I have ZERO Game.

[JerseyRich]

Some of you know my story.

Got married last year to a chick that I was dating since I was 17.

Chick cheated on me a few months into the marriage.

Left chick November of last year.

Got divorced May of this year.

Had a relationship with a chick that was up and down and recently has hit the "friend zone". Which I am fine with. We both need to move on with our lives...

But I have come to the utterly depressing conclusion that I have NO GAME.

I'm in a band and when we go out to play, I find it impossible to make eye contact with women that are looking at me from across the bar or the crowd.

I'm in a band, UP ON STAGE...ENTERTAINING PEOPLE...and I still can't talk to strangers without feeling completely awkward and having no ability to keep a conversation going. I'm 28, and I'm feeling like I'm 16 again.

Help me out.

[thejives]

This post reminds me that how people get offended when I use the term Chick outside the ronfez universe.

I referred to my wife as my chick in front of my mother-in-law the other day. Raised some eyebrows.

Anyway. Rich, you're in a band, that's got to be big help. Watch your bandmates and how they operate. They're on the same playing field so they're a good indicator of what works. Don't copy them, but watch them and get some ideas. That's what I think. Good luck brutha.

[JerseyRich]

This post reminds me that how people get offended when I use the term Chick outside the ronfez universe.

I referred to my wife as my chick in front of my mother-in-law the other day. Raised some eyebrows.

Anyway. Rich, you're in a band, that's got to be big help. Watch your bandmates and how they operate. They're on the same playing field so they're a good indicator of what works. Don't copy them, but watch them and get some ideas. That's what I think. Good luck brutha.

They're all either in relationships or kind of asexual.

[mendyweiss]

You must be a pretty good musician, to perfom in front of people. Try to move that self confidence to your personal life

[thejives]

They're all either in relationships or kind of asexual.

The Asexuals is a good band name.

So, yeah. I'm a lot like you. Married my first chick.

Match.com?

[lleeder]

I say just approach every woman you come in contact with until you finally hit it off with one. Try 20, 30 or even 40 girls a day. Eventually you will develop some game or stumble upon something. Getting turned down will mean nothing to you after a while.

[King Hippos Bandaid]

Sorry to Hear Bro

bars are the Hardest way to find someone to be compatable with

You need to network with friends to help find someone, your friends know you better than yourself

:king:

[buzzard]

Don't kill me for saying this,however, I think yer trying too hard.You obviously have talents,friends,personality & lots of game.Stop thinking about how damaged you are and ENJOY this time...i kinna liken it to putting the car up on the rack and running diagnostics....stop looking for what's wrong with you,be happy your you & have the sense to question what's wrong with you.You'll meet who you meet when you least expect it.Sorry If you think I'm cliche'ing out on you.I'm honestly not(trying to) cut yerself lots of slack,find yerself.

[Furtherman]

You're young, just chill out and have fun. The ladies will come to you.

[reillyluck]

You sir, are no zero. I find you to be a great guy with a great personality. It takes a lot of balls to go up on stage and entertain. You just have to stop holding it back when it comes to your personal life.

Im sure these past scenarios have a lot to do with the way you are handling your present situation. Things happen for a reason. I truly believe that. If you are not comfortable with approaching women, just at least try to feel them out. Hang out with more "girl friends". get their intake on how they handle guys who approach them.

[drjoek]

You play guitar in a band and can't get chicks? Isn't that the reason to get into a band?

[Tall_James]

I met my wife on a blind date set up by mutual friends. We've been together for 8 years now.

Ask friends that you trust to set you up with girls they think you'd be a good match with. Blind dates are daunting and kind of scary but take a chance, you never know who you'll meet.

[sailor]

i would imagine the gals would just come up to you after your set. just make yourself available. let them do the work.

[JerseyRich]

So I guess the consensus is to buck up and stop crying in my soup...

Alright! I feel better already! :clap:

When's the next Crankcase gig anyway? Where the hell are all of you?

[Marc with a c]

Where the hell are all of you?

you're asking internet dweebs for girl advice. please don't be suprised you weren't inundated with responses.

[JerseyRich]

you're asking internet dweebs for girl advice. please don't be suprised you weren't inundated with responses.

It's all about quality, not quantity!

I got some good stuff.

[Crispy123]

Sorry to Hear Bro

bars are the Hardest way to find someone to be compatable with

You need to network with friends to help find someone, your friends know you better than yourself

:king:

QFT

If you have musical talent maybe you would like a chick that is into art. Hang out at galleries, churches, concerts in the park and look for hotties there to take with you to the bars and clubs.

