Kathleen From The Bronx
08-20-2007, 05:07 PM
Dear Ron and Fez Shooow,
So D.C. is rocked by scandal once again....but this time it's not of the Watergate or, "The bitch set me up," variety... Crazy shit! Sometimes I wonder how oblivious I really am.... I mean, I was at the Jimmy Norton taping and saw none of Bobo being jostled! I definitely caught nary a glimpse of any suspicious characters sniffing around another mans cigar! I guess you couldn't call me, "Miss Marple"....or.."Jessica Fletcher".....or ...."Harriet the Spy." Though I really wish somebody fucking would...I like that whole mystery solvin gimmick...Afterall I am known to go creeping around and staring at people while scribbling down stuff about them in my notebook... Oh but let's face it, I don't deserve! I noticed nothing! I was not on the case. I feel a little bit guilty about the whole cigar-napping....Should never have happened..... It was sad to hear Ron have to lament, "I used to think, 'What's the big deal about your miscarriage, you can have another one.' Now I understand, YOU CAN NEVER GET IT BACK!!! I want my cigar back!!!"
At first I thought that it was a ruse... after the Saget taping...when Ron told us all that his fine cuban cigar had been ganked. I was like, "Nah....It'll show up!" I was sure that someone would appear out of the studio like, "Hey! Don't ferget yer cigar!" When it became abundantly clear that this would not the case I really felt disbelief! I pondered, "Why!? Who would do such a thing.... It had already been in his mout for God's sakes!....What the hell are they gonna do with that??..... Whoa...WHAT ARE they gonna do with that??" Booo. That sucks. I mean doesn't feel good to have your belongings stolen from you, that's one thing........but..... I tell ya, even though I am no connoisseur of fine Cuban cigars I can appreciate the loss! Shit, I would be heartbroken to return home to find that my leftover calzone had been eaten! Mine!
Look, understand RnF, I am not sayin that the two crimes are exactly comparable..... but I get that when you are looking forward to something as a celebratory reward, nothing else can take its place...... I mean I remember working whatever shitty job, and while mopping the floor thinking abooout... all I had to do was get done with this and then I could go home to whatever lovely plate my moms had saved for me. You know how, "Everybody's Working for the Weekend," that ole Loverboy ditty says....but it's like sometimes you're just working for leftover lasagna. Coming home to find that one of my brothers had gobbled it up was sometimes too much to take! I mean it's like disappointment, anger...despair. I would yell at them, "I should never stop beating you!!! Now I'm supposed to make some kinda tuna fish sandwich like nobody loves me!???! Is this all some act of revenge?"
Again, I know that these are different circumstances..... Your cigar was supposed to be waiting for ya Ron, as in...."Ahhh my work is done, mission accomplished,".... Like now you could finally relax......But no! It seems a sin after the good shows and killa interviews and everything.....I relate, but see, the problem with me is that I grant such congratulatory prizes to myself, not only for a day of work, but even for menial household chores.
At times I really believe that the only thing my inner voice is good for is for offering me rewards....It's only good for getting me to do stuff I don't want to really do..... like the laundry.. that kinda shit.... It says, "Dooooo the laundry and empty the dishwasher, then you can smoke a bowl.... " My inner voice offers rewards for doing what's supposed to be my job.... like scooby snacks... My inner voice is treating me like a cartoon dog.... That's what's happening.... What I'm sayin is, Ronnie, though I don't fully know what it is to lose a cigar, I would be pissed as fuck EVEN if someone took it upon themselves to empty out an ash tray that was housing the tiniest of roaches! What the hell else is supposed to get me through laundry day!?? That kinda thing makes you suddenly understand why some cultures cut off hands as a punishment for stealing. That'll teach ya to keep your hands to yaself! I tell ya, I really was surprised to hear that dude call in to confess for his friend the cigar thief. I guess they figured they would be tracked down....It was only a matter of time...Anyway.....Sorry ya had to be inconsolable...
