There's a guy jerking off about 30 feet from me right now - What should I do?

[Judge Smails]

I'm sitting in my college library and there's this guy in a corner cubicle who is watching some kind of porn vid on his laptop. He must have chosen the corner cubicle for privacy and I guess he can't tell but I can see his screen from where I am. I can also see that he is occasionally and serepticiously stroking his member under the desk.

I don't want to confront the guy: anyone crazy enough to jerk off in public could be capable of anything. Do I really want to report him to a librarian? That's going to be a pretty embarrassing conversation right there, plus I'll still probably wind up seeing him around campus. Sure, I'd like to move but if I do I won't be able to get a wireless connection on another floor and the buddays will be coming on soon. What should I do O Great Oracle?

[Tall_James]

Finish him off yourself so he will leave quickly.

[boobieman]

Just stare at him with dead eyes and grab your crotch...or just let me be will ya!!!!!


SEE YAYAYAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

[chubbyknuckles]

I'm sitting in my college library and there's this guy in a corner cubicle who is watching some kind of porn vid on his laptop. He must have chosen the corner cubicle for privacy and I guess he can't tell but I can see his screen from where I am. I can also see that he is occasionally and serepticiously stroking his member under the desk.

I don't want to confront the guy: anyone crazy enough to jerk off in public could be capable of anything. Do I really want to report him to a librarian? That's going to be a pretty embarrassing conversation right there, plus I'll still probably wind up seeing him around campus. Sure, I'd like to move but if I do I won't be able to get a wireless connection on another floor and the buddays will be coming on soon. What should I do O Great Oracle?

Tell my father, all is forgiven, and to COME BACK HOME!

[led37zep]

Does he look anything like this?

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y245/njdmmoe/SubwayMoe.jpg

[A.J.]

Do I really want to report him to a librarian?

He deserves his cumuppance.

[donnie_darko]

wow, you're awfully interested in jerking corner guy.

if it was me i'd find the largest group of girls in the library, and plan some sort of secret attack, hopefully he'd be forced to retreat and have to run through the library with a woodie

[MadMatt]

Stand up and yell "Hey, this guy in the end cubicle is masturbating!" as loud as possible. He will probably stop after that. :lol:

I would just change seats if I were you. As you said, someone who beats off in public may be capable of anything. He may also be shy and scared, but do you really want to take that chance? Just go somewhere else.

[EliSnow]

Go up to him, tap him on the shoulder with your left hand, grab your crotch with your right, stare at his crotch and say, "that's hot."

And then enjoy the hilarity.

[Judge Smails]

I hate to ruin the thread, but I had to do something as no serious solutions were being offered here and his stroking was becoming more and more furious. So, I gave him the old "really obnoxiously loud throat clearing sound" to let him know that I was here. He must have gotten the message because he packed up his laptop a slinked away, no doubt off to rape some coed in one of the dorms.

[buzzard]

I find it hard to believe that you'd pass up the opportunity to do something outrageous or worry about the confrontation! You did start a thread about it though! :lol:

[Judge Smails]

I find it hard to believe that you'd pass up the opportunity to do something outrageous or worry about the confrontation! You did start a thread about it though! :lol:

My persona on here and my real life persona are complete polar opposites. I think I might be schizo.

[Death Metal Moe]

I jerked off in a college library once. But I was good at it.


Or only another guy who was jacking off saw me.

Either way, eh.

[Hosp]

You really should have joined in, then tell him to go to beasttube.com for some really hot shit.

Out perv the perv.

[Don Stugots]

give him doug's home number.

[Dougie Brootal]

:surrender:smails, just dont tell anyone what i was watching, ok?:help:

[buzzard]

My persona on here and my real life persona are complete polar opposites. I think I might be schizo.

or Jezo! :lol: I find both of the polar fields to be massively entertaining,I wish you'd get a job labeling headlines in newspapers If they're anything like yer thread titles...ding dang!:clap:

[ChrisTheCop]

Next time you see him, invite him to your daughter's dance lesson.

[walking joint]

at the library at 10am? we had different college experiences.

[Dan G]

<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/IOc-N6475mY&rel=1&border=0"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/IOc-N6475mY&rel=1&border=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>

And his MySpace (http://www.myspace.com/coopdog310) as a bonus.

EDIT: The video has been removed and apparently the guys MySpace has been edited, as all his pics and info are gone.

[topless_mike]

as always,
this thread is useless without pics....

[MadMatt]

Next time you see him, invite him to your daughter's dance lesson.

:lol::clap::lol:

Nice callback!

[DolaMight]

when in rome

[Doctor Z]

Kill him.

[Gvac]

In less that 24 hours Judge Smails has catapulted to the head of the RFnet class of creeps.

Congrats!

[jauble]

should have stood behind him also jerking...when he turned around to ask you what you were doing put it away and look at him disgusted asking him "what are you gay?"

[Dougie Brootal]

should have stood behind him also jerking...when he turned around to ask you what you were doing put it away and look at him disgusted asking him "what are you gay?"

:lol:

[Death Metal Moe]

In less that 24 hours Judge Smails has catapulted to the head of the RFnet class of creeps.

Congrats!

LordJezo is inconsolable.

[Fallon]

Is it on tape?

http://img258.imageshack.us/img258/3836/bbudro1.jpg

[Judge Smails]

In less that 24 hours Judge Smails has catapulted to the head of the RFnet class of creeps.

Congrats!

How does it make me a creep if some degenerate is making some pants chowder in a library cubicle across from me?