[Tenbatsuzen]

Seriously, say "What the Fuck". WTF brings opportunity. You don't need game or bravado. Game is something Fratboys rely on to get sophwhores in college. Talk. "Hey. How's it going."

[Tenbatsuzen]

And Rich, if you trust me, I know a girl who's into Robbie Williams and Jeff Buckley. Bonus points that she hated me for the first two years she knew me. She lives in the city and she's a redhead. If interested, PM me.

[donnie_darko]

when i want to impress a lady.
i leave a large sparkly image wishing her a good day on her myspace page.

babes love sparkly images.
pooonmagnets.

[JerseyRich]

when i want to impress a lady.
i leave a large sparkly image wishing her a good day on her myspace page.

babes love sparkly images.
pooonmagnets.

If that wasn't so true, I wouldn't be laughing right now.
:lol:

[JerseyRich]

And Rich, if you trust me, I know a girl who's into Robbie Williams and Jeff Buckley. Bonus points that she hated me for the first two years she knew me. She lives in the city and she's a redhead. If interested, PM me.

Great! She likes British Pop stars and Californian Musicians who drown themselves.

I should be in baby!


Hmm...I've never had a firecrotch before.

But she lives in the city....HIGH MAINTENANCE!

jk.

Look! I've already reduced her to a stereotype. Jesus, am I Woody Allen here or what?

[Tenbatsuzen]

Great! She likes British Pop stars and Californian Musicians who drown themselves.

I should be in baby!


Hmm...I've never had a firecrotch before.

But she lives in the city....HIGH MAINTENANCE!

jk.

Look! I've already reduced her to a stereotype. Jesus, am I Woody Allen here or what?

Actually, she's incredibly LOW maintenance, even lower maintenance than Liz. In fact, she kinda looks like Liz a little, now that I think about it.

[FUNKMAN]

don't need no game, keep it real...

[Hottub]

don't need no game, keep it real...


Listen to the Funkmeister!!!!!

[JerseyRich]

You are all indeed a bunch of wise mutha fuckas.

[SatCam]

You play guitar in a band and can't get chicks? Isn't that the reason to get into a band?

bass :wallbash:

[Chigworthy]

It's a flaming hemmoroid of a cliche, but it's true: Chicks love confidence. You gots to be confident, even if you fake it.

[Doctor Z]

Being in a band is game enough! Women will fuck anyone who can play an instrument... Keeping that in mind, you should ride that shit out.

[ChrisTheCop]

Seriously, youre a good looking guy AND youre in a band.

Someone said it before, let them come to you. Just sit on the stage after a set or something. I see it happen all the time...and I hate those fuckers; its so easy for them (even ugly ones).

and YOURE one of them!!! so...make me hate you!!!

[Fallon]

Darn, sorry to hear it.

I'm in the same boat. I find it very hard to make first contact with women, very shy and it bothers me. What sucks too is I don't go out too much since I work until 11pm and my friends are already in relationships. I meet zero women.

It blows.

[CruelCircus]

If it makes you feel any better Rich, I have no "game" either.

And it sucks right now, b/c I find myself single yet again. I get all the "you're smart and funny and single and have a job and a house" advice from my friends, but it doesn't seem to help at all. I don't think smart, funny, job, & house is as attractive as my friends think it is! Plus, I can't get past the conviction that anything that comes out of my mouth is going to bore the crap out of the girl I'm talking to.

Even with all that, though, I've had some pretty great relationships over the years. Eventually the circumstances work out in your favor, even if it's really frustrating being single sometimes.

[A.J.]

I have no game AND I'm a Mod on a messageboard. If that doesn't scream "chick magnet" I don't know what does.

I wish I still played in a band. Even I got laid a time or two back then. So see? There's hope for you after all!

[LordJezo]

Do you owe her half of everything and alimony now that you got divorced?

Stuff like that is what scares me.

[JerseyRich]

Do you owe her half of everything and alimony now that you got divorced?

Stuff like that is what scares me.

Dude.
We were married for 6 months before I left.

[JustJon]

Maybe you can study the words of Mystery on VH1's The Pick Up Artist.

[JerseyRich]

Maybe you can study the words of Mystery on VH1's The Pick Up Artist.


I cannot take advice from a guy that wears nail polish.
I want nothing to do with that giant FREAK!

[King Hippos Bandaid]

Buck Up and Act like a Man

Become an Arrogant Front Man

and Bang some female fans while you look to find your someone

If I had any talent, I would have used that to score with chicks in the past


:king:

[Justice4all]

Maybe you can study the words of Mystery on VH1's The Pick Up Artist.

