Kathleen From The Bronx
09-25-2007, 08:02 PM
Dear Ron and Fez Shooow,
Was diggin the show today..... Ooooh Ronnie B., what the hell else are you gettin into here??! I mean, 'sides the fact that you got two radio shows; you have that groundbreaking new book, and Ron Magazine....and we can't forget that you have that film treatment for, "Murder at the Superbowl," in the works too.....Ken From Portland reminded us of that one....He also suggested that Ronnie could make a motion picture as well from his Line of The Day book.... Ron seemed open to the idea, "Why would people want a linear story?? Why WOULDN'T people want to hear funny line after funny line!??!" Right-o!! ....AND NOW you're embarking onto a whole new adventure as a field reporter and, "expert-at-large," for The O&A Show.... Whew! What's next?!?
Well Ronnie B. told us, in fact, what was next..... He claimed that his next goal, his next dream to be achieved, is to reunite Billy Staples and Paul Bond.... Ron will work tirelessly to get Airsick back together! Man...! It seems like a long-shot as Billy didn't seem certain that he wanted in..... It'll be just like that VH1 show, Bands Reunited....
That show! I have spent waaay too much time watchin and wondering if certain bands will get back together on that program, so I had to laugh when Ron admitted, "As bad as that show is..I cannot turn it off!!" I know that feelin.... I cackled when he and dramatically reenacted his pleading, "C'mon Kajagoogoo....One more time! One more time!!!!" I know, right?! I would sit there watchin that whole spectacle, time after time... AS IF in real life I have ever, ever, given one rat's ass about Romeo Void....Romeo Void indeed...please!!.... or Berlin!!! I can assure, I've sat through that Berlin episode at leeeast twice... Did I not know how it was gonna turn out again?? Right, OoooK... They're, "riding on the Metro," again... Like, that's fantastic... I think sometimes I forget that the remote control exists.. That has to be the reason for all of this... Oooh anyway, I do hope that you are able to reunite Airsick! I like to see dreams come true...
And speakin of dreams, this reminds me! I thought that Fezzie brought up and interesting question today ..... He asked, "Does anything NORMAL ever happen in a dream??" Fezzie said that the thought occurred to him because the night before he dreamed that he was eating dinner with Joe Namath....cause that's wacky....
My query is this: Fezzie, was it the 70's-pantyhose-commercial- wearing-a-fur-coat-on-the-sidelines version of Namath that you dined with, or the from-a- few-years-ago creature who proclaimed to Suzy Kolber, "I waaannaa kiss yoooou.." Which one?!? Oooh I don't know why I care! Just lemme know!
I don't think I've ever had a normal dream where it all made perfect sense and the setting did not fluctuate from the current times to the past....Haven't had one where I didn't wander from some regular, recent hangout, to my old kitchen in the Bronx.... It's consistently craziness for me....Well, always... but in dreamland too... Brian told me that he's had normal dreams where he's sleeping and it's just zactly like some regular day at work..."Driving, driving, driving, go to a warehouse, talk to some teamsters.." and on and on... He's like, "That is the most unrelaxing shit ever!!! I'm asleep and STILL fuckin workin??!! Ridiculous!!" Yeah... that stinks. Like I said I don't believe I've ever had an ordinary, sensible dream..... I only have reeeeally stooopit ones or those filled with delusions of grandeur, I guess.... Wanna hear some??? Yeah, I know you've heard bout most of em before......Ehh?? I think I just heard you say, "YES!" Awww.. you guys are kind.... OK... well how bout these....
Here's one from the delusions of grandeur category, from a couple years back.... I will be discovered as simply perfect for a role in an upcoming Christopher guest film! It's bound to happen, I know it..... I'm glad it actually hasn't happened yet, cause I wouldn't have wanted to have been in that last effort, For Your Consideration.... Come on....
Anyway! So in this lil dream from years ago, I'm on the subway and I spot Christopher Guest. He is getting off the D train at the same stop as me...at the Broadway/ LaFayette station... In real life I'd never try to bother this cat, I'd just dig it that I had a sighting... Apparently in my dream I do whatever the hell I want, and I start telling him my grrreat idea, that he should do a mockumentary....or...rockumentary, based on the nutty people at Renaissance Festivals... Obviously this is a dream now, because Christopher Guest is juuust loving the idea and he tells me that he's filming in the city currently. What luck!!! He says in a kinda fancy-pants voice, "Why don't you come up tomorrow, I may just have a part for you!... (That's the BEST part of the dream)... Then immediately, as so many dreams get so scrambley, I'm instantly up at my old school on the Upper East Side, where quite coincidentally the latest project just happens to be filming! Catherine O'Hara is wearing curlers, drinking champagne and eating Doritos with Parker Posey (who was sooo, sooo tiny and on a cell phone) and Bob Balaban...Then Christopher Guest appears again and tells me to come back at "7:30-SHARP!" the next morning cause he has a few lines for me... Dudes, in this dream I was SOOOO excited! I couldn't believe it!
