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Kathleen From The Bronx
09-23-2007, 08:00 PM
Dear Ron and Fez Shooow,

On Friday's show you guys talked about so much that was funny, so much that was interesting to me.... I know, as usual...as usual...... but I gotta tell yez, the discussion that that hit me so hard, that I've been preoccupied with it now for days... was based off a question that Ronnie posed. If given the opportunity, would you choose just one moment of brilliance, or a lifetime of consistent successful mediocrity? As Ronnie B. put it, would ya rather be, "A king for a day or a schmuck for a lifetime...not knowin shit from Shinola..."

I loved that question because I've thought about it so much before in the past...not exactly in those words, of course..... but I want the one moment..... I know that I would choose the one occasion of pure brilliance over lifelong, "ehhh pretty decent....OK over all.." I feel certain that I would... I want a moment of genius, COME ON already!!! Ohhh. I'm also fuckin impatient...Sorry for the outburst....I'd love and appreciate it even if it was just a lightning flash that wouldn't last.... a one time deal..... I'm tellin you.....

See, I've already done the mediocre route to death...... If you rewound the movie of my life to any point... saaaay, "the school years," for instance....you are not gonna find some nun tellin my moms, "That daughter of yours is a prodigy!" I'm pretty sure the words you'd hear would be along the lines...some variety of, "underachiever." You know, if I wanna look at that interval in time with some kinda silver-lining revisionism, I suppose I could consider, "Well that's nice of them, they thought I had the potential to do better," but man... whatever wit that.... cause I just remember thinking that they just had nooo idea how much I fuckin hated that all that shit.....fuckin algebra II- trig! "They're lucky I'm doin even that much," I'd say to myself..... Awww...lookatcha lil bad-attitude-face!

Well, that's just ramblin there.. that's not really the point....Ehh, don't want to give the total wrong impression here, I've worked hard at things in my life when they've been very important to me..... OK here's what I'm sayin......

Ron spoke about Harper Lee's, To Kill a Mockingbird.... how after he read it as a kid, he felt changed...."The world felt different to me after reading this book," and then continuing on he demonstrated the shift in outlook...the change, realizing... "Maybe I have greatness in me....and even if not I can recognize greatness....feels like your no longer sleepwalking.... and.... you'll find other people who are alive...you'll find other people who are awake..." I mean, that explanation right there was just beautiful to me... It makes a whole lot of sense too when I think of it.....

I've had such experiences through books and music and art and so many other people's strokes of genius that have literally changed my perspective... A work like that for me personally was Kesey's, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest...... I read that in High School and felt like, "THIS is something, this is great..." I can't describe it much differently so I will simply echo that I felt changed...I just loved it... and as much as I loved it and felt moved that way... I STILL managed to write one real, sub-par, half-assed paper on it for class..... Man..... Well anyway... Someone brought up John Kennedy Toole's, A Confederacy of Dunces (another in the singular moment of brilliance type vein); this was another book that just blew me away....and to quote Ignatius Reilly, it changed, "my worldview." I'm just gonna say it real quick so nobody gets all weirded out, but gettin into The Ron and Fez Show years ago did it for me tooo....Diggin it and listenin to the greatness and funniness, I was changed..... Just sayin! And do not think for a second like this is ass-kissin...You can squash that thought right now... I mean, why else do you think I'd be writing yez these never-ending emails for so long now??? Wise up, will yeh??!!

(Sidenote, I realize I am no good at tellin people the nice stuff I think of em, it always comes off a.. umm.. little defensive....like I'm yelling....or vaguely threatening.... hmmmm...not brilliant...)

So after that conversation on Friday afternoon, I just kept thinking about it....I would absolutely choose one intense stroke of brilliant creativity over a lifetime of doin aiight... I imagine that to have that fleeting stage, no matter how temporary, would have to be so fantastic and gratifying... even to KNOW that you had and you could never keep it forever... Though personally it would not last, what if that one time deal could reverberate in some way like as in the way that Ronnie brought it up....having been changed....