What words were those?
"Nobody will ever get laid with a name like Spoon?" (as was said in the very first episode)


Ohhhh...this is about Rich.


Hey Rich, how can a very intelligent, kind and overall good guy claim to have NO game?

Sheeeeet bro, you got more game going on then most of us here! (even the married ones)

And TallJames said it really best....friends you trust sir...friends you trust!

[Friday]

you're in a band. just be super confident. chicks will fawn over your talents.

and go out more!! your single pals never see you!! :p

[newport king]

http://artfiles.art.com/images/-/Swingers-Poster-C12205816.jpeg

dude you're so fucking money and you don't even know it.

i was like you. still can be on occasion. been with the same chick since 1994. and i'm only 29. so i had zero game to speak of. i'd never do anything but a guy can talk with a chick and feel good about himself that he's still got it, so here's the thing. a woman loves confidence.

good opener is
"hey i'm rich, whats your name?" (shaking hands)
"oh my god, what a pretty name!" So you here with friends?(watch for the boyfriend/fiance/husband)"
"mind if i buy you a drink?"
(during drink) "So what do you do?" etc...

look interested, DO NOT glance down at her tits, there's plenty of time for that later. it's that easy. be playful, confident, not over confident. flirty but not creepy. and at least ACT interested in what she's saying.

if at any point you get uncomfortable or run out of shit to say, tell her you gotta get back and work on the next set list cause your lead singer is a bit of a prima donna. ask for her number and be gone. wait at least 3 days and then call.

Don't fear rejection. Whats the worst thing that could happen? Says she's not interested? Fuck her. Someone, somewhere at sometime in her life will be tired of her ass just be glad it isnt going to be you.

Go on a few practice runs with some average girls, and work your way up. i've found that you may actually have more success with a very hot chick you think is WAY out of your league...why you ask?? because EVERY other guy in the place is scared shitless to talk to her.

GODSPEED my man, and best of luck to you.

[topless_mike]

here's the difference, rich.
your not a singer, or guitar player.
look at all the chicks that gvac gets.
why? he plays guitar.

as a fellow bass player, we are used to being thrust into the shadows.

in all seriousnessnessness, what i found to work is to have a sharp attitude. for some reason, gals out there like a smart-ass; someone that will be a challenge.

its a fine, tricky line between smart ass/sexy confidence and asshole.

whats the worst they can say? no ? whats the worst that could happen? fellow bandmate point and laugh?

just fuck it (from behind) and go for it, man.

[JerseyRich]

you're in a band. just be super confident. chicks will fawn over your talents.

and go out more!! your single pals never see you!! :p

I'm out baby! I'm out! Wait, that sounded bad.

I mean. When are you free to be my wingman?

hehe.

[CofyCrakCocaine]

You have to act like you don't give a shit. "Act" being the key word there. You're an entertainer, putting on a show for people. Practice the JerseyRichAsSteveMcQueen Show to chicks. Keep the eye contact (takes practice to master how long u should keep the contact without looking shy or creepy), don't shy away all the time. Apologizing gets you nowhere, so why the fuck apologize for being relaxed, yourself, and attracted to some chick? Bottom line, you have to work on not giving a shit. Acting is fine, but the closer to not really giving a shit anymore, the better off you are. The less you give a shit, the less inhibited you are. The more free you are, the easier it is. Shit don't work out? Fuck it. Shit works out? Fuck it (and her in a good good way).

If you have trouble with keeping yourself from giving a shit or even putting on a convincing performance that you don't care, then try staying awake for 30 or so hours. Works wonders for making me not give a shit for shit's sake.

[The Blowhard]

You are all indeed a bunch of wise mutha fuckas.

Yeah, right. Let's face it pal, you're a dullard, and most of these people on the board consider freeze framing their anime dvd's and spanking the same as getting laid.
But seriously Dicky, I'm with Tenbats with this "game" stuff(hell has frozen over!).
It's fratboy/ghetto/whatever talk, and eventually, when you least expect it, love will hit you like a baseball bat to the head. You have many talents, and don't worry about meeting your next wife. Instead, just meet someone who shares your interests, and as for not having the ability to speak well to strange women, fuck it. The worst they can say is no, so end this pity party and break the cycle of misery. As someone once said: "love is friendship caught on fire". Go out and make friends. With vaginas.

[JerseyRich]

I have yet to meet a vagina I didn't like. I guess I should be considered lucky.

