a wedding story

[deliciousV]

A few moths ago a good friend asked me to be a part of his wedding. He's a friend I made years ago and lives in Dayton, Ohio , I live in Myrtle Beach, but he's a good friend so I said I'd be honored. I doubt the Brides parents spent as much on this wedding as I did, here's the breakdown...

1. trip to Ohio for the fitting and bachelors party (round trip) $150.00
2. the stupid party was at a titty bar $50.00
3. tux rental $95.00
4. second round trip for wedding $150.00
5. rehearsal dinner, held at an Italian place $35.00
6. envelope for the happy couple $50.00
7. speeding ticket in stupid Virginia (I wouldn't have got it if I wasn't traveling for the wedding, so I'm counting it) $130.00
8. time driving 11 hours each way

total $660.00 and 44 hours driving

the wedding was Sept. 15th, he called today to tell me they were getting a divorce. turns out the bitch is crazy.
I know nobody cares, but I wanted to see if it looked as bad in writing as I thought it would, it does........people suck

[buzzard]

I feel ya man, my wife's boss is getting married tomorrow and we split up 3 days ago...she calls me and asked me If I wanted to still go(as I'd already spent the $$ on clothes etc..) I'm thinking of going and simply telling everyone I meet,I like turtles.yer not alone people don't always suck...just sometimes!

[King Hippos Bandaid]

A few moths ago a good friend asked me to be a part of his wedding. He's a friend I made years ago and lives in Dayton, Ohio , I live in Myrtle Beach, but he's a good friend so I said I'd be honored. I doubt the Brides parents spent as much on this wedding as I did, here's the breakdown...

1. trip to Ohio for the fitting and bachelors party (round trip) $150.00
2. the stupid party was at a titty bar $50.00
3. tux rental $95.00
4. second round trip for wedding $150.00
5. rehearsal dinner, held at an Italian place $35.00
6. envelope for the happy couple $50.00
7. speeding ticket in stupid Virginia (I wouldn't have got it if I wasn't traveling for the wedding, so I'm counting it) $130.00
8. time driving 11 hours each way

total $660.00 and 44 hours driving

the wedding was Sept. 15th, he called today to tell me they were getting a divorce. turns out the bitch is crazy.
I know nobody cares, but I wanted to see if it looked as bad in writing as I thought it would, it does........people suck

id spit in your face if you gave my wife and I only $50

But you get a pass for all the other expenses I guess


I had my Bachelor Party on a Cruise, people shelled out $350 , then spent from $400 to 1K on the ship, but they had a blast, 4 people in my wedding party did not go, Unless you are the best man, you dont have to do anything cept tux,rehearsal, getting there and gift I gave good notice and was not mad if anyone couldnt afford it.

i would not have said yes, unless he was a childhood friend who you still see often or talk to often

Rant Over

:king:

[Tenbatsuzen]

You paid for the rehearsal dinner at 35 bucks, you paid 50 at the bachelor party, and you only gave 50 bucks as PART OF THE WEDDING?

you better move this fucking thread to that's life before you get torn a new one.

[deliciousV]

You paid for the rehearsal dinner at 35 bucks, you paid 50 at the bachelor party, and you only gave 50 bucks as PART OF THE WEDDING?

you better move this fucking thread to that's life before you get torn a new one.

I'm not a rich man and these were not rich people, I'll bet another 50 that the envelope I gave was one of the biggest. Why is this the thing you people focus on? I gave all I could, believe me. And he's a friend not a relative. When it came time to put something in an envelope, I already knew what this mess was costing me, at least I didn't get them a turkey baster.

ps. they were registered at Wal-mart and the main course at the reception was 2 6 foot subway subs, God's honest truth!

[Tenbatsuzen]

I'm not a rich man and these were not rich people, I'll bet another 50 that the envelope I gave was one of the biggest. Why is this the thing you people focus on? I gave all I could, believe me. And he's a friend not a relative.

I practically live paycheck to paycheck. I am always generous to weddings I go to. Maybe this should go in the cost of living thread, but for any kind of wedding, giving less than 100 bucks is just rude. And if you're a part of the wedding? Even more.