I believe it might be one of the best, strongest sensations in the world, to perhaps spark a similar moment for others.... What if something you did, thought or created, if only once, could cause such a reaction in others? Dig is what..... I think of this story I heard in an interview once.... I can't remember the quote exactly..... so I'll intentionally keep it all cloudy....

Once in this interview that I watched, a songwriter from a band that I loved spoke of one night in London... He was just sittin around drinking bottles of wine... suddenly ideas flooded over him like never before and he wrote on anything he could grab....scrawling on scraps of paper, tablecloths, napkins.....He furiously wrote and the products were some of the most loved songs in this band's history...all in one night.. He said that he'd never had a night so prolific...and, "I'll never have one like that again.." Now a comment like that may seem tinged with sadness, "I'll never have that again," but at least he knew that he had it one time, and that the songs he wrote, there in particular, have touched peoples' lives in such a way that they may have altered their very direction and path.....like say...maybe those words resonated so loudly that people up and decided to follow a band around for twenty years.... Maybe if he knows that people feel as one of my friends once said, " those songs are prayers and ones that gives me more comfort than most I have heard in a church..." and possibly that sentiment would make that one moment in time even more perfect....

It just occurs to me now as I'm straggling along here.... that if a song was to be an allegory for life...... The song could be good but nothing spectacular until one perfect, brilliant line..... and that one brilliant lyric could transform the entire song....... It would be worth it.

I would choose the moment of brilliance even if no one ever noticed it but me...... though I couldn't guarantee that I would not explode in some dance hall like Barton Fink did after completing his great work and some sailor wanted to cut in with the dame his was dancing with... I couldn't guarantee that I wouldn't erupt like Fink with, "I'm a writer celebrating the completion of something good!!! Do you understand that, sailor????!! .......I'm a writer, you monsters!!! I CREATE!!! I create for a living!!! I create! I'm a creator! I am a creator!!!!" You can rest assured that I still might sputter, bewildered in my boss' office, "I... I tried to show you.... something beautiful......Something about all of us..... I......" You know? Yeah... Even after any moment of deep inspiration I'm pretty sure that I'll still be prone to over-emotional conniptions.... I'll still pray for the flash of genius though...Maybe I gots more to offer than me typical drunken late-night rants..... I HOPE! Maybe I could stop bringin up John Turturro roles for five freakin minutes....

Speaking of prayer and church and the like.... I didn't see Survivor China the other night that you guys talked about...Yes were sayin that upon arrival at an ancient Buddhist temple, the Survivors took part in some kind of traditional welcome ceremony. One of the Surviviors, a Christian radio talk show host, ran out of the ceremony and was crying because of it...something like, "I’m a believer in Jesus Christ and in the Bible it said thou shall not bow down to any other god!" She felt that bowing repeatedly in front of the Buddha was too much like an act of worship for her..... This sparked your discussion on if yez would take part in the ceremonies of religions that were not your own......... Yeah, I would... I have no problem with that... One reason might be that I don't' go to church anymore anyway.... but besides that...... I was raised Catholic and I know that my grandmother said that we definitely were not supposed to set foot in any other.... At this point I've visited all kinds of churches and synagogues and temples.....but the first time that I did set foot in another denomination's church wasn't until I was fifteen and went to the funeral of my friend's father at a Presbyterian church all the way downtown.... I did have a faint sense that I wasn't supposed to be goin in there, just due to what grandma used to say........but I didn't feel like I'd be struck by a bolt of lightning or anything..... What really struck me in fact, was that their Presbyterian pews had lil doors on each entrance into em... and the seats has red velvety cushions on them as well! Comfortable, cozy! So different than what I was used to.....

I know that I have mentioned in the past that the church my family attended around the corner from our building was built as a replica of the boat that St. Brendan the navigator sailed in to Tir Na Nog, or to America before Columbus as some people claim...or whatever ....ya know....cept it was built outta bricks like a building, of course..... The pews and the kneelers in that church were as comfortable too as whatever hard, wooden planks people sat on in the galleys....So that was one thing... They didn't have statues of saints either, or a giant Jesus nailed to the cross over the alter.....

