I'm Tossing My Hat Into The Ring

[Gvac]

I'd like to announce that I've decided to run for President of the United States of America in 2008.

My platform is simple, direct, and brutally honest.

I'll delve into it a little deeper tomorrow, but the two main points are what I like to call "The Logan's Run Law" and "The War on God."

Intrigued?

You should be.

We'll discuss this after I get a good night's sleep, but I think you should also know that I have the most important thing any candidate needs - a catchy slogan.

Obama who?

[TheMojoPin]

"The Logan's Run Law"

I don't think that means what you think it means, old timer.

[mikeyboy]

I don't think that means what you think it means, old timer.

Let him be. He thinks Megan's law doesn't affect him either.

[thepaulo]

If I remember correctly, the "logan's run law"would imvolved throwing old fuckers out in the cold to die.....and by "old" I'm talking 30.

[Gmann]

Hence Gvac would sooooooooooo be dead

[damainer]

Maybe he has a twist on the Logans run law. I hope so cuz I just turned 33 today.

[Bulldogcakes]

<embed src="http://www.theonion.com/content/themes/common/assets/videoplayer/flvplayer.swf" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowScriptAccess="always" wmode="transparent" width="400" height="355" flashvars="file=http://www.theonion.com/content/xml/68210/video&autostart=false&image=http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/BULLSHIT.jpg&bufferlength=3&embedded=true&title=Poll%3A%20Bullshit%20Is%20Most%20Important%2 0Issue%20For%202008%20Voters"></embed><br/><a href="http://www.theonion.com/content/video/poll_bullshit_is_most_important?utm_source=embedde d_video">Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters</a>

You're certainly qualified

[DiabloSammich]

I thought you lost your hat?

[sailor]

I thought you lost your hat?

:lol:

[drjoek]

Again with the hats!!

Im on board Gvac08

[Chip196]

Will we rename AirforceOne to GVACMobile?

[Gvac]

Will we rename AirforceOne to GVACMobile?

HA! I love it!

To further clarify, Logan's Run Law will indeed be a modification of the old sci fi movie. Once a citizen reaches 85 years of age we exterminate them. Let's face it; they've ceased being productive members of society for quite some time at that age and endanger the rest of us with their driving. This law allows men and women to enjoy 20 years of life after their retirement but no more.

I know this would mean my 94 year old grandfather would have to go, but he's been a miserable bastard for a long time now, always bitching about how bored and lonely he is because he's outlived his wife and all of his friends. Under my new law, he would have joined his loved ones 9 years ago. This also makes sure these old codgers aren't sucking off the tit of Social Security for too long and may save it from bankruptcy.

The War On God is another equally controversial proposal but I think I could sell it. Here, we would promise each and every American citizen 10 years of freedom from state, local, and federal taxes. That's right...NO MORE TAXES!

How, you ask?

Simple. We begin immediately taxing all churches, temples, mosques, and every house of worship. Enough already. The trillions of dollars that would be collected would be more than enough to cover our debt and would give the American people some much needed relief to their pocketbooks.

There are more plans, including The War On Satan but I don't want to reveal too much, lest my fresh and new ideas be co-opted by the despicable candidates we have running already.

As far as my catchy campaign slogan? Try this on for size - "Things are gonna get better...you'll see!!!"

Who could resist?

[Hottub]

A chicken in every pot, and a Greek Boy in every bed.

Gvac 08. It will be great!

[TheMojoPin]

Will we finally wage a REAL war against Albania?

[pennington]

Add a War On Public Employee Unions and I'm in. Something along the lines of "You have to live like the rest of us" (retire at 65 not 55, pay for a portion of your health insurance, 401K's).

Also, once in office would you vow to release information to shut up the conspiracy enthusiasts? Did we land on the moon? What happened at Roswell? The World Trade Center? Kennedy?

[Jughead]

Can i sing at the inauguration??? GVAC ..has a nice ring to it...:smile: Ps can we have Mondays off???Please???

[DiabloSammich]

I'd like a cabinet position.

[Jughead]

I'd like a cabinet position.

That would be a great move..Mr President!!!..I'm thinking the treasury dept???

[sailor]

instead of taxing everyone's incomes we're basically going to tax what they donate to churches and this will balance out? i don't see it.

[Gvac]

instead of taxing everyone's incomes we're basically going to tax what they donate to churches and this will balance out? i don't see it.

