Why Am I So Helpless?

[WampusCrandle]

so, last night, around 7 pm, i came home to find my brother and sister around my mom. she is barely responsive and pupils seemed dilated. they were both freaking out and i called 911. they came, and this horrible thing called post 53 where highschool kids help (not a good idea ever). they take her and bring her to the hospital where i have been for at least 7 hours. turns out my mother's been talking and mixing pills she has been giving, causing a seizure, and possibly a stroke. she is only 50. i just dont know what to do. i wake up this morning and i feel numb, i didnt even cry. what's wrong with me? God, all i want to do is help, and i just cant seem to get any. all i could do was just look at her and hope for the best. . . . .and the worst part is, i felt like "well, if she is 50 and this is happening, how the hell can i do it. she had everything in life and still . . . "

anyway, i am going to the hospital in an hour or so to see if the ekg has picked anything up. the doctors did say that it was a seizure, and caused a stroke, which i guess is different than just having a stroke. i really dont know the difference, but lord knows i am gonna find out. if i were only smart as Mike the Teacher!

[MadMatt]

Hang in there Budday! I know how helpless it can feel, but you have to trust that the doctors know what they are doing and will help your Mom the best they can.

The best thing you can do is ask questions, find out what happened to your Mom, and what the next steps are. You will be most helpful being there with her to provide support and then helping her to recover.

And if there is anything we can do from here, let us know. If you post a few details I'm sure there are several of us here that can do some research/legwork for you.

Stay strong my friend.

[DiabloSammich]

Matt is right. Unfortunately, unless you go out of your way to find out yourself, life doesn't teach you how to deal with emergency situations and the health issues of loved ones until the time comes. But the questions and the gathering of information will be the most therapeutic activity you will engage in now. I unfortunately know more about stage 4 lung cancer than I would ever hoped to, but it was important to me that I know everything that was going on. I couldn't solve the problem, I couldn't make it all better, and most of the time I couldn't even take away the pain. But I was constantly engaged and inquisistive.

It might not work for you. But then again, it might. Give it a shot, and hang in there.

[EliSnow]

I'm praying for you buddy.

[Dingbat_Charlie]

hang in there, budday. You're not a doctor - the best you can do is be there for her.

Don't beat yourself up over the numbness. You're probably still in a bit of shock over the whole thing.

[WampusCrandle]

well, just signed back on, and in less than an hour, i actually got answers, which i am mixed about. she did have a seizure, but it was too bad, but she could die from it (anyone can) and that her high blood pressure doesnt help at all. also, the doctor said that it doesnt look like she had a stroke, and if she did, it was so tiny it didnt make any problems for down the road. she cant have a cigarette again - in her entire life. that is going to be the big hurdle for her, as well as going to physical therapy and going to silverhill. its amazing what one hour can do.

thank you to those that give support. i really have to say that this board is amazing for support and help. really, i take everything you all say to heart.

[KC2OSO]

Sometimes there's just nothing you can do no matter how much information you have...That helpless feeling really is hard to deal with but hang in there.

Stay strong and as close as you can to your mom.

[bigchad5150]

Good luck man. On a lighter note... I looked at the thread name "Why Am I So Helpless", and thought it was a thread about Black Earl. Hold Pease

[Justice4all]

I know how you feel buddy, I will pray for your mom to have a fast recovery.

You can't fix the world, or even loved ones. Just be there for her.
I hope things get better for you soon.

[WampusCrandle]

well, thank you for all of the prayers and thoughts.

it seems now that there was no stroke, which i am so thankful for. she is almost up to the speed that she has been, but now it seems that there is a new problem: she says that it was just an accident. it wasnt. as i went through her stuff trying to find what could have caused all this, and i realized, her fucking meds. so, i got all the viles - 20. i thought i was going to have a breakdown. i feel like i could have stopped this or something, god, it really feels like i have brought this on her, in some odd way. well, she is saying that she isnt an addict, and she is, there is no doubt about it. we are trying to send her to either silverhill, or some kind of therapy thing, she needs to detox - its just a fucking mess and it looks like she wont go without a fight. in fact, as i sit here, i over hear my dad saying how if she doesnt shape up, he was going to sue my mom and take my brother and sister away, and that this is the 6th time (was a major drinker, first time with pills) this has happened!

i just feel like i havent done anything to stop this . . . . fuck

[Badinia]

Wow, W.C., what a rollercoaster you're on!

You're there, supporting your mom, trying to figure out what to do next. That's all anyone can do.

[Gvac]

well, thank you for all of the prayers and thoughts.

it seems now that there was no stroke, which i am so thankful for. she is almost up to the speed that she has been, but now it seems that there is a new problem: she says that it was just an accident. it wasnt. as i went through her stuff trying to find what could have caused all this, and i realized, her fucking meds. so, i got all the viles - 20. i thought i was going to have a breakdown. i feel like i could have stopped this or something, god, it really feels like i have brought this on her, in some odd way. well, she is saying that she isnt an addict, and she is, there is no doubt about it. we are trying to send her to either silverhill, or some kind of therapy thing, she needs to detox - its just a fucking mess and it looks like she wont go without a fight. in fact, as i sit here, i over hear my dad saying how if she doesnt shape up, he was going to sue my mom and take my brother and sister away, and that this is the 6th time (was a major drinker, first time with pills) this has happened!

i just feel like i havent done anything to stop this . . . . fuck

I can't tell you how sorry I am to hear what you've been through, buddy. It must be a living hell.

To blame yourself is pointless, however. Your mother is not a child, but a grown woman. She's going to make her own decisions and do what she wants whether you attempt to interfere or not.

Addiction is never anybody else's fault, only the users. Be strong, compassionate, and understanding, but realize that guilt should not be one of your feelings.

Best of luck to you and your family, brother.