Ohhh it just occurs to me now that I could write a song about it all with lyrics like, "We prayed to God in a ship built from bricks," and maybe people would be like... "OOooh what does that mean??? Is that some kind of allusion that we were all sinking into despair???" not knowing that it's quite literal.... Yuck! Ew... I just smacked my own self for that....What a stupid song... I have the fuckin song-writin abilities of that doofus Dane Cook... Not brilliant!!! Not brilliant!! That reminds me....I'm not one to issue formal complaints to yez.... but PLEASE! Please stop playing his song...... I had retarded parts that you played in my head for a day..... and it was just sickening..... Please..... no more... no mas...... Oh man, but I'm digressing..... one of my top sins....

Hard Rock Johnny called in about that Survivor China episode, and said that on top of showing the Christian radio host freaking out, they infused her reaction with trippy shots, zeroing in on the faces of the golden idols of Buddha..... Ronnie said that it's not as though you couldn't portray a Catholic church with the very same trippyness....with all the statues and the stations of the cross on the church walls.... He said he remembered as a kid lookin up at the stations, "They really beat the hell outta that man!!! ....It was like a comic book!" Yeah man.... fourteen panels depicting heartbreaking scenes.....

Yeah, that's why when we'd have to say the rosary in school it always seemed better to recite the prayers to the, "joyful mysteries," than to the, "sorrowful mysteries," shown on the stations of the cross..... When I was a kid, I remember being pretty young and staring at the statues to see if they'd move a little.... One time the statue of St. Joseph was on the left side of the church instead of the right.... and though clearly it had just been rearranged, I couldn't help wondering if in the middle of the night, when no one was around maybe they had gotten up and moved... Who knows what they got into in the night with all the doors locked.... Maybe all those statues of saints got together and sat down for once in those hard pews and talked about how long the priest had gone on that day in his homily, or maybe they talked about who had shown up, like that lady that started yelling out her prayers to God after communion when you're supposed to be quietly reflecting.... Ushers had to go over to her and ask her to settle down...... Yeah.... those were dumb thoughts but I had em.... It reminds me how Ron brought up that he digs Buddhism, but couldn't get into the silent meditation, "I can't sit that long keeping thoughts to myself....I'm the only one in the meditation who's speaking out, 'Hey! you know what I fuckin HATE??!" That made me laugh.... Yeah... you and that lady that all the statues were talking about that night in the church...

Anyway, somebody called up during that topic and said that there's a Christian preacher who says that Christians should not practice yoga because it would open you up too much to Hinduism... Ron responded that maybe that's the religion for him that stresses not exercising.... "How about sit-ups?!! How do you know Satan won't jump up your ass as you're doin a sit-up!??" Well..... that's enough for me to keep on not doin sit-ups...... I mean, you people have seen that devil, all wit the horns and the pitchfork and everything?? Yeah... No thank you.

Again, I say I have digressed.... To me, I see no reason to not find out about the faiths of others.... You could be anywhere, just checkin shit out.... if you are open maybe that's when some revelation will strike.... Yes... callin back to that conversation.......

Another conversation that I really enjoyed was when everyone was talkin bout jury duty....I've never been called... but I was wondering if that was due to the fact that I neglected to report that I'd moved for about two years..... Sooooo.... yikes.... Anyway, I don't wanna..... and I kept a mental note of what Ron suggested that Pepper Hicks should do....which was to wear a t-shirt down to the courthouse that read, "Hung Jury." "Not...a...bad...plan," I jotted down..... Outta that exchange Ron admitted that when he goes down to the courthouse, the problem with him is that he wants to immediately be a judge or a lawyer..... Ron said that it's his dream to be an expert on everything, to instantly be able to do any job....He stated that he has the same problem when he visits a friend at the hospital, he feels like he could easily be a doctor....."Let me go over these charts....I'm going to order more tests..." Pepper Hicks brought up the schooling alone is too much to be a doctor.. Ron said, "See no, I couldn't complete a course, I cannot be judged." That got me thinking....That sounds like the makings of a sitcom....