"There are none so blind..."

[sailor]

"There are none so blind..."

"Fine words! I wonder where you stole ’em."

[King Hippos Bandaid]

Gvac I need to be one of these cushy titles when you are in office


Secretary of Steak


Beacon of Bacon

[Chip196]

"I'll be the best president ever ... you'll see"

[TheMojoPin]

Gvac I need to be one of these cushy titles when you are in office


Secretary of Steak


Beacon of Bacon

I agree. Hippo can be a national inspiration. Some sort of "Don't do what Hippo does" campaign to steer the kids right.

[King Hippos Bandaid]

I agree. Hippo can be a national inspiration. Some sort of "Don't do what Hippo does" campaign to steer the kids right.

this is true I am not "Child Friendly"

If a stranger is offering you Bacon, jump in his car little Timmy

I know I went into the car, my tushy used to hurt

[Chip196]

Gvac I need to be one of these cushy titles when you are in office


Secretary of Steak


Beacon of Bacon

The Pope of Pork!

[Gvac]

Will we finally wage a REAL war against Albania?

This intrigues me...

[King Hippos Bandaid]

The Pope of Pork!

I like the Prince of Pork


also Mojo, Albania is hiding weapons of mass ugliness

they are the real enemy General Gvac's first mission should be to Nuke Em

[TheMojoPin]

I like the Prince of Pork


also Mojo, Albania is hiding weapons of mass ugliness

they are the real enemy General Gvac's first mission should be to Nuke Em

Bad move. That will create superpowered mutat Albanians.

[Chip196]

I like the Prince of Pork


also Mojo, Albania is hiding weapons of mass ugliness

they are the real enemy General Gvac's first mission should be to Nuke Em

How about: The Sultan of Swine

[King Hippos Bandaid]

Bad move. That will create superpowered mutat Albanians.

fine , we bash them all with Louisville Sluggers

I gots mine

http://battersboxonline.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/ls.jpg

[epo]

Does this stem from Snoogans complaining that I won't make him Secretary of Weed?

[Bulldogcakes]

HA! I love it!

To further clarify, Logan's Run Law will indeed be a modification of the old sci fi movie. Once a citizen reaches 85 years of age we exterminate them. Let's face it; they've ceased being productive members of society for quite some time at that age and endanger the rest of us with their driving. This law allows men and women to enjoy 20 years of life after their retirement but no more.

I know this would mean my 94 year old grandfather would have to go, but he's been a miserable bastard for a long time now, always bitching about how bored and lonely he is because he's outlived his wife and all of his friends. Under my new law, he would have joined his loved ones 9 years ago. This also makes sure these old codgers aren't sucking off the tit of Social Security for too long and may save it from bankruptcy.

Good idea, but a bit harsh. Might I suggest a more humane way of accomplishing the same goal.

Reverse immigration.

Have Mexico send us their young, healthy workers to work in our factories and delicatessens, send everyone over 80 to Mexico. Tell them its Bingo night or something. Half of them won't know the difference, anyway. Make the Mexicans who come here to work citizens immedaitely and revoke the citizenship for everyone over 80. Social Security and Medicare would be in the black overnight, and I hear Mexican chicks dig middle aged American men.


The War On God is another equally controversial proposal but I think I could sell it. Here, we would promise each and every American citizen 10 years of freedom from state, local, and federal taxes. That's right...NO MORE TAXES!

How, you ask?

Simple. We begin immediately taxing all churches, temples, mosques, and every house of worship. Enough already. The trillions of dollars that would be collected would be more than enough to cover our debt and would give the American people some much needed relief to their pocketbooks.


Never happen. Churches are dead broke as it is with all the Altar boys suing their pants off.

I have a better solution. The "Bright Idea Tax". Every genius who thinks they have the answer to a problem has to pay a tax depending on how stupid it is. A scale will be employed to determine the tax. If the idea is just a little misguided, you pay maybe $100. If its colossally, infinitely stupid, you pay everything you earn for the rest of your life. I think this will help get less people involved in politics, most of whom have no idea what the fuck they're talking about anyway. It will also rid us of this stupid, outdated notion of "Democracy" which can't possibly work in today's complicated world.

and yes, I'd have to pay it for both parts of my post.

[A.J.]

Give me DoD. PLEEEEEAAASE.

