How Many Dates & How Much Time?

[Zorro]

I have been doing the match.com thing for a month. Plenty of dates, but I am wondering if there's a "protocol"

1..How long after the first date should you call a girl? Too quick makes you seem needy...too long and you seem like a player... Is there a good time frame? If the first message is ignored do you call again? What if you call she ignores it then calls back a week or two later. Were you passed up until the other guy crapped out?

2..How many dates do you have before you are considered "dating"? By that I mean you make time for the girl, treat it likes its important and most importantly agree to go out on a Saturday night?

3. Any rules concerning how soon after you make initial email contact should you go out. I tend to like a phone conversation and then a date pretty quickly. Mostly because when I've developed a "relationship" through the phone and email they turn out to be beasts when I meet them and feel like I've wasted time.

Would love to hear opinions. I'm 47 and divorced so this is kinda new to me

[Fezticle98]

I have been doing the match.com thing for a month. Plenty of dates, but I am wondering if there's a "protocol"

1..How long after the first date should you call a girl? Too quick makes you seem needy...too long and you seem like a player... Is there a good time frame? If the first message is ignored do you call again? What if you call she ignores it then calls back a week or two later. Were you passed up until the other guy crapped out?

2..How many dates do you have before you are considered "dating"? By that I mean you make time for the girl, treat it likes its important and most importantly agree to go out on a Saturday night?

3. Any rules concerning how soon after you make initial email contact should you go out. I tend to like a phone conversation and then a date pretty quickly. Mostly because when I've developed a "relationship" through the phone and email they turn out to be beasts when I meet them and feel like I've wasted time.

Would love to hear opinions. I'm 47 and divorced so this is kinda new to me

1) 3 days. If your message is ignored, don't call back. If she waits a week to call, I'd wait a week to call her back. If she waits two weeks, I probably wouldn't bother.

2) It depends. One of those things you just feel or actually discuss it with her. One of those, is the Friday or Saturday date an implied thing? If you're not sure if you are dating, I don't think it's wrong to clarify it, if you've had a few dates.

3) As soon as you want to. Obviously, it may take a little time to get comfortable over the phone or email, but I think there is a certain leap of faith involved. A girl may be cautious because of bad experiences in the past, but you shouldn't suffer for that.

Just my opinions. I don't really know anything.

[ChrisTheCop]

how's that going?
ive always wanted to try.

[spoon]

Honestly, and know that I've never done the online thing, I'd just do what I really want to do. If I wanted to call, I'd call. If I wanted to email, I'd email. I'm not sure if it's a protocol or a personal choice. To me, I say be yourself and follow your instincts. If she doesn't like you bc you called, responded too early or late, lose her anyway. What a way to make such a huge choice! I've always been pretty upfront about my feelings everywhere and it has suited me best in the dating world. Not sure if this gets looked at as cocky or confident by women, but it's just what it is and should be. I'm not a big guy on the game "protocol" as you stated.

Good luck Z.

[zildjian361]

youre 47 and cant get laid iff you don,t know by now you never will .:wallbash::tongue:

[JPMNICK]

Honestly, and know that I've never done the online thing, I'd just do what I really want to do. If I wanted to call, I'd call. If I wanted to email, I'd email. I'm not sure if it's a protocol or a personal choice. To me, I say be yourself and follow your instincts. If she doesn't like you bc you called, responded too early or late, lose her anyway. What a way to make such a huge choice! I've always been pretty upfront about my feelings everywhere and it has suited me best in the dating world. Not sure if this gets looked at as cocky or confident by women, but it's just what it is and should be. I'm not a big guy on the game "protocol" as you stated.

Good luck Z.

i agree. do what feels right. every situation is different. and just do not take it personally of they do not reciprocate. sometimes it just doesn't work out

[Zorro]

youre 47 and cant get laid iff you don,t know by now you never will .:wallbash::tongue:

If it were about getting laid the title of the thread would have been "how do I to get laid?"
and with certainty you would not have had an answer. But I promise when I need t know how to get a chick in mom's basement I'll ask you.

