Kathleen From The Bronx
08-14-2007, 05:16 PM
Dear Ron and Fez Shooow,
I was thinking about what you guys were talking about today... Are we so desensitized as a sociiiiietyyy, that we are unable to be shocked? Well pals, I'm not tryin to come off as some kinda naive fool... but I find myself shocked almost daily! Nah, I'm not talking about my stint here in the asylum.. this time.... I'm sayin, maybe I have been being over protective of myself over the years; I'm still like one of twelve people in the world who has not seen, "Faces of Death," yet.... I just don't want some stuff in my head... So I guess shielding myself from the harsh realities leaves me open to be a little horrified unexpectedly now n then......
For instance, Ronnie- you brought up receiving crazy emails at times.... Oh man...I can relate! It's like this, "friend," of mine kept forwarding me these hideous and troubling pictures for over two months straight.... I was disgusted, aghast reallly! I finally had to confront her I about it...via email...I type yelled:
"For the love of God!! What is with you and these despicable pictures!!!???? You are a disgrace!! Is this all some kind of sick joke!!??! You send me shit like this, I can't sleep at night....You send me anything like this again, your ass is grass!!!!!!!"
Well you can imagine my embarrassment when she replied to my message, informing me that those emails contained photos of her new baby.... Talk about shocked! You call THAT, a human head?
Anyway, you guys had lotsa interesting conversations today.... One that struck me particularly funny was when you briefly spoke about sex-ed stages of ignorance.... "He's WHAT!?? He's pissing in her??" That was adorable.... but... yo, if ya wanna keep talking about shocks for one more quick second- I'll tell ya...... I can still vividly remember being seven and my friend Monica from upstairs who was in 4th grade telling me what was up....
On the second floor landing in the stairwell of my old building she told me, "The boy puts it in you and he leaves an egg, and it sticks to your rib," she told me as she pointed at her rib...." and then it turns into a baby.....Preggers." In my head I was like, "Whhaaaat.... you gotta be kidding me!!!??? I've seen those things, how could an egg get out of that???! Who would put up with this!??!!?" but of course I took it like, "Yes, of course." For sometime afterward I would see adults and think, "What are you sick people up to?" Ahhh kids.... Oh yeah kids- that reminds me!
I just recalled that story Ron was tellin today about seeing a woman on the street who was getting punched in the back by her five year old son, hard as he could. She was all pleading with the kid and just trying to get him to stop with the tantrum... but this kid kept screaming "I hate you!!" at her repeatedly... Ron goes, "I really wanted to walk up to this lady and say, 'Please Ma'am, just give me a reason and I'll kick this kid to death.'" I bet that little boy would be pretty shocked if his moms responded to Ron, "Alright pal... whatever... go right ahead!" all defeated, while hurling the kid over Ron's direction by his skinny little arm.... That would be a lesson that twerp would never forget...if through some miracle he survived.
I guess I was also shocked today by Dave's announcement of a big teddy bear funeral celebration thing.......but... Ron and Fez show, you know me; I am but a simple woman... I have only attended Irish wakes and biker gang send offs for fallen riders.... So, I wish not to judge that insanity about animal costumes around a coffin and stuff... In fact, other cultures' funeral rituals are pretty interesting to me......
I kinda dig the imagery of the burning funeral pyre floating down the Ganges Riverin India.... or a Viking burial where a ship is pushed out to sea, flames climbing its mast and sail as it transports the heroic body into the setting sun... Hmm... wait, maybe I just like to see floating fire... Hey will ya look at that! ...I dunno... As much as these things interest me, I've never had much care for what becomes of me once I kick the bucket.... I'm dead, ya know? After listening to today's show, however, I have begun to give it more thought...
Today we heard the phrase, "It's what she would have wanted..." time and time again....You go to funerals you hear that statement and it makes me wonder just how many souls are peeking down from heaven at their own funeral thinking, "What the hey? You went with purple!??" and, "All these years I've been screaming at you Phil, 'Ya don't know the first thing about me!' and it turns out to be true!" Stuff like that.... Yeah I still somehow think that annoyance exists in Heaven... Ummm... but anyway..
It got me thinkin about funerals..... and I believe that starting today, I am about to embark on the compiling of a long and detailed list of demands for my funeral in a will. With all this talk of, "it would have been just as she wanted it," I want to be sure that my intentions would REALLY be carried out according to my specifications...
Every stipulation will relay a ceremony that would be exactly the opposite of anything I would ever want to be linked to in life... Just to befuddle people! I will probably have to secretly hire some lawyer to handle this for me so that it is a surprise to one and all of my loved ones who are still kickin at that point.. So I'm trusting you not to leak this info, Ron and Fez Show! (shakes fist menacingly)....