[Kevin]

This Lent thing will help you out in the Religious vote. But then it will quickly be negated when they find out about your night with Phishy last night.

[joethebartender]

ya know, one of those muckrakers could bring this whole campaign to a halt with a copy of that banana/buck knife video.:unsure: ...Just sayin'.:innocent:

[scottinnj]

The War On God is another equally controversial proposal but I think I could sell it. Here, we would promise each and every American citizen 10 years of freedom from state, local, and federal taxes. That's right...NO MORE TAXES!

How, you ask?

Simple. We begin immediately taxing all churches, temples, mosques, and every house of worship. Enough already. The trillions of dollars that would be collected would be more than enough to cover our debt and would give the American people some much needed relief to their pocketbooks.



Who could resist?


Lent must have pissed him off this year.

[scottinnj]

I need to be Secretary of Transportation. Whereas, I am transported to every known vacation spot in America and overseas to make sure these havens from the every day life meet up to the expectations of President Gvac.

My first 100 days in office I promise I will visit:

The Bahamas
The Virgin Islands
Tahiti
Hawaii
Tijuana
Costa Rica

[drjoek]

HA! I love it!

To further clarify, Logan's Run Law will indeed be a modification of the old sci fi movie. Once a citizen reaches 85 years of age we exterminate them.

I



As far as my catchy campaign slogan? Try this on for size - "Things are gonna get better...you'll see!!!"

Who could resist?

Gvac will only be allowed to live long enough to make it through his second term HAHAHA
See that, a Gvac is old joke

[scottinnj]

Gvac will only be allowed to live long enough to make it through his second term HAHAHA
See that, a Gvac is old joke

Too Easy. Make a Gvac is sexy joke, and you'll be the funny man you think you are.

[IMSlacker]

As far as my catchy campaign slogan? Try this on for size - "Things are gonna get better...you'll see!!!"

Who could resist?

How about: "Time's Up, Nana!"

[badmonkey]

HA! I love it!

To further clarify, Logan's Run Law will indeed be a modification of the old sci fi movie. Once a citizen reaches 85 years of age we exterminate them. Let's face it; they've ceased being productive members of society for quite some time at that age and endanger the rest of us with their driving. This law allows men and women to enjoy 20 years of life after their retirement but no more.

I know this would mean my 94 year old grandfather would have to go, but he's been a miserable bastard for a long time now, always bitching about how bored and lonely he is because he's outlived his wife and all of his friends. Under my new law, he would have joined his loved ones 9 years ago. This also makes sure these old codgers aren't sucking off the tit of Social Security for too long and may save it from bankruptcy.

As far as my catchy campaign slogan? Try this on for size - "Things are gonna get better...you'll see!!!"

Who could resist?

http://www.dvdrama.com/imagescrit2/s/t/i/stiller_terminagolf.jpg
We will take extra special care of your grandma.

[OGC]

Speaking of hats ... (http://artofmanliness.com/2008/03/01/bringing-back-the-hat/)

[Fallon]

http://img149.imageshack.us/img149/9656/gvacap6.jpg

[Gvac]

http://img149.imageshack.us/img149/9656/gvacap6.jpg

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!!!

Fallon for VP!!!!

[Friday]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!!!

Fallon for VP!!!!

you boys better get your campaign kickoff speeches together for Friday night!

[Bob Impact]

I'm in!

[scottinnj]

Yerdaddy's PIMB campaign is in full effect. How does the Gvac campaign plan to come back from behind by 20 points?

And the hope angle is being used by a real campaign. Can't use that!

[King Hippos Bandaid]

http://img149.imageshack.us/img149/9656/gvacap6.jpg


:lol:

your best work yet

[sailor]

http://img149.imageshack.us/img149/9656/gvacap6.jpg

is gvac flaming?

[Devo37]

i'm throwing my socks in the ring. there's a hole in the big toe.

[drjoek]

http://img149.imageshack.us/img149/9656/gvacap6.jpg

This guy could win the blue states.
I see a landslide victory

[Reephdweller]

Ladies and gentleman, I would like to formally announce my endorsement of GVAC for president.

He's got the biggest balls of them all!

I won't ask for it, but I do expect a cabinet position in the administration. I could form the "Department of Exterior" would be completely dedicated to the adoration of womens backsides and of course...panties.

http://images.tastyteens.tv/post/20060516/sexy_teen_panties_02.jpg

[Kris10]

Gvac couldn't be worse then who is currently running.

