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11/14-11/15/07 "Your memories are run through a fun-house mirror." [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard

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Kathleen From The Bronx
11-16-2007, 08:16 AM
Dear Ron and Fez Shooow,

Hey....On Wednesday's show you guys were talking about Marie Osmond.....about how she decided not to take off her dancin shoes. After randomly opening The Bible to Ecclesiastes 3:4, she knew what she hadda dooo because the verse that she stumbled upon directed her; "A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance." Fezzie was irate cause he said that verse was about the most famous or cliche line that could possibly arise.... and what were the chances!?! He thought that she was a fraud.... Ronnie was sayin that it's all subconscious anyway......that you might be able to pick up just about any book, open to any page, and be able to find a passage that would seem perfect to lead you.....It's all subconscious anyway..... It's all telling you, "Do what you want to do."

That was very interesting to me, because many times I will be reading and a certain phrase will seem to jump out at me. I'll feel surprised that it seems to apply perfectly to whatever situation.....like it's a symbol or a sign to me....... So..... I thought I'd give it a try again.... like a kind of experiment based on what Ronnie said........

So, the ole gal picked up a little book that she'd often reached for, for inspiration..... The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test, by Tom Wolfe.... I closed my eyes, and flipped through the pages, back and forth, until I thought, "OK! Now! Stop!" and landed on page 145... As I opened my eyes, they were drawn to the bottom of the page and I read, "Everybody, everybody everywhere, has his own movie going, his own scenario, and everybody is acting his movie out like mad, only most people don't know that is what they're trapped by, their little script."

Man! So that works... it's true! After all, I bet that subconsciously I did want to sit here and talk about the subjectivity of experience....and merry pranksters! Yeah... that quote though... I feel like it's right on...

I mean, you know how it is if you have siblings..... You grow up together, often taking part in seemingly identical activities and situations.... and yet... it seems so many times... that in memory, our accounts don't always jibe... For instance, I could be going on and on about one of the great times we were back up in NYC.......like say, St. Patrick's Day 2000... I'll natter on about everybody we were hanging out with....walking all over the city...fun times.... and my brother will say, "Remember you smacked the shit outta me on 38th Street at four in the morning?" Oh yeah! I had forgotten about that! Ahhh.... at least we both agree it was a great night...and that some people need to be taught a lesson...

Different directors, given the very same script, will shoot the story in disparate ways...... We can have very differing interpretations...

In Fezzie's movie, a bedtime story about a peddler who gets his hats stolen from some monkeys is terrifying..... all the monkeys and their mean faces...They were cruel and scary.... In my movie, the very same tale told, features playful and rascally monkeys...... Ronnie said to Fez, "We've seen your, 'scary book,' and we've met your, 'scary mother,' so we know now not to trust your memories!" He added, ""Your memories are run through a fun-house mirror!!"

Damn dude! Fun-houses are scary.... Do even three people in the universe enjoy a fun-house?? If you've ever taken the time to watch Scooby-Doo, you know that only spooky things happen there...... Fun-houses are not as fun as the name suggests..... They are more creepy.....and there seems to be like an inordinate amount of murders that take place there if you watch bad T.V. and movies...... Well, perhaps that is just my perception... my movie....Who knows....

In Fezzie's movie he first thought that his cat's swollen belly was a sure sign of kittens to come.... Later we would come to find out that, in fact, this was not to be the case. Fezzie screamed with disgust, "They're not kittens!! My cat is full of shit!!!!" Ron whispered, "As are you Fez...... as are you...."

Nah man.....remember, I've been talkin about this.... It's just HIS movie....... Oh yeah, but that line made me cackle..........

Poor Skippy was diagnosed with having a colon filled with, "twelve shit balls." Wow......... Poor cat....Poor Fezzie!

Unfortunately upon hearing that news, it was met with a flash of an image in my mind... my movie....... where after Fezzie had done this good deed and adopted a cat..... as he was walking away, the two ole bats at the Village Cat Shack breathed a collective sigh of relief..... "Phew.... We finally unloaded Shitballs!" they say.... You see, they've had that lil nick name for the cat since they found her....Skippy was just some name they made up on the spot....Maybe they had to remind themselves NOT to refer to her as, "Shitballs," when the nice man was considering adopting her... Their relief transforms into jubilation then.... "We did it!" ...High fives..... "Let's celebrate!" they yell... and they break out that bottle of champagne that they've been saving for a special occasion....

The two women lift their glasses in a toast, "Cheers! And...Adiiiioooos Shitballs!"

They laugh and hug, the pranksters...... (AND SCENE)

For the record, I know that this is an insane scene, and probably not true..... Just my dopey movie...... I'm sure that any reasonable other person's movie will depict these ole ladies as sweet and kind......and that they had no prior knowledge of Skippy's prior shitball issues due to eating, "eating pennies and toy soldiers," as Ronnie said........ I know... It's just my interpretation........

I mean, I could be totally off here.... It is a possibility! Another example lies in the fact that Fezzielou hates libraries...... haaaaaates em..... He sees the librarians as crotchety ole grannies...not the kindly variety....Librarians who rule in tyranny..... "They think that they own the world of knowledge!!!" Fez screamed... Man, I sure do love the New York Public Library, but I have to admit, Fezzie's movie about the library had me just rollin..... What can I tell you? I love, love a Fez rant....even when they include wild accusations and a bizarre hatred of The Dewey Decimal System..... So fuckin funny.....