I'm trying to figure out why you had to pay at the rehearsal dinner. That's usually paid by someone else.

Maybe things are different in Ohio, but to me, 50 bucks is something grandma gives you for your birthday or Christmas, not a wedding present.

[Tenbatsuzen]

http://music.intertechmedia.com/wfny/images/dukes.jpg

"I approve of this thread."

[Hottub]

I'm not a rich man and these were not rich people, I'll bet another 50 that the envelope I gave was one of the biggest. Why is this the thing you people focus on? I gave all I could, believe me. And he's a friend not a relative.

ps. they were registered at Wal-mart and the main course at the reception was 2 6 foot subway subs, God's honest truth!

Face to you, Matty. Not everyone gets married in North Jersey.
I think you assume too much. Or maybe base all stories and events on your life.

[Tenbatsuzen]

I'm not a rich man and these were not rich people, I'll bet another 50 that the envelope I gave was one of the biggest. Why is this the thing you people focus on? I gave all I could, believe me. And he's a friend not a relative.

ps. they were registered at Wal-mart and the main course at the reception was 2 6 foot subway subs, God's honest truth!

Classy. OK, maybe 50 isn't that bad.

[Tenbatsuzen]

Face to you, Matty. Not everyone gets married in North Jersey.
I think you assume too much. Or maybe base all stories and events on your life.

I made my initial assumption before the "PS" was added about what was served at the wedding. That being said, 50 is acceptable.

[Tenbatsuzen]

Or maybe base all stories and events on your life.

http://music.intertechmedia.com/wfny/images/dukes.jpg

"I approve of this thread."

Face back to you.

[Hottub]

Cool. As long as it has your approval, we are good.:tongue:

[Jujubees2]

deliciousV,

Unlike Matty I think that with the rest of the money you spent on the wedding $50 was a good gift. I didn't get married for the money and I would have looked no different on anyone who gave me $5 as opposed to $100. I invited my friends and family to share in the special day with me, not to have them write a check.

As to your situation, it sucks but it happens.

[King Hippos Bandaid]

I practically live paycheck to paycheck. I am always generous to weddings I go to. Maybe this should go in the cost of living thread, but for any kind of wedding, giving less than 100 bucks is just rude. And if you're a part of the wedding? Even more.

I'm trying to figure out why you had to pay at the rehearsal dinner. That's usually paid by someone else.

Maybe things are different in Ohio, but to me, 50 bucks is something grandma gives you for your birthday or Christmas, not a wedding present.

QFT

Testify Matty TESTIFY!!!!!

:king:

[cupcakelove]

I think the fact that he spent two days total traveling all over the country for his friend says more than whatever he put in the envelope.

[deliciousV]

QFT

Testify Matty TESTIFY!!!!!

:king:


I dropped 660 on a three week marriage and to eat like Jarret, now I'm supposed to be ashamed of the wedding gift? Next person invites me to a wedding gets a pipe bomb package.....beautifully wrapped.

[cupcakelove]

I dropped 660 on a three week marriage and to eat like Jarret, now I'm supposed to be ashamed of the wedding gift? Next person invites me to a wedding gets a pipe bomb package.....beautifully wrapped.

Testify delicious, testify!!!!

[Leticia]

First of all, yes 50 dollars is a shitty amount for a Wedding present.

It may sem like a lot of money to you but you choose to spned this amount of money when you agree to be apart of the wedding party.

It's not all fun and games this is part of your responsibility.

I'm definitely not counting the speeding ticket unless he was driving your car when you got it. That's a ridiculous thing to say.

Weddings on average cost about 15,000 dollars. Yea. Maybe 10,000. Seriously.

The wedding dress alone is between 600-2000 dollars. 600 if you're really really lucky.

When he asked you to be in the wedding you should have done some research on what your responsibility would cost you.

Yea you spent a good amount of money. NOWHERE NEAR HALF of what they probably spent AND they have to pay for a divorce.

Sorry you spent 660, but tough titties.

Sorry to be so blunt but I have so little money and am in the process of planning a wedding that I don't even know to afford.

If a person in my bridal party gave me 50 bucks as a present it wouldn't even cover what I paid for them to be in the bridal party.

