the funniness all week..... Superextra very excited to hear more of yez this weekend! So excited about The Ron and Fez Rock Show tomorrow night from 9-12!!!!! I didn't make any requests this time... but... if I know you guys, you know what I likes!!!! AND....tomorrow as the greatness starts, I will have envisioned Fezzie marching all the way there in his hoodie to the tune of Eminem....... Diggin the show so much, as always.... Signed,
kathleen from the bronx :):):)
Hey! I was watching that Big Brother After Dark last night tooo!!! I completely agree that it may just have been the, "lowest moment in television history," like Ronnie said...HAH.... It was UGLEEEE... and yet..... I found it simply delicious! I hadda laugh when Ron said that he now understands why people dig arguments on the air...... and how watching it gives you a, "God-like feeling." For real....Well... I had a God-like feeling, as all that and Big Brother 8 talk got me thinkin....
Fezzie brought up a study outta Chicaaaaaago today in which it claimed that there were only 24 homeless people left in the entire city..... When Ron said, "If that's true let's start n read off their names," it tickled my brain..... "Funny!"I thought, and then, "24 people?!? That's the makings of some reality show...."
If there are truly only 24 homeless people left, I'm sure that some television network could concoct a sceme to put them all in a house together somewhere in Chicago .....and then there'd be NO homeless people left on their fair streets...... and then let the reality ensue!!
I imagine one occurrence that might arise quite frequently in Homeless House is that we'd be forced to hear warnings go out over the loud speaker in the house like, "House guests.....Stop singing My Kind of Town!" and we'd be privy to conversations about that deep dish supposed pizza of theirs being so great.... Hey! Remember that time a whiles back when Ronnie said, "that bundt cake they call pizza !?" Hah.... yeah... me too.... They wouldn't fight about that pizza subject though, as they are all from Chicago and probably like it.... Uhh... oh yeah.. but so I do imagine that there might be a squabble or two...... there always are.....in reality shows..... In the Big Brother house they are only able to use plastic knives so that they don't stab each other. I think this might be a good plan for Homeless Habitat, as well.... Yeah... I forgot to tell you, that might be a good name for the show....Homeless House was really a dumb name... lazy really..... but, "Homeless Habitat!" That has a ring to it, huh??! Let me know what you think! Sometimes I'm too much wit the alliteration... Ohhh maybe this is too much Big Brother spying babble.... Yet...this may be the best idea or the worst idea that I've ever had! Ahhh, these idears of mine are such a crap shoot!
Wait... seriously... uh oh....bad vibes! What would the prize even be...????? Ohh no..... Will only one homeless person be able to win money or a house of their own? ....... Then those other 23 gotta go back out and live on the streets of that windy city??? Man, no homeless activist group worth its salt is gonna agree to the premise of this show! Daaaahh! I have just made a mental note to myself that I should really think these things out before I go rambling on to you about em..... Heh.. Sorry!
When you guys were talking about the homeless issue, Ronnie said this other thing...about how when you see a mentally disturbed homeless person on the street talking to themselves, it's as rare as never that are laughing at a joke.... Yeah! Good point! In my experience there definitely generally seems to be instances more of the, "BACK OFF!!!!" and, "No!!! YOU shut up!!!" to no one in particular variety....Also in my experience.... as it's all about meeeee....... I know that I've mentioned before that I am preeeety sure that random passerbys have thought me a bit peculiar as I often laugh out loud...to myself....in public about stuff that I'm mentally rehashing from the show...... but now here's this:
See, sometimes bugs attack me..... and by attack, I mean fly near me even slightly..... and I freak out and yell homeless shit to what must seem like imaginary or invisible people like, "Stay the fuck away from me!!!" while flailing wildly........... I'm not gonna lie to yez, I may make things more confusing to strangers and onlookers by opting for this, "gypsy look," as an outfit.... but it got me thinking.... I wonder how many people that we think are homeless and insane, are really just yelling at bugs....... I know right!??! It also got me thinking that I can absolutely relate to the distressing events that went down in that piece that you've been playing this week....I meant to tell you that I dug this days ago....I believe is called, "Wasp Vs. Girl!" I appreciate that wasp vacuum trapping technique! From now on, when I leave my house, entering into the world of horrifying insects, dressed like a gypsy, I will carry a Dirt Devil with me down the street! Then no one will think that I'm homeless!!! OR CRAZY!! Right??? Right....?
Well anyway, many circumstances can be construed in a very different light if you take away context....... Just like everyone else I so lovelove a Ronnie B impression... and Ron's impression of Earl's moms today was no different!!! I laughed so hard when in that voice he yelled, "Come 'ere baby! Come here and take this snowball from your Mama! How old are you now...? 38!??? You're NEVER too old for a snowball from your mama!!!"
I was thinkin that with the right heartfelt music in the background, and with the right and appropriate Courier and Ives type landscape in the background, such a line might be just perfect for a charming film about a mother and son who reconnect at Christmas time, over an impromptu snowball fight............. OR........ without all that..... it could be taken just as it was meant, depicting an utterly appalling and gagworthy... HILARIOUS situation! Ahhh yes.....
Annnnnyway Ron and Fez Show, as I sit here typing feverishly at my typewriter beneath the shelter of a mosquito net in the swealtering jungle heat, my mind is never far from thoughts of the radio war.... As many others I thought that it was over.....As Fezzie lamented, "I thought we wrapped this up at the V.I.P Club with my ass in a g-string!!!" I shrieked back at my radio," So did I Tiffany, sister.... SO DID I!!!" Yes... I yell back at the radio......My tent-mates must attribute this to the jungle madness that grips a malaria riddled body....... I may not understand your war, General Whatley, but I do support our troops!! At the same time I feel what Ronnie said about, "Not on my show!!! I want to sleep at night..." Yes... it is difficult to sleep restfully, if at all, when one relives the radio war atrocities we have seen..... or heard... radio... HEARD... yeah.... Oh wait, has it all been documented for clips on YouTube?
Ron and Fez Show, I was wondering..... Do Anti-Radio War protesters exist??? Protesters who will stick flowers into industrial strenght staple guns, and who will dive in front of doggie bowls filled with viscous milky substances chanting, "MY GOD MAN! Have we learned NOTHING from that poor Scottish Rod Stewart!!?? STOMACH PUUUUUUUMPED!!!!!!" Like Opie who called in today, I worry too that, "this radio war is gonna end in some basement somewhere..." I'm too shaken to go on........ I worry that this may be the case... It all reminds me of this quote from a little film I like to call, "Platoon:"
"I think now, looking back, we did not fight the enemy, we fought ourselves. The enemy was in us. The war is over for me now, but it will always be there, the rest of my days." Yes......... Indeed......The tales will live on........ and besides that, our Ron and Fez infirmaries are dangerously stocked full as it is (GET WELL EVERYBODY!!!!!)!!!
Hey Ron and Fez Show, thanks for all the funniness all week..... Superextra very excited to hear more of yez this weekend! So excited about The Ron and Fez Rock Show tomorrow night from 9-12!!!!! I didn't make any requests this time... but... if I know you guys, you know what I likes!!!! AND....tomorrow as the greatness starts, I will have envisioned Fezzie marching all the way there in his hoodie to the tune of Eminem....... Diggin the show so much, as always.... Signed,
kathleen from the bronx :):):)