post advice for anyone younger

[TooLowBrow]

...if you are smoking weed, and there is a tiny explosion in the bowl or the joint... you left a seed in there...

[PapaBear]

Only users lose drugs.

[Judge Smails]

This is shit:
http://youjean.wordpress.com/files/2006/08/poop.jpg

And this is Shinola:
http://vaiden.net/shinola01.jpg

[cupcakelove]

who said what to the who now?

[Fallon]

One: Real men don't own lap dogs.

Two: Never date girls with dragon tattoos.

C: And this is the biggie- Always, ALWAYS get chili on your Nachos BellGrande.

[Judge Smails]

1. The Lord loves a working man.
2. Don't never, ever trust whitey.
3. If you catch it, see a doctor and get rid of it.

[Badinia]

Every time an older person mentions a television show/band/event from before your time, and you toss your hair back and say "I wasn't even *born* then", it will come back around to you. I know that you can't imagine a time when Soulja Boy is touring as a nostalgia act, and can no longer Crank That due to his prosthetic hip, but it will happen, and a young person will toss their aggravatingly full head of hair at you and tell you that *they* weren't even born then.

[Badinia]

1. The Lord loves a working man.
2. Don't never, ever trust whitey.
3. If you catch it, see a doctor and get rid of it.

A special purpose? I've GOT one of those!

[ralphbxny]

Never trust a big butt and a smile because that girl is poison.....poison!

[PapaBear]

Don't EVER ask a woman when her baby is due.

[drjoek]

fuck as many girls when you're young as you can. Nobody ever died saying I wish I hadn't banged all those chicks. Plus your chances are better if you use this knowledge before its too late

[SatCam]

thanks for the advice fellas

now I plan to do the exact opposite :smoke:

[Furtherman]

Suck it up. I don't want to hear your problems.

[Tall_James]

If a woman asks you if her outfit makes her look fat, tell her yes.

[MadMatt]

Don't EVER ask a woman when her baby is due.

...unless she mentions that she is pregnant FIRST. If you assume you are screwed - it can be a bad, BAD thing.

However, it is almost rude not to ask the due date if she mentions she is pregnant.

[Hottub]

Here's some advice,

Stay off my goddam lawn!!!!!:furious:

[Earlshog]

be very careful who you solicit on the internet....


http://msnbcmedia4.msn.com/j/msnbc/Components/Video/060922/tdy_hansen_predator_060922.300w.jpg

[Dougie Brootal]

fuck as many girls when you're young as you can. Nobody ever died saying I wish I hadn't banged all those chicks. Plus your chances are better if you use this knowledge before its too late

to elaborate on the good doctor's advice... fuck as many highschool chicks as you can before you hit 20. TRUST ME. there will be a time when you are walkin down the street and see a ridiculously hot 15-17 year old chick and not even be able to talk to her. its sooo unfair. i coulda fucked her! just cuz now im 23 its illegal?!?! bullshit age limits! now all i can do is go home a jack off to the memory of her...... umm. ill just stop right there.

[Badinia]

When soliciting a prostitute, ALWAYS check for an adam's apple.

In Bangkok: There's no such thing as a free sex show.

[MadMatt]

Change your car's oil at the recommended interval for the type of oil you are using. Also, don't put off car repairs because it can escalate to bigger, more expensive problems.

Preventive maintenance is key.

[Furtherman]

There IS sex in the champaign room.

[drjoek]

Get all the money from your mom and dad and send it to me
http://www.nbma.com/cat/newminds/soupy.gif

[deepinthewoods]

Never take advice. It's your time down here.

[weekapaugjz]

Women love anal, especially when you don't warn them before hand.

[Dougie Brootal]

I love anal, especially when you don't warn me before hand.

EEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[weekapaugjz]

EEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey, hey, hey. No need to be judgmental...

[Dougie Brootal]

never be judgemental. to each, his own, it takes all kinds, yada yada yada...

(except for the gays!)

[TeeBone]

ALWAYS avoid a girl if she has a dream-catcher hanging from her rear view mirror.

[Judge Smails]

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proven by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation while chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75<SUP>th</SUP> wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.

[MadMatt]

Wear sunscreen.

:lol:

You clever bastard...

:clap:

[weekapaugjz]

If you are still in college or go back for college make sure you are enjoying what you are taking. Its not worth the money or effort to take classes you hate. I started school as a business major thinking I was going to be super rich. I couldn't stand it and switched majors to history. I now absolutely love my new job teaching history.

[King Hippos Bandaid]

I am gonna go with the Hack

Dont Eat Yellow Snow


Also Digiorno is NOT LIKE DELIVERY, if you want REAL Pizza, get it Delivered

:king:

[Badinia]

Be wary of a man who's never been close to being married and is over 30. He may be a pedophile, or a poster on internet messageboards.

[patsopinion]

dont look back

things always look different coming away then going in


your going to make mistakes
learn from each but don't be afraid of making another one as long as its not the same mistake

[Badinia]

From Manson's book:

If a woman has your face or name tattooed on her body, sleeping with her is not cheating. It is the only polite thing to do.

If your bandmate sleeps with a groupie and you're still thinking about her days later, *YOU* cheated.

It's not cheating if you're in a different time zone. You couldn't be sleeping with your girlfriend, because she's in the FUTURE!

If you like the Smiths, or (this is advanced) sleep with a girl who likes the Smiths, you're gay.

[Furtherman]

Be wary of a man who's never been close to being married and is over 30. He may be a pedophile, or a poster on internet messageboards.

HEY!

[Dougie Brootal]

From Manson's book:

If a woman has your face or name tattooed on her body, sleeping with her is not cheating. It is the only polite thing to do.

If your bandmate sleeps with a groupie and you're still thinking about her days later, *YOU* cheated.

It's not cheating if you're in a different time zone. You couldn't be sleeping with your girlfriend, because she's in the FUTURE!

If you like the Smiths, or (this is advanced) sleep with a girl who likes the Smiths, you're gay.

its not cheating if you get a blowjob. blowjobs are like handshakes.

if your first, middle, last, or only name is morrisey, you are gay.

if youve ever had a haircut like morrisey, youre gay.

if youve ever gotten a haircut while a morrisey or smiths song is playing, youre gay.

if youre ever in a bathroom with your dick in your hand and you hear a smiths or morrisey song, your gay.

boy i could go on for hours with mansons rules! great book btw for anyone who hasnt read it, long hard road out of hell, by marilyn manson.

[deepinthewoods]

Learn to speak fluent Chinese and Arabic.

Buy Euros.

Listen to the William S Burroughs/Disposable Heroes Of Hiphoprisy collaboration track called "Words Of Advice For Young People." That fuckin' junky lived forever, so he did something right (hopefully shooting H and fucking boys isn't the secret. Personally, I think it was all the relaxing Calgon baths)

http://www.amazon.com/Words-Advice-Young-People/dp/B000W2KRRW/ref=dm_ap_trk44/104-1988235-2599952

[reillyluck]

dont EVER tell Lord Jezo where you live (talking to you, sheepy!)