Unfulfilled Aspirations

[Gvac]

Please keep in mind that this is the "That's Life" forum and all replies should be serious and respectful.



We've all got 'em - things we set out to accomplish or dreamed of accomplishing when we were younger yet for one reason or another never got around to achieving. Some long for fame or wealth, but my dream has always been a fairly mundane but nonetheless significant one, and so far I've been unable to attain it. All I've ever wanted was to be a husband and a father.

I'm 41 years old, and speaking honestly (not egotistically) I can say that I'm a young 41. I've got tons of energy and drive and I like to think that I'm "young-minded" as well. I am, however, at an age when most people have already started a family. Even if I were to get married tomorrow I'd be an old dad. With no prospects on the horizon it appears I'm going to be a REALLY OLD dad if it ever happens. I'd be lying if I said the thought doesn't depress me a little bit. The idea of never having a family of my own is just too devastating to visualize so I won't even allow my mind to consider it.

I've been around long enough to know that certain things cannot be forced into existence so all I can do is keep on trying to find that one woman who shares my dream. She's gotta be out there somewhere.

There's a line from a Bonnie Raitt song that states "Life gets mighty precious when there's less of it to waste" and it hits home far more now than when I first heard it in my early 20's.

Funny how time slips away.

Anybody else care to share?

[Don Stugots]

Greg, I feel for you, I have been there and it sucked. I wont go into my own Aspirations that are Unfulfilled like you asked because I am working on them.

i will tell you that for as hard and bleek as things look, they change, they get better. Trust me, I have been lower than the gutter and have been as high as can be. As much as you want something, it doesnt mean that you get it.


You are not alone, Stay Strong.

[OneEyeJack]

you can always adopt a 15 yr old...

[Hottub]

I am on the other side looking in, Greg. I have a great wife, 2 awesome kids, a modest house in the suburbs, etc. Hell, I even owned a '63 Cadillac, went swimming with stingrays, been to 3 continents... but.

I have never sang in a rock band. Never had a threesome, owned more than 1 car at a time. I never have FU money to run out to AC, take the Mrs. for a fancy dinner, or a nice hotel suite.

It's all perspective, bro.

Sometimes I can be a bit selfish, and want those things I have missed out on, but I look at my kids (Straight A's), Sandy (Grrowl) and realize, it ain't so bad.

Maybe in my 50's, I can buy that beach house, MG roadster and kegorator.

Take a step back, and count your blessings.

[Gvac]

I appreciate the supportive sentiments boys, but to be perfectly honest I was looking for other members to share their hopes and desires, not hold a pity party for myself.

And even though I went so far as to remind everyone what forum this was, it's great to see there are still some members who feel the need to shit on every thread.

And you people wonder why I get so frustrated with this place sometimes.

[Bossanova]

Well my aspirations run a bit different my friend. I have never had a desire to get married nor have children. I have never had a job that I absolutely fell in love with.

I have two things that have yet to accomplish. One was go as far in hockey as I could. I just wish I could have kept my knees together and see how far I could have taken my ability. Maybe if I worked harder, or rehabbed with more intensity I could have finished my college career.

The other would be my inability to take relationships serious. I am a dark comedic ass who self destructs in every relationship. I suck at communicating and sharing with a woman, and feel the need to insert a funny quip into any situation (right or wrong). My current chick and I have been toether for 3 plus years (by far the longest) and I still find ways to isolate myself. I love her with everything, but I know I will eventually kill this thing and move on to the next poor girl. Though I have no aspirations of getting married, I would love to see what that feeling is like.

Ecck, I have to go make a dick joke in another thread now

[Hottub]

I was not kidding. I have never been a singer for a rock band. Maybe it has to do with my average looks, and average voice. Maybe I just need more attention. Lord knows, I call every single show that TINR has to offer. The occasional Ron and Fez call. I even called The Hideout!

After my 5 day tribute to Freddie Mercury, it makes me want to perform even more.

As I said, average looks, average voice, and moderately funny will not get me there.

I also was not kidding about the threesome.

[ChrisTheCop]

Growing up, right up until high school, I always "knew" Id be a veterinarian.
My high school math performance took care of that dream.

Once I decided on a career in law enforcement, I thought Id be a detective by now. I'm intuitive enough, but it turns out you also have to know how to kiss ass... a skill I have yet to acquire in this life. So I went the supervisory route.

My 2 current aspirations may never transpire either, but you gotta dream big; 1) Play (and place) in the WSOP. 2) Retire to Brazil.

Life is full of little disappointments; Our success is measured on how well we handle them.


(I will answer Sailor's upcoming question in pm so as not to digress from the thread's purposes.)

[sailor]

why brazil?

[CofyCrakCocaine]

When I was a lad I imagined that by the time I was 25 (which I passed on by this year) that I would A) be married B) have a red convertible C) have a great paying job D) look like Jason Priestly (I had these thoughts in the early 90's mind you). I can safely say that none of these things have come to pass so far. I was getting pissed with myself when I turned 23 and things weren't going the way I wanted them to.