[Zorro]

i agree. do what feels right. every situation is different. and just do not take it personally of they do not reciprocate. sometimes it just doesn't work out

Not about that. This is intenet dating "nothing is personal", but there's definately a way to play this. The majority of these girls are relatively easy, but it's a numbers game and the more desirable the more competition.

[Kris10]

I have no idea, I'd call once and if they don't call back forget about her. I'm one of those people though if you don't call me, I'm not calling you. I wouldn't be a good spokesperson for them.

[undressa]

OK, so this was my second summer doing the match.com thing. I spent the summer going out with everyone who showed an interest with in reason ( with in 15 years of my age, tristate area ect) I had a lot of fun and went out with alot of people. If I didn't get a phone call with in three days I either called him or moved on and there was plenty of moving on. If he didn't make plans by wednesday for the weekend, I made other plans. I have been dateing someone I met on match for almost 3months now and it is the best thing that ever happended to me and I am the one who went after him. It took about 4 dates before we talked about not dating other people. It took me about 4 months of the online thing and him about 6.

good luck and don't give up.
:wub::wub::wub::wub::wub::wub::wub::wub:

[Kris10]

OK, so this was my second summer doing the match.com thing. I spent the summer going out with everyone who showed an interest with in reason ( with in 15 years of my age, tristate area ect) I had a lot of fun and went out with alot of people. If I didn't get a phone call with in three days I either called him or moved on and there was plenty of moving on. If he didn't make plans by wednesday for the weekend, I made other plans. I have been dateing someone I met on match for almost 3months now and it is the best thing that ever happended to me and I am the one who went after him. It took about 4 dates before we talked about not dating other people. It took me about 4 months of the online thing and him about 6.

good luck and don't give up.
:wub::wub::wub::wub::wub::wub::wub::wub:

Glad it worked out for you!

[RAAMONE]

watch "Swingers"

[Justice4all]

Honestly, and know that I've never done the online thing, I'd just do what I really want to do. If I wanted to call, I'd call. If I wanted to email, I'd email. I'm not sure if it's a protocol or a personal choice. To me, I say be yourself and follow your instincts. If she doesn't like you bc you called, responded too early or late, lose her anyway. What a way to make such a huge choice! I've always been pretty upfront about my feelings everywhere and it has suited me best in the dating world. Not sure if this gets looked at as cocky or confident by women, but it's just what it is and should be. I'm not a big guy on the game "protocol" as you stated.

Good luck Z.


You know Spoon is right. Just do what you feel is best. Being upfront about what you want, what you are looking for or what you are thinking is good to an extent. You do not want to overwhelm the person with your feelings, but being honest is a good start.

Each person is different to another. one woman might think 3 or 4 dates means you are dating. Others might just wait until you have 'the talk' (you know...."I'm not seeing anyone right now...are you??")

Just NEVER ASSUME anything, unless you call her and over a week goes by and she does not call you back. Then it would be ok to assume she is not interested.
Or is a major flake. Either-or.

If you call someone and they tend to give you an attitude like 'I need space' or something lame like that, odds are they are not someone worth investing alot of time in.


Good luck, it really is a jungle out there.

[Bulldogcakes]

Honestly, and know that I've never done the online thing, I'd just do what I really want to do. If I wanted to call, I'd call. If I wanted to email, I'd email. I'm not sure if it's a protocol or a personal choice. To me, I say be yourself and follow your instincts. If she doesn't like you bc you called, responded too early or late, lose her anyway. What a way to make such a huge choice! I've always been pretty upfront about my feelings everywhere and it has suited me best in the dating world. Not sure if this gets looked at as cocky or confident by women, but it's just what it is and should be. I'm not a big guy on the game "protocol" as you stated.

Good luck Z.

I'm with Spoon and JPMNick on this. You're really over thinking this. If it feels right, go for it. If you're not sure, take it slow but don't give up too soon. You never know.