[Jujubees2]

I still disagree Leticia,

I didn't invite my friends to my wedding to help me pay for it. I invited them to share the day with me, not to share the caterer's bill.

I agree that wedding are expensive but they don't have to be. I say do what you can afford. My wife and I had a nice buffet-style wedding with beer and wine and a four-piece band. That was what was in our budget.

People are so wrapped up in having a blow-out reception that they lose track of what the day is really about. THE CEREMONY.

[deliciousV]

First of all, yes 50 dollars is a shitty amount for a Wedding present.

It may sem like a lot of money to you but you choose to spned this amount of money when you agree to be apart of the wedding party.

It's not all fun and games this is part of your responsibility.

I'm definitely not counting the speeding ticket unless he was driving your car when you got it. That's a ridiculous thing to say.

Weddings on average cost about 15,000 dollars. Yea. Maybe 10,000. Seriously.

The wedding dress alone is between 600-2000 dollars. 600 if you're really really lucky.

When he asked you to be in the wedding you should have done some research on what your responsibility would cost you.

Yea you spent a good amount of money. NOWHERE NEAR HALF of what they probably spent AND they have to pay for a divorce.

Sorry you spent 660, but tough titties.

Sorry to be so blunt but I have so little money and am in the process of planning a wedding that I don't even know to afford.

If a person in my bridal party gave me 50 bucks as a present it wouldn't even cover what I paid for them to be in the bridal party.

Holy shit, I don't even know where to begin. I was at this wedding, it didn't even cost $1000, it wasn't a Bloomingdales wedding, it was a Walmart wedding. The brides dress was a hand me down! There were no gifts for the wedding party, the rehearsal dinner was basically everybody meeting at the same dive and buying there own dinner. A SUBWAY reception! need I say more? There wasn't 10 grand combined in the bank accounts of all who attended. And now I'm supposed to drop a fat envelope like a Soprano.

[Hottub]

Ok , Leticia. I know EXACTLY what you are going through. We did it ourselves a few years back. Every chick longs for the perfect wedding day. Champaign, caviar, Waterford crystal, top shelf booze... Shit. We hired an antique Rolls Royse to bring her ass to the church.

Bottom line, 15 grand for ONE DAY!! I have been saying this for years, and will continue to say it. Next time, a BBQ and Pool Party. A keg and a DJ.

15 large, GONE in a single day!! I could have bought her a brand new car!! Well, whatever. It's gone. I have a photo album and a video to show for it.

Also, not all weddings are at The Brownstone. Some are at Cracker Barrel. Different strokes...
If I threw a pool party, would I expect hundreds from my guests? Prolly not.
Oh yeah, we did not make back close to what we put out. It happens!

[Tenbatsuzen]

I still disagree Leticia,

I didn't invite my friends to my wedding to help me pay for it. I invited them to share the day with me, not to share the caterer's bill.

I agree that wedding are expensive but they don't have to be. I say do what you can afford. My wife and I had a nice buffet-style wedding with beer and wine and a four-piece band. That was what was in our budget.

People are so wrapped up in having a blow-out reception that they lose track of what the day is really about. THE CEREMONY.

Perhaps you mis-read my sentiments, so let me explain.

The wedding gift isn't to help pay for the wedding. The wedding gift is to help start their new life together. It should be used to help buy a new house or something like that.

The rule of thumb usually is, you're supposed to cover your plate + your date's plate. At the very least. You then add a little extra for a present.

If you're a part of the wedding, then it's more.

Now, I know of situations where people absolutely cannot afford a wedding present within these guidelines, and I'm OK with that. But this guy made the effort (and documented) all the expenses he made for the wedding. With the money he spent (disregarding the final result of the wedding), I don't think an extra 50 would have been a bank-breaker.

Of course, that's for a typical, standard wedding. If you're serving 6-foot subs for your wedding day, you deserve what you put into it. 6 foot subs are for superbowl sunday, not a wedding.

Besides, I think most fans of the Ron and Fez show kinda of understand that 50 is lowballing it.

[Hottub]

Dammit. You really don't get it, do you.

