Have to take a crap?

[Don Stugots]

So, it is my second day at the new company, without me knowing, they decided to make me an in office project manager. The office is very small. there are 8 people in here all sitting with their desks facing each other. There is a bathroom for the office staff. It is small and you can hear the person doing their business when they are in there. I need to crap! What do I do?

[King Hippos Bandaid]

No Dumps until 1 month into a Job..

You dont want to be known as Shitty Shiterton , the guy who took a big shit on his second day

:king:

[Don Stugots]

well what the hell can i do? it is so bad that i cannot even pee out of fear of leakage.

[AJDELAWARE]

is it in an office building? if so, there are probably public restrooms somewhere. When I start working somewhere, the first thing I do is scout all the restrooms in the building, so I know where to go in case of that kind of emergency.

[Crispy123]

Take the biggest most foul smelling shit, while making loud obnoxious groaning noises. Then, leave it in the bowl come out and announce, "whover can top that one will sleep with my wife".

[King Hippos Bandaid]

well what the hell can i do? it is so bad that i cannot even pee out of fear of leakage.

if there is a restaurant or place with a Bathroom in walking distince, excuse your self for 5 minutes..

:king:

[Kris10]

Take an early lunch and head out somewhere.

[Furtherman]

Find another bathroom or wait until everyone goes to lunch.

[AJDELAWARE]

Take the biggest most foul smelling shit, while making loud obnoxious groaning noises. Then, leave it in the bowl come out and announce, "whover can top that one will sleep with my wife".

BEST
POST
EVER.

[Soupy_Dreck]

you've been on job sites before, shit in a bucket behind the building or pull the fire alarm and as everyone leaves, do your business

[Yuppie_Scum]

JUST DO IT!!!

Rock that john kid.

[A.J.]

Sit, flush, release, flush.

Then wash hands.

[BoondockSaint]

I'm sure Dave could suggest something.

[Hottub]

Take the biggest most foul smelling shit, while making loud obnoxious groaning noises. Then, leave it in the bowl come out and announce, "whover can top that one will sleep with my wife".

BEST
POST
EVER.

I second.

[Dougie Brootal]

take a shit. who gives a fuck? like these people dont shit?

[cupcakelove]

Just go and take care of your business. Make sure you spray some air freshener though.

[Crispy123]

BEST
POST
EVER.

I second.

You like me, you really like me!!!

http://digabyte.com/avatars/SallyFieldOscar.jpg

[Kris10]

Ok, ok.... I'll give up every females secret to shitting. Do your business, flush, and when your done light a match. The sulfur gets rid of the odor.

[AJDELAWARE]

Ok, ok.... I'll give up every females secret to shitting. Do your business, flush, and when your done light a match. The sulfur gets rid of the odor.

You mean girls shit?!

Sike, I know they do, I just always thought it smelled like a stinky tulip and came out as replicas of priceless works of art.

[Kris10]

You mean girls shit?!

Sike, I know they do, I just always thought it smelled like a stinky tulip and came out as replicas of priceless works of art.

What can I say, we are that damn good. Now if you'll excuse me I'm off to go shit at work! :flush:

[Don Stugots]

i went up to the 6th floor and use their hallway bathroom. thank you. i feel better and i had a laugh thinking about your posts while i did my business.

[AJDELAWARE]

i went up to the 6th floor and use their hallway bathroom. thank you. i feel better and i had a laugh thinking about your posts while i did my business.

Thats what I had always done, i would go to the vacant 3rd floor and destroy the bathroom.
It was better then using the 1st floor bathroom that all the hoodlums and white trash applying for jobs at US AIR would use.

[Ritalin]

Next time go ahead and use that first floor bathroom but sing Kansas at the top of your lungs to drown out the noise.

Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuust in the wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiind.

[SouthSideJohnny]

There is a bathroom for the office staff. It is small and you can hear the person doing their business when they are in there. I need to crap! What do I do?

Is Fez now posting under the name Stugots?

[drjoek]

Thank God we now know how Stugots handled his bodily functions situation
:wallbash::help:

[JPMNICK]

you got to get yourself on the night shitting schedule

[Don Stugots]

you got to get yourself on the night shitting schedule

i shit 3 or 4 times a day, i eat fruit, veggies and drink detox tea. there is no schedule.

