I can't get her out of my head...

[El Mudo]

So here's the thing...


Basically, I told this girl how I felt about her...oh...around a month or two ago, and she rejected me. I felt awful about it for about two or three weeks, cause i was seriously in love with her (there was a LOT of Willie Nelson listened to)


But now its a couple months later, and I just can't seem to get her out of my head. I know I should probably move on, but I just can't. And it doesn't really help when I have to see her pretty much every day (we work together), and I just keep picking up all these signals and vibes from her like she is interested in something with me. I compare it to football almost, like she's my starting qb....she's making just enough plays to stay on the field, and I can't bring myself to bench her yet.

I figure I could tell her I can't be her friend anymore, and I can't do that cause I still want her in my life, but i'm also pretty sure I can't stay working there, cause it breaks my heart in two every day when she leaves, cause I know i'm not going to see her again for a while. She's not seeing anybody now, and I almost wish she WAS...even if it wasn't me, cause that would give me some finality at least, and probably show me definitively she's not interested in me, instead of continually getting my hopes up that she is, and then crashing again when I find out she isnt. Its like every time I get ready to say.."okay...i need to move on and try to find someone else", its like something happens with her that makes it impossible for me to move on. And it doesn't really help either when she's probably one of the only girls thats ever been interested in me and actually liked doing things with me and hanging out with me.


I'm a mess....:surrender:

[Marc with a c]

Get her into your car.

[donnie_darko]

that sucks
i've been in long term relationships for so long i've had a lot of female friends that were interested in being more than friends.....that i feel fairly certain that this girl just wasn't attracted to you.

it seems that younger women are more influenced by physical attraction then older women, its strange.

anyway, you're obviously obsessed, just don't kill her or anything.

[mikeyboy]

My gut tells me that she isn't interested at all, but she likes having you interested in her for one reason or another, so she sends somewhat mixed signals.

[Fallon]

My gut tells me that she isn't interested at all, but she likes having you interested in her for one reason or another, so she sends somewhat mixed signals.

Fuck her if that's the case. As much as it might hurt, you should start ignoring her.

This will pass over time, you'll be alright pal.

[El Mudo]

My gut tells me that she isn't interested at all, but she likes having you interested in her for one reason or another, so she sends somewhat mixed signals.



Thats what I feel like...I know she really likes the attention, but she's also got this whole thing where she feels she doesnt deserve to be loved or feel worthy of any type of love, and she KNOWS i'm a better guy than any of the pieces of garbage she's dated before or were in her life, but it feels like sometimes she doesn't think she's good enough to be with me...so she automatically gravitates towards douchebags and guys that treat her like crap

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

it feels like sometimes she doesn't think she's good enough to be with me

She's not that "complicated." Trust me.

Please, for the love of God, move on. She'll send "signals" as long as you pay attention to her.

[Giggle]

I'm very sorry to say that it's time to move on. This woman probably likes to have you stroke her ego. If she recently said that she is not interested- she is still not interested. Sad but true.

[OneEyeJack]

1st step: take her out and treat her like a lady..
2nd step: tell her your the oneyou been dreaming of..
3rd step: take her in your arms and never let her go..

step by step you,ll win her love..

[midwestjeff]

Fixed.

[Bulldogcakes]

Thats what I feel like...I know she really likes the attention, but she's also got this whole thing where she feels she doesnt deserve to be loved or feel worthy of any type of love, and she KNOWS i'm a better guy than any of the pieces of garbage she's dated before or were in her life, but it feels like sometimes she doesn't think she's good enough to be with me...so she automatically gravitates towards douchebags and guys that treat her like crap

This is the dictionary definition of being in "The Friend Zone".

Best thing you can do right now is find another girl, go have a great time with her and tell her all about it. Then you'll be out of the friend zone and into "the one that got away" land. Then she'll probably ask you out.

But these are all bullshit games anyway. Fun, but bullshit. If she doesn't feel it for you there's a reason and you two will just get around to it realizing sooner or later. I say just get over it, its really no loss anyway. If after you two have already got to know each other but she doesn't see the value in you there's no point in trying to convince her. Its not like you have years invested in a relationship or kids together. Its just a silly crush.

[AngelAmy]

I would love to say post of the millennium with that quote fix, jeff, but this is a serious forum so keep the replies serious, thanks.


and mudo i think when we talked about this a few months ago i said it sounds like she isn't interested...so it sucks but youll just have to wait for the feelings to pass...it sounds impossbile but eventually they will pass.

[El Mudo]

I just hope it will be better if/when I get out of there. I axed about a transfer recently, but I basically got the "we need to find someone to replace you after we get things settled here" line, which is manager speak for "either 8-16 months, or not at all". I think it would be all right if I just didn't have to see her every single day...she wouldn't just consume all my thoughts and I wouldn't waste all this time/energy getting my hopes up.


Hopefully if I get one of these jobs I applied for and get outta there I can just start moving forward again

[Fezticle98]

I dated a girl I worked in the same building with once. It sucked after we broke up.

Don't worry, you'll have football season to take your mind off it soon. :smoke:

[keithy_19]

It sucks man. I have nothing the way of advice to give. All I can say is I'm in the same boat as you. It sucks a whole lot and you feel so defeated when you can't get your mind off of her.

[ChrisTheCop]

<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/zPlD8mrVHeg"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/zPlD8mrVHeg" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>

[Poochie]

She's not that "complicated." Trust me.

Please, for the love of God, move on. She'll send "signals" as long as you pay attention to her.

I absolutely agree. She knows how you feel about her, she told you she wasn't interested and now she's secretly fucking with you. Women do this because it's nice to know we're wanted. Move on.

[Bulldogcakes]

Women do this because we're selfish and cruel

Ooops! How did THAT get in there?:wink:

[topless_mike]

act like an asshole towards her.
women dig that for some reason.

and if not, at least that will shoo her away.

[CaptClown]

It's already been said, "Ignore her", and it pretty good advice.

[El Mudo]

Well....here's an update


Over the weekend/earlier this week, I basically had an epiphany of sorts. I realized pretty much that she's never going to feel the way I feel about her, and i'm never going to be anything to her other than someone she can go talk to when her sister or other people in her life give her a hard time, because she knows I won't, and I never have.

So for the last few days I've just been trying to avoid her at work. I exchange pleasantries, I say "hello" and "goodbye" and that's about it. And I even started parking wayyyy over on the other side of the parking lot so I dont have to see her before she leaves. Ive been working my ass off in my own department just trying to stay busy and so I can keep my mind on other things.

Today I finally put it to her, and told her that I felt like I was "pursuing" her, and I just can't deal with that anymore with someone who pretty much doesn't really care about me, and that ive got to give her some space, and ive got to back off some, if just for my own sanity. Naturally she was upset that I "hadn't been talking" to her, which technically, was not true, and I think that was her way of maybe trying to cloud up the issue some, but I have no way of knowing for sure. I think we are/were pretty good friends, but I just get the feeling sometimes that she could care less if I was living or dead (I told this to her)


I feel so embarrassed and sad that ive burdened all my friends with this for the last month or two. I haven't been really talking to anyone for most of the week, ive shut off the AIM and haven't been going on Myspace or answering any texts. Ive just decided ive got to withdraw for a few weeks/monhts, put myself back together and make some really solid self improvements, and then just go from there

[The Silencer]

every time you think of her...just say Fuck Her...go to a couple of parties...hook up with a few girls and when a drunken hottie is on top of you at the partay...i am sure you will forget about her lol:laugh:

[Kris10]

Your allowing her to get to you and she's playing you. She's either interested or she's not. I hate when nice guys get played!