Kathleen From The Bronx
10-30-2007, 07:49 AM
Dear Ron and Fez Shooow,
Whew!!! Whoa....Hold on a second! Let me catch my breath here!! Are you tellin me that Bon Jovi sucks??! Well this came as quite a shock.........
I know what you're thinking....."You've had many, many hours to get over the news, at this point." Yeah, you're right.... I was just being over-dramatic anyway..... I was also originally gonna say, "This came as quite a shock.......until I remembered that I've known that MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!!" I'm glad that I didn't add that cause then it'd be all over-dramatic, sarcastic, AND senselessly combative...??? And why be like that??? Yeah.... Anyway... so Bon Jovi.....
It was pretty interesting to me to hear Eddie Trunk, "Bon Jovi fan since day-one," call in about his changed opinion of the band..... Cause you know, it's old hat to hear some bird like me go off about not diggin the Jovi......of course..... but it's highly fascinating to hear about what makes a long-time fan change their mind..... What was the last straw?? What'd they do to ya, my boy??!!!?
Eddie Trunk said that for all the money fans are spending to go out n see Bon Jovi, the band did not nearly give em a show..... They had no energy.....They all walked through it mechanically.....and Jon Bon Jovi appeared to have some sense of pomposity..... in an, "I'm Jon Bon Jovi; behold me!" kinda way...... Somethin like that.... even when they were playin to their Jersey home-crowd......
I was tryin to think....were there any bands that I've turned around on....... I couldn't think of any....If I had anything relatable it would be pretty easy to recall, right? .... Cause the change of heart would have had to be after something historically bad.....or embarrassing enough to want to share....... Hmmm... nope... So then I started wondering if my cousin still liked Bon Jovi....
She was another one of these, "Bon Jovi fan since day-one,"s.......Believe me.... One Christmas in the late mid-eighties, she was in her early late-twenties....and I was about eight.... She had gotten two of the same Bon Jovi calendars that year and so she was like, "Oh here! You can have the other one!" and I faked it and acted like, "Oh yay! Thanks.." cause I didn't want to be rude and blurt out, "That's NOT goin up on my wall!"
I don't know what my problem was, but for some reason I couldn't stand the thought of even bringing it home with me..... so I devised a plan..... I left it behind a sofa cushion in their living room.... At the time I thought that it was a very stealthy move....as if it would suggest that certainly I had really WANTED to take it home with me, but had just inadvertently forgotten it as I was sitting there on the couch with it.........
Now I'm thinking that it probably was mad UN-stealthy....and obvious....and I'm wondering if that move is the reason why that cousin of mine has never really seemed to like me...... I'm goin over things now and I can't recall if I started gettin that vibe pre-calendar incident or post-calendar incident......... Hmmm......It never came up at all......and yet..... I am currently believing that this whole Bon Jovi calendar thing is the root...... Woo! Breakthrough...
Anyway, during those years I noticed that Bon Jovi and so many other bands had the same hair as my older Long Island girl-cousins........ Bon Jovi had the same hair as suburban chicks their age. That they still do....is one of my favorite facts ever!!! Yes, the styles have changed... What was once mall high-hair is now a modern, sassy layered-'do..... Which came first...the girl hair...or..? I find myself at the edge here, about to plummet into some kind of take on, "the-chicken-or-the-egg," debate..... No...no.... step back.... It matters not...... Whew... that was a close one..
So by this point the hair bands have evolved their look to, "slightly-edgier soccer-mom"..... but ya know... no style ever completely goes away....even the ole 80's hair band fan look.... There is always some one willing to hang tough.....Make-over shows are full of them.... It's kind of exciting to run across a true, "stuck-in-a-look," person though..... Like, "Hey! You're the one who still searches out jackets with extreme shoulder pads!" It's almost admirable.... in a strange, strange way... Right, fuck it! It's your look, shine on.... It must take tenacity.... It's like when I still, to this day, see dudes rockin Zoobaz in Wildwood....You keep finding them, where do they find them??? I applaud them.... Never say goodbye.... Never say goodbye.........
Last year.....that's correct, in the 2000's..... I was sittin in the van at this gas station in Long Island and I saw a woman still with the high-hair..... spandex pants tucked into slouch socks, wearing those little white Keds...... I wished that I could have taken a picture... cause it's like a rare sighting.... One who has kept with.... the way.... The years of different styles of pants have done nothing to sway....... It's like coming across one lone wanderer who has remained from an almost extinct, indigenous tribe..... It's like, "Whoa! Wassup time-traveler?! Good for you, huh!"