Then the dream turned into one of those joints where I couldn't get to where i was going in time, which was awful cause I was racing to get back to my new buddy Chris Guest and his crew... I finally, finally arrive, feeling all late and ashamed... They are cool about it, however .... Soon it was time for me to deliver my lines... They wereas follows: "We will never let this legislation pass, NEVER!!!" Later on in the story I lean over to some random, faceless waiter in the film and utterly convincingly act, "Well sir, I am simply dazzled by your uses of puff pastry, but I'll have to say no....this time." Yeah....That was some crazy shit. I was really pissed and disappointed when I woke up.... I was like, "You tellin me, I'm NOT in this movie???" Yech..... What a drag..... Who writes dialog about puff-pastry??
More delusions?? OK....I can't tell you how many times I've befriended Anthony Bourdain in a dream... One time he sat at a table in this cramped restaurant where I was waitressing. He had in front of him fourteen cigarettes... He told me, "After this I'm quitting," and then we went out to smoke....and he didn't care that I was making fun of him for always wearing army jackets with the arms cut off when he's traveling in Southeast Asia.... "Come on Tony, what's that 'Nam look man?" He was cool about it.... That was pretty great, until I woke up and realized it had not happened... One time I ran into that Bourdain up at Bear Mountain State Park in the rain and he was wearing a long leather coat.... So weeeeird! Another time, in a separate dream, I was having a conversation with him and Corazon Aquino, the former president of the Philippines...... She was telling us about how she always had to have body-doubles in public, all wearing yellow dresses just like she would....... I think that one happened cause I fell asleep with the History Channel on or something though... Just to be clear, I'm supposin that there was something about Corazon Aquino on TV that night.... Tony Bourdain just showed up again and was smoking a lot.....but anyway, OH Corazon Aquino, what are YOU doin here??!! It makes no damn sense......
OK, I'll shut up about this soon.... but real, real quick lemme just retell probably the most idiotic dream that I have ever experienced....Oh if only I could blame the TV being on for this! I slept and had visions of this garbage dancing in my head....This dream could really have nearly destroyed my self esteem..... This one is the worst and I can't blame the tube, because on this night I slept in silence......
In my snoozing, I found myself amid the hustle and bustle of a busy news room....Everyone was dressed 40's style for some reason; the room was lit in sepia tones.... Frantic reporters were typing feverishly on their clunky old typewriters, rushing for deadlines...Papers were flying everywhere!! I'm sitting at my humble desk watching the activity surrounding me, when without warning.....Music!
Music erupts and there is dancing in the aisles of the office... Everyone bursts into song, not unlike a Broadway chorus they all start to belt out, "Gotta get the news...Gotta get the news! Gotta get the news.... Gotta get the news!" They sickeningly sung those lines, all the while doing some kinda, chuggin' like a locomotive dance!!!
Wow, when I woke up I was disgusted..... I just felt like, "What the HELL was that???? Where did that come from?!" I was bewildered and embarrassed.... ashamed, even! What kinda sick, stooopit shit.....??? What the sort of person.....? Needless to say, my self esteem took quite a blow... Did not feel too good about the ole girl that day...Why would such an annoying scene take place in my mind??? EW!!!!! All I could do was shake my head and say, "Get it together brain." Actually I think I would quite cherish a, "normal dream," any day over that..... A normal dream where I wake up and wander around and eat leftovers and listen to the radio where they're talkin about dreams.... AHHHHHHHHH! Trippy.... or not... Whatever the hell... :0) Well, sorry to go on and on about that.... Apologies fer making you re-live the ridiculousness!!
I was also thinkin about this topic that came up from today.... You guys asked if anyone among yez would allow their children to take part in the TV show, Kid Nation.... I considered this question too.....I decided that I would... I would permit my kiddies, whenever they show up, to go about in similar circumstances whether that program still exists or not..... In fact, I don't see Kid Nation still being around at that point in the future.... There needn't be a show! It will not stop me from abandoning my children in a ghost town equipped with only their young motivations and a video camera..... I foresee that there will be lots of crying and tumbling tumbleweed.... The events that will be captured on film will be seen as quite cutting-edge! Yeah... I don't necessarily need to suffer for my art, I'll let other little people do that for me! Yes...yes... we all have our dreams...
Anyway, I better let you guys go.... Goodnight, goodnight....
