i'm moving to albany !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =(

[drusilla]

so yesterday was match day. or those of you who do not know what match day is, it is the day that a 4th year medical student finds out about their future. after all the residency position interviews a med student goes on he or she has to rank the programs from 1 - ? depending on how many they went to see. all the programs rank all the candidates they met with & a computer spits out a "match." on match day for my boyfriends specialty he got a phone call saying "congratulations you matched at albany!" um, yay? i mean it is huge news that he matched. a lot of people don't & wind up getting screwed. these people either have to try again next year, or forget about their dream & try to be another kind of dr. he ranked 10 programs. 5 of them were in the immediate nyc area, 5 were away, the closest being albany. yeah the other 4 were way more interesting cities, but this one is really really not that far away.

so anyways, considering the fact that we have been together for 5 1/2 years, & we are going to be 30 this year, we finally want to start our lives together. so when he has to move to albany in june, i'm going to go with him. & my mother & brother are angry with me. they are angry with me because i will be giving up "everything" to live in albany with him. i do have a great job down here & i live very close to my family & friends. but me & boyfriend do not have our own place or really our own lives. he's been a student for so long & very nomadic, living out of a duffle bag. i have a nice co-op in queens, but my mom lives there with me. we have never had privacy or the ability to just be alone & relax. they don't understand that we are going to finally start our lives together. yes it blows that i have to look for a new job in a strange city & i really do not have a guarantee that i will find one in my field. yes it sucks that he will be working a lot so i will be by myself for a while until we make new friends. but i'm just sick of living like children & us not having our own lives & own way of being.

my brother isn't really speaking to me & is kind of in denial. when i called him to give him the news yesterday he freaked out & kept saying "no" & "tell them it's unacceptable he needs a position in the city". no matter how many times i told him we have no choice, this is where he has to go, he wouldn't get it. then i had a long talk over lunch with my mother today & she is angry with me for giving everything up here & following him when i will have nothing up there for me. i know that, but there is hope of a new life. i have a few months to look for a new job. & if i can't find one,i probably will not give up this job until i do. so that means i may not make it up there right away, but i cant not go. i can't be away from him again. he lived in philly for the first year of our relationship, & then lived in another country for another two. we're sick of it. we're sick of being apart.

i dunno. i don't even know what's bothering me. i don't know if i am being stupid & i'm in denial or some shit. i guess they are pissed that we are not engaged because i'm going to be giving up everything "for nothing". i just don't know why they can't see things from my point of view. i know they are worried about me, but i don't know why so much. its just terrible that his whole family is all proud & taking us out to celebratory dinners & things while my whole family is pissed.

so anyone know anything about albany? what are the good neighborhoods? where are the ghettos to avoid buying a house? i know nothing of this place, but like i said, it's where i gotta go.

[JerseyRich]

Make sure you wear good shoes or boots.

It's hilly.

[GonzoStyle]

Thank Dr. Greek Fuck for taking away the last and best fiend I had in NY away.

Albany, are there even people there? Dino's gonna be like michael j. fox in Doc Hollywood, it will be like a time machine warp or something. He'll be like the town doctor in one of those backwards towns, they still use leeches and cocaine as medication and x-ray machines aren't allowed cause much like cameras, "they steal your soul!!!". Beth will be left alone on the farm in her overalls and blue hair while dino gets his little doctor satchel and puts on his tweed suit.

"Maw, danny got his wanker stuck in the water pump ageeeeen."

"oh darn, call ole' doc p****s I giyessss."

He's gonna be that doctor, the doctor in the movies that you have to "get on the phone" or "go down to ole' doc p****a place". He is the medical community for the whole town. Of course most of them have no money so they pay him in pies and chocolates, which knowing Dino, will make him happy.

then again anyone who willingly moves to albany must have some sort of head trauma, so maybe he'll be busy.

At least you'll sleep safe, knowing ole sheriff wilkins will protect yee.

[topless_mike]

well, you do what you have to do.
you are going to be 30. by now, you know what is a good move, and what is a bad move.
if you want to be with your bf, and this is where he has to go, you go with him. no other answer will do.

granted things could turn sour when you start living with him (hey, it does happen-not wishing bad things upon you) and you would have to come back to your family, and hear nothing but "i told you so", but thats the chance that adults take.

its selfish for your family to want to keep you close and tell your bf to find something around the city.

so, if you are going, thats it. your mom/bro will have to accept it and get over it.
albany is not the other side of the world from the city.

[hurlmon]

Best of luck with all of it.

Hopefully your family see's what this means to you and they come around. They're probably just shocked and fear the change. Your mom about where she is going to live and your bro now probably feels he's mom's caretaker.

My wife and I went through a similar deal when her brother and sister moved across the country and left us with dealing with her bat shit insane mother.

My wife was pissed at the situation but didn't blame her brother or sister. She realized they had to live their lives. Hopefully your family realizes this as well.