Anyway... you know what your guest, Alicia Witt, has in common with Bon Jovi? They were both on Ally McBeal for some episodes.... Lil factoid there... Yeah I used to watch Ally McBeal.....not necessarily voluntarily...... My mother in-law was into it and she's a great cook.... and sooo.... When I was livin over there we'd eat her good cookin and watch FOX shows...... Eh... so apparently I'd rather paint myself as a hideous user rather than as one who would go out of their way to watch Ally McBeal....... That's one problem I have..... Anyway, it was fun to watch that with the moms in-law cause sometimes she'd yell out stuff about, "The Beal," as she called her.....like..... "OOooh I am so sick of her grapefruit head!!!" Heeeh hehhhh.... She thought Beal had a really small head..... I'd think sometimes, "Wait, so you don't like this show either? So what's goin on here??" Cause if I randomly screamed, "OOOH Law! Such funny-business!!!" She seemed aggravated..... Ahh welll...
I wonder if this whole, Bon Jovi acting thing is an "In-your-face!" To Richie Sambora or something.... Hmmm....something calculated.....or is it subconscious resentment?? Maybe it's like Jon thinks, "You may be (have been, now) married to an actress, Sambora..... but I....Jon Bon Jovi... am an ACTOR!" Nah.... I'm just being silly...... That's crazy...... Jon Bon Jovi was in Homegrown, remember??? The whole time I saw him in that film I thought, "Why would someone have that hair on a Northern California commune or whatever??" Ahhh anyway.... Talkin so much about Bon Jovi..... I must now cease this.....Cease and desist..... My mother used to tell us to, "Cease and desist!!!" sometimes when we were actin up as kiddies..... Why did she think she was a judge or a lawyer or in the government or whoever says stuff like that??? Bizarre.
Anyway.... you know what was a dismal story? The one where hardly anyone showed up to Lilly's birthday party! Oyyy....... It reminded me of that scene from the movie, Little Man Tate, where he hands out invitations to everyone in the playground and as recess is ending all the invitations are swirling around in the blowing wind cause all the kids threw them away and didn't care......... Oh I haaaate that scene! When I saw that film I didn't think that I could make it passed that lil segment....... It made me a heartbroken mess! I managed to make it through to see him sittin in his house at the empty table...decorated for his birthday.....no one showed up....... Please..... After that part I was like, "Fuck this!!!!" I'm can't watch this..... It was killing me!!! Cryin, all this shit..... forget it..... I've never seen that movie the whole way through just cause I can't get passed that part.......as many times as it has been on cable..... No.....
Forget it, Brian will just bring up that sad spectacle..... describing the scene....JUST to see if I will will cry again.... and I do!! I know what you're thinking.... "WHY would somebody do that???" I know, I agree with you...Why toy??.. Apparently though, "It's fun!" Sooo...... Anyway, if I were an actress and had to cry on cue I would conjure that Little Man Tate...... as my....motivation...That shit kills me....in a bad way.... Ack.... I'm surprised I could even type this to ya...... I'll keep on moving.... keep typey no thinky..... like usual...... Anyway...... That was weak sauce....
Hey, you know what I loved? I loved Ron's Susie Essman story.... about how he ran into her on the street and she was like, " Raaawn, Rawnnn......It's mee! Susie Esssman!!!" and how she introduced him to her man, "This is Rawnnn....Remember I told told you about the wonderful interview...??? I FUCKING told you about Rawwwnn from XM radio!!!" Yeah..I loved that story.. a totally Curb Your Enthusiasm moment..... So funny...
I was thinkin... What if doin all these Unmaskeds turned Ronnie B.'s life into an East Coast version of Curb....... I mean... obviously I wouldn't want it to all be fraught with Larry David-esque cringey, uncomfortable situations......one after the next...... but I'm sayin....just keep runnin into all these characters.....
Of course if Ron keeps seein Susie Essman or Jeff Garlin around town, that's pretty text-book Curb Your Enthusiasm..... but like... maybe another time Ron'd chance to encounter Brian Regan here or there.... and Regan would tell him a quick story and Ron would be all, "NO WONDER you're feelin awkward!" or perhaps Ronnie would bump into Bob Newhart and Ron would tell him that he was not a fan of this sandwich that was named for him....."The Bennignton".. and how he wanted to trade... and Bob Newhart would be like, "No, my sandwich is made with Vermont aged cheddar.....It wouldn't even make sense!" and then maybe Ron would have to be like...."Uhh...but YEAH... It WOULD make sense...cause sure in your show you ran an Inn in Vermont.... but like...Bob... there is totally also a Bennington Vermont...." Yeah that would be nuts... Oh.... or another time what if Ron saw Gallagher headin his way......... and had to quickly cross the street.....
Yeah.... That would all be pretty wild.... Oooh I'm just rambling.... I'm just sayin.... It would be really weird....and great....at least for me...to hear about em... if Ron continued having Curb Your Enthusiasm moments... New York style...and stuff....