[JustJon]

Yeah, right. Let's face it pal, you're a dullard, and most of these people on the board consider freeze framing their anime dvd's and spanking the same as getting laid.
But seriously Dicky, I'm with Tenbats with this "game" stuff(hell has frozen over!).
It's fratboy/ghetto/whatever talk, and eventually, when you least expect it, love will hit you like a baseball bat to the head. You have many talents, and don't worry about meeting your next wife. Instead, just meet someone who shares your interests, and as for not having the ability to speak well to strange women, fuck it. The worst they can say is no, so end this pity party and break the cycle of misery. As someone once said: "love is friendship caught on fire". Go out and make friends. With vaginas.

I can speed up the process by just hitting him over the head with a baseball bat.

[Freitag]

I have yet to meet a vagina I didn't like. I guess I should be considered lucky.

Mooch?

[reillyluck]

Mooch?

in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1........

[Freitag]

Heckler and I agree, and I'm finding Rich a date. We truly have come a long way since 2002.

[Freitag]

in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1........

I apologize, I'm still annoyed.

[The Blowhard]

I can speed up the process by just hitting him over the head with a baseball bat.


The post of the year. Aluminum or wood?

[The Blowhard]

Heckler and I agree, and I'm finding Rich a date. We truly have come a long way since 2002.


Heckler? I thought he went off to Norway to club baby seals.

[Kris10]

LOL Rich I'll be your date when we hang out with Justice.

[JerseyRich]

LOL Rich I'll be your date when we hang out with Justice.

I don't do the married lady dating...

But you will still have to sit in the front seat and earn your ride.
:devil2:

[Thebazile78]

Heckler? I thought he went off to Norway to club baby seals.


Mmmmmmm.... baby seals ......

[JustJon]

Heckler? I thought he went off to Norway to club baby seals.

Is he pining the fjords?

[Gmann]

Rich, I once got hit on by girls helping my friend carry his guitar and monitor to his van. They thought I was IN THE BAND!!!
"Oh my god....you guys were so good....when do you play here again? blah blah blah"
We were both looking at them like "did you even watch the show?" "Did you see me onstage?"

My advice....if you go out looking and expecting it....it isn't gonna happen.The band thing is your Golden Ticket. They'll come a runnin' to ya!

[Kris10]

I don't do the married lady dating...


:down:

[The Blowhard]

Is he pining the fjords?

Yep. And he's eating a lot of cheese, especially gouda.

[LordJezo]

Dude.
We were married for 6 months before I left.

Yeah, but that is the part that scares me, can't she sue and demand everything you own and all that other crap that women do?

[Justice4all]

Yeah, but that is the part that scares me, can't she sue and demand everything you own and all that other crap that women do?

LJ...were you aware that she cheated on him?? And he was very devoted to her?

[LordJezo]

LJ...were you aware that she cheated on him?? And he was very devoted to her?

Yeah but do divorce courts care about that sort of thing? When they have those "call in and tell us your divorce horror stories" people are always saying how they were devoted to their wives, gave them everything, and then when the chick cheated on him and left him for another dude the woman got everything and the guy had to pay the mortgage on the house so she could live there and bang the new dude.

[JerseyRich]

Yeah but do divorce courts care about that sort of thing? When they have those "call in and tell us your divorce horror stories" people are always saying how they were devoted to their wives, gave them everything, and then when the chick cheated on him and left him for another dude the woman got everything and the guy had to pay the mortgage on the house so she could live there and bang the new dude.

That would only happen if the affair wasn't part of the court settlement. There is not a judge on the earth that would give a woman alimony and half of the property if she cheated and it was proven in court that she cheated.

Just doesn't happen like that.

Plus. When you get divorced, and you are only married for a short time, the parties are only entitled to what was earned during the marriage...

We wanted a quick and easy divorce, so nothing of the indiscretion was brought up at the hearing or in any of the papers. I would have had to prove that they had "intercourse" while I was still living with her. Impossible.
The NJ law is very specific about the sex part. You actually have to prove that intercourse happened...Not just a blow job...or hanging out...or kissing...Actual sex.

Strange. But true.

How did this happen? Lord Jezo...damn you!

Ok...I need a date.

[LordJezo]

That would only happen if the affair wasn't part of the court settlement. There is not a judge on the earth that would give a woman alimony and half of the property if she cheated and it was proven in court that she cheated.


The NJ law is very specific about the sex part. You actually have to prove that intercourse happened...Not just a blow job...or hanging out...or kissing...Actual sex.


Oof. So unless you can prove that she had sex in court she could just show up crying, blame everything on you, say you hurt her mentally, and say she wants her fair share even though you know it happened and she was banging another guy? Her word against yours? That's the worst!