Signed,
kathleen from the bronx :):):)
Was diggin the show today..... Ooooh Ronnie B., what the hell else are you gettin into here??! I mean, 'sides the fact that you got two radio shows; you have that groundbreaking new book, and Ron Magazine....and we can't forget that you have that film treatment for, "Murder at the Superbowl," in the works too.....Ken From Portland reminded us of that one....He also suggested that Ronnie could make a motion picture as well from his Line of The Day book.... Ron seemed open to the idea, "Why would people want a linear story?? Why WOULDN'T people want to hear funny line after funny line!??!" Right-o!! ....AND NOW you're embarking onto a whole new adventure as a field reporter and, "expert-at-large," for The O&A Show.... Whew! What's next?!?
Well Ronnie B. told us, in fact, what was next..... He claimed that his next goal, his next dream to be achieved, is to reunite Billy Staples and Paul Bond.... Ron will work tirelessly to get Airsick back together! Man...! It seems like a long-shot as Billy didn't seem certain that he wanted in..... It'll be just like that VH1 show, Bands Reunited....
That show! I have spent waaay too much time watchin and wondering if certain bands will get back together on that program, so I had to laugh when Ron admitted, "As bad as that show is..I cannot turn it off!!" I know that feelin.... I cackled when he and dramatically reenacted his pleading, "C'mon Kajagoogoo....One more time! One more time!!!!" I know, right?! I would sit there watchin that whole spectacle, time after time... AS IF in real life I have ever, ever, given one rat's ass about Romeo Void....Romeo Void indeed...please!!.... or Berlin!!! I can assure, I've sat through that Berlin episode at leeeast twice... Did I not know how it was gonna turn out again?? Right, OoooK... They're, "riding on the Metro," again... Like, that's fantastic... I think sometimes I forget that the remote control exists.. That has to be the reason for all of this... Oooh anyway, I do hope that you are able to reunite Airsick! I like to see dreams come true...
And speakin of dreams, this reminds me! I thought that Fezzie brought up and interesting question today ..... He asked, "Does anything NORMAL ever happen in a dream??" Fezzie said that the thought occurred to him because the night before he dreamed that he was eating dinner with Joe Namath....cause that's wacky....
My query is this: Fezzie, was it the 70's-pantyhose-commercial- wearing-a-fur-coat-on-the-sidelines version of Namath that you dined with, or the from-a- few-years-ago creature who proclaimed to Suzy Kolber, "I waaannaa kiss yoooou.." Which one?!? Oooh I don't know why I care! Just lemme know!
I don't think I've ever had a normal dream where it all made perfect sense and the setting did not fluctuate from the current times to the past....Haven't had one where I didn't wander from some regular, recent hangout, to my old kitchen in the Bronx.... It's consistently craziness for me....Well, always... but in dreamland too... Brian told me that he's had normal dreams where he's sleeping and it's just zactly like some regular day at work..."Driving, driving, driving, go to a warehouse, talk to some teamsters.." and on and on... He's like, "That is the most unrelaxing shit ever!!! I'm asleep and STILL fuckin workin??!! Ridiculous!!" Yeah... that stinks. Like I said I don't believe I've ever had an ordinary, sensible dream..... I only have reeeeally stooopit ones or those filled with delusions of grandeur, I guess.... Wanna hear some??? Yeah, I know you've heard bout most of em before......Ehh?? I think I just heard you say, "YES!" Awww.. you guys are kind.... OK... well how bout these....
Here's one from the delusions of grandeur category, from a couple years back.... I will be discovered as simply perfect for a role in an upcoming Christopher guest film! It's bound to happen, I know it..... I'm glad it actually hasn't happened yet, cause I wouldn't have wanted to have been in that last effort, For Your Consideration.... Come on....
Anyway! So in this lil dream from years ago, I'm on the subway and I spot Christopher Guest. He is getting off the D train at the same stop as me...at the Broadway/ LaFayette station... In real life I'd never try to bother this cat, I'd just dig it that I had a sighting... Apparently in my dream I do whatever the hell I want, and I start telling him my grrreat idea, that he should do a mockumentary....or...rockumentary, based on the nutty people at Renaissance Festivals... Obviously this is a dream now, because Christopher Guest is juuust loving the idea and he tells me that he's filming in the city currently. What luck!!! He says in a kinda fancy-pants voice, "Why don't you come up tomorrow, I may just have a part for you!... (That's the BEST part of the dream)... Then immediately, as so many dreams get so scrambley, I'm instantly up at my old school on the Upper East Side, where quite coincidentally the latest project just happens to be filming! Catherine O'Hara is wearing curlers, drinking champagne and eating Doritos with Parker Posey (who was sooo, sooo tiny and on a cell phone) and Bob Balaban...Then Christopher Guest appears again and tells me to come back at "7:30-SHARP!" the next morning cause he has a few lines for me... Dudes, in this dream I was SOOOO excited! I couldn't believe it!