OK! I better let yez go....... Enough outta me.... Peace out-
Signed,
kathleen from the bronx :):):)
Whew!!! Whoa....Hold on a second! Let me catch my breath here!! Are you tellin me that Bon Jovi sucks??! Well this came as quite a shock.........
I know what you're thinking....."You've had many, many hours to get over the news, at this point." Yeah, you're right.... I was just being over-dramatic anyway..... I was also originally gonna say, "This came as quite a shock.......until I remembered that I've known that MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!!" I'm glad that I didn't add that cause then it'd be all over-dramatic, sarcastic, AND senselessly combative...??? And why be like that??? Yeah.... Anyway... so Bon Jovi.....
It was pretty interesting to me to hear Eddie Trunk, "Bon Jovi fan since day-one," call in about his changed opinion of the band..... Cause you know, it's old hat to hear some bird like me go off about not diggin the Jovi......of course..... but it's highly fascinating to hear about what makes a long-time fan change their mind..... What was the last straw?? What'd they do to ya, my boy??!!!?
Eddie Trunk said that for all the money fans are spending to go out n see Bon Jovi, the band did not nearly give em a show..... They had no energy.....They all walked through it mechanically.....and Jon Bon Jovi appeared to have some sense of pomposity..... in an, "I'm Jon Bon Jovi; behold me!" kinda way...... Somethin like that.... even when they were playin to their Jersey home-crowd......
I was tryin to think....were there any bands that I've turned around on....... I couldn't think of any....If I had anything relatable it would be pretty easy to recall, right? .... Cause the change of heart would have had to be after something historically bad.....or embarrassing enough to want to share....... Hmmm... nope... So then I started wondering if my cousin still liked Bon Jovi....
She was another one of these, "Bon Jovi fan since day-one,"s.......Believe me.... One Christmas in the late mid-eighties, she was in her early late-twenties....and I was about eight.... She had gotten two of the same Bon Jovi calendars that year and so she was like, "Oh here! You can have the other one!" and I faked it and acted like, "Oh yay! Thanks.." cause I didn't want to be rude and blurt out, "That's NOT goin up on my wall!"
I don't know what my problem was, but for some reason I couldn't stand the thought of even bringing it home with me..... so I devised a plan..... I left it behind a sofa cushion in their living room.... At the time I thought that it was a very stealthy move....as if it would suggest that certainly I had really WANTED to take it home with me, but had just inadvertently forgotten it as I was sitting there on the couch with it.........
Now I'm thinking that it probably was mad UN-stealthy....and obvious....and I'm wondering if that move is the reason why that cousin of mine has never really seemed to like me...... I'm goin over things now and I can't recall if I started gettin that vibe pre-calendar incident or post-calendar incident......... Hmmm......It never came up at all......and yet..... I am currently believing that this whole Bon Jovi calendar thing is the root...... Woo! Breakthrough...
Anyway, during those years I noticed that Bon Jovi and so many other bands had the same hair as my older Long Island girl-cousins........ Bon Jovi had the same hair as suburban chicks their age. That they still do....is one of my favorite facts ever!!! Yes, the styles have changed... What was once mall high-hair is now a modern, sassy layered-'do..... Which came first...the girl hair...or..? I find myself at the edge here, about to plummet into some kind of take on, "the-chicken-or-the-egg," debate..... No...no.... step back.... It matters not...... Whew... that was a close one..
So by this point the hair bands have evolved their look to, "slightly-edgier soccer-mom"..... but ya know... no style ever completely goes away....even the ole 80's hair band fan look.... There is always some one willing to hang tough.....Make-over shows are full of them.... It's kind of exciting to run across a true, "stuck-in-a-look," person though..... Like, "Hey! You're the one who still searches out jackets with extreme shoulder pads!" It's almost admirable.... in a strange, strange way... Right, fuck it! It's your look, shine on.... It must take tenacity.... It's like when I still, to this day, see dudes rockin Zoobaz in Wildwood....You keep finding them, where do they find them??? I applaud them.... Never say goodbye.... Never say goodbye.........
Last year.....that's correct, in the 2000's..... I was sittin in the van at this gas station in Long Island and I saw a woman still with the high-hair..... spandex pants tucked into slouch socks, wearing those little white Keds...... I wished that I could have taken a picture... cause it's like a rare sighting.... One who has kept with.... the way.... The years of different styles of pants have done nothing to sway....... It's like coming across one lone wanderer who has remained from an almost extinct, indigenous tribe..... It's like, "Whoa! Wassup time-traveler?! Good for you, huh!"