[mikeyboy]

Gvac couldn't be worse then who is currently running.

He could surprise you.

[spot]

I fully support this candidate, and pledge all of my "delegates" to his cause.

[Devo37]

http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c395/Devo37/gvac08.jpg

[Devo37]

damn crappy photo editor. that pic looked much better before i saved it as a jpg, i swear!

[Fallon]

damn crappy photo editor. that pic looked much better before i saved it as a jpg, i swear!

You must have something on that makes the picture quality go down a little to get the size smaller.

[Marc with a c]

i just threw your hat back.

[thepaulo]

Is there something wrong with all you people.....Gvac wants to kill everyone over 85....Is there no one who finds anything wrong with that......that's barbaric and cretinous.....I literallly can't believe my eyes. Where oh where, Dear God,is the humanity? What has become of us all.
Now if he had said he'd kill everyone between 20 and 30, I could get behind that.

[deepinthewoods]

I think it would be best for everyone if Gvac simply tossed his salad into the ring.

[midwestjeff]

I think it would be best for everyone if Gvac simply tossed his salad into the ring.

or maybe his cock.

[Devo37]

Is there something wrong with all you people.....Gvac wants to kill everyone over 85....Is there no one who finds anything wrong with that......that's barbaric and cretinous.....I literallly can't believe my eyes. Where oh where, Dear God,is the humanity? What has become of us all.
Now if he had said he'd kill everyone between 20 and 30, I could get behind that.

i work part-time at an old-folks' home. in general, they're terrible people who live painful, miserable lives. president gvac will do what's right!

[NewYorkDragons80]

What's all this about Anal Ring Toss?

[Fallon]

http://img129.imageshack.us/img129/7696/18259637ow6.jpg

Credit Matty w/ the idea.

[mikeyboy]

http://img129.imageshack.us/img129/7696/18259637ow6.jpg

damn straight

[Gmann]

Wow, Im so torn over who to vote for.

[PapaBear]

Wow, Im so torn over who to vote for.
I'm voting for Mikeyboy, because he's black.

[Fallon]

I'm voting for Mikeyboy, because he's black.

Mikey covers both sides.

http://img509.imageshack.us/img509/3176/82700314ef0.jpg

[mikeyboy]

Mikey covers both sides.

http://img509.imageshack.us/img509/3176/82700314ef0.jpg

How come no one told me by beard was hideous?

[Fallon]

How come no one told me by beard was hideous?

The Ban Hamster is really intimidating.

[King Hippos Bandaid]

I am voting for the person who promises less bannings

[TheMojoPin]

I voting for the person who promises more Hippo and Albanian bannings. And canings.

[mikeyboy]

My slogan: Most people don't assume I'm insane.

[Kevin]

I voting for the person who promises more Hippo and Albanian bannings. And canings.

I'd also like a unilateral Cub fan ban. They really give a creepy cursed vibe to the whole board. I think it might be the reasoning for Gvac's insanity of late.

Is that a goat I see?? DAMN IT!!! DO IT NOW!!!

[Gmann]

How come no one told me by beard was hideous?


It is not. Its something the ordinary man can relate to, which will garner you voter sympathy. Hence why Im leaning toward you.

[Bulldogcakes]

i'm throwing my socks in the ring. there's a hole in the big toe.

I'm throwing my shirt in the hamper. It has 'ring around the collar'.

[Reephdweller]

I voting for the person who promises more Hippo and Albanian bannings. And canings.



Don't forget panties.

[sailor]

i just threw your hat back.

oh, snap!

i work part-time at an old-folks' home. in general, they're terrible people who live painful, miserable lives. president gvac will do what's right!

he'll put you out of work?

[Friday]

I think I am going to go with a different candidate.
I wonder if he knows he is running yet....

[AKA]

If GVAC is successful, the Oscars will be twice as long (with the "Dead People" roll call montage) as we round up all of the old actors still clinging to sweet breath.

Goodbye Zsa Zsa, Hugh Hefner, Eli Wallach, Charlton Heston, Kirk Douglas, Blake Edwards and Lena Horne - GVAC doesn't want your vote. The elderly are as useful to him as the mentally stable.