I'm now older than I'm comfortable with being at this stage in my life ("still a student without a great paying job and 26 what the hell's wrong with me?" etc.) and I look at 21 year old dads with a bit of envy. I wanna be able to run around and be energetic and with it and be awake most of the day to tend to my kids too... and I want to have the promise of knowing them for a long time. It's a weird thing, because I know if I had a kid I'd be looking right the opposite direction to the place I'm at right now and wish like hell I was there. I know I'm still sorta young, but it doesn't make me feel much better because I feel like things need to be done fast, which ain't necessarily the right way to see things, but it's what gets me to get things done so who knows.

The sense of not fulfilling these aspirations that we've set out for ourselves is the principal problem between me and my chick. I could stand to wait a couple more years before I'm having a kid, but it's a different story for her. Everything else with us is fine... but time is not on our side all of a sudden, and I've found myself 200% more busy lately trying to make right any perceived wrongs I've made... and make up for at least some lost time. There's my share. I hope it wasn't too self-important or nothin'...

One bit o' encouragement for ya... My old man was a few years older than 40 when I was born... and he's been and still is a great father to me.

[Don Stugots]

G, I never in my life thought I would have to married three times until I got it right. When I was a teen, I wanted to be a police officer. Either K-9 or Highway. I took the test when I was 16 scored really high. I took the mental and medical exam and aced them as well. Well along came RUDY and wanted to change the requirements for new cadets to be 21 years old and be a college grad. I was neither at the time and by the time I was the list I was on for the test I took would have been tossed out. At that point, I gave up. All my hard work was for nothing.

My life went into another direction or two but last month I did think about going for it again at 34 years old.

[reillyluck]

im not going to post my unfulfilled apsirations because there are too many to list. what i will post is that you are a great person and anyone who knows you will agree. there is only one you. you are the creator of yourself and your everyday struggles. you cannot dwell on what you will be as you may think "the old dad". this is not the case in your book. you are unlike any 41 i know. you're handsome, talented, funny, sophisticated and above all the most kind and passionate man i know.

people on this board bust your balls about your age, but im sure most of them wish they were you. you're highly respected by this board, all the talent on "The Ron and Fez Show" and especially from what i witnessed "your real life friends". you mean a great deal to people. regardless of what your destiny is, you've accomplished a great amount of respect and love, thats more than most people can say.

its never to late to start a family and its never too late to find love. You will find these things, it might even find you first.

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

The idea of never having a family of my own is just too devastating to visualize so I won't even allow my mind to consider it.

I hear ya! Ever since my dad died, God, almost 20 years ago, I've wanted a family of my own. I've never really wanted kids so, at 40, I'm not devastated that it didn't happen. I just thought that by now I would have found the "right guy" and had a house and dog or two. BUT I've been through so much shit trying to find a guy I can really truly get along with that I'm really ok if it never happens.

I think I have to be or else it would just break my heart too much.

[FUNKMAN]

my 51 year old brother has a 9 year old daughter and my 50 year old brother has a 6 year old son, so I say it's not too late by a longshot.

i'm 45 and have a 17 and 15 year old and I'll be honest with you "It scares me to death" thinking about having another child. Diapers, kindergarten, etc etc. I look at my older brothers and almost always say " glad it's fucking not me " :smile:

best wishes to you no matter what you choose to do!

[patsopinion]

allz i wanna do is be a intern on ron fez
at least thats the short term goal

[Thebazile78]

I don't really have any aspirations. Which surprises a lot of people, especially the ones who tell me that I'm talented and smart and whatever, but I did when I was a kid.

When I was 6, I saw a made-for-TV movie about Nadia Commaneci and I decided that I wanted to be a gymnast. My mother signed me up for a "semester" at an elite gymnastics school where a sport I'd loved as a smaller kid suddenly became a cause for anxiety and distress. I was taller than all the other girls and, even though I'd been taking tumbling and other "gymnastic-like" classes since I was 4, I was woefully unprepared for the rigors of the class.

I haven't attempted so much as a cartwheel since.

When I learned what a dinosaur hunter was called, I decided that's what I would do. I was 8 and I wanted to be a paleontologist. When I was 10, my mother told me that they don't earn any money.

So I switched gears.

Being a good student in the sciences, I was reluctant to give up on that forever. So I decided I was going to be a pediatrician.

After realizing that higher-education's idea of life-sciences was memorize-memorize-memorize and not memorize-apply-analyze-report, which was how I nearly failed my freshman biology course, I decided that maybe I wasn't cut out for medicine, either.

Then I wanted to be a political speechwriter. I've been reading William Safire's "On Language" column in the NY Times Magazine since I can remember...and still do. I learned that he'd been a speechwriter for years before he got his column.

Then, I majored in English in college.

If I'd taken the time to consider the additional impact and opportunities a double-major in English and Political Science would have had on actually accomplishing the goal of becoming a political speechwriter, maybe I would have done it.