Anyway... you know what your guest, Alicia Witt, has in common with Bon Jovi? They were both on Ally McBeal for some episodes.... Lil factoid there... Yeah I used to watch Ally McBeal.....not necessarily voluntarily...... My mother in-law was into it and she's a great cook.... and sooo.... When I was livin over there we'd eat her good cookin and watch FOX shows...... Eh... so apparently I'd rather paint myself as a hideous user rather than as one who would go out of their way to watch Ally McBeal....... That's one problem I have..... Anyway, it was fun to watch that with the moms in-law cause sometimes she'd yell out stuff about, "The Beal," as she called her.....like..... "OOooh I am so sick of her grapefruit head!!!" Heeeh hehhhh.... She thought Beal had a really small head..... I'd think sometimes, "Wait, so you don't like this show either? So what's goin on here??" Cause if I randomly screamed, "OOOH Law! Such funny-business!!!" She seemed aggravated..... Ahh welll...
I wonder if this whole, Bon Jovi acting thing is an "In-your-face!" To Richie Sambora or something.... Hmmm....something calculated.....or is it subconscious resentment?? Maybe it's like Jon thinks, "You may be (have been, now) married to an actress, Sambora..... but I....Jon Bon Jovi... am an ACTOR!" Nah.... I'm just being silly...... That's crazy...... Jon Bon Jovi was in Homegrown, remember??? The whole time I saw him in that film I thought, "Why would someone have that hair on a Northern California commune or whatever??" Ahhh anyway.... Talkin so much about Bon Jovi..... I must now cease this.....Cease and desist..... My mother used to tell us to, "Cease and desist!!!" sometimes when we were actin up as kiddies..... Why did she think she was a judge or a lawyer or in the government or whoever says stuff like that??? Bizarre.
Anyway.... you know what was a dismal story? The one where hardly anyone showed up to Lilly's birthday party! Oyyy....... It reminded me of that scene from the movie, Little Man Tate, where he hands out invitations to everyone in the playground and as recess is ending all the invitations are swirling around in the blowing wind cause all the kids threw them away and didn't care......... Oh I haaaate that scene! When I saw that film I didn't think that I could make it passed that lil segment....... It made me a heartbroken mess! I managed to make it through to see him sittin in his house at the empty table...decorated for his birthday.....no one showed up....... Please..... After that part I was like, "Fuck this!!!!" I'm can't watch this..... It was killing me!!! Cryin, all this shit..... forget it..... I've never seen that movie the whole way through just cause I can't get passed that part.......as many times as it has been on cable..... No.....
Forget it, Brian will just bring up that sad spectacle..... describing the scene....JUST to see if I will will cry again.... and I do!! I know what you're thinking.... "WHY would somebody do that???" I know, I agree with you...Why toy??.. Apparently though, "It's fun!" Sooo...... Anyway, if I were an actress and had to cry on cue I would conjure that Little Man Tate...... as my....motivation...That shit kills me....in a bad way.... Ack.... I'm surprised I could even type this to ya...... I'll keep on moving.... keep typey no thinky..... like usual...... Anyway...... That was weak sauce....
Hey, you know what I loved? I loved Ron's Susie Essman story.... about how he ran into her on the street and she was like, " Raaawn, Rawnnn......It's mee! Susie Esssman!!!" and how she introduced him to her man, "This is Rawnnn....Remember I told told you about the wonderful interview...??? I FUCKING told you about Rawwwnn from XM radio!!!" Yeah..I loved that story.. a totally Curb Your Enthusiasm moment..... So funny...
I was thinkin... What if doin all these Unmaskeds turned Ronnie B.'s life into an East Coast version of Curb....... I mean... obviously I wouldn't want it to all be fraught with Larry David-esque cringey, uncomfortable situations......one after the next...... but I'm sayin....just keep runnin into all these characters.....
Of course if Ron keeps seein Susie Essman or Jeff Garlin around town, that's pretty text-book Curb Your Enthusiasm..... but like... maybe another time Ron'd chance to encounter Brian Regan here or there.... and Regan would tell him a quick story and Ron would be all, "NO WONDER you're feelin awkward!" or perhaps Ronnie would bump into Bob Newhart and Ron would tell him that he was not a fan of this sandwich that was named for him....."The Bennignton".. and how he wanted to trade... and Bob Newhart would be like, "No, my sandwich is made with Vermont aged cheddar.....It wouldn't even make sense!" and then maybe Ron would have to be like...."Uhh...but YEAH... It WOULD make sense...cause sure in your show you ran an Inn in Vermont.... but like...Bob... there is totally also a Bennington Vermont...." Yeah that would be nuts... Oh.... or another time what if Ron saw Gallagher headin his way......... and had to quickly cross the street.....
Yeah.... That would all be pretty wild.... Oooh I'm just rambling.... I'm just sayin.... It would be really weird....and great....at least for me...to hear about em... if Ron continued having Curb Your Enthusiasm moments... New York style...and stuff....
OK! I better let yez go....... Enough outta me.... Peace out-
Signed,
kathleen from the bronx :):):)