I hear Mexican chicks dig middle aged American men.

Damn straight they do.

Never happen. Churches are dead broke as it is with all the Altar boys suing their pants off.

Fickle bastards - pants on/pants off.

How come no one told me by beard was hideous?

Your beard is hideolicious.

Most people don't assume I'm insane.

Do most people IM with you? Because if they did, they would know how thin that line is you ride.

Is there something wrong with all you people.....Gvac wants to kill everyone over 85....Is there no one who finds anything wrong with that......

My only real problem with this is GVAC is assuming people still retire at 65.

[topless_mike]

would the bass players be a rogue rebel milita group?

STEP UP !

[TheMojoPin]

Is that a goat I see??

Of course. They flock around Albanians wherever they go.

[Kevin]

Of course. They flock around Albanians wherever they go.

I say they are there to mock the Albanian Cub fans.. Such as Jim Bulushi!

[TheMojoPin]

I say they are there to mock the Albanian Cub fans.. Such as Jim Bulushi!

Or to mock him for being Albanian...and Jim Belushi. Talk about a double-whammy from a spiteful God.

[Kevin]

Or to mock him for being Albanian...and Jim Belushi. Talk about a double-whammy from a spiteful God.

Na, i think he has been more spiteful to cub fans... 2005 musta been hell.. WHITESOX WIN WHITESOX WIN!!!!

[ToddEVF]

If I remember correctly, the "logan's run law"would imvolved throwing old fuckers out in the cold to die.....and by "old" I'm talking 30.

Hate to make the correction but said "old fuckers" are either hunted by Sandmen or report to the Sleepshop for public execution which is passed off as Carousel, the "Renewel" Ceremony.

[TheMojoPin]

Na, i think he has been more spiteful to cub fans... 2005 musta been hell.. WHITESOX WIN WHITESOX WIN!!!!

That WS was so poorly rated, it has been stricken from existence.

[Bulldogcakes]

So nobody likes my "Bright Idea Tax" huh? I thought that one had legs.

Everybody likes their own bright ideas and hates everyone else's. I thought it was a perfect wedge issue.

[mikeyboy]

I would like to see Marc with a c enter the race as an independant

[JerseyRich]

With Friday on my side, I have cornered the Hispanic vote....

#1 minority in the USA!

Eat it Mikeyboy.

[keithy_19]

The War on God would never work. Churches don't have the money to pay taxes. The donations certain churches get are so miniscule it would force the congregation to close. And if that's the case, then members of the religion will just meet in their homes to worship. It's impossible to do.

[jauble]

So nobody likes my "Bright Idea Tax" huh? I thought that one had legs.

Everybody likes their own bright ideas and hates everyone else's. I thought it was a perfect wedge issue.

so based off the response how much would you be taxed?

[Hottub]

With Friday on my side, I have cornered the Hispanic vote....

#1 minority in the USA!

Eat it Mikeyboy.


Sorry man. Mikey is Hispanic.

FACE!!

[Gmann]

With Friday on my side, I have cornered the Hispanic vote....

#1 minority in the USA!

Eat it Mikeyboy.


Im voting Mikeyboy all the way sir.

[JerseyRich]

Sorry man. Mikey is Hispanic.

FACE!!

Traitor!


STEP Up!

[Kevin]

Traitor!


STEP Up!

For the love of God,at least try making it look legit by having your presidential sig.

[keithy_19]

While not being able to run for the presidency of the United States of America, I will be asking for people to sign a petition to over turn the 35 year old age limit. Let's add some youth and vigor into this country. Because after all, fresh ideas from a fresh face should be a welcomed change to the ever stagnant ideas that have been pingponging between both aisles.

[badmonkey]

While not being able to run for the presidency of the United States of America, I will be asking for people to sign a petition to over turn the 35 year old age limit. Let's add some youth and vigor into this country. Because after all, fresh ideas from a fresh face should be a welcomed change to the ever stagnant ideas that have been pingponging between both aisles.

I agree. Middle schoolers, teenagers, and college students. They are the ones that know every fucking thing. They should get their shot.

[sailor]

Sorry man. Mikey is Hispanic.

FACE!!

puerto rican = fake hispanic

[keithy_19]

I agree. Middle schoolers, teenagers, and college students. They are the ones that know every fucking thing. They should get their shot.