Shit, you mom should be psyched... you landed a doctor :smile:

[GonzoStyle]

In all seriousness, I can honestly say you are makin the right choice, there is no way any human being can grow bitter living with him. I hate the fact that im not gonna be able to come over for 5 hours of awesome trivial pursuit anymore but its for the best. Your brother needs to realize he has his family already and stop being a douche and makin it harder for you. Your mom I get somewhat cause I know her and your situation but still, she also too had her family already. Its your turn now and you're with someone who is doing something worthy. Yes it sucks cause you gotta switch up your whole life for him but thats what being in love with someone requires at times, in this case its a good decision.

Im all alone now tho :sad:

[NortonRules]

go towards the egg...towards the egg. you'll know what i mean soon enough, young one.

[patsopinion]

elaine?




i kyd; i kyd

[ralphbxny]

I spend alot of time in that area for work also and I also wish you guys goodluck. If you guys feel that this is the move and being together is what you want then you should go for it. The Job market isnt as good as it is in NYC but the area is ok.

All I say is dont live in albany. You can live in Saratoga, Ballston Spa, Colonie or one of the many suburbs...Also you will now be like all the Upstate people...talking about snow and remembering the day it was warm last August for 3 hours.

Also they all come down to the city for entertainment anyway so no worries...youll be back alot.

As for your Family they will get over themselves. Its not their life its yours and if its a move you need to make go for it. You will be amazed at how they will be ok with it if you guys move back to NYC with a better job and position in life

Congrats and Good luck to you guys!!

[Bunny™]

Im all alone now tho :sad:
Not for long, son.
As soon as the adoption papers go through, you'll never have to worry about going back to Fenster Hall again!

Isn't Albany north of Toronto? Now we'll just have to have Game Weekends instead of Game Nights......it could be worse, you could've left everything you had to follow your true love and wind up in fucking Jersey.

[GonzoStyle]

You can't put a price on the love garnered by a fuckin doc hollywood reference.

[The Jays]

I am happy for you two, and I'm happy that he is getting his chance to continue his dream, some people don't match on the first time, so, at least he did.

Albany, well, it's not country hickville, it's just a small city-type area in the middle of hickville country, so, lots of driving to be sure.

It's a good thing to make changes in lives, it's refreshing and character building to jerk the wheel of life sometimes, fear of the unknown is something to be embraced and not avoided. I wish your brother would be accepting of your decision, and I know your mom wants you to stay, but, this is what it is, life presents you with choices to make. You and him should start this new chapter in your lives together, put the end to the nomadic travelling back and forth, have a place to call your own, and know that your friends support you in what you want to do.

I'll miss Trivial Pursuit, and Cranium, and Taboo, and crushing you both by 20,000 points in Buzz, and eating tacos and chicken kebobs, and getting to make fun of people who don't get Wayne's World quotes for a whole 20 minutes, but, 5 more months left, and then we'll have to take weekend road trips to finish our board games.

[The Jays]

Im all alone now tho :sad:

i'll be your fwiend :drunk:

[JustJon]

I spent a few years in Albany. All I can say in its favor is that it's 2 hours from NYC, but you should go with him.

[grlNIN]

I still think you should try to find a midway point, even if it's just 45 minutes to Albany, maybe that will help your family cope.

Or like you said with maybe not finding a job in time. Well then, you and Dino find a place in Albany and you pack some of your belongings and move it up there. Then return home and wait a couple of weeks, letting your mom ease into the fact that you will be gone.

I think your brother being angry and scared stems more from the fact of the recent coouple of years and now with the current "thing" that has passed. He might just be worried about other things and overreacting emotionally.

I feel like you should go. The city, your friend, your home and your family will always be waiting for you if things happen to not pan out for whatever reason. It IS only 2 hours, that is not an eternity away and with a home you could have your mom up for a weekend at a time if she feels too detached from you.

I would not feel guilty if i was in your position. You and Dino have constantly been on the back burner in terms of being together physically, so don't pass this opportunity up.

[drusilla]

i'm pretty scared i guess. i was trying to ignore it, but it's just not happening. i guess i have a lot of nervous energy & have started with the nervous talking about things that i don't even realize. my family isn't helping. instead of encouraging me, they are making me more worried about things. i honestly haven't talked to my brother since that initial phone call, but he's mentioned to his wife a while ago that he was going to be upset if i left. & not in a oh man i'll miss her kind of way. he's a lot older than me (16 years) & since my dad died 3 years ago, he's really become the father figure in my life. doesn't help that he's a lawyer & knows the rights & wrongs of things. & we did have a cancer scare with my mother just 2 months ago, but they caught it early & were pretty much able to get right of it & treat it within those two months. dino knew if my mother became truly ill & had to go through much harsher treatments, i wouldn't go with him right away. but we were very very very lucky & everything is turning out to be fine. so yeah, i understand that this is an added stress for both of them. i worry a lot about my mother being on her own. as i have since dad died, but she knew the time would come that i was going to move out.

i want to go & i want to be happy about it. part of me really is, i think i just need certain people in my life to tell me everything is going to be ok.

i appreciate all of your words of encouragement. it is helping a lot.

[drusilla]

i can't wait to get a red pembroke welsh corgi named spaghetti

[Ritalin]

Here's a a couple of things I think you should remember:

You're going to be nervous. That's completely natural and it doesn't mean that you're somehow subconsciously doubting your decision. It's a big move, and you're supposed to be a little nervous about it. No big deal.