The crazy thing is, that in my movie about the New York Public Library, the librarians have always been really nice and helpful.... and I enjoy being able to read books for free.... and in my movie you don't have to worry about evil Dewey.... or card catalogs..... because I have been to a library in the past twenty years, so they have these things called, "computers," now.... Oh! but in my movie you still are not allowed to yell or eat muffins either :0)

Well, I don't mean to ramble here! Don't mean to go on and on about how peoples' perceptions of similar circumstances could be so very different...... I mean, if Burt Reynolds is a great actor in Dave's eyes... That's his movie! Dave became all indignant at Ron because he said that, "You could be a bad actor...always winking at the screen like Burt Reynolds," when he was talking to Michael C. Hall from Dexter..... Dave just did not agree....In my movie I also agree with what Ron said here, which made me laugh and laugh, "I'm basically saying that visually most of what Burt Reynolds does is like blowing a guy at the bus station." Dave was adamant though, "If you watch Showgirls, and just watch Burt Reynolds, you'll see... He's a really great actor!"

That's one point he made..... Hmmm.... In my movie, people generally don't watch SHOWGIRLS for Burt Reynolds....Ever..... but hey, whadda I know?

I dunno..... cause in my movie.... though I know that Michael C. Hall is AN ACTOR who plays Dexter, the serial killer that ya just can't help rooting for...... eeeven though I know it is a part......and eeeven though I was so diggin the interview........ in my movie, I was still a little bit nervous and worried that at some point yez might find yourself in a studio covered in plastic..... Wheew! Thankfully that wasn't a plot twist....!

Oh wait.... Dexter only kills bad people! Ahhhhh seee, I had nuthin to worry about in my dumb ass movie after all! Cause you peoples are the bestest eever..... Also I had nothing to worry about as I know that Michael C. Hall is.......again... an actor! Ahhhh... I'm a dope..... I just kept seein that killer-face he does when he kind of smiles, yet looks demonic......peering up through his eyebrows....... Anyway! That interview was really cool....

I'm gonna stop rambling now... Just wanted to tell yez real quick about the lil experiment I conducted, flipping to a page in a random book....... to see what I'd find...... to make me ramble about.....

Oooh! Today's the RnF Thanksgiving Shooow! I better go! Peace out homies....

Signed,

kathleen from the bronx :):):)

Lurkin McWeirdo
11-16-2007, 10:11 AM
Fez: What is the cat named?
Ole Gal one: Skippy
Ole Gal two: (pulls Pall Mall out of mouth)mutters to self: only thing that pile skips are her movements.......:nono:

:devil2:"Oh wait.... Dexter only kills bad people"
It don't make you bad people :furious:

drjoek
11-16-2007, 10:42 AM
3/12/66

drjoek
11-16-2007, 11:35 AM
http://www.spirer.com/images/mirror.jpg

Kathleen From The Bronx
11-16-2007, 11:37 AM
http://www.spirer.com/images/mirror.jpg

Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!



The ole gal feels like puking now! Fun-houses.... Bah!

Kathleen From The Bronx
11-16-2007, 11:39 AM
3/12/66


This time I'm not SCREAMING, "AHHHHH!" It's like a musing, "Ahhhh...." Just to be clear....

Ahhhh, Pico.... I wish I was there 3/12/66........ ! I really, really do...... Like...SO many of my favorite peoples were there...... Ahhhhh......man...

:):):)

buzzard
11-16-2007, 11:40 AM
I guess I'll have to quit handing my wife a bowl of ice and actually watch showgirls
you rawk Bronxy,see ya in the library!:clap:

Kathleen From The Bronx
11-16-2007, 11:54 AM
I guess I'll have to quit handing my wife a bowl of ice and actually watch showgirls
you rawk Bronxy,see ya in the library!:clap:

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i295/kathleenbx/angrylibrarian.jpg


Thanks Buzz :0)

WampusCrandle
11-16-2007, 03:24 PM
another great blog, KFTB! i think you should make a book and put all of your threads in it - sell it, and live on easy street . . . . a few streets away from ol' Ron Bennington

djjd
11-16-2007, 04:09 PM
it's funnty that dave would be such a burt reynolds fan, that's who i picture guy guyerson looking like

http://groovyvic.mu.nu/archives/images/262653~Burt-Reynolds-Posters.jpg

ralphbxny
11-19-2007, 10:45 AM
it's funnty that dave would be such a burt reynolds fan, that's who i picture guy guyerson looking like

http://groovyvic.mu.nu/archives/images/262653~Burt-Reynolds-Posters.jpg


Thats absolutely true! Guy Guerson should look like Bert Renolds with Red hair and a pot belly from too many dinners on the road and beers with the other writers!


And KAthleen your right...people havent watch movies for Bert Reynolds in 20 years!

King Hippos Bandaid
11-19-2007, 11:06 AM
im gonna miss the blogs

can u please blog the best ofs

:king:

TeeBone
11-19-2007, 07:46 PM
I really have enjoyed reading these Blogs, Bronx. You are a unique writer. I hasten to say that because it reads like someone else is recording on paper what you are saying. It's an underused technique and it comes off extremely funny. I very seldom laugh out loud at written text but yours is truly amusing.
Thanks again for putting me to sleep and I mean that in the nicest way possible. Reading this and laughing helps with the insomnia.

You rock, Bronx!!!!!

WampusCrandle
11-19-2007, 07:51 PM
I really have enjoyed reading these Blogs, Bronx. You are a unique writer. I hasten to say that because it reads like someone else is recording on paper what you are saying. It's an underused technique and it comes off extremely funny. I very seldom laugh out loud at written text but yours is truly amusing.
Thanks again for putting me to sleep and I mean that in the nicest way possible. Reading this and laughing helps with the insomnia.

You rock, Bronx!!!!!

to simply put it, she is phenomenal!

Marc with a c
11-23-2007, 11:35 AM
second worse part of the ron and fez vacations is not having these to read.

at least blog about something don't make me go read snoogans blog.