No. They don't. Which is why the voting age should stay the same. With that being said, there are some people who are under the age of 35 who are able to formulate detailed plans for this countries social and foreign issues.

[keithy_19]

puerto rican = fake hispanic

:wub:

[JerseyRich]

For the love of God,at least try making it look legit by having your presidential sig.

Better?

[Kevin]

Better?

Much!

[JerseyRich]

I just realized I can't even run for Pres.



I was not born in the USA.


Good luck Gvac!

[Hottub]

Greg Is A Good Egg!

[JerseyRich]

Gvac.

He has BIG BALLS!

That's how he should run.

[Kevin]

Gvac.

He has BIG BALLS!

That's how he should run.

For the love of God, make Gvacs candidacy look legit by taking off your Presidential sig!

[JerseyRich]

For the love of God, make Gvacs candidacy look legit by taking off your Presidential sig!

Jesus Christ!

You're like a woman!

[Kevin]

Jesus Christ!

You're like a woman!

I am just trying to make sure Its fair and balanced.. Just like FoxNews..

[MadMatt]

I just realized I can't even run for Pres.



I was not born in the USA.


Good luck Gvac!

What were the circumstances? The law means that NATURALIZED citizens can't be President; if you are the son of US citizens, were born outside the US, but have still been a citizen since birth, you can run for President.

:clap:

[King Hippos Bandaid]

Jesus Christ!

You're like a woman!


this is why you should be President

fuck the rules

[scottinnj]

I am not declaring my candidacy. I am declaring my takeover of the US government. I am now god of America, ruler of the Milky Way and saviour to the people........

Yeah I know, I'm still working on good dictatorship slogans. NOW MAKE ME KING!

[Hottub]

Matt, the law is laid out quite clearly


You MUST be born in the U.S.
You must be at least 35 years old
You must not live with your mother


3 strikes, Rich.

[cougarjake13]

how can he toss his hat in the ring if he lost it ??????????

[Friday]

Im voting Mikeyboy all the way sir.

Would you take that IMPOSTER hispanic over the OFFICIAL CANDIDATE of the Hispanic community??

Sir... I implore you to reconsider. We need your tan skin in support of our ticket!
My breasts.... i mean.... Jersey Rich is counting on YOU!

http://images.jupiterimages.com/common/detail/13/44/23294413.jpg

[Kevin]

Would you take that IMPOSTER hispanic over the OFFICIAL CANDIDATE of the Hispanic community??

Sir... I implore you to reconsider. We need your tan skin in support of our ticket!
My breasts.... i mean.... Jersey Rich is counting on YOU!

http://images.jupiterimages.com/common/detail/13/44/23294413.jpg

I am sorry to have to tell you this, but Jersey Rich is out.

[keithy_19]

Friday, can you run? I'd definately vote for you. I'd try to rig the damn thing for you.

[scottinnj]

My breasts.... i mean....
http://images.jupiterimages.com/common/detail/13/44/23294413.jpg

Wanna be a VP?

[Friday]

Matt, the law is laid out quite clearly

You MUST be born in the U.S.
You must be at least 35 years old
You must not live with your mother
3 strikes, Rich.

Fuckit! The rules don't apply here! The only requirement in THIS election is that you like some man ass every now and then.

If Obama can run... then so can JERSEY RICH!

[Friday]

I am sorry to have to tell you this, but Jersey Rich is out.

you, sir, do not speak loud enough in person to have an actual opinion!

i decree.... your opinion is NULL AND VOID!

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[keithy_19]

Fuckit! The rules don't apply here! The only requirement in THIS election is that you like some man ass every now and then.

If Obama can run... then so can JERSEY RICH!

Hispanic people are so scared, of black people...

[Friday]

Friday, can you run? I'd definately vote for you. I'd try to rig the damn thing for you.

ooh... i never thought of that angle.... hmmmmmm....

[MadMatt]

Matt, the law is laid out quite clearly


You MUST be born in the U.S.
You must be at least 35 years old
You must not live with your mother


3 strikes, Rich.

Not trying to be a dick, but the first qualification is that you must be a "natural born citizen (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/President_of_the_United_States)" of the United States. As Defined:

The requirements for citizenship and the very definition thereof have changed since the Constitution was ratified in 1788. Congress first recognized the citizenship of children born to U.S. parents overseas on March 26, 1790, under the first naturalization law: "And the children of citizens of the United States that may be born beyond sea, or outside the limits of the United States, shall be considered as natural born citizens." (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natural-born_citizen)

As for the other two points - as they pertain to Rich - he is screwed.