Then the dream turned into one of those joints where I couldn't get to where i was going in time, which was awful cause I was racing to get back to my new buddy Chris Guest and his crew... I finally, finally arrive, feeling all late and ashamed... They are cool about it, however .... Soon it was time for me to deliver my lines... They wereas follows: "We will never let this legislation pass, NEVER!!!" Later on in the story I lean over to some random, faceless waiter in the film and utterly convincingly act, "Well sir, I am simply dazzled by your uses of puff pastry, but I'll have to say no....this time." Yeah....That was some crazy shit. I was really pissed and disappointed when I woke up.... I was like, "You tellin me, I'm NOT in this movie???" Yech..... What a drag..... Who writes dialog about puff-pastry??
More delusions?? OK....I can't tell you how many times I've befriended Anthony Bourdain in a dream... One time he sat at a table in this cramped restaurant where I was waitressing. He had in front of him fourteen cigarettes... He told me, "After this I'm quitting," and then we went out to smoke....and he didn't care that I was making fun of him for always wearing army jackets with the arms cut off when he's traveling in Southeast Asia.... "Come on Tony, what's that 'Nam look man?" He was cool about it.... That was pretty great, until I woke up and realized it had not happened... One time I ran into that Bourdain up at Bear Mountain State Park in the rain and he was wearing a long leather coat.... So weeeeird! Another time, in a separate dream, I was having a conversation with him and Corazon Aquino, the former president of the Philippines...... She was telling us about how she always had to have body-doubles in public, all wearing yellow dresses just like she would....... I think that one happened cause I fell asleep with the History Channel on or something though... Just to be clear, I'm supposin that there was something about Corazon Aquino on TV that night.... Tony Bourdain just showed up again and was smoking a lot.....but anyway, OH Corazon Aquino, what are YOU doin here??!! It makes no damn sense......
OK, I'll shut up about this soon.... but real, real quick lemme just retell probably the most idiotic dream that I have ever experienced....Oh if only I could blame the TV being on for this! I slept and had visions of this garbage dancing in my head....This dream could really have nearly destroyed my self esteem..... This one is the worst and I can't blame the tube, because on this night I slept in silence......
In my snoozing, I found myself amid the hustle and bustle of a busy news room....Everyone was dressed 40's style for some reason; the room was lit in sepia tones.... Frantic reporters were typing feverishly on their clunky old typewriters, rushing for deadlines...Papers were flying everywhere!! I'm sitting at my humble desk watching the activity surrounding me, when without warning.....Music!
Music erupts and there is dancing in the aisles of the office... Everyone bursts into song, not unlike a Broadway chorus they all start to belt out, "Gotta get the news...Gotta get the news! Gotta get the news.... Gotta get the news!" They sickeningly sung those lines, all the while doing some kinda, chuggin' like a locomotive dance!!!
Wow, when I woke up I was disgusted..... I just felt like, "What the HELL was that???? Where did that come from?!" I was bewildered and embarrassed.... ashamed, even! What kinda sick, stooopit shit.....??? What the sort of person.....? Needless to say, my self esteem took quite a blow... Did not feel too good about the ole girl that day...Why would such an annoying scene take place in my mind??? EW!!!!! All I could do was shake my head and say, "Get it together brain." Actually I think I would quite cherish a, "normal dream," any day over that..... A normal dream where I wake up and wander around and eat leftovers and listen to the radio where they're talkin about dreams.... AHHHHHHHHH! Trippy.... or not... Whatever the hell... :0) Well, sorry to go on and on about that.... Apologies fer making you re-live the ridiculousness!!
I was also thinkin about this topic that came up from today.... You guys asked if anyone among yez would allow their children to take part in the TV show, Kid Nation.... I considered this question too.....I decided that I would... I would permit my kiddies, whenever they show up, to go about in similar circumstances whether that program still exists or not..... In fact, I don't see Kid Nation still being around at that point in the future.... There needn't be a show! It will not stop me from abandoning my children in a ghost town equipped with only their young motivations and a video camera..... I foresee that there will be lots of crying and tumbling tumbleweed.... The events that will be captured on film will be seen as quite cutting-edge! Yeah... I don't necessarily need to suffer for my art, I'll let other little people do that for me! Yes...yes... we all have our dreams...
Anyway, I better let you guys go.... Goodnight, goodnight....
Signed,
kathleen from the bronx :):):)