I just haven't taken the time to consider the impact of my decisions on what I want out of life.

Recently, I've started taking stock of my life and the direction it's headed. Aside from my lousy attitude, I've done OK:
- I finished high school and I earned my BA in 4 years. (This may not sound like much, but a lot of folks are taking longer to finish their bachelors' degrees.)
- I've held a steady, albeit life-sucking, job for almost 7 years.
- I have a loving family and close friends who I wouldn't trade for all the cash and fake islands in the UAE. (And that's the truth.)

Apparently, I have the potential to do more, but since I don't allow myself the luxury of "aspirations," I don't do much.

I once read a great quote that I'm going to mangle here:

"When building your castles in the air, don't forget to give them a solid foundation."

My foundation is my wealth of experience in both my professional life and my personal life. Now the challenge is finding something I can do that will be professionally and personally fulfilling. (It's hard!)

[RAAMONE]

why brazil?

fart porn

[Death Metal Moe]

My personal unfulfilled aspirations are too personal to me to post but just thought I'd add a "I understand completey" to the thread.

Life is just a big let down. We're raised with the "You can be anything you want to be" lie all childhood. Then when the mundane everyday reality of adulthood hits, it's hard to swallow.

I think we should always work for goals and dreams but you have to swallow a certian amout of the fact that life sucks and you have to deal with that.

Also, make sure your unfulfilled aspirations are yours and not ones that others have told you that you should be reaching for.

[mendyweiss]

Hey !! Mendy will be 54 in December, And I still can fry my 14 year old and his friends on the basketball court. I could take care of his 14 year girlfriends too, if the law allowed.
Age don't mean shit. HAng in there

[Jujubees2]

I don't have real aspirations (except to play short for the Red Sox but that was dashed years ago) but I do carry around a list in my wallet of things I want to do before I die. Included on the list are:

Speak fluent Italian
Learn to play the sax
Get a master's degree in Communications
Bike across the U.S.

It's funny because getting married and having a family never was an aspiration of mine. But when I was 30, I met that special someone and now I'm 45, married for 13 years and have a 12 and ten year old who are great kids.

[mikeyboy]

fart porn

I am going to point out once again what forum this is in. Serious and respectful posts only.

[RAAMONE]

I am going to point out once again what forum this is in. Serious and respectful posts only.

i wasnt being disrespectful to anyone in the thread nor was in mean spirited in any way...just couldnt resist...sorry i'll save it for the other threads but anyway...

i am only 26 but i thought i would have my life in order by now since i have been outta college for a couple years...you know...nice house, possibly married, saving money...but that is not the case. i learned that everyone goes to college now and a four year degree in psychology doesnt really get you anywhere...do rent my own apartment but am living paycheck to paycheck and doesnt seem to be getting anywhere. i dont really have any real aspirations beside the ones that were more like wishful thinking and knew that would not really happen, but i will say that my one real aspiration is just to "be good" you know, just to not have to worry a lot. i dont want to be well off or anything(well it would be nice, but doesnt have to happen) i just want to be ok. guess there still time

[Crispy123]

I wanted to be an astronaut

I dont think its going to happen but if my ashes make it into space, I will consider my life a success.

[SHANEFROMGA]

Always Wanted To Be A Comic Book Artist, But I Got Married And A Mortgage,
With 2 Kids. What Sucks Is The Studio "ex Machina" Artist Tony Harris Works Out Of Is In My Town, And I Know Someone Who Knows Him. Oh Well.

[scorpion]

I can relate with everything here. To be honest I always knew that I was different than what my parents wanted me to be. But being told that what I wanted to do was a road that would lead me nowhere I just accepted everything and followed what would be acceptable career goals and decisions.
I realize now that because of this I never really stuck to it and ended up doing alot of different jobs. Meanwhile I was this closet artist and friends thought I was funny when I acted up.

Time sucks and I do miss not having a family of my own but have a little bit of hope that I can eventually meet someone decent. I had alot of aspirations and now have lost them to time.

The only saving glimmer I see is that I think that I am finally coming to the end of a part of my life that has sucked me dry. I now slowly am getting myself back and going with what I want to do and makes me happy and am find new things I want to accomplish.

[Don Stugots]

Always Wanted To Be A Comic Book Artist, But I Got Married And A Mortgage,
With 2 Kids. What Sucks Is The Studio "ex Machina" Artist Tony Harris Works Out Of Is In My Town, And I Know Someone Who Knows Him. Oh Well.

never too late then. go for it. no joke.

[Ritalin]

never too late then. go for it. no joke.

Church

[RADIO-SHARK]

I always wanted to rob a bank.:devil2:

[SHANEFROMGA]

never too late then. go for it. no joke.

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thanks stugs

[ScottFromGA]

never too late then. go for it. no joke.

really wish he would....


brother of mine has a talent that is going to waste.....:blink:

[Don Stugots]

let's see more Shane O. put it in a different thread for us.