Who wants a basement dwelling, apron hugging youngster as President anyway?

[keithy_19]

Who wants a basement dwelling, apron hugging youngster as President anyway?

Exactly why I would be ideal. I don't dwell in the basement. I'm second floor baby, meaning I'm classy.

[scottinnj]

Okay Friday, if you drop this Jersey Rich nonsense, I'll make you Secretary of Shoes.

[keithy_19]

Okay Friday, if you drop this Jersey Rich nonsense, I'll make you Secretary of Shoes.

You are so awful with the way you degrade women like that. Make her your vp, or secretary of state.

FRIDAY IN 08'! MAKE EVERY FRIDAY A NATIONAL HOLIDAY!

[MadMatt]

Okay Friday, if you drop this Jersey Rich nonsense, I'll make you Secretary of Shoes.

You are so awful with the way you degrade women like that. Make her your vp, or secretary of state.

FRIDAY IN 08'! MAKE EVERY FRIDAY A NATIONAL HOLIDAY!

Yeah, what keithy said!

Besides, didn't you already promise the Secretary of Shoes position to Marc with A C?

[scottinnj]

You are so awful with the way you degrade women like that. Make her your vp, or secretary of state.

FRIDAY IN 08'! MAKE EVERY FRIDAY A NATIONAL HOLIDAY!

She'd be my only secretary, but I have to throw in the shoes, or else it's JERSEY RICH for life!

She's gonna be secretary of Friday, whereas her knowledge of being an actual Friday will make the new start of the 3 day weekend I have promised my minions...er...fellow Americans....fun and fancy-free!

Secretary of Transportation, whereas her duties are to try out vacation spots in advance and brief me on the pros and cons of the best places to lay out in the sun, the hottest cabana boys and which barmaid makes the best screwdrivers.

I'm still thinking on this....

[Gmann]

Unless another candidate steps up Mikeyboy has my vote.

If Friday wants to try and...oh I dunno...sway my vote....

[scottinnj]

Yeah, what keithy said!

Besides, didn't you already promise the Secretary of Shoes position to Marc with A C?

Marc with A C is already slated to be my Secretary of Health and Human Resources...he's promised to do a quality check with each and every government issued condom.

[mikeyboy]

you, sir, do not speak loud enough in person to have an actual opinion!

i decree.... your opinion is NULL AND VOID!

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I definitely can't argue with your platform.

[Friday]

You are so awful with the way you degrade women like that. Make her your vp, or secretary of state.

FRIDAY IN 08'! MAKE EVERY FRIDAY A NATIONAL HOLIDAY!

I think I am really starting to like this Keithy fellow..... :thumbup:

[mikeyboy]

I think I am really starting to like this Keithy fellow..... :thumbup:

I wouldn't encourage him too much.

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/5119J8E1EEL._AA280_.jpg

[keithy_19]

I think I am really starting to like this Keithy fellow..... :thumbup:

I'm just standing for what I believe in miss, and understand that this country needs a long weekend.

FRIDAY IN 2008!

[keithy_19]

I wouldn't encourage him too much.

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/5119J8E1EEL._AA280_.jpg

That is dirty politics sir! Don't make me drudge up things on you...

[JerseyRich]

Not trying to be a dick, but the first qualification is that you must be a "natural born citizen (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/President_of_the_United_States)" of the United States. As Defined:

The requirements for citizenship and the very definition thereof have changed since the Constitution was ratified in 1788. Congress first recognized the citizenship of children born to U.S. parents overseas on March 26, 1790, under the first naturalization law: "And the children of citizens of the United States that may be born beyond sea, or outside the limits of the United States, shall be considered as natural born citizens." (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natural-born_citizen)

As for the other two points - as they pertain to Rich - he is screwed.

Who wants a basement dwelling, apron hugging youngster as President anyway?

I am a citizen...

I became one in 1990. I was born in England and both my parents were as well...


Vote for Pedro!

[Friday]

I am a citizen...

I became one in 1990. I was born in England and both my parents were as well...


Vote for Ricardo!

fixed!

[scottinnj]

I am a citizen...