What if Ron had this innovative new series based on a Judge who refused to be judged....and he wouldn't judge anyone himself..... Most trials would end with advice like, "It don't make you a bad person." Ooooh but it would probably get all fucked up and diluted by the mediocrity of the mainstream media...... They'd water it down and insist on wigs and funny glasses.... like what happened to Andy Millman on Extras with the show he created that was sposed to be like The Office..... Ron would have to storm off the set screaming, "WHAT is this dog shit!!!?? This is not how I wrote it!!!" The brilliance of it all would be crushed......

Oh shit... this doesn't even make sense.... and yet I type, and type...Board Gossip was back this Friday....Paul- O's one-word movie reviews on Friday's show were somethin new..... It occurred to me as I rambled here, that a one word message to yez might be nice, might spare you a lot of readin...... but I didn't think that I could really convey just how into it all I was.... by just sayin, "Dug." Ahhh jeeez..... Now I'll stop typing, well right after this..... Have a good week everybody....

Signed,

kathleen from the bronx :):):)

drjoek
09-23-2007, 08:14 PM
Of Course you won't mention it but I will. During the show Ronnie B spoke words of truth when he spoke to ESD about liking Dave Barry. He said that this blog that you write so well was better than anything he has ever written. I couldn't say it any better Thanks for this every time.:thumbup:
:smile:

drusilla
09-23-2007, 09:08 PM
Anyway, somebody called up during that topic and said that there's a Christian preacher who says that Christians should not practice yoga because it would open you up too much to Hinduism... Ron responded that maybe that's the religion for him that stresses not exercising.... "How about sit-ups?!! How do you know Satan won't jump up your ass as you're doin a sit-up!??" Well..... that's enough for me to keep on not doin sit-ups...... I mean, you people have seen that devil, all wit the horns and the pitchfork and everything?? Yeah... No thank you.




try explaining that in the er













:tongue: (stolen from kftb herself in IM)

rexdart
09-23-2007, 11:17 PM
(Sidenote, I realize I am no good at tellin people the nice stuff I think of em, it always comes off a.. umm.. little defensive....like I'm yelling....or vaguely threatening.... hmmmm...not brilliant...)

Stalker KFTB has a nice ring to it. Wild eyed attempts at compliments that scare the peasants (the suburban wage slaves or corporate serfs) milling about her suburban starbucks and grocery store. Is it her wild eyes or the angry gypsy costume?

Maybe its the message, rather than the messenger that scares em? I know when I try to give compliments they tend to go awry. I once told a woman in Walmart that I thought she had a nice pair of tits. She had asked me where the motor oil was located. I'm just a clumsy oaf.

May I suggest asking Kung Fu Jesus for guidance? What would Kung Fu Jesus do? Would he demand that you pray inside a boat built from bricks? Or would he bitchslap you with the gospel?

I wish I could sleep. I was starting to drift off when the dog decided to try and bite his own asshole out of his ass. The little shit is hiding under the bed now. He growls at me when i ask him to come out. Kung Fu Jesus is telling me that I could shoot him and get some sleep, but the .45 makes an awful lot of noise.

its 2am and i have to arise at 5am. I wonder if i could smother myself with a pillow.

carsonogin
09-24-2007, 08:32 AM
This is hard to find?

drusilla
09-24-2007, 08:45 AM
i'm guessing its annoying because you have to make like 3 different double clicks. from the main picture page, then the main page, then you have to click on message board, then get here. i dunno. i have the message board itself bookmarked so i can avoid the first two double clicks.

watson
09-24-2007, 09:50 AM
rexdart got PWNED by Feztonio

JustJon
09-24-2007, 09:58 AM
i'm guessing its annoying because you have to make like 3 different double clicks. from the main picture page, then the main page, then you have to click on message board, then get here. i dunno. i have the message board itself bookmarked so i can avoid the first two double clicks.

http://www.ronfez.net/images/DearRandF.gif

On the left side of every page.

drusilla
09-24-2007, 12:13 PM
see i just go right to the forums. easy peasy.

drusilla
09-24-2007, 12:29 PM
ps... the link is too far down on the page. i'd never see it if i needed to.