[JPMNICK]

i shit 3 or 4 times a day, i eat fruit, veggies and drink detox tea. there is no schedule.

well then make friends with someone on a different floor so it doesn't look weird everytime you go up there to shit!

[topless_mike]

Then wash hands.

optional

[FUNKMAN]

before showering for work...

http://pics.drugstore.com/prodimg/27196/200.jpg

[Ritalin]

i shit 3 or 4 times a day, i eat fruit, veggies and drink detox tea. there is no schedule.

Homage to Steven Wright:

What do you take to get rid of all that detox tea in your system?

No?

Alright, here's another one:

What do you do if you spill club soda on your shirt? Rub some blood on it.

[MONICA5579]

I say go ahead and take a dump. Just make sure you have a radio at your desk and maybe you can turn the volume up a little so no one can hear you drop bombs.:flush:

[JPMNICK]

when you have to pee, in order for people not to hear it, put some TP in the bowl before you start to kill the noise of it hitting the water.

or piss in the sink

[Don Stugots]

when you have to pee, in order for people not to hear it, put some TP in the bowl before you start to kill the noise of it hitting the water.

or piss in the sink

the walls have no insulation in them. i can hear the hot chick tinkling.

[JPMNICK]

the walls have no insulation in them. i can hear the hot chick tinkling.

dude if i worked there i would have to hold it all day until i got home

[Don Stugots]

dude if i worked there i would have to hold it all day until i got home

well i have to go again and i think i am holding it in.

[JPMNICK]

well i have to go again and i think i am holding it in.

gatorade bottle under your desk

[Don Stugots]

gatorade bottle under your desk

my shit logs are not going to fit in a gatorade bottle. when i pee i dont shot right into the water to keep the noise down.

[Bob Impact]

There is a small underground passageway that connects the two buildings at my new job. In the middle of this passage that is literally 3/4 of a mile long there is a bathroom, the best mudding bathroom in the world, it NEVER gets visited unless theres someone else with the same idea.

[Hottub]

the walls have no insulation in them. i can hear the hot chick tinkling.

Are you hiring?

[El Mudo]

There is a small underground passageway that connects the two buildings at my new job. In the middle of this passage that is literally 3/4 of a mile long there is a bathroom, the best mudding bathroom in the world, it NEVER gets visited unless theres someone else with the same idea.



That was the best part of the first store I worked at...there was a set of bathrooms all the way upstairs that NOBODY used...it was AWESOME

[Bob Impact]

That was the best part of the first store I worked at...there was a set of bathrooms all the way upstairs that NOBODY used...it was AWESOME

This whole thing reminds me of a bathroom that was in the business classroom building at my college, it was WAAAAY up on the sixth floor which due to the design of the building housed very little. You could sleep up there and not see anyone for weeks. So I go to take what feels like a dump large enough to kill a man, and the fuckin door is locked. So I wait, feeling that awful lower back pain, and I wait, and I wait... finally I give and knock on the door and hear:

Girl: Uhh, someone's in here!
Guy: SHHH!

I wait another five minutes, and when theres no action I knock again.

Girl: I'm going to be in here a while!
Guy: ::under his breath:: Shut UP!

At this point I could care less about their sex lives because im about to burst, so I start POUNDING on the door and screaming "STOP FUCKING IN THERE! I'VE GOTTA SHIT!"

They walk out, as embarrased as can be, and I say, "Look, noone is ever up here, you can have it when I'm done, but I'm fuckin dying." The girl looks at me like i'm the sickest bastard ever, and the guy says "Cool, thanks dude" I go in and do my business, and when I get out, there they are, sitting on the floor. I walk out and say "You may want to wait a while, cause theres no man on Earth who can get it up in that stench." I didn't stick around to see if he could, but with the looks of the girl he was with he needed all the help he could get.

[ChrisTheCop]

Stugots will be played by Michael J Fox in the upcoming, "The Secret of my Succesful Shitting".

[Kris10]

I can't believe I came back to this thread to find out how it ended. :wacko:

[topless_mike]

i think the funniest part is after the couple's spot was blown, they sat outside and waited for BOB to finish deucing so they could go back in.