You're 30. You're a big girl now. No more living with your mother in a co-op apartment, and no more listening to your brother. You sound perfectly level headed to me, so I'd suggest that perhaps your family's misgivings are more about them than you.

And listen, it may not work out. I'm not being Mister Rain on your Parade, I'm just telling the truth, and I don't think it's that big a deal. I'm sure that everything will be great with you and the Doctor - and I think it's great that the two of you want to stay together up there - but relationships are a "hold your nose and jump in the pool" proposition. You just never know how people are going to be in 1 year, in 3 years or in 10 years. So? Those are the odds, and you make the best decision you can and go with it.

Find a way to do it with a clear mind and you'll be that much happier.

[silera]

White people are so strange. You're moving in with a brain surgeon that loves you. You're not knocked up and you've actually accomplished yourself independently of him prior to this.

You two rule together. Learning to live with each other is going to be exhausting, difficult and tedious but you are best friends and it will work out. Love, patience, tempered hate all in good measure. Tell your mom she could have me as a daughter and she'll knit you a duvet cover for your housewarming party.

I love you.

[Ritalin]

Silera's right.

White people ARE strange.

[Kathleen From The Bronx]

OOoooh woman... It sucks that this is so extra stressful for you... I mean, there's all this emotional stuff for you to deal wit, tryin to get used to the idea yourself....sucks to feel like your family is mad at you on top of it...!! Well.... Like so many people have already said, ya know you have to do what's right for you to be happiest.... Hopefully your fam will start getting used to the idea soon... It's still all new now, right? Ack! I'm just sayin the same ole shite I already said to you!!! OK..... really just sending more hugs. I said take them!! :wub:

[smiler grogan]

Hello,
We have never met but my advice from reading your initial post is to follow your heart and move to Albany. I can understand the nervousness and anxiety about moving but when it comes to matters of the heart I always believe that its worth taking the chance. Whats the worts case scenario? You hate Albany and move out some point down the line.
I say its worth the shot go for it.

[drusilla]

the worst part about this is that there is such a major freak out & his residency is only 6 years, so after that we can come back to nyc. i'm at work right now & my mother actually went to spend the day at my brothers house which is so so so so rare for a saturday unless it's a special occasion. usually she goes on sundays or not at all. the 2 of them are probably having a lovely conversation right now.

[Bunny™]

Or...they could be playing Pictionary.
You're doing the right thing, and you have too many friends to land on if you ever do fall.

[drusilla]

i love all of you guys & appreciate everything. i will miss all the random gatherings. at least we still have a few more months. & then we'll have a big house with enough room for everyone to come up in the summer time. until then... thank god for paltalk :tongue:

[Bunny™]

thank god for paltalk :tongue:
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[angrymissy]

It's a pretty easy drive, you can do it in 1 1/2 hours, and there is an amtrak train that goes into nyc in about 2 hours too! You can still come!

[drusilla]

I said take them!! :wub:


ok ok ok !


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<3


It's a pretty easy drive, you can do it in 1 1/2 hours, and there is an amtrak train that goes into nyc in about 2 hours too! You can still come!


oh missy i hardly knew ye! (& jeff still has no clue who i am) even after all these years. but it is close, when i went to college in boston, i was still home every couple of weeks. of course this depends on the job i get, but i'm sure i will be back & forth a lot. i the first step will be trading in my suv (that i love so much) for a mini or something.

[reillyluck]

Sometimes you have to sacrifice for the people that you love. especially for the person you are in love with. you want to start a life together. im sure its heartbreaking for the people who care about you the most to see you go, but deep down inside they have to understand that you go with the person you are spending your life with. being miles away from the people you love doesnt mean you dont love them.

[grlNIN]

You are so gay sometimes.

They will still have ta interwebzs in Albany, it is still New York.

You join palltalk and you're dead 2 me.

[drusilla]

i'm not the one who went to see ps i love you & liked it!

[GonzoStyle]

you may be in albany but your boobs will always be here.

[Bunny™]

you may be in albany but your boobs will always be here.
Or at least visible from here.

[grlNIN]

i'm not the one who went to see ps i love you & liked it!

So what, Gerard Butler is fine as hell.

[The Jays]

I bet they have chinese karaoke in Albany

[Thebazile78]

My company has an office in Albany and I still have a few pals up there; I can get info for you if you like. PM me if you would like info from people who live there, especially from people who made a big move - one of my buddies moved from San Francisco to Albany, so I think that's the kind of culture-shock perspective you might want.

Depending on where in the city-proper your b.f.'s match-hospital is, you might want to consider living in one of the suburbs. They're really nice, but, much like being down here, they vary by tax bracket, etc.

Figure that I-87 takes you all the way up and links you with a lot of major highways, both state hwy's and interstate hwy's, so, although it's not NYC, it's not exactly the boonies either.

OK, so the big nightlife is probably the Buca di Beppo restaurant near the Holiday Inn, but that doesn't mean there's nothing to do. I've only visited on business trips, so I don't have a great perspective on what it's like to live up there, but I know people who can give me a variety of viewpoints, from married with families to being single.