[Tenbatsuzen]

Dammit. You really don't get it, do you.

You may want to reference this thread (http://www.ronfez.net/forums/showthread.php?t=52973) before tearing me a new one.

Ironically enough, the friend in question in that thread, I also gave $50 for her first wedding present.

[Tenbatsuzen]

Dammit. You really don't get it, do you.

And how do I not get it? I said if it's a crappy wedding, you get a crappy present. If it's a nice wedding, a nice present. But cry me a river on breaking even with cost put into the wedding vs. the presents. We didn't break even either, but we had a great time. I'd rather take the moment of watching everyone in front of me dancing and having a great time (think Conan on his throne) and having one of the biggest cathartic laughs of all-time when Shelle started power-booting inside my truck the day after than if I had a couple of extra hundred bucks in my bank account.

[Hottub]

I know it has only been a little while, but
WOuld you do it again?
Drop that kind of cash? You can have just as much fun in the backyard. What would you do with that cash?

[King Hippos Bandaid]

I dropped 660 on a three week marriage and to eat like Jarret, now I'm supposed to be ashamed of the wedding gift? Next person invites me to a wedding gets a pipe bomb package.....beautifully wrapped.

Git R Done!!!!!!!!!

Wedding Party Members Deserve to give A C Note Each, no matter what

:king:

[King Hippos Bandaid]

First of all, yes 50 dollars is a shitty amount for a Wedding present.

It may sem like a lot of money to you but you choose to spned this amount of money when you agree to be apart of the wedding party.

It's not all fun and games this is part of your responsibility.

I'm definitely not counting the speeding ticket unless he was driving your car when you got it. That's a ridiculous thing to say.

Weddings on average cost about 15,000 dollars. Yea. Maybe 10,000. Seriously.

The wedding dress alone is between 600-2000 dollars. 600 if you're really really lucky.

When he asked you to be in the wedding you should have done some research on what your responsibility would cost you.

Yea you spent a good amount of money. NOWHERE NEAR HALF of what they probably spent AND they have to pay for a divorce.

Sorry you spent 660, but tough titties. tee hee

Sorry to be so blunt but I have so little money and am in the process of planning a wedding that I don't even know to afford.

If a person in my bridal party gave me 50 bucks as a present it wouldn't even cover what I paid for them to be in the bridal party.


Awwwww Yeahhhhhhhhh

Let Let knows hows its gotta be

She is gonna be apart of the Wedding of the Century

Could 2 cooler people get married , I think not

PS Let, ill see ya next thurs, Randall and I will be in the Studio

:king:

[Tenbatsuzen]

I know it has only been a little while, but
WOuld you do it again?
Drop that kind of cash? You can have just as much fun in the backyard. What would you do with that cash?

My original plan was to have a huge tent in my parents backyard, and hire a Katrina-displaced reverend who also owns a BBQ business named "Obidiah" to cater.

The only things I regret spending money on for the wedding we did have was the limos (unneeded, waste of money) and the Jesus Mercenary we hired for the ceremony.

I called in every single favor I could (and negotiated like a motherfucker) to get the right deals on the right stuff, so I had a classy wedding without breaking the bank.

[Tenbatsuzen]

I know it has only been a little while, but
WOuld you do it again?
Drop that kind of cash? You can have just as much fun in the backyard. What would you do with that cash?

And BTW, I had mentioned to Liz that all the scrimping and saving we did for the wedding (especially with me being out of work for a few months) helped strengthen our relationship. So no, I don't regret spending the money considering the feedback I got from the wedding. I throw a hell of a party.

[Doogie]

You may want to reference this thread (http://www.ronfez.net/forums/showthread.php?t=52973) before tearing me a new one.

Ironically enough, the friend in question in that thread, I also gave $50 for her first wedding present.

Last I looked, the Moon revolved around the Earth...

[Doogie]

Holy shit, I don't even know where to begin. I was at this wedding, it didn't even cost $1000, it wasn't a Bloomingdales wedding, it was a Walmart wedding. The brides dress was a hand me down! There were no gifts for the wedding party, the rehearsal dinner was basically everybody meeting at the same dive and buying there own dinner. A SUBWAY reception! need I say more? There wasn't 10 grand combined in the bank accounts of all who attended. And now I'm supposed to drop a fat envelope like a Soprano.