And, as for last night's thread: I suppose if a room full of 16 year old girls in leotards was gyrating their pelvises in your direction, you'd just run out of the building and straight to the nearest church to say a couple of Our Father's. Really!?

http://ss2.weshow.com/thumbnail/us/large/1031.jpg

[Dougie Brootal]

And, as for last night's thread: I suppose if a room full of 16 year old girls in leotards was gyrating their pelvises in your direction,


http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g130/douggrasso/splooge.gif

[badmonkey]

I hate to ruin the thread, but I had to do something as no serious solutions were being offered here and his stroking was becoming more and more furious. So, I gave him the old "really obnoxiously loud throat clearing sound" to let him know that I was here. He must have gotten the message because he packed up his laptop a slinked away, no doubt off to rape some coed in one of the dorms.

So he turned down you're *ahem* offer?

[Kris10]

Wow in the library so early in the morning, who knew. I'll think twice when people say they are going to "study" there.

[joethebartender]

Wow in the library so early in the morning, who knew. I'll think twice when people say they are going to "study" there.

I just "studied" and I'm ready to "study" again! (I "studied" all over my stomach.)

[EliSnow]

Next time it happens, be ready to go get dressed up like this:

http://img223.imageshack.us/img223/7776/scottyjzn4.jpg.

Then tap him on the shoulder and ask him "Can I kiss your mouth?"

[IamFogHat]

How fucking great would it be if you positioned yourself in such a way without him hearing you so that the first thing he saw when he turns around would be your face just fucking staring at him devoid of all emotion.

[topless_mike]

Wow in the library so early in the morning, who knew. I'll think twice when people say they are going to "study" there.

only thing i went to the library for was to take a dump (low traffic bathrooms)

[Ritalin]

That guy's still jerking?

Jesus, finish already.

[Furtherman]

only thing i went to the library for was to take a dump (low traffic bathrooms)

Did you bring a book in there with you, Costanza?

[topless_mike]

Did you bring a book in there with you, Costanza?

does it make me a bad person?

[Furtherman]

does it make me a bad person?

Just as long as it's not Boys Life.

[drusilla]

I'm sitting in my college library and there's this guy in a corner cubicle who is watching some kind of porn vid on his laptop. He must have chosen the corner cubicle for privacy and I guess he can't tell but I can see his screen from where I am. I can also see that he is occasionally and serepticiously stroking his member under the desk.

I don't want to confront the guy: anyone crazy enough to jerk off in public could be capable of anything. Do I really want to report him to a librarian? That's going to be a pretty embarrassing conversation right there, plus I'll still probably wind up seeing him around campus. Sure, I'd like to move but if I do I won't be able to get a wireless connection on another floor and the buddays will be coming on soon. What should I do O Great Oracle?


my RA caught some random older guy doing that in the library my freshman year. it was at like 5 in the afternoon on a wednesday & she called me freaking out about it cause he was in the cubicle right next to her. she reported him to public safety & it made the crime log in the school paper. i miss reading that thing. it always had the most retarded stories. http://media.www.nu-news.com/media/storage/paper600/news/2007/11/29/News/Northeastern.Crime.Log-3122057.shtml

[ralphbxny]

I saw the thread title...then jumped up and closed my shades. Now I see its not about me and I feel like a silly goose!

[KC2OSO]

You really should have joined in, then tell him to go to beasttube.com for some really hot shit.

Out perv the perv.
Dude, just got back from beasttube. Wow. What a mess. I think my ISP may be contacting me. Didn't occur to me that such a site exists. Um, yech.

[Dougie Brootal]

Dude, just got back from beasttube. Wow. What a mess. I think my ISP may be contacting me. Didn't occur to me that such a site exists. Um, yech.

wow is right. this is the greatest site on... ahhhhhhhh forget it! not even im touchin this one!

[SatCam]

ADF has no comment on this story

[AnnoyedGrunt]

In high school there was a guy who was caught jacking off in the library to a Seventeen magazine. Aparently a girl saw him and was still cranking it when she brought the librarian over.

I later saw him in the library at the computer, looking at bikini pictures with the brightness down as far as possible.

[Hosp]

Dude, just got back from beasttube. Wow. What a mess. I think my ISP may be contacting me. Didn't occur to me that such a site exists. Um, yech.

It's a site not to be missed...



According to Mellinda.

[DiabloSammich]

I'm surprised you didn't scare him off with your tape measure.

You should have at least found out his board name.

[Bulldogcakes]

Smails-"HOW DARE HE JERK OFF IN PUBLIC! THATS DISGUSTING!! HE SHOULD DO WHAT THE REST OF US CIVILIZED PEOPLE DO, JERK OFF TO 16 YEAR OLDS IN MY DAUGHTERS DANCE CLASS!!"

[ralphbxny]

:clap:Smails-"HOW DARE HE JERK OFF IN PUBLIC! THATS DISGUSTING!! HE SHOULD DO WHAT THE REST OF US CIVILIZED PEOPLE DO, JERK OFF TO 16 YEAR OLDS IN MY DAUGHTERS DANCE CLASS!!"

:clap:

[Judge Smails]

http://i17.tinypic.com/868p1sw.gif

[IMSlacker]

http://i17.tinypic.com/868p1sw.gif

Holy shit! Time to move.

[topless_mike]

http://i17.tinypic.com/868p1sw.gif

um... creepy that there is sombody out there, but also creepy that you found this.
highly expected from Jezo...