:tongue:

moochcassidy
09-24-2007, 04:12 PM
can a mod sticky the newest blog each day?..they get lost as people comment to older ones.

theres a decent sized gap between fluffs cartoon and the banner ad at the top. dunno if thats for something else but why not make the link more visible?

rexdart
09-24-2007, 04:32 PM
should the path to wisdom be well marked with neon signs and glittery arrows and carnival barkers?

A true fan will find his way to this enlightenment when they are ready. The journey should neither be too easy nor too hard.

I found my way here, so how hard could it be?

Unless of course the complainers are just comfort junkies. the kind of person who stares at the microwave and grumbles, "cmon already" and then grumbles some more because its too hot. Minute rice just takes too damn long. Your drive thru coffee has burned my vagina.

Never good enough is it?

Maybe they should just hire someone to get them here. Like oversized toddlers, better hold their hand because they might hurt themselves clicking over the information superhighway. or god forbid they get lost along the way and find something else to amuse. danger will robinson, danger. Don't go near the Brazillian fart porn. No tummy sticks for you.

IamPixie
09-24-2007, 04:35 PM
should the path to wisdom be well marked with neon signs and glittery arrows and carnival barkers?

A true fan will find his way to this enlightenment when they are ready. The journey should neither be too easy nor too hard.

I found my way here, so how hard could it be?

Unless of course the complainers are just comfort junkies. the kind of person who stares at the microwave and grumbles, "cmon already" and then grumbles some more because its too hot. Minute rice just takes too damn long. Your drive thru coffee has burned my vagina.

Never good enough is it?

Maybe they should just hire someone to get them here. Like oversized toddlers, better hold their hand because they might hurt themselves clicking over the information superhighway. or god forbid they get lost along the way and find something else to amuse. danger will robinson, danger. Don't go near the Brazillian fart porn. No tummy sticks for you.

You didn't happen to listen to todays show, did you?

DolaMight
09-24-2007, 04:42 PM
You didn't happen to listen to todays show, did you?

Sure he did, remember when they talked about Brazilian fart porn. Nice reference.

PS - Fantastic work as always Kathleen, it's so good I feel like I should have to pay for it.

IamPixie
09-24-2007, 04:44 PM
Sure he did, remember when they talked about Brazilian fart porn. Nice reference.



isn't that an O & A reference?

rexdart
09-24-2007, 05:12 PM
I confess that I did listen to most of todays shows. I am one of those uber fans that Black Earl thinks should get a life. But I have no life, only the joy that my XM brings and the occasional post to a message board.

I long for the relief that death will bring.

IamPixie
09-24-2007, 05:12 PM
I confess that I did listen to most of todays shows. I am one of those uber fans that Black Earl thinks should get a life. But I have no life, only the joy that my XM brings and the occasional post to a message board.

I long for the relief that death will bring.

Did you happen to catch fez ripping you a new asshole?

Marc with a c
09-24-2007, 05:13 PM
Did you happen to catch fez ripping you a new asshole?

yikes, i would hope so.

rexdart
09-24-2007, 05:21 PM
Nope, I missed that. HAHAHAHA I was elbow deep into the electric spaghetti inside a parking garage's gate arms this morning and only caught a little bit of the RnF show.

Wow, Fezzie must be slumming if he's gonna stoop down low enough to kick me around. I'm hardly worth scraping off one's shoe. I am just another stupid hayseed from texas, completely devoid of any intelectual capacity.

Theyve got my phone number if they feel like shitting on me over the phone.

IamPixie
09-24-2007, 05:24 PM
Nope, I missed that. HAHAHAHA I was elbow deep into the electric spaghetti inside a parking garage's gate arms this morning and only caught a little bit of the RnF show.



you should really have a listen.

rexdart
09-24-2007, 05:32 PM
you should really have a listen.

was it good? was it funny? was it the old "take no prisoners unless theyre cuban cabana boys" fezzy?