Anutha thing..... I can kind of relate to the fear of being captured on video..... Ya see, the thing with me is that it pains me enough to recall past conversations I've had...I think back like, "What the fuck kinda stupid shit was that to say?"....... and those are sober conversations even! If you want to throw booze into that equation, fergetit! It's tragic enough for me to have to relive my past shared thoughts mentally.... but in audio and visual!?!!? It is a shame I can barely endure! I've always been like that....I remember the first time I heard a freakin recording of my voice in a school play and I was like... "What?! You have got to be kidding me!" Believe me there is more....There was one night of drinking captured on tape in South Jersey when my brother in law had a new camera....... That was years ago and I still have to be reminded constantly of the time that I yelled, "You're ass is grass, brother!" like somekinda mongrelization of many wrestling personalities....... Shuddderrrr....it's hideous..... Oy, I can't go on...
OH! but don't let me forget to tell you how much I dug the new Sleeves song today! Man.... that song has been in my head all day! And in a good way... It's so catchy...and yet...slightly menacing! I love it... Something about that piano...something about those, "you liked it...you knoooow you liked it," drops really captured the scene that I imagine would represent the scarring, tell tale flashbacks if Dave's life were being made into a biopic.....
Maybe that's that reason that I suddenly pictured, "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane." while listening to Ruby. Oddly enough I didn't picture the classic film with Bette Davis and Joan Crawford.... My sudden mental image was of the 1991 made for T.V. Redgrave sisters' version.. Crazy red hair pigtails...bizarrely smeared, garish makeup.......... and the little girl star reverting to times of love and acceptance psychotically.... Redgrave style......
Lil Ruby does sound like a tap-dancing darling cherub of yesteryear.....A child star..... I wondered if Dave would ever mysteriously backslide into his Lil Ruby role..... I dunno, sometimes people just snap!! What the hell do I know... That would be crazy..... and then this whole, "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane," reference would suddenly feel like wise foreshadowing or eeeeerie coincidence... I know right!?! Man, I really did dig that song...Oh.. and how cool, dug the Bowie inspired Ruby song by that cat Stizer, too! Little Ruby is an inspiration!
Aiiight my friends.... I'll stop making you read........Digging the show as always....
Signed,
kathleen from the bronx :):):)
So D.C. is rocked by scandal once again....but this time it's not of the Watergate or, "The bitch set me up," variety... Crazy shit! Sometimes I wonder how oblivious I really am.... I mean, I was at the Jimmy Norton taping and saw none of Bobo being jostled! I definitely caught nary a glimpse of any suspicious characters sniffing around another mans cigar! I guess you couldn't call me, "Miss Marple"....or.."Jessica Fletcher".....or ...."Harriet the Spy." Though I really wish somebody fucking would...I like that whole mystery solvin gimmick...Afterall I am known to go creeping around and staring at people while scribbling down stuff about them in my notebook... Oh but let's face it, I don't deserve! I noticed nothing! I was not on the case. I feel a little bit guilty about the whole cigar-napping....Should never have happened..... It was sad to hear Ron have to lament, "I used to think, 'What's the big deal about your miscarriage, you can have another one.' Now I understand, YOU CAN NEVER GET IT BACK!!! I want my cigar back!!!"
At first I thought that it was a ruse... after the Saget taping...when Ron told us all that his fine cuban cigar had been ganked. I was like, "Nah....It'll show up!" I was sure that someone would appear out of the studio like, "Hey! Don't ferget yer cigar!" When it became abundantly clear that this would not the case I really felt disbelief! I pondered, "Why!? Who would do such a thing.... It had already been in his mout for God's sakes!....What the hell are they gonna do with that??..... Whoa...WHAT ARE they gonna do with that??" Booo. That sucks. I mean doesn't feel good to have your belongings stolen from you, that's one thing........but..... I tell ya, even though I am no connoisseur of fine Cuban cigars I can appreciate the loss! Shit, I would be heartbroken to return home to find that my leftover calzone had been eaten! Mine!
