My Education

[WampusCrandle]

Hey everyone, I thought I might try this out. this is my situation:
i am working as a librarian, and killing time, until i go back to school in the winter, to Fordham University. I am so excited that i got in and cant wait to go, and be so close to central park! the reason that i am working is because i couldn't afford to go to when i first got in - so i deferred. my mom has been real great with helping me with getting to school, she has paid for two years, in full, for me to go to school, and i thank her every moment i can, she even sold our house and moved into a smaller one. unfortunately, my father hasnt paid a for anything related to college and i havent talked to him since 2004 (when the money problem for school started). after long talks, my mom and i agreed that i would go to Fordham as a commuter, and i have even asked my father's parents for money, which they would agree to pay 5 grand - couldnt believe it!

here's my problem: my grandparents have just told me that they wont help me pay and dont care about me, and my dad wont give his tax returns so i can apply for financial aid. i really want to go to Fordham University, it fits me and my style wonderfully. plus, from there, i want to apply to intern at the great Ron & Fez show. i just dont know what to do. i feel really lost, and i just cant find my way.

[clockworkjoey]

Maybe fez will pay you a dollar a day to clean skippy's litter box will that help

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

I graduated from Fordham (Rose Hill) in 1989. It's been years since I've dealt with Financial Aid. Every year was a crap shoot whether I was going back to school or not. Is it possible for you to declare yourself independent? (My dad died in 1988 so I was considered an 'orphan.' I got Financial Aid up the ying yang my Senior year).

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

Maybe fez will pay you a dollar a day to clean skippy's litter box will that help

Joey,

The That's Life (http://www.ronfez.net/forums/showthread.php?t=52177) forum is for serious replies only.

[mdr55]

Maybe you need to try to get into another college within your means. We don't always get to go to our first choice. Do you have an alternate??? Plan B?????


Sucks about your dad not giving you his tax returns to get financial aid.


Conn. school of broadcasting????

[grlNIN]

Did he ever pay child support or did all this trouble with money happen from him when you hit 18 and were legally considered an "adult"?


It really sucks when you're held back because of money but it's not hopeless. I would apply for as many grants and as much aid as you can and after that it's time to turn to loans.

[cupcakelove]

That blows, paying for school is a bitch. The best you could do is talk to the Financial Aid people at Fordham and see what they can do to help. Most of the time its not much, but sometimes they can work miracles.

[WampusCrandle]

Did he ever pay child support or did all this trouble with money happen from him when you hit 18 and were legally considered an "adult"?


It really sucks when you're held back because of money but it's not hopeless. I would apply for as many grants and as much aid as you can and after that it's time to turn to loans.


let me just say, thanks for the MOST of the replies - it really helps me. the problem started when it came to college. he didnt pay a dime for any education. let me make a note here, in my parent divorce agreement, he is legally bound to pay half, and he certainly can since he has a massive boat, a home on the river, and earns 30k+ a month. he is choosing not to pay. what he wants is my mom to go broke and have his half be covered by the financial aid, which aint happening EVER. The one thing is, i havent always gotten along with him, but i dont want to resort to suing him for thousands of dollars he owes me.

and as for the aid and grants, its hard for me to get any when i cant get my dad's tax forms

[Snacks]

let me just say, thanks for the MOST of the replies - it really helps me. the problem started when it came to college. he didnt pay a dime for any education. let me make a note here, in my parent divorce agreement, he is legally bound to pay half, and he certainly can since he has a massive boat, a home on the river, and earns 30k+ a month. he is choosing not to pay. what he wants is my mom to go broke and have his half be covered by the financial aid, which aint happening EVER. The one thing is, i havent always gotten along with him, but i dont want to resort to suing him for thousands of dollars he owes me.

and as for the aid and grants, its hard for me to get any when i cant get my dad's tax forms

I think all parents should pay or help pay for college if they can afford it, thats my opinion. But I never understood how they could be forced by law. Once a child turns 18 they become an adult and lets say a parent and a child dont talk or like each other, why should the parent be forced to continue to pay once that child turns 18?

Once again im not saying they shouldnt or that a parent that does this isnt a piece of shit, they are. But legally I think if the parent chooses not to help out their child that should be their decision. Parents are obligated by law only until the child becomes an adult.

The same goes in reverse. Lets say a child hates their parents and wants to do everything on their own. It makes no sense that they ask for your parent financial information if you dont live with your parents. They should give you financial aid based on the person applying for it.

Good luck. You can do it even if your father wants to be a piece of shit and not help you even though he can afford it. Do it in spite of him.

[RoseBlood]

First, are you a Librarian or you work at the library? I'm assuming the latter cause you need your Masters in Library Science to become a Librarian, a dying profession but irrelevant here anyway.