What peice of shit thing did I do this time?

J.Clints
09-24-2007, 05:51 PM
was it good? was it funny? was it the old "take no prisoners unless theyre cuban cabana boys" fezzy?

What peice of shit thing did I do this time?

Basically it was the no one cares what you have to say. Stop Ruining The Blog. But I am just summarizing it.

Chimee
09-24-2007, 06:23 PM
That sums it up well.

rexdart
09-24-2007, 06:51 PM
Basically it was the no one cares what you have to say. Stop Ruining The Blog. But I am just summarizing it.

Its nice to know that the freedom of expression in a public forum is so well thought of and so rigerously defended.

Ruined you say? So no one can read Kathlene's words anymore nor can they garner ANY enjoyment or wisdom from those words. So I ruined the blog. The words are smudged because I spilled my juice on the page?

Should I just stick to kissing ass like most of the other comments? I seem to have woken up in Mancow Country. Love You, Love the Show. You're right Mancow. You're always right Mancow.

Its safer inside that hipocracy isnt it. Happiness is a warm blanket of mediocraty. Never take any chances. Never express yourself. Fight free expression at every turn. Pretend it offends you. The mock outrage.

Maybe it is better to be a user than a contributer. It seems to be safer.

Chimee
09-24-2007, 06:57 PM
Yeah, this should definitely be locked after Kathleen posts.

rexdart
09-24-2007, 07:24 PM
Yeah, this should definitely be locked after Kathleen posts.

Maybe XM should terminate RnF's access to the outside world? no phones, no email. Who knows, I might call the show and ruin that too by participating or forwarding a comment.

the horror.

But wait! No one cares what I (or anyone else) say(s), so how could a comment that affects no one because it is so innocuous ruin the work of another?

drusilla
09-24-2007, 07:35 PM
Yeah, this should definitely be locked after Kathleen posts.

what if she likes the feedback? (most of it anyway)

Chimee
09-24-2007, 09:52 PM
It's great if she likes it, but Fez is right that what Rexdart does draws attention away from the blog, which is what this entire subforum is about. Even now, this entire discussion has turned away from what the blog was about and has turned to everything that Rexdart has posted.

carsonogin
09-25-2007, 05:27 AM
But wait! No one cares what I (or anyone else) say(s), so how could a comment that affects no one because it is so innocuous ruin the work of another?

What happened anyway did you say you didn't like the blog or something? You can not have a contray opinion on this message board or they will ban your IP and restrict your access for a few weeks.

rexdart
09-25-2007, 04:01 PM
What happened anyway did you say you didn't like the blog or something? You can not have a contray opinion on this message board or they will ban your IP and restrict your access for a few weeks.

The allegation is that anyone (but especially me) who comments beyond stating the obvious and kissing ass (this blog is wonderful) is ruining the blog. I thought we were here to enjoy funny and to build comedy pyramids one sentance at a time. my mistake. This must be Mancow Country where "Love you, love the show" is the only acceptable response.

Next comes the laff track so you know when its okay to laugh. Pavlov was a radio executive.

And for the record, I delight in both the blog and the show.

J.Clints
09-25-2007, 04:20 PM
Its nice to know that the freedom of expression in a public forum is so well thought of and so rigerously defended.

Ruined you say? So no one can read Kathlene's words anymore nor can they garner ANY enjoyment or wisdom from those words. So I ruined the blog. The words are smudged because I spilled my juice on the page?

Should I just stick to kissing ass like most of the other comments? I seem to have woken up in Mancow Country. Love You, Love the Show. You're right Mancow. You're always right Mancow.

Its safer inside that hipocracy isnt it. Happiness is a warm blanket of mediocraty. Never take any chances. Never express yourself. Fight free expression at every turn. Pretend it offends you. The mock outrage.

Maybe it is better to be a user than a contributer. It seems to be safer.

Hey maybe if you listened to the show you would know I was telling you what was said on the show. I dont care if you comment or not. Do your thing.