I became one in 1990. I was born in England and both my parents were as well...


Vote for Pedro!

Damn Tory. NO TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION! Or some good hemp with a freindly wench.

[GvacNoMore]

I was born in England and both my parents were as well...

Communist.

[TheMojoPin]

http://www.school-for-champions.com/biographies/images/lee_harvey_oswald_2.jpg

[JerseyRich]

Communist.

Weren't you just telling me that your relatives were from Italy and Lithuania?


Who's the real commie here?

[weekapaugjz]

Communist.

don't communists hate corporations?

[sailor]

Weren't you just telling me that your relatives were from Italy and Lithuania?


Who's the real commie here?

mikey.

[GvacNoMore]

Please don't forget that I'm still searching for soldiers in my war on God.

[Team_Ramrod]

Please don't forget that I'm still searching for soldiers in my war on God.

OH, I'm there.....

[epo]

Weren't you just telling me that your relatives were from Italy and Lithuania?


Who's the real commie here?

Now the campaigning just got ugly.

[mikeyboy]

Please don't forget that I'm still searching for soldiers in my war on God.

Why would the man waging war on God be observing Lent?

[SatCam]

Why would the man waging war on God be observing Lent?

because he's twofaced

[GvacNoMore]

because he's twofaced

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

I don't know if I'm becoming slap happy from being on this board all day, but some of you fuckers are cracking me up.

Muchas gracias.

[DiabloSammich]

Sorry, I feel apathy setting in.

Either that, or heartburn.

[GvacNoMore]

Remember the love, Sammich?

You fickle bitch.

[DiabloSammich]

Remember the love, Sammich?

You fickle bitch.


No, it's not like that at all.

It's just that I was out with Hottub, and he bought me a beer, and after I drank it, everything kind of went fuzzy, and I don't remember much, but all I know is I now have no interest in much of anything.

You don't think he put something in my drink, do you? I mean, he's a mod, and if we can't trust the mods.....



Meh. (shrugs shoulders)

[Sinestro]

No, it's not like that at all.

It's just that I was out with Hottub, and he bought me a beer, and after I drank it, everything kind of went fuzzy, and I don't remember much, but all I know is I now have no interest in much of anything.

You don't think he put something in my drink, do you? I mean, he's a mod, and if we can't trust the mods.....



Meh. (shrugs shoulders)


Did you start walking funny when you woke up???

[GvacNoMore]

No, it's not like that at all.

It's just that I was out with Hottub, and he bought me a beer, and after I drank it, everything kind of went fuzzy, and I don't remember much, but all I know is I now have no interest in much of anything.

You don't think he put something in my drink, do you? I mean, he's a mod, and if we can't trust the mods.....



Meh. (shrugs shoulders)

I read you loud and clear, DS.

The eagle flies at dawn.

[DiabloSammich]

I read you loud and clear, DS.

The eagle flies at dawn.



Meh. (shrugs shoulders)

[mikeyboy]

Meh. (shrugs shoulders)

Wow. This "Deprogramming for Dummies" guide that Mojo bought actually came in handy.

[Bulldogcakes]

Meh. (shrugs shoulders)

That's twice you said that. Did Hottub disappoint you somehow?

[GvacNoMore]

DON'T BE SHEEP!!! JOIN THE WAR ON GOD!!!

[sailor]

DON'T BE SHEEP!!! JOIN THE WAR ON GOD!!!

follow gvacnomore blindly!

[Team_Ramrod]

DON'T BE SHEEP!!! JOIN THE WAR ON GOD!!!

I already told you.....

[DiabloSammich]

DON'T BE SHEEP!!! JOIN THE WAR ON GOD!!!



Meh. (shrugs shoulders)

[scottinnj]

DON'T BE SHEEP!!! JOIN THE WAR ON GOD!!!

I read about that "armageddon-end of the earth" thing. I think you're on your own on this one Gvac. But good luck to ya!

[Gvac]

I'm going to steal this election!

You'll see!!!


http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s109/GregRotten/GvacforPres.jpg

[JerseyRich]

I'm going to steal this election!

You'll see!!!


http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s109/GregRotten/GvacforPres.jpg

Just like you stole my virginity.

[Friday]

Just like you stole my virginity.

you were the first of many, Richard.....

[JerseyRich]

you were the first of many, Richard.....

I feel dirty.

Bathe me.