I dont know why, but when I read this part of the story I was anxious to bound over to google and search for the perfect image. I have thus found it:

http://www.eriehl.com/wedding/images/PD_WhiteTrash.jpg

Yes, often replicated. But I dont give a fuck. Does the whole thing make you sad cause you dont get a chance to bang the former bride now??

[Hottub]

I already know where Doog's reception is gonna be.

He's gonna save a ton of cash!

[deliciousV]

I dont know why, but when I read this part of the story I was anxious to bound over to google and search for the perfect image. I have thus found it:

http://www.eriehl.com/wedding/images/PD_WhiteTrash.jpg

Yes, often replicated. But I dont give a fuck. Does the whole thing make you sad cause you dont get a chance to bang the former bride now??

That pretty much captures the ambience of this affair, except the lucky fucks in the picture had beer, the one I went to featured BIG-K cola.

[mikeyboy]

Matty worked in radio, so he became an expert at radio. He got married, so he became an expert on weddings. I can't wait until he becomes a father so he can start tell to us all how we should be raising our kids. :rolleyes:

[Tenbatsuzen]

Matty worked in radio, so he became an expert at radio. He got married, so he became an expert on weddings. I can't wait until he becomes a father so he can start tell to us all how we should be raising our kids. :rolleyes:

When did I say I was an expert on weddings? All of my posts in this thread pretty much reflect the thoughts of the people in the thread I linked.

[mikeyboy]

When did I say I was an expert on weddings? All of my posts in this thread pretty much reflect the thoughts of the people in the thread I linked.

There's a way to give an opinion without being condescending and lecturing.

[Leticia]

Now I understand that not everyone has to spend a ton of money,

but I think Ten is right with the present being so the couple can start a life together. That's why a lot of the presents are household items.

It doesn't matter if the wedding is low scale (which if it meant they couldn't afford a super big wedding, which most of us can't) it's more of a reason to give a little more to help them out.

I'm sure 1000 was still a lot of money for them.

I didn't mean to come off as saying everyone spends big money, I was saying on average was the amount was that people spend. And if your in the actual wedding party you have a responsibility and you know how much you'd be spending and for what.

And I'm still not counting the speeding ticket,lol.

[deliciousV]

Now I understand that not everyone has to spend a ton of money,

but I think Ten is right with the present being so the couple can start a life together. That's why a lot of the presents are household items.

It doesn't matter if the wedding is low scale (which if it meant they couldn't afford a super big wedding, which most of us can't) it's more of a reason to give a little more to help them out.

I'm sure 1000 was still a lot of money for them.

I didn't mean to come off as saying everyone spends big money, I was saying on average was the amount was that people spend. And if your in the actual wedding party you have a responsibility and you know how much you'd be spending and for what.

And I'm still not counting the speeding ticket,lol.

I can see not counting the speeding ticket, but from my point of view, if I had said no when asked to be a part of a wedding 650 miles away, I wouldn't have been anywhere near Virginia.
I should also mention that this was not a first wedding for either one of these people, they have a household already setup, and their special day was one step above a justice of the peace wedding. Not some story book wedding between a fresh young couple.

[Tenbatsuzen]

There's a way to give an opinion without being condescending and lecturing.

Show me. The only point where I was "condescending" was when Tub called me out. I was not to the original poster, other than drawing the Al Dukes corollary.

You want consdescending? Fine. Some fuckin' admin you are, not even having the bit in question I needed to back me up in the file library.

[Leticia]

This thread is making us turn against each other!!!!!!

[mikeyboy]

Show me. The only point where I was "condescending" was when Tub called me out. I was not to the original poster, other than drawing the Al Dukes corollary.

You want consdescending? Fine. Some fuckin' admin you are, not even having the bit in question I needed to back me up in the file library.