Look, understand RnF, I am not sayin that the two crimes are exactly comparable..... but I get that when you are looking forward to something as a celebratory reward, nothing else can take its place...... I mean I remember working whatever shitty job, and while mopping the floor thinking abooout... all I had to do was get done with this and then I could go home to whatever lovely plate my moms had saved for me. You know how, "Everybody's Working for the Weekend," that ole Loverboy ditty says....but it's like sometimes you're just working for leftover lasagna. Coming home to find that one of my brothers had gobbled it up was sometimes too much to take! I mean it's like disappointment, anger...despair. I would yell at them, "I should never stop beating you!!! Now I'm supposed to make some kinda tuna fish sandwich like nobody loves me!???! Is this all some act of revenge?"
Again, I know that these are different circumstances..... Your cigar was supposed to be waiting for ya Ron, as in...."Ahhh my work is done, mission accomplished,".... Like now you could finally relax......But no! It seems a sin after the good shows and killa interviews and everything.....I relate, but see, the problem with me is that I grant such congratulatory prizes to myself, not only for a day of work, but even for menial household chores.
At times I really believe that the only thing my inner voice is good for is for offering me rewards....It's only good for getting me to do stuff I don't want to really do..... like the laundry.. that kinda shit.... It says, "Dooooo the laundry and empty the dishwasher, then you can smoke a bowl.... " My inner voice offers rewards for doing what's supposed to be my job.... like scooby snacks... My inner voice is treating me like a cartoon dog.... That's what's happening.... What I'm sayin is, Ronnie, though I don't fully know what it is to lose a cigar, I would be pissed as fuck EVEN if someone took it upon themselves to empty out an ash tray that was housing the tiniest of roaches! What the hell else is supposed to get me through laundry day!?? That kinda thing makes you suddenly understand why some cultures cut off hands as a punishment for stealing. That'll teach ya to keep your hands to yaself! I tell ya, I really was surprised to hear that dude call in to confess for his friend the cigar thief. I guess they figured they would be tracked down....It was only a matter of time...Anyway.....Sorry ya had to be inconsolable...
Anutha thing..... I can kind of relate to the fear of being captured on video..... Ya see, the thing with me is that it pains me enough to recall past conversations I've had...I think back like, "What the fuck kinda stupid shit was that to say?"....... and those are sober conversations even! If you want to throw booze into that equation, fergetit! It's tragic enough for me to have to relive my past shared thoughts mentally.... but in audio and visual!?!!? It is a shame I can barely endure! I've always been like that....I remember the first time I heard a freakin recording of my voice in a school play and I was like... "What?! You have got to be kidding me!" Believe me there is more....There was one night of drinking captured on tape in South Jersey when my brother in law had a new camera....... That was years ago and I still have to be reminded constantly of the time that I yelled, "You're ass is grass, brother!" like somekinda mongrelization of many wrestling personalities....... Shuddderrrr....it's hideous..... Oy, I can't go on...
OH! but don't let me forget to tell you how much I dug the new Sleeves song today! Man.... that song has been in my head all day! And in a good way... It's so catchy...and yet...slightly menacing! I love it... Something about that piano...something about those, "you liked it...you knoooow you liked it," drops really captured the scene that I imagine would represent the scarring, tell tale flashbacks if Dave's life were being made into a biopic.....
Maybe that's that reason that I suddenly pictured, "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane." while listening to Ruby. Oddly enough I didn't picture the classic film with Bette Davis and Joan Crawford.... My sudden mental image was of the 1991 made for T.V. Redgrave sisters' version.. Crazy red hair pigtails...bizarrely smeared, garish makeup.......... and the little girl star reverting to times of love and acceptance psychotically.... Redgrave style......
Lil Ruby does sound like a tap-dancing darling cherub of yesteryear.....A child star..... I wondered if Dave would ever mysteriously backslide into his Lil Ruby role..... I dunno, sometimes people just snap!! What the hell do I know... That would be crazy..... and then this whole, "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane," reference would suddenly feel like wise foreshadowing or eeeeerie coincidence... I know right!?! Man, I really did dig that song...Oh.. and how cool, dug the Bowie inspired Ruby song by that cat Stizer, too! Little Ruby is an inspiration!
Aiiight my friends.... I'll stop making you read........Digging the show as always....
Signed,
kathleen from the bronx :):):)