Second, let me start off by saying I'm terribly sorry to hear about the situation with your father and paternal grandparents, it sounds like a sad situation all around. The details of where your relationship with your father went wrong isn't my business if you choose not to disclose, but I'm speculating his refusal to contribute to your education has more to do with the divorce and your mom then with yourself? Yes it sucks that you might not be able to attend your school of choice but I'd be more hurt, as I'm sure you are, with the idea that my own father doesn't care, then the actual monetary reasons. Even though you are legally an adult it's ridiculous he's living well and refusing to share any of it with you.

You say your father is legally bound to pay half (your tuition?). I'm assuming there's some stipulations, as there has to be some guidelines in such a contract? I mean is he legally bound to pay half your tuition to Harvard? and for how long into your education? For arguments sake, I assume he agreed to pay half your current tuition? So, if you can, I'd look into that further, take it up with the courts if you have too. As far as your grandparents, I wouldn't count on getting anything from them, legally or otherwise, and the sooner you are able to not think what they can/owe you in terms of money the better off you will be, mentally and emotionally. "If" your grandparents were to agree to give you that 5grand (which i doubt) consider it a bonus and nothing that was owed you. It's a shame they retracted on their initial promise.

So it's been established that your situation is hurtful and sucks to say the least but in the meantime take the others advice: talk to the Financial Aid people, apply for as many grants, scholarships as you can, every bit helps!!! When all else fails, you may have to do what many others have to do, take out a student loan.
As I've said before, it sucks to not have your fathers/grandparents help but there are a ton of students out there who had to pay their way through school either because their parents couldn't afford to help or they didn't want to help. Yeah, it can make things much more difficult for you when you have the stresses of a full/time or part/time job in addition to your studies and it's a shame if you'd have to cut back on your credits in order to accomodate this, but it can be done and you will appreciate yourself that much more. Do whatever you have to to complete your degree! Don't let him hinder your goals. If you feel strongly about it, don't stop pursuing your father for what is "legally" yours. After you have graduated and ideally get a decent paying job, if things still haven't worked out with him then you can decide if you want to drop the issue. You never know how you'll feel in the future. If you are content later in life you may decide he is no longer worth your time and energy, but that is for you to decide. If you decide to let things go, you will however, have the satisfaction of knowing he can NEVER come to you for anything and you can show off what you've earned without HIS help.. What goes around.. Living well is the best revenge.

I know you don't want to hear this and I really do think it's so sad when a parent chooses not to support their child, when they can (trust me i know!!!). Your father isn't only hurting you in the wallet, he's hurting you! Hopefully you can use your anger now to do what you have to do to finish school and throw it in your fathers face later!!! I have had discussions with friends and family about stuff like this, how much do parent's "owe" their children, specifically their "adult" children. My mother always told me she expected me to contribute towards my education and that I'd definately be paying for my own wedding. I really don't have a problem with that as my parents have helped me (financially) throughout my life when they could, so I have been lucky in that respect. While part of being a good parent is giving your child (even grown child) a sense of (financial) responsibility there are many times I feel that a parent should do as much as they can to help their children get ahead, your mother sounds like that type of parent and it's great you appreciate her so much. I look at a child's education as an investment, a parent is investing in that childs future and so long as they can afford to they should help out. As said before, I still agree with Snacks, that it shouldn't be legally imposed as there are specific circumstances where I don't think a child should be owed any money, and I don't think the parents should have to break their bank accounts to do so. Even though it is the "right" thing to do, not every parent will or can do it. Whatever happens, keep your chin up and don't let this stop you, even if you have to go to a different school, although I wish you didn't as I love Fordham just for the fact they have a good MSW program and I'd love to go there!!!

Sorry this post wound up going on for so long, brevity was never my strong point. Good luck with everything, feel free to keep the board updated (good or bad).

[WampusCrandle]

Roseblood - thank you soooo much. i have to say, what you wrote really helped me, really. throughout this whole damn thing, i can't believe i overlooked the student loans. i know i will pay for the rest of my life, but fuck it! right? i mean, i found the school of my dream! truly, thank you. normally, i am level headed, but i have been so damn pressured lately, so, thanks for getting me back on my track.

and, i have actually used my anger to do better with my life. since my last post, i have changed my last name to my mom's, which actually woke up my whole father's side that i am the last of our name; changing my last name gave me a bit of courage and UMP! and i really am on the road to getting my education and then, hopefully, intern at Ron&Fez.

thank you everyon!

[RoseBlood]

Wampus, I'm glad i could help in some way. Actually I was afraid I was being a little harsh as I can get ahead of myself at times. After I posted my reply, I went back, re-read your second post and realized your father was making it impossible for you to get financial aid. I'm really sorry he's taking his anger out on you but glad to hear you're doing what you have too in spite of it all. Sounds like you have a long road ahead, but it'll be worth it in the end. It's not easy getting over a betrayal, I know, and I wish I would take my own advice half the times.