The thread was venting about having to drop a fair amount of cash for a marriage that dissolved almost immediately, not about the adequacy of wedding gift. Regardless, you spend most of the thread lecturing him about how he gave an inadequate wedding gift. That's the lecturing part. The condescending part is that, without really knowing all the facts (second marriage, small wedding, part of the country), you automatically assume that you know the best course of action and feel compelled to make that clear. And the Al Dukes wedding gift bit backs you up how? I'm not even arguing with the position you take, but rather the methods you use to express it.

I don't even know why I bother with this. It's not like this ever changes. I dunno -- once in a while think about how some of the things you post come off before hitting "submit reply".

whatever

[Hottub]

Yes, you were condescending to the "original poster". (The name is delicious V)
And I was not calling you out. Merely voicing frustration that you were quoting me while seemingly not reading (or at least acknowledging) my post! Believe it or not, other people do have opinions. Try listening once in a while.

[SatCam]

The thread was venting about having to drop a fair amount of cash for a marriage that dissolved almost immediately, not about the adequacy of wedding gift. Regardless, you spend most of the thread lecturing him about how he gave an inadequate wedding gift. That's the lecturing part. The condescending part is that, without really knowing all the facts (second marriage, small wedding, part of the country), you automatically assume that you know the best course of action and feel compelled to make that clear. And the Al Dukes wedding gift bit backs you up how? I'm not even arguing with the position you take, but rather the methods you use to express it.

I don't even know why I bother with this. It's not like this ever changes. I dunno -- once in a while think about how some of the things you post come off before hitting "submit reply".

whatever

you two fight like a married couple

[Hottub]

Oh. Wait. Now I see it. You basically called delicious v a douche for not giving the prescribed amount. Right out of the gate. That is when I did, indeed, call you out.

Think globally, man.

[mikeyboy]

you two fight like a married couple

I hate you

[Ritalin]

I know what the underlying problem is in this thread: Dayton Ohio. Dayton Ohio is the hillbilly capitol of the world.

No, I take that back. It's where hillbilly's roamed in search of food and employment and became white trash. You give 50 dollars at a wedding in Dayton and people will point at the fancy city slicker throwing his money around. I'm suprised they even sprung for the Subway, and didn't put a big hunk of government cheese and some paper plates on a table.

[TeeBone]

I know what the underlying problem is in this thread: Dayton Ohio. Dayton Ohio is the hillbilly capitol of the world.

Clearly you have never been to Palatka, Florida. (nor should you by the way)

[Ritalin]

No no, Tea Bohn, I took it back.

Dayton is the WHITE TRASH capital of the world.

[StupidGirlllll]

I practically live paycheck to paycheck. I am always generous to weddings I go to. Maybe this should go in the cost of living thread, but for any kind of wedding, giving less than 100 bucks is just rude. And if you're a part of the wedding? Even more.

I'm trying to figure out why you had to pay at the rehearsal dinner. That's usually paid by someone else.

Maybe things are different in Ohio, but to me, 50 bucks is something grandma gives you for your birthday or Christmas, not a wedding present.


You have to realize that people not from the tri-state area do thing practical. They do not have wedding at fancy halls & spend lots of $ on bands & open bar, they have it in there yard & hold a pig roast.. We on the other hand have to go over board on everything & spend alot more $ than actually needed cause we have to be better than my bff's wedding last yr. Weddings around here are like My Super Sweet Sixteen on MTV it has to be bigger & better than the last.

[hydee]

---

[Gwen]

You have to realize that people not from the tri-state area do thing practical. They do not have wedding at fancy halls & spend lots of $ on bands & open bar, they have it in there yard & hold a pig roast.. We on the other hand have to go over board on everything & spend alot more $ than actually needed cause we have to be better than my bff's wedding last yr. Weddings around here are like My Super Sweet Sixteen on MTV it has to be bigger & better than the last.

A-freakin'-men. I'm in the same boat as Leticia (sorry i can't spell), having a wedding that we're footing the bill for all on our own, no help from the 'rents. The area of the country we live in is quite different from the rest of the country so what we consider to be "standard wedding faire" is not quite the way it is elsewhere. Heck, my fiancee went to a wedding in Indianapolis of two transplants to that area from Westchester County, NY and it was in a tent in the park and the wedding party had to help set up and make food and lug booze and do it all themselves. Nothing wrong with it, just different.