So, upon death I was thinking about goin for a real 1980's high powered executive look... Think, Melanie Griffith in, "Working Girl,"....BEFORE the makeover...... In a sassy hairdo and a smart 80's shoulder padded suit I will lie there in me casket! What else, what esle...??? Oh man! I should probably just have the soundtrack to that very film playing softly during the viewing too..... Yeah.... It'll be all Carly Simon and Chris De Burgh songs at first! For the record I was not really aware of what was on the soundtrack....but after investigating just now... I am sure that is exactly nothing I would have enjoyed in life.... so take it in my death, weirdos!
I may have to hire an actor to give my touching eulogy, (everyone's like, "WHO is THIS guy!?? He just said he was he best friend!") about how all I ever wanted in life was, "to make it in the cut-throat world of high finance, and how, 'she made it baby!'" It is now my fondest wish that all attendees will have to file out of the funeral home singing together, "Hotel California," ....while uncomfortably whispering among themselves, "Is this really what she would have wanted???" I know that song's not on the soundtrack, but it'll work! Believe meeee....
This may be one of my best and pointless long term plans yet! Shit, I may not even be able to see it from wherever I'm at......but.... I'm gonna take a chance and chalk it up to one of them, "spice o' life," experiences that I will be able to leave for people to wonder about.... and remember me by..... I'm sure I will be able to add more details as the years drag on.... (knock on wood).
Well Ron and Fez Show.... It was fun typing this to yez as I happily was able to hear more of ya on that hostile take over... "that wasn't so hostile!" on KROCK today! You guys sounded so great! I was happy to hear about yez buring down huts and everything else...and looting the station of their office supplies and tickets.... AND THEN a bonus visit from The Natchaaaa Boy....That was beast.... Yeah me ole ears perked up every time yez came back from a music break...... Love extra Ron and Fez!!! Dug hearing news stuffs like the word about Jack White's newborn baby.... Ron was like, "Aww I bet he's the whitest baby in the world!" Fezzie thought that this kid was so white he was invisible.....Ron said they called him, "Aquarium." Man, these rock stars and the crazy names they call their kids, right?!? Oh...........Ooh. That reminds me... I wonder how many people quickly went to google the name, "Wolfie Van Halen, " today. I certainly had to....
Wolfie's an adorable lil feller and everything, but I guess that statement today by Opie that Ron looks like him... or could be his pops, launched the radio war back into high gear again... I wonder if we will all look back on this day as the one we all heard, "The quip heard round the world." I ask you all to take a moment to pray for radio peace.... and by all means forget you ever heard that number that's posted on many message boards, right there for the taking!! Man, that whole thing had me cackling....um...cackling with concern, of course! You guys are the best :0) Peace out!
Signed,
kathleen from the bronx :):):)
I was thinking about what you guys were talking about today... Are we so desensitized as a sociiiiietyyy, that we are unable to be shocked? Well pals, I'm not tryin to come off as some kinda naive fool... but I find myself shocked almost daily! Nah, I'm not talking about my stint here in the asylum.. this time.... I'm sayin, maybe I have been being over protective of myself over the years; I'm still like one of twelve people in the world who has not seen, "Faces of Death," yet.... I just don't want some stuff in my head... So I guess shielding myself from the harsh realities leaves me open to be a little horrified unexpectedly now n then......
For instance, Ronnie- you brought up receiving crazy emails at times.... Oh man...I can relate! It's like this, "friend," of mine kept forwarding me these hideous and troubling pictures for over two months straight.... I was disgusted, aghast reallly! I finally had to confront her I about it...via email...I type yelled:
"For the love of God!! What is with you and these despicable pictures!!!???? You are a disgrace!! Is this all some kind of sick joke!!??! You send me shit like this, I can't sleep at night....You send me anything like this again, your ass is grass!!!!!!!"
Well you can imagine my embarrassment when she replied to my message, informing me that those emails contained photos of her new baby.... Talk about shocked! You call THAT, a human head?
Anyway, you guys had lotsa interesting conversations today.... One that struck me particularly funny was when you briefly spoke about sex-ed stages of ignorance.... "He's WHAT!?? He's pissing in her??" That was adorable.... but... yo, if ya wanna keep talking about shocks for one more quick second- I'll tell ya...... I can still vividly remember being seven and my friend Monica from upstairs who was in 4th grade telling me what was up....
On the second floor landing in the stairwell of my old building she told me, "The boy puts it in you and he leaves an egg, and it sticks to your rib," she told me as she pointed at her rib...." and then it turns into a baby.....Preggers." In my head I was like, "Whhaaaat.... you gotta be kidding me!!!??? I've seen those things, how could an egg get out of that???! Who would put up with this!??!!?" but of course I took it like, "Yes, of course." For sometime afterward I would see adults and think, "What are you sick people up to?" Ahhh kids.... Oh yeah kids- that reminds me!
I just recalled that story Ron was tellin today about seeing a woman on the street who was getting punched in the back by her five year old son, hard as he could. She was all pleading with the kid and just trying to get him to stop with the tantrum... but this kid kept screaming "I hate you!!" at her repeatedly... Ron goes, "I really wanted to walk up to this lady and say, 'Please Ma'am, just give me a reason and I'll kick this kid to death.'" I bet that little boy would be pretty shocked if his moms responded to Ron, "Alright pal... whatever... go right ahead!" all defeated, while hurling the kid over Ron's direction by his skinny little arm.... That would be a lesson that twerp would never forget...if through some miracle he survived.
I guess I was also shocked today by Dave's announcement of a big teddy bear funeral celebration thing.......but... Ron and Fez show, you know me; I am but a simple woman... I have only attended Irish wakes and biker gang send offs for fallen riders.... So, I wish not to judge that insanity about animal costumes around a coffin and stuff... In fact, other cultures' funeral rituals are pretty interesting to me......
I kinda dig the imagery of the burning funeral pyre floating down the Ganges Riverin India.... or a Viking burial where a ship is pushed out to sea, flames climbing its mast and sail as it transports the heroic body into the setting sun... Hmm... wait, maybe I just like to see floating fire... Hey will ya look at that! ...I dunno... As much as these things interest me, I've never had much care for what becomes of me once I kick the bucket.... I'm dead, ya know? After listening to today's show, however, I have begun to give it more thought...
Today we heard the phrase, "It's what she would have wanted..." time and time again....You go to funerals you hear that statement and it makes me wonder just how many souls are peeking down from heaven at their own funeral thinking, "What the hey? You went with purple!??" and, "All these years I've been screaming at you Phil, 'Ya don't know the first thing about me!' and it turns out to be true!" Stuff like that.... Yeah I still somehow think that annoyance exists in Heaven... Ummm... but anyway..
It got me thinkin about funerals..... and I believe that starting today, I am about to embark on the compiling of a long and detailed list of demands for my funeral in a will. With all this talk of, "it would have been just as she wanted it," I want to be sure that my intentions would REALLY be carried out according to my specifications...
Every stipulation will relay a ceremony that would be exactly the opposite of anything I would ever want to be linked to in life... Just to befuddle people! I will probably have to secretly hire some lawyer to handle this for me so that it is a surprise to one and all of my loved ones who are still kickin at that point.. So I'm trusting you not to leak this info, Ron and Fez Show! (shakes fist menacingly)....
So, upon death I was thinking about goin for a real 1980's high powered executive look... Think, Melanie Griffith in, "Working Girl,"....BEFORE the makeover...... In a sassy hairdo and a smart 80's shoulder padded suit I will lie there in me casket! What else, what esle...??? Oh man! I should probably just have the soundtrack to that very film playing softly during the viewing too..... Yeah.... It'll be all Carly Simon and Chris De Burgh songs at first! For the record I was not really aware of what was on the soundtrack....but after investigating just now... I am sure that is exactly nothing I would have enjoyed in life.... so take it in my death, weirdos!
I may have to hire an actor to give my touching eulogy, (everyone's like, "WHO is THIS guy!?? He just said he was he best friend!") about how all I ever wanted in life was, "to make it in the cut-throat world of high finance, and how, 'she made it baby!'" It is now my fondest wish that all attendees will have to file out of the funeral home singing together, "Hotel California," ....while uncomfortably whispering among themselves, "Is this really what she would have wanted???" I know that song's not on the soundtrack, but it'll work! Believe meeee....
This may be one of my best and pointless long term plans yet! Shit, I may not even be able to see it from wherever I'm at......but.... I'm gonna take a chance and chalk it up to one of them, "spice o' life," experiences that I will be able to leave for people to wonder about.... and remember me by..... I'm sure I will be able to add more details as the years drag on.... (knock on wood).
Well Ron and Fez Show.... It was fun typing this to yez as I happily was able to hear more of ya on that hostile take over... "that wasn't so hostile!" on KROCK today! You guys sounded so great! I was happy to hear about yez buring down huts and everything else...and looting the station of their office supplies and tickets.... AND THEN a bonus visit from The Natchaaaa Boy....That was beast.... Yeah me ole ears perked up every time yez came back from a music break...... Love extra Ron and Fez!!! Dug hearing news stuffs like the word about Jack White's newborn baby.... Ron was like, "Aww I bet he's the whitest baby in the world!" Fezzie thought that this kid was so white he was invisible.....Ron said they called him, "Aquarium." Man, these rock stars and the crazy names they call their kids, right?!? Oh...........Ooh. That reminds me... I wonder how many people quickly went to google the name, "Wolfie Van Halen, " today. I certainly had to....
Wolfie's an adorable lil feller and everything, but I guess that statement today by Opie that Ron looks like him... or could be his pops, launched the radio war back into high gear again... I wonder if we will all look back on this day as the one we all heard, "The quip heard round the world." I ask you all to take a moment to pray for radio peace.... and by all means forget you ever heard that number that's posted on many message boards, right there for the taking!! Man, that whole thing had me cackling....um...cackling with concern, of course! You guys are the best :0) Peace out!
Signed,
kathleen from the bronx :):):)