Missed Chance, Should I Attempt Again?

[ShelleBink]

Several months ago, I met an interesting guy. It happened by accident, and we became friends, as I was in an okay-but-way-too-long-distance and "open" relationship. This guy and I became friends, and the more I got to know him, the more I really liked him. But, being as faithful as I could be, things stayed platonic, with the most that happened between us being a drunken kiss. Eventually I worried temptation would get the best of me, and I focused my attention back on the relationship I was in, and lost touch with the guy.

Recently, my relationship went to crap for several reasons, none having to do with the situation between myself and the "other guy" ((mind you, when the drunken kiss happened, I did tell the guy I was seeing at the time, because I'm honest and it really wasn't that big of a deal)). I found myself missing the friendship I had with the guy, and started talking to him again, but nothing like we did when we were initially good friends. I miss the silly flirting and long conversations with this guy, because he's really smart, funny, and just all around a decent person. If something more happens, so be it, but that's not really the reason I'm interested in him. He's someone I enjoy having in my life.

But, since we started talking again, there have been okay conversations, but there seems to be a hesitation on his end. I guess I'm caught up in trying to convince him to try and have a friendly relationship again, or just cutting him out of my life for good. So, any suggestions?

[IamPixie]

I would say try and talk to him on or two more times. If he's still being distant I would say forget it . If you think you guys have a connection I say it would be worth a shot.

[weekapaugjz]

i am going through pretty much this same thing with a chick. hung out with her for a few months and made out a few times, nothing serious. i finally had to tell her i liked her and she said she didn't want to be in a relationship but still wanted to be my friend. i went about three weeks without talking to her, but then finally started talking to her now about once or twice a week. the first couple times we hung out it was kinda awkward b/c i still had feelings for her, but i think i am past that now and can try to focus on it being a friendship.

my advice: be honest with the guy about how you feel about him. if you just want to be friends let him now. stringing him along if he has those feelings can lead to a much more awkward situation. if he can't deal with just being friends, which i was something i resented for a few weeks, end the friendship. be very upfront about how you feel and let him make a decision about how he wants you to be part of his life.

[FUNKMAN]

don't chase, just be your friendly self and let him come to you... i would say he knows you have an interest in him by what has transpired already

[Chainsaw]

nothing says "I like you" as effectively or as quickly as a blow job...
(crickets)....

seriously though...just be honest and you'll find your way...

[ShelleBink]

nothing says "I like you" as effectively or as quickly as a blow job...
(crickets)....

seriously though...just be honest and you'll find your way...

Hahaha, no joke, this week after just casually txting stuff back and forth, I somehow got stupid and wrote "I like you and I miss getting to know you"

No statement has ever made me want to throw up in my mouth.

[Hottub]

Hahaha, no joke, this week after just casually txting stuff back and forth, I somehow got stupid and wrote "I like you and I miss getting to know you"No statement has ever made me want to throw up in my mouth.


I think you may have your answer,

[ShelleBink]

Eh, I know I don't want to admit to myself what I feel so I can avoid getting hurt.

[Doogie]

Very simply...you have to go with what makes you happy in this life and not contemplate the what ifs. If the person makes you happy and there is a shot at it. Go for it. But dont wonder if you should have of said something or not, just go for it. And make yourself happy. That is the most important thing.

[citymedic27]

Hahaha, no joke, this week after just casually txting stuff back and forth, I somehow got stupid and wrote "I like you and I miss getting to know you"

No statement has ever made me want to throw up in my mouth.

I think that I just did after reading it...

it looks like you know what you want to do, Go for it, you only live once. think about it this way. Whats the worsest thing to happen? end up single for a while? thats not a big thing.

[Kris10]

And if it turns out he's not interested, there is someone better out there anyway.

[ShelleBink]

And if it turns out he's not interested, there is someone better out there anyway.

Nah, I'm convinced more each day that the guy out there for me was hit by a truck.

[Furtherman]

Not for nothing, but if he knew you had a guy when you had your "drunken kiss" :dry:

What makes you think he'd be able to trust you with a relationship?

[Jujubees2]

Nah, I'm convinced more each day that the guy out there for me was hit by a truck.

Yes, I was hit by a truck but I survived (okay so it was a van). Face it. It was meant to be.... :smile:

[ShelleBink]

Not for nothing, but if he knew you had a guy when you had your "drunken kiss" :dry:

What makes you think he'd be able to trust you with a relationship?

This is a legit question. I'm aware of some past indiscretions that he has had that have been less than moral, but people make mistakes and can change. We'll see.

[reillyluck]

shelle...Go for it. seriously.

[topless_mike]

pursue pursue pursue
whats the worst he can say? no ?

if he says yes, booyakasha
if he says no, brush it off and move on.

emotions=overated.

how does that saying go?
its better to have loved and fucked than not to have fucked at all?

[Bulldogcakes]

I wouldn't. Its pretty obvious when someone you had a romantic interest in suddenly starts calling you again, and from the guys point of view its like "WTF? That ship has sailed already". Especially if she rebuffed your advances for whatever reason. You really have to strike while the iron is hot, if you go back to the well . . . . holy shit how many lame fucking cliches can I fit into one sentence?

I'd say no. Try if you must, but don't expect much. If he's thrilled to hear from you then great, but I wouldn't force things. You'll just wind up feeling like an ass. I know it sounds romantic to rekindle an old flame, but its pretty rare.

[Bulldogcakes]

Nah, I'm convinced more each day that the guy out there for me was hit by a truck.

"The guy"? Like there's only one in the whole world? Come on Shel, I bet you could be happy with a whole bunch of different types of guys, some who are probably on this board. I think the "the guy" stuff puts too much pressure and expectations on both people involved. Plus most guys I know aren't into the whole knight in shining